Newlywed Blog

Has your marriage hit an unexpected slump?  If so, now is not the time to give up. This is an opportunity to renew bonds and strengthen the relationship that led you down the aisle. All marriages hit rough patches. As people grow and change and meet different obstacles, new strains and stresses can be placed on a couple. While coping may be tough, these stressful times are what make your relationship stronger and help you get through even bigger challenges in years to come.

Actions Speak Louder than Words

When your relationship is feeling rocky, the first thing most women want to do is speak up about it, but that is not always the best thing to do. When tempers are already on a short leash because of earlier arguments, tension is high because of outside stresses, or communication has simply run dry, talking about it might add fuel to the fire.  Consider instead the ways that you can say what you feel without opening your mouth (it helps to envision how to communicate with a cave man).  Are you tired of fighting and just want your partner to know that you are willing to hold on? Then, perhaps the best way to say so is with an impromptu hug. Slow dancing, hand holding, rubbing shoulders, and other similar gestures have universal meaning and will very likely let  him know what you’re feeling.

Offer a Helping Hand

Perhaps one of the reasons that your spouse has been in a bad mood recently has more to do with outside pressures that it has to do with you. Perhaps he or she just needs a helping hand. Marriage is about team work, so show that you understand by helping with a small task, chore, or just offering some insightful advice when he or she is talking about problems at work. Taking the trash out might seem like a small thing…but it may mean a great deal to your stressed out spouse!  Knowing someone is in your corner can make any situation more bearable.

Create Love Tokens

Another great way to demonstrate your feelings without words is through small tokens. Handmade cards left in a place that he or she is sure to find them, lunch delivered to the office during the day, or even a message scribbled on the fogged over bathroom mirror are great wordless ways to show love and affection. Taking the time to make another person know that you are thinking about him or her is the best way to show how much you care. However, these ‘gifts’ tend to lose their meaning when only given after a fight. These are the things that should be done now and then and consistently throughout a relationship. They don’t have to be frequent and might occasionally be used to say sorry after an argument, but let them maintain their intended meaning. If you’re looking for a more tangible love token, we love these love stones at Red Envelope. They can be put in a coat pocket, desk drawer or even passed back and forth between you two.

Talk to us newlyweds.  What things have you done to boost your relationship during stressful times?  Did your spouse get the unspoken message you were trying to convey?  We’d love to hear from you in a comment!