Can you tell by the way a newlywed couple communicates during an argument whether or not their marriage will last? According to a study conducted by UW psychology Professor John Gottman and Research Scientist Sybil Carrere the answer is YES. Their 6-year long study published in the fall journal of the Family Process in 1999 indicates that it’s possible to predict which newlywed couples will divorce from the way the partners interact in the first 3 minutes of discussing a disagreement in their marriage. They interviewed 124 couples (married less than 9 months) and 17 couples ended up divorcing by the end of the study. They found overall, “women need to learn how to soften their approach when they bring up a problem, while men have to learn how to be more accepting of what she’s saying.” (Source: seattlepi.com). According to USA Today, people are at risk of divorce throughout their marriage; however the U.S. Census Bureau 2004 found that the highest rate of divorce is between 5-10 years of marriage (8 years is the median).
Top Causes of Divorce (Source: Americans for Divorce Reform)
A lack of commitment to the marriage
A dramatic change in priorities
Failed expectations or unmet needs
Addictions and substance abuse
Physical, sexual or emotional abuse
Lack of conflict resolution skills
Avoid Divorce by:
Getting Help. Sometimes you cannot talk to each other effectively because you are arguing too much. Seeking therapy or the assistance of a trusted pastor, family member or friend can help save your marriage.
Look in the Mirror. Not literally, but spend some time really thinking about what you may do to contribute to the issues in your marriage. Nobody’s perfect and we can all stand to make a few changes to become better people.
Love, Admire & Respect. Always show each other (through actions and words) that you love, admire and respect one another …it will go a long way. Putting forