Obviously, we’re never going to get along with everyone that we cross paths with in life, but you hope to maintain and continue developing on certain relationships with those who have always been close to you! So, what do you do when one of your close girlfriends has fallen in love with someone whose presence annoys you and everyone else around you, and you find his company and conversations to be anything but enjoyable!? Whether or not you have been personally faced with this issue, you most likely know someone who has. So a friend has been dating this guy for quite some time now, and you just know the ring is on its way! Often times, between the girlfriends, we will commiserate (gossip) together and play rock, paper, scissors, to see who is going to step forward, and express our concern to our friend. This is an extremely fine line, as you could either end up helping her see your perspective and understand your worry, or you could end up losing a friend! I would believe the latter of the two happens more frequently than not, so you both or all end up losing in the end. I can see both sides of the situation, you want to support your friend and be there for her no matter what, but on the other hand, you want to ‘save’ her from what you believe to be an escalating bad situation. After explaining this scenario to a neutral party, I believe I have heard the best advice yet, so I wanted to share it with you, and also find out your opinion. The next time you hear of this situation or you find yourself in it, put your own feelings aside and think about your friend’s feelings, by asking yourself these two questions:
1. Does she love this man and does he love her?
(Although you may find him to be personally annoying, do they seem to treat each other right, i.e. respect one another’s needs and wants in their relationship).
2. Are they truly happy together?
(Does your friend constantly have a smile on her face when they’re together and does she speak positively about him and their relationship)? This is where you will find your answer!
Have you found yourself in this situation? Please share your advice with us, tell us how you reacted, and what was the outcome!