We all know the odds are stacked against us newlyweds these days with the divorce rate through the roof (50% being 1 out of 2 marriages), so now more than ever couples need to keep the lines of communication open and honest. There are so many things that can ruin a marriage and nobody’s perfect! Try to stay away from the following bad habits and rest assured that the bond between you and your partner will continue to grow together rather than apart.
Bad Habit #1: Keeping Secrets. Whether it’s about finances, friends or your career; there’s no room for secrets in a marriage. I’m not talking about when your best friend says, “Swear you won’t tell anyone about…” I’m talking about hiding big purchases, not talking to your spouse about your feelings, etc.
Bad Habit #2: Disorganization. You may find that from time to time your home office looks like a bomb went off, but if your entire home is in disarray it may be time to do some serious housekeeping! Being disorganized will cause you both to feel anxious and out of control. It could cause you to miss due dates on important bills, adding unnecessary stress to you and your spouse; which will undoubtedly strain your relationship.
Bad Habit #3: Confiding in Relatives and Friends instead of your partner. One of the best parts of being married is always having someone to confide in and not having to worry about being judged for your opinions. You certainly would not appreciate finding out that your husband/wife confided in a parent, friend, co-worker or neighbor about something that he/she should have trusted you with. It hurts, don’t do it.
Bad Habit #4: Constant Criticism. It’s ok not to agree with each other all the time (you are allowed to be individuals with your own opinions); however nagging your spouse constantly about the little things that really do not matter in the scheme of life will result in a lot of fighting and negative feelings in your marriage.
Bad Habit #5: No Sex Life. Careers, children and other responsibilities and obligations are the cause of exhaustion—we all get it! Remember sex is one (major) key to a happy marriage and without it the two of you will be left feeling disconnected and will be more like roommates rather than husband and wife. Get out the lingerie and pretend like you’re dating again so you don’t become one of the 15-20% of couples in a sexless marriage (sex 10 or less times per year—yikes)! Watch this video (featuring Dr. David Schnarch, Sex Therapist) for advice on this topic, and to get a better understanding of just how many couples will experience this issue in their marriage.
Bad Habit #6: Forgetting the important words. Saying please and thank you have always been important words in my house, but saying I love you each and every day at least once is the most important. While actions may speak louder than words, reminding your partner that you love them is the utmost important thing you can ever say to them.
Can you add to our list of bad habits? Tell us another bad habit that you avoid and why. You never know whose marriage you could be saving just by sharing your thoughts!
So browsing around on Pinterest I always run across great quotes. This is one of them: Love Is Spoken Here. Every newlywed out there should hang this print near the entrance to their home as a reminder of how important love and loving words are. So much time and energy goes into day to day living (hello 60 hour work weeks), that it can be easy to forget the simple things like saying “I love you”.
