Hopefully wedding planning and newlywed life has improved your relationship with your mother as you now share even more life events in common. Newlywed life has also provided you with another mother to honor on Mother’s Day, your Mother-In-Law. Below are a few tips for incorporating your Mother-in-Law into the holiday.
To avoid any disappointment on either side of the family, it is wise to chat with your spouse about their traditions for Mother’s Day. Some families may simply send a card, while others plan elaborate weekends together. Understanding expectations before the holiday will help you plan a way to make both moms happy and prevent hard feelings between families.
For your first married Mother’s Day, it may be easier to celebrate separately. This is especially helpful if your mother’s live in different states. If both of you plan to spend time with both of your moms, you’ll need to schedule times in advance or see if both mothers would want to celebrate together.
This may sound like a great deal of planning for a single day, but happy in-law relationships can only help your marriage. If you’re planning a family in the future, it will also lay the ground work for your mothers to be flexible when it is your first Mother’s Day.
How are you spending Mother’s Day as a newlywed? Did you have to juggle family traditions or are you celebrating your own first Mother’s Day? We’d love to hear from you in a comment.
Mother In Law
Looking for name change advice or some tips for newlywed life? The MissNowMrs experts have created state-specific name change articles and checklists for you. We’ve chronicled our recommendations for how to travel while changing your name AND how to handle voting during the transition.
We’ve also compiled our best guidance for how to handle difficult sister in laws, holidays as newlyweds, the ever-annoying baby questions, and much more. Why? Because, while we are name change experts, we’re also newlywed wives, moms, and sisters.
We hope our name change advice articles help smooth your transition to your new name, and a whole new phase of life. Congratulations and best wishes from the entire MissNowMrs team!
Some of you may be still getting used to your new title as a “wife”, and of course with this title comes a few additional responsibilities… some of which you may not have thought of pre-wedding!? You’re married now; which means that you now have another family to be a part of and share your life with! I see this as a blessing, but don’t get me wrong there can also come a few obstacles with your new role in your spouse’s family. First off, the biggest obstacle (or some may refer to as a battle) is establishing a relationship with… (you guessed it!) your M.I.L., also known as your Mother-In-Law. Establishing and developing this relationship can be a breeze for some of you, and conversation and friendship may be of second nature! For others, the relationship can be walking a fine line!
If your spouse has always held a close friendship or bond with his mother, you may find yourself wanting to take over the reins as the new ‘woman’ in his life, however; it is important to know your role and she will learn to know hers as well. You are his wife now, but his mother is… still his mother! Don’t get me wrong, that still doesn’t mean that it’s OK for her to call him every day just to “talk”! If your spouse has always been sort-of-a “momma’s boy” placing distance between the two of them is not going to happen overnight, but it will naturally diminish over time.
The key here is, as it is for most things in married life, communication, and equally important, knowing when to bite your tongue! As long as you and your spouse understand each others’ point-of-view (your feelings and your opinions–because you’re entitled to them), and you also make an effort to understand and respect where your MIL is coming from, the roles in this tri-pod relationship should be comfortable and non-threatening! Take the first step to open up the lines of communication if you are finding yourself in an awkward situation with your MIL, and show her you want to be her friend more than anything- that will work out in your favor in more ways than one! At the same time, if you are feeling that some boundaries need to be set, talk about this with your spouse so that you don’t hit your boiling point! As much as you are trying to be #1, and be the best wife possible; know that he already sees you that way…and his mother knows this too. There are always going to be disagreements in marriage and throughout life in general, and you won’t always see eye-to-eye, especially with family members! Be confident in who you are, and show your spouse’s family the fabulous woman that you are!
And remember this, kindness and mutual respect will go a long way!