Posts Tagged ‘Happiness’

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Newlywed New Years Resolutions

Friday, January 4th, 2013

It’s 2013…a new year to be a newlywed!  While there’s great debate about whether anyone keeps the resolutions that they make, just the creation of a resolution can be helpful to a new marriage. If you haven’t made any resolutions with your spouse, here are a few resolutions that may be worth talking about:

1. Use Your Words - This is a cornerstone of my marriage.  We promise to use our words to tell each other how we’re feeling and what we need.  It keeps little things and annoyances from brewing into big things and arguments.  If you and your spouse could use a little more communication, consider resolving to “use your words” in 2013.

2. Make Time - Every newlywed couple I know is juggling careers, families, friends, hobbies and figuring out how married life works.  Making time once a week or twice a month to spend an entire day together without family, friends and cell phones will do wonders for your relationship.  By scheduling “couple time” your making sure that your marriage remains a priority amongst the million other things clamouring for your attention!

3. Do Something Positive - Whether you join an indoor soccer league or soup kitchen, doing something positive and new in 2013 is only going to benefit your marriage.  You’ll have new experiences to talk about during dinner (instead of re-hashing work drama) and a new network of friends to explore.   There’s also the great feeling of helping others or being part of a team to boost your mood.  If you’re unsure what new thing might work for you, check out www.charitynavigator.org, which helps people find the best charities in their cities.

Resolutions or not, 2013 is going to be a great year for you as a newlywed!  Do you have any resolutions that you made with your spouse?  I’d love for you to share them in a comment!

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Kahnoodle: A Relationship App for Newlyweds

Monday, November 12th, 2012

When you think of all of the time and effort you put into planning your wedding, it is kind of amazing that there isn’t much done to prep you for being a newlywed. Sure, you may have done some pre-marital counseling through your church or synagogue, but whats 3-5 hours versus the 12+ months of wedding planning?

Technology to the rescue!  Kahnoodle is a free newlywed app that allows you to communicate what you need from your partner and give him/her kudos for the kind things they do. There’s a calendar feature/reminder that will keep you both from falling into a rut and even a challenge to keep their “love tank” full.  I love that this app is fun and functional!

No one wants to sit down and write a list of what the want and with that their spouse would do for them…it’s tedious and can offend the other person.  However, communication is key to a happy marriage.  Using an app reminder to challenge both sides to step up their relationship game equals a fun way to keep your newlywed love on track.

Have you used Kahnoodle?  We’d love to hear how it’s helped your relationship and what your favorite feature is!

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Love Is Spoken Here

Thursday, October 18th, 2012

So browsing around on Pinterest I always run across great quotes. This is one of them: Love Is Spoken Here.  Every newlywed out there should hang this print near the entrance to their home as a reminder of how important love and loving words are.  So much time and energy goes into day to day living (hello 60 hour work weeks), that it can be easy to forget the simple things like saying “I love you”.

Even if you don’t decorate your home with this quote, place it towards the front of your brain. The next time you’re crabby it can keep you from lashing out at your spouse and might even motivate you to engage in some random acts of love.

p.s. feel free to check out my newlywed board on Pinterest!

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Get To Know Your In-Laws: 4 Tips You Need Now

Monday, June 18th, 2012

In Law RelationshipsOne of the most important and potentially tedious relationships you’re likely to have, is with your in-laws.  They’re not your parents, but now they’re family and very important to your spouse. Taking the time to get to know them as individuals (not just your in-laws) will help your relationship with them and your relationship with your partner for years to come.

Be Considerate
Everyone likes to be appreciated, so take your mother-in-law out to lunch for her birthday. Don’t forget a card and/or flowers on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. While technically your husband should keep up with his family and you should keep up with yours…you may end up responsible for all parents appreciation.  Better to be the one sending cards than letting your spouse forget and make both of you look bad! There are a number of creative ways you can show your respect, so take advantage of each one of those.


