There are all sorts of hang ups and stigmas that can appear once you’re married and sharing a kitchen. There are the sexist concepts from long ago, such as a woman’s place is in the kitchen or barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen depending on who you’re speaking with. There is also what you consider normal kitchen roles based on both of your childhood observations of parents. Add busy work schedules into the mix and you could be headed into kitchen chaos.
My newlywed kitchen meltdown was 100% my own creation. My husband walked in the door on a Friday night to find me face down, crying on the carpet. After pulling a 60 hour work week I was frustrated that the roasted chicken wasn’t going to be ready the moment he came home from work. He calmly took me out for Chinese and got to the root of the problem: I was trying to be my mom. She is an amazing cook and always had a gourmet dinner on the table at 5:15pm. The fact I overlooked was that she was a stay at home mom and had more time to prepare family meals.
Newlyweds, learn from my mistake. Discuss which of you can actually cook (take out on plates does not count) and decide what the other spouse can do to help. If you both cook, it may be easiest to alternate nights instead of collaborating. My mother’s marinara recipe versus your Nonna’s can be one ugly argument.
Whatever kitchen formula you come up with, just make sure that it is fair to both partners and results in a meal that allows you to enjoy each other’s company and reconnect after your day.