Archive for the ‘Newlywed Needs’ Category

3 Small Steps to a Better Marriage

Monday, January 16th, 2012

Newlywed Love NoteHas your marriage hit an unexpected slump?  If so, now is not the time to give up. This is an opportunity to renew bonds and strengthen the relationship that led you down the aisle. All marriages hit rough patches. As people grow and change and meet different obstacles, new strains and stresses can be placed on a couple. While coping may be tough, these stressful times are what make your relationship stronger and help you get through even bigger challenges in years to come.

Actions Speak Louder than Words

When your relationship is feeling rocky, the first thing most women want to do is speak up about it, but that is not always the best thing to do. When tempers are already on a short leash because of earlier arguments, tension is high because of outside stresses, or communication has simply run dry, talking about it might add fuel to the fire.  Consider instead the ways that you can say what you feel without opening your mouth (it helps to envision how to communicate with a cave man).  Are you tired of fighting and just want your partner to know that you are willing to hold on? Then, perhaps the best way to say so is with an impromptu hug. Slow dancing, hand holding, rubbing shoulders, and other similar gestures have universal meaning and will very likely let  him know what you’re feeling.

Offer a Helping Hand

Perhaps one of the reasons that your spouse has been in a bad mood recently has more to do with outside pressures that it has to do with you. Perhaps he or she just needs a helping hand. Marriage is about team work, so show that you understand by helping with a small task, chore, or just offering some insightful advice when he or she is talking about problems at work. Taking the trash out might seem like a small thing…but it may mean a great deal to your stressed out spouse!  Knowing someone is in your corner can make any situation more bearable.

Create Love Tokens

Another great way to demonstrate your feelings without words is through small tokens. Handmade cards left in a place that he or she is sure to find them, lunch delivered to the office during the day, or even a message scribbled on the fogged over bathroom mirror are great wordless ways to show love and affection. Taking the time to make another person know that you are thinking about him or her is the best way to show how much you care. However, these ‘gifts’ tend to lose their meaning when only given after a fight. These are the things that should be done now and then and consistently throughout a relationship. They don’t have to be frequent and might occasionally be used to say sorry after an argument, but let them maintain their intended meaning. If you’re looking for a more tangible love token, we love these love stones at Red Envelope. They can be put in a coat pocket, desk drawer or even passed back and forth between you two.

Talk to us newlyweds.  What things have you done to boost your relationship during stressful times?  Did your spouse get the unspoken message you were trying to convey?  We’d love to hear from you in a comment!

Newlywed New Years Resolutions

Monday, January 2nd, 2012

Newlywed New Years ResolutionsCan you believe it’s 2012?  It’s a totally new year to be a newlywed!  Whether this will mark your first full year as a married couple, or if you’ve been married for a few years, New Year’s resolutions can be great for you and your marriage.

While it’s easy to make huge promises for 2012 (like working out 7 days a week or climbing Mount Everest), I find  making one or two small resolutions much more easy to implement throughout the entire year. Stumped on what resolutions to make for you and/or your marriage this year?  Here are a few ideas to get you started…

Resolutions for Your Marriage:

Say one nice thing about your spouse every day.

Schedule a bi-weekly date night.

Surprise your hubby once a month (be it a home made dinner or naughty lingerie).

Try a new hobby out together.

Be the wife you always thought you be (patient, kind, giving, fun, etc.).

Say something positive before you say something negative about his work/family/friends.

Resolutions for You:

Reserve 30 minutes for “you” every day.

Try a new gym class or fitness craze (it’s a great way to meet new friends & zap holiday pounds).

Make a monthly girls night schedule with your friends.

Smile at people you don’t know.

Be nice to yourself (it sounds crazy, but not being so hard on yourself relieves tons of stress).

Save up, and buy yourself the fabulous shoes you’ve been coveting!

Hopefully these ideas will act as springboards for your own 2012 resolutions.  Did you make any newlywed resolutions you’d like to share with us? Leave a comment!

Buying Holiday Gifts for Your In-Laws

Friday, December 16th, 2011

Newlywed Advice Holiday ShoppingWhether it is the first holiday with your spouse or the tenth, it can be intimidating to pick out gifts for your in-laws.  If you have felt uncertain when shopping, then rest assured that you are not alone.  With the many fun, but scary things that come when saying ‘I Do’, there are a whole host of new holiday-related questions to be answered. But, shopping for your in-laws doesn’t have to be intimidating.  Consider these few pieces of advice before you head out to the stores.

Find Out What They Like The first step to finding the right gift this holiday season is to determine what things are most likely to be well-received.  In order to do this, you might have to a little covert investigation.  Carry a small notebook with you next time you are with your in-laws.  Take note of things said or noticed around the house. Is there something missing in the kitchen that one of them would surely love to have?  Did someone mention something seen in a catalog, online, or in a store?  You might even be able to start a conversation that leads down this path.  Mention a cool commercial you’ve seen recently or talk about your own shopping adventures.