Think Outside the In-Law Part
Sure, they’re your partner’s parents, but you should think of them as your friends and/or mentors.  Try to get involved with something they enjoy (like gardening or golf).  Having a common interest will give you things to talk about during family dinners and holidays. The relationship you have will be an important part of your marriage, and a cue for how your spouse should treat your parents…so keep that in mind the next time you visit your in-laws.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

There are bound to be differences between you and your in-laws, but if you don’t keep an open mind, you may not really see them for who they are.  So maybe your mother in law has a few decorating opinions that aren’t in step with yours, just smile and try to understand her viewpoint.  You aren’t obligated to make any of the changes she suggests.  Listening will win you more points than arguing. Keep in mind that it takes some time to develop a relationship and understand each others boundaries.  Proper communication will help you build a lasting relationship.

Time Will Tell

Rome and relationships weren’t built in a day. Try to give things a bit of extra time to gel, particularly if your new spouse was very close to his family. The closer they are, the more threatened they may feel by your presence, so be sure to be respectful and friendly, but try to give your in-laws a bit of extra space too.  The relationship you build is essential to a happy marriage, so even if you don’t start off on the right foot, keep at it.

What tips do you think are the most important when adjusting to your new in-laws?  We’d love for you to share in a comment.

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A MissNowMrs Proposal Story!

Thursday, April 19th, 2012

MissNowMrs Proposal CoupleEveryone loves a creative proposal story….it warms your heart and makes you remember how special love is.  Now if that proposal story involves your business, that makes it even more special!  We have a great proposal story to share with you that involves a MissNowMrs name change gift card and the adorable couple in the photo!

So we were writing out MissNowMrs gift card messages earlier this week and I saw one that said “I would like you to be Mrs. Smith*.  Love, Grant”. This first thought that sprang into my mind was “Is this a proposal?!”.  So, we emailed Grant and he did indeed mail one of our gift cards to his girlfriend asking her to become his wife.

Can you imagine her curiosity as she found the blue swirly envelope we mail our cards in along with a stack of her regular mail, bills and catalogs?  I wish there was a hidden camera to record her reaction as she read Grant’s proposal and our gift card fell into her lap!

Kudos to Grant for such a sweet and creative way to ask the woman he loves to become his wife! We love when fiances send gift cards to their significant others to save them time and hassle on their transition from Miss to Mrs., but this is by far our favorite gift card gifting to date.

Do you know anyone that gave their fiance one of our cards?  We’d love to hear and share the story with our readers.  We’d also love to hear about your own proposal stories.

*Name has been changed to protect the couples’ privacy

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Your Holiday, My Holiday, Our Holiday?

Thursday, April 5th, 2012

Newlywed HolidaysPassover and Easter are right around the corner.  Do you know what your holiday plans are? Hopefully the answer is “yes”.  As a newlywed couple it’s really important to discuss the holiday, who you’ll see and what the expectations of each family are. Communication and prior planning are the best ways to avoid disappointing both families and your spouse.  Below are a few of the most common holiday scenarios and some suggestions to make them successful!

In-Law Holiday: Are you spending quality time with your in-laws this weekend?  There are a few things you can do to make the holiday go smoothly.  First, get the scoop from your spouse.  What does his family typically do (it helps to know if you’re expected to play flag football or croquette) and pack accordingly.  Also, email or call his mom to ask if you can bring something.  If she says no, be sure to bring a hostess gift of flowers or chocolates! You can also score family bonus points by bringing something for your new nieces and nephews.

The Holidays with Your Family: Preparing to spend time with your folks?  Talk to your spouse about what your family traditions are and ask what his favorite part of the holidays are.  You can ask your parents to add a favorite dish or activity to make him feel included.

Holidays at Both Family’s Houses: If you live close to both sets of your parents and they can be flexible on meal times, this may be the best way to begin your holidays together.  Brunch with your family and dinner with his gives you the best of both worlds and satisfies both families, but be aware that you may be setting the expectation that you’ll do double holidays for eternity!

Combined Family Holiday at Your House: Hosting a holiday as newlyweds is a great way for your families to get to know each other post-wedding.  Just be sure to talk to both sides and make sure that they’re okay with spending time as a group.  The first celebration will be the biggest adjustment for all of you (especially if you are a mixed religion couple), but if you can incorporate traditions from both sides and let both moms bring something for the meal you’re on the road to a successful event. Don’t forget to add a tradition or dish that is totally yours!

