As a single woman you knew exactly how you thought of yourself and had your own standards of public behavior. Now that you’re a newlywed, you need to consider the best way to represent you and your spouse as a couple. The spectrum ranges from Mr. & Mrs. Perfectly Plastic to Mr. & Mrs. Public Tantrum Throwers. Frankly, I don’t believe that anyone wants to be either of those extremes. How your relationship functions in and out of the public eye is completely up to you and your partner. A little prior planning can help prevent a poor public image of you and your marriage.
Here are a few newlywed tips for you:
Make a dispute plan. If you are both at a party or out with friends and disagree on something, what should you do? Some couples can shelve the issue and discuss it privately at a later time. Others might need to excuse themselves to immediately work things out. Having a plan in place before a potential blow up can help you both keep your cool in public, but still deal with the problem at hand.
Accentuate the positive. You shouldn’t fabricate stories about your perfect newlywed life, but you also shouldn’t do a dissertation on how terrible your husband is about leaving the toilet seat up. You married the love of your life…so be proud of him and shine a positive light on him. Imagine how you would feel overhearing your spouse complimenting your cooking versus complaining that it took you 45 minutes to pick out your party outfit. Take the initiative and say something sincerely pleasant about your husband, whether or not it makes it back to him, your marriage will be better for it!
Manage expectations. If you’re a social butterfly and your partner is more of a lone wolf, you might have very different expectations for how to enjoy a party. Perhaps your husband would like you to introduce him to other guys at the party with similar personalities or he might just want to hang out with you as you mingle. Discussing what would make both of you happyand comfortable before going out, should result in a great time for everyone instead of a potentially awkward “we should go now” situation.
Have fun. You know your husband and he knows you, so use that intimate knowledge to do things that you both enjoy. If you have a girlfriend who wants to go to the ballet, why drag your poor husband? Take your friend to the performance and then come home and go out for cocktails or a movie with your man. This way you both win and there’s no need for a difference in likes or dislikes to cause chaos in your lives!
Navigating as a newlywed couple can take some getting used to. By following our tips and putting each other first, you should have a smooth transition and be known as “that great newlywed couple” instead of some less than desirable description.
Do you have any tips for maintaining your relationship in public and in private? We’d love for you to share them in a comment!