Set a Budget Once you have some ideas in mind, it is time to sit down with your spouse and talk about the financial end of the holiday affairs.  How much can your household afford to spare?  This number, whatever it happens to be, needs to be split between all gift-receiving individuals.  To avoid hard feelings, it is often best to spend the same amount on each parent. Some couples decide to pay for their own parents gifts, respectively.

Shop Smart & Be Creative If you, like many Americans, are feeling the financial pinch this holiday season, don’t worry.  Everyone is aware of the economic status and the vast majority of people will understand if you have to cut holiday spending down this season.  Even those with little or nothing to spend can afford to create fantastic gifts.  Consider baking cookies or biscotti. If you have an artistic talent, use it to make something personal for your in laws.  Small, inexpensive tokens are often better received and more meaningful than impersonal ones that cost a small fortune.

What are you buying your in-laws this year?  Do you have a tried and true system that works? We’d love for you to share in a comment!

Family Gift Giving 101: Newlywed Holiday Etiquette

Monday, December 12th, 2011

Newlywed Holiday GiftsThe holidays are filled with happiness, love, good food, great friends, and the creation of many wonderful memories.  However, for many, this time of year also comes with great stress, as one is forced to consider the etiquette of gift giving within a new family.  It is absolutely wonderful to give a gift  and enjoy the look of thrill that comes with opening it, but giving a gift to a person who wasn’t expecting it often means giving a handful of guilt as well. When you are the one on the receiving end, with nothing to give in return, it can be horribly embarrassing.  So now that you’re part of a new family, how do you know who you are supposed to buy for and how much to spend?

Who Should You Be Buying For? This is often the first question asked in new marriages.  While it might be obvious what gifts need to be purchased on your side of the family, because you are very familiar with the traditions, it can be far more difficult deciding which relatives of your spouse will expect a present. One of the easiest ways to figure this out is to inquire about the annual holiday events.  Is there a big get-together with the extended family?  Who attends it?  Are gifts exchanged and how?  In many families, especially large families, it is nearly impossible to get a gift for every member, so names will be drawn from a hat so each person buys just one gift.  Others may choose to have a gift swap for which each person brings one or two wrapped gifts and names are drawn deciding the order in which participants choose from the table of presents.  Knowing what happens at your spouse’s holiday gatherings can often save you a great deal of worry.  If you are still unsure of the situation, consider stockpiling a few small items wrapped and on hand for unexpected circumstances. Consider small ornaments, kitchen gadgets, scarfs, candles  or other items that anyone might enjoy and if someone gives you a gift who you haven’t shopped for, use one of these standbys to prevent an uncomfortable situation.

How Much Should You Spend? This question should not have a universal answer.  Each family faces a different set of financial circumstances.  Staying on budget with your holiday shopping should be the primary goal, rather than worrying about what others are going to shell out for gifts.  Create a budget for what you can afford, who you need to buy for, and divide the total among them.  That way, there will be no question as to whether or not you have spent enough – you have spent what you can afford. As a final note, in some families, there will be a price limit set for gifts.  If that is the case, abide by the guideline, even if you feel that it is really too little.  This avoids embarrassing those who can’t afford to spend more.

Are you anxious about holiday shopping for your in-laws this year?  Stay tuned for our Top 10 In-Law gifts post later this week!

3 Steps to Setting a Holiday Budget as Newlyweds

Wednesday, December 7th, 2011

Newlywed Holiday BudgetThe holiday season is here and that means many things.  Happy music, good food, great friends, and fun-filled gathers are certainly on the long list of things that come with this time of year.  Unfortunately, though, not all thoughts are happy during this season.  While giving a gift to a person you love is undeniably wonderful, paying for it isn’t always so easy. If you are like millions of Americans who are finding it more and more difficult to set aside money during this economic downturn, then this might be a good time to consider budgeting for the upcoming shopping spree.

Step One: What Do You Have to Spend? The first step in budgeting for anything is to look closely at what you can afford.  What are you bringing in each month and what is being sent back out the door for bills, utilities, mortgage, loans, etc?  Once you have a clear picture of what is left over and what you might already have stocked away, you can move on to step two.

Step Two: How Far Does it Have to Go? The money that you have accounted for will likely have to cover all holiday spending.  This is something that many people overlook, and therefore, those people end up spending more than they planned by the time the first of the new year rolls around.  Stop to make a list of everything that you will need to buy for the holiday season – wrapping paper, ingredients for dishes to pass, decorations, etc. This list should also include the names of everyone you need to have presents for (don’t forget his side of the family).  When your list is complete, move on to step three.