Just the Two of You: Too far away to spend Passover or Easter with your families?  Consider the weekend as a great way to spend time together as a couple and create a memorable holiday and possibly some traditions.  You could go out for a meal or make your own elaborate feast.   Making Easter baskets for each other can also be fun!

2 + Friends: Spending the holidays away from family and know a few other people who are too?  Host a holiday brunch and have each guest bring a component.  You’ll all bond over a meal and not feel like you missed out on the holiday hubbub that families share.  Feel free to be creative when planning your holiday event, I often host an Easterita (pastel colored margaritas) party in the evening for friends and neighbors to unwind after time spent with their families!

However you spend the coming weekend, be grateful that you have a loving spouse to share the holidays with.  We’d love to hear your plans in a comment!

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Unplug to Reconnect!

Thursday, March 8th, 2012

Newlywed WalksNow that you’re settling into the newlywed life, do you ever feel like you don’t have time to talk or connect with your spouse the way you did before you said “I do”?  Balancing jobs,  a new marriage, family obligations and all the other joys of life can make for a grueling schedule.  My suggestion to you?  Take an evening or weekend and unplug so you can reconnect. Turn off your phones & computers and sign off of all your online vices (from Facebook to shopping).  Having uninterrupted time together is precious.

So you’re unplugged and staring at each other…now what?  Take a walk through your neighborhood or a park and hold hands.  You can talk, or not.  Just being together is a good thing!  Do activities that you love to do, but never have time for.  Restaurant hop and have an appetizer at a few places, discover a museum or get a couples massage. Another option is to tackle a project that has been on your joint to-do list forever.  Need to paint the kitchen?  Go pick out paint colors and roll up your sleeves.  Completing a task together is rewarding and has been shown to strengthen relationship bonds.

As your unplugged time draws to a close, talk about what you liked about uninterrupted time together.  Did you both de-stress?  Learn something you didn’t know about your spouse?  Have mind-blowing sex?  You may realize that the time you spent together makes it easier for you to handle your spouse’s or your own work travel.  Whatever the positive outcomes were, make plans to unplug on a regular basis!

What do you do to unplug with your spouse?  Have you seen it benefit you relationship and marriage?  We’d love to hear about it in a comment!

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3 Small Steps to a Better Marriage

Monday, January 16th, 2012

Newlywed Love NoteHas your marriage hit an unexpected slump?  If so, now is not the time to give up. This is an opportunity to renew bonds and strengthen the relationship that led you down the aisle. All marriages hit rough patches. As people grow and change and meet different obstacles, new strains and stresses can be placed on a couple. While coping may be tough, these stressful times are what make your relationship stronger and help you get through even bigger challenges in years to come.

Actions Speak Louder than Words

When your relationship is feeling rocky, the first thing most women want to do is speak up about it, but that is not always the best thing to do. When tempers are already on a short leash because of earlier arguments, tension is high because of outside stresses, or communication has simply run dry, talking about it might add fuel to the fire.  Consider instead the ways that you can say what you feel without opening your mouth (it helps to envision how to communicate with a cave man).  Are you tired of fighting and just want your partner to know that you are willing to hold on? Then, perhaps the best way to say so is with an impromptu hug. Slow dancing, hand holding, rubbing shoulders, and other similar gestures have universal meaning and will very likely let  him know what you’re feeling.

Offer a Helping Hand

Perhaps one of the reasons that your spouse has been in a bad mood recently has more to do with outside pressures that it has to do with you. Perhaps he or she just needs a helping hand. Marriage is about team work, so show that you understand by helping with a small task, chore, or just offering some insightful advice when he or she is talking about problems at work. Taking the trash out might seem like a small thing…but it may mean a great deal to your stressed out spouse!  Knowing someone is in your corner can make any situation more bearable.