Step Three: Allotting For Each Category With your list in hand, you can begin to break down the money that you have budgeted, dividing it up by categories – food, gifts, accessories – and then within each category.  At the end of this step you should know approximately how much you can spend on a gift for each person on the list.  Keep in mind that you will generally spend more money of gifts for a spouse than you would on a gift for a friend.  Those distinctions really matter and will allow your budget to be stretched more efficiently.  Create a chart with the names of each person and the budgeting allowance for the gift.  Label a third column as ‘money actually spent’ so you can keep close track of how you are doing during the shopping process.

Do you have a holiday budget or wish that you did?  We’d love to hear your solutions for shopping smartly this season!

Holiday Card Happiness

Thursday, December 1st, 2011

Newlywed Christmas CardIt’s here…the spine tingling anticipation of holidays! Are you celebrating the season as a newly engaged couple or newlyweds? What better way to share your good news and engagement/wedding photos than with a card?

We’ve scouted a few sites and come up with a few of our favorite card templates that allow you to add your own photo and a custom message to family and friends. On the family and friends note…be sure to order enough cards for your family and friends AND his!

For the Romantic

Was your wedding a dream come true with all of the details coming together to make a magical event? Share the love with one of these enchanting cards.

Classic
Do trees, holly, snowflakes and some Bing Crosby sum up your perfect holiday? Give the gift of good cheer with one of these cards.


Modern

Is your style simple and sleek? So are these great cards that showcase your love with minimal fuss.

For the Procrastinator:
Know you’re too busy to get a card out in time for Hanukkah or Christmas? Why not send out a New Years card wishing everyone a wonderful 2012?

Are you sending out cards this year or did we inspire you to? We’d love to hear what your cards are like in a comment!

48 Hour Sale: Save 50% off the MissNowMrs Name Change Service & Gift Cards!

Monday, November 28th, 2011

MissNowMrs SaleListen up newlyweds and brides-to-be…we’re having a HUGE sale on the knot/wedding channel deals! For 48 hours you and your friends can save HALF OFF our online name-change service for brides! What does the service have to offer? Well, how does saving 13 hours of hassle and skipping the majority of long office lines sound?

For the sale price of $14.95, MissNowMrs.com will help you auto-complete & file your Social Security, U.S. Passport, IRS 8822, USPS, state driver’s license, vehicle title & registration, and voter registration forms! We’ll also help you notify of all of your banks, credit cards, insurances, mortgages, medical providers, investment companies and professional license boards of your new married name.

Yet another perk of our service: access to our name-change experts. They can help you understand your state’s name-change laws, assist you with complicated questions and generally make your entire name change a million times easier than trying to sort through an enormous stack of government forms on your own!

So what are you waiting for? Take advantage of this amazing sale and save money, time & stress on your name change! We can’t wait to help you go from Miss to Mrs.! Already a Mrs., but have a few friends who are getting married in 2012? Use this sale to stock up on gift cards at half price!

Recipes to Help You Make a Great Impression (& Pie) this Thanksgiving

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011

Newlywed Thanksgiving PieThanksgiving is almost upon us and that means getting together with family and celebrating all of the things you are thankful for with a ton of food. It’s also a great time to showcase your personality and abilities to the family you married into.  Whether it’s pumpkin, chocolate meringue, apple or berry; a fabulous slice of pie is the best way to top off a great meal. As the newlywed addition to your spouse’s family, what better thing to bring to the meal, but a homemade pie?

Here a few recipes to help you make a great impression (and pie) this Thanksgiving:

For the Traditionalist: If you and Martha Steward are BFFs make a classic dessert to add to the feast. Here are a few great recipes for pumpkin pie, apple pie and berry cobbler. Your new family is certainly in for a treat!

For the Foodie: Are you the gracious gourmet? Flaunt your skills and great taste with a Pear Tarte Tatin or, if the oven is in over-drive, why not make a festive frozen treat? You’ll have more than a few family fans after making a Pumpkin Ice Cream Pie for dessert.

For the Frazzled: Want to bring something to add to dinner, but are short on time? Here are two great ideas that take an hour or less: whip up a Blackberry Pear Pie or try this Pecan Caramel Tart Recipe. These recipes may be short on prep time but they sure aren’t lacking in flavor or presentation. No one needs to know that you made them in a matter of minutes!

For the Innovator: Are you the edgy interesting person that loves a new flavor combination? Show off your taste for adventure with Pear Soup with Pancetta & Blue Cheese. I know it’s not pie…but it’s too amazing not to mention!  You could also make a Banana Rum Cream Pie that will have your in-laws drooling!

For the Health Conscious: Challenged by the invitation to bring something “sweet but healthy” to dinner?  Instantly ingratiate yourself with any children in the family by bringing Caramel Apples or Cranberry Pineapple Minis!

Do you have a signature pie recipe that you plan to make this Thanksgiving? Please share it with us!

Thanksgiving As Newlyweds: Tips For Success

Thursday, November 17th, 2011

Newlywed ThanksgivingMillions of men and women before you have successfully hosted Thanksgiving, so why should you and your spouse be any different?  The Thanksgiving meal is feared nearly as much as it is enjoyed each year. After all, the many side dishes that come together with the giant bird require a lot of organization and planning if they are to be prepared and served correctly.  That certainly doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t give it a try with hubby, but it does mean that you will want to create a game plan before you begin.

Deciding Who to Invite - One of the most difficult moments in every new marriage comes with deciding what should happen at the holidays.  Whose family should be visited and when?  How will the time be divided and who will be dined with?  Having a dinner in your own home can help to avoid some of those uncomfortable moments, but you will still need to formulate a guest list that will likely be based on the amount of space you have for entertaining, the existing plans of loved ones, and the distance between you and them.  Work together to draw up the best possible list as far in advance as you can, so you can give friends and family members ample time to re-arrange schedules.  Have a fussy family or a few “difficult family members”? Consider a seating chart…so draw upon who sat by whom at your wedding and got along and arrange your table accordingly.

Planning a Menu – The great part about Thanksgiving is that most of the meal is dependent on tradition.  Unfortunately, while  is the common denominator, many families will vary substantially in the rest of their menus.  But, with some work, you can make a meal that pulls a little something special from each family’s traditions and makes everyone feel comfortable, welcome, and ultimately, full. Also, think about asking each family invited to bring a favorite side or dessert.  This potluck concept lowers your workload and allows family members to feel included in the meal.

Shopping and Cooking - There is good reason that the Thanksgiving meal is consumed only once per year.  It often requires a huge number of ingredients, a lot of space for preparation, and a great deal of time to make it happen.  Fortunately, there are two of you and that means that tasks can be divided among you to make the whole event much more manageable.  Enjoy the shopping time together, getting excited about the impending meal and work together to divvy up the cooking.  When it comes time to create, turn on some music that you both enjoy.  Sing along, laugh together, and enjoy the special memories that are being made on your very first Thanksgiving. While one boils and mashes potatoes, another can be basting the turkey and chopping veggies for other dishes.  With two sets of hands, what might be a very chaotic experience can be very enjoyable.

Here’s to you and your first Thanksgiving as a newlywed!  Stay tuned to our newlywed blog for recipes and ideas to make your Thanksgiving AMAZING!

Being True to You After “I Do”: Maintaining Friendships

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

Newlywed FriendsFriendship is a wonderful thing that can get a person through some of the roughest points he or she faces in life.  Friends offer the shoulder to cry on, the tissue to dry the tears, and the invitation to fun activities that promote healing will, undoubtedly, hold great meaning for the rest of that person’s life.  Unfortunately, maintaining a new marriage can often strain friendships and challenge them in ways that no one could quite expect. There are many reasons that this happens and it is a natural occurrence.  For one thing, marriage changes the way that decisions are made.  It is no longer a matter of what ‘I would like to do’ but rather a decision of what ‘we would like to do’.  Furthermore, marriage often brings added responsibilities and a new group of people to spend time with.  This doesn’t mean that a friendship ends when the words ‘I do’ are said, but that the relationship will require effort.

Scheduling - Time as a newlywed, must be split between the marriage, old friends, new friends, and family.  Often the best way to maintain friendships with hurting your marriage is to schedule visits in advance.  Whether the activities will be done as couples or just you will be attending, it is important to discuss them with your spouse to prevent calendar conflicts such as you planning to attend a girls’ happy hour on Friday but he promised that you’d both be at his mother’s dinner party.  Newlyweds need to realize that there’s more than one person making plans!

Understanding How To Handle Change - As we grow up and get married, life changes happen.  Some of those changes in direction will be pre-planned decisions and others might be unexpected.  However, all can affect relationships, including those between you and your friends.  The choice to start a family, to move, or even to change jobs can have major impact on the time you have available to spend with friends and also how your perspective aligns with theirs’. Being aware that changes will happen can make it easier to address them and even prevent them from causing issues within your friendships.

The Need for Boundaries - Though friendships are undeniably important, when you say your vows, you promise to think of your spouse first.  Defining special times, places, and events that should be reserved for just the two of you is a good way to prevent hard feelings and big fights in the future.  These boundaries will actually make it easier to maintain the friendship and balance it with the new life you have started with your spouse.

How do you maintain your friendships as a newlywed?  Have you instituted a girls night in or Skype chats to stay connected? We’d love to hear your solutions and thoughts in a comment!