Create Love Tokens

Another great way to demonstrate your feelings without words is through small tokens. Handmade cards left in a place that he or she is sure to find them, lunch delivered to the office during the day, or even a message scribbled on the fogged over bathroom mirror are great wordless ways to show love and affection. Taking the time to make another person know that you are thinking about him or her is the best way to show how much you care. However, these ‘gifts’ tend to lose their meaning when only given after a fight. These are the things that should be done now and then and consistently throughout a relationship. They don’t have to be frequent and might occasionally be used to say sorry after an argument, but let them maintain their intended meaning. If you’re looking for a more tangible love token, we love these love stones at Red Envelope. They can be put in a coat pocket, desk drawer or even passed back and forth between you two.

Talk to us newlyweds.  What things have you done to boost your relationship during stressful times?  Did your spouse get the unspoken message you were trying to convey?  We’d love to hear from you in a comment!

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Newlywed New Years Resolutions

Monday, January 2nd, 2012

Newlywed New Years ResolutionsCan you believe it’s 2012?  It’s a totally new year to be a newlywed!  Whether this will mark your first full year as a married couple, or if you’ve been married for a few years, New Year’s resolutions can be great for you and your marriage.

While it’s easy to make huge promises for 2012 (like working out 7 days a week or climbing Mount Everest), I find  making one or two small resolutions much more easy to implement throughout the entire year. Stumped on what resolutions to make for you and/or your marriage this year?  Here are a few ideas to get you started…

Resolutions for Your Marriage:

Say one nice thing about your spouse every day.

Schedule a bi-weekly date night.

Surprise your hubby once a month (be it a home made dinner or naughty lingerie).

Try a new hobby out together.

Be the wife you always thought you be (patient, kind, giving, fun, etc.).

Say something positive before you say something negative about his work/family/friends.

Resolutions for You:

Reserve 30 minutes for “you” every day.

Try a new gym class or fitness craze (it’s a great way to meet new friends & zap holiday pounds).

Make a monthly girls night schedule with your friends.

Smile at people you don’t know.

Be nice to yourself (it sounds crazy, but not being so hard on yourself relieves tons of stress).

Save up, and buy yourself the fabulous shoes you’ve been coveting!

Hopefully these ideas will act as springboards for your own 2012 resolutions.  Did you make any newlywed resolutions you’d like to share with us? Leave a comment!

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Being True to You After “I Do”: Maintaining Friendships

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

Newlywed FriendsFriendship is a wonderful thing that can get a person through some of the roughest points he or she faces in life.  Friends offer the shoulder to cry on, the tissue to dry the tears, and the invitation to fun activities that promote healing will, undoubtedly, hold great meaning for the rest of that person’s life.  Unfortunately, maintaining a new marriage can often strain friendships and challenge them in ways that no one could quite expect. There are many reasons that this happens and it is a natural occurrence.  For one thing, marriage changes the way that decisions are made.  It is no longer a matter of what ‘I would like to do’ but rather a decision of what ‘we would like to do’.  Furthermore, marriage often brings added responsibilities and a new group of people to spend time with.  This doesn’t mean that a friendship ends when the words ‘I do’ are said, but that the relationship will require effort.

Scheduling - Time as a newlywed, must be split between the marriage, old friends, new friends, and family.  Often the best way to maintain friendships with hurting your marriage is to schedule visits in advance.  Whether the activities will be done as couples or just you will be attending, it is important to discuss them with your spouse to prevent calendar conflicts such as you planning to attend a girls’ happy hour on Friday but he promised that you’d both be at his mother’s dinner party.  Newlyweds need to realize that there’s more than one person making plans!

Understanding How To Handle Change - As we grow up and get married, life changes happen.  Some of those changes in direction will be pre-planned decisions and others might be unexpected.  However, all can affect relationships, including those between you and your friends.  The choice to start a family, to move, or even to change jobs can have major impact on the time you have available to spend with friends and also how your perspective aligns with theirs’. Being aware that changes will happen can make it easier to address them and even prevent them from causing issues within your friendships.

The Need for Boundaries - Though friendships are undeniably important, when you say your vows, you promise to think of your spouse first.  Defining special times, places, and events that should be reserved for just the two of you is a good way to prevent hard feelings and big fights in the future.  These boundaries will actually make it easier to maintain the friendship and balance it with the new life you have started with your spouse.

How do you maintain your friendships as a newlywed?  Have you instituted a girls night in or Skype chats to stay connected? We’d love to hear your solutions and thoughts in a comment!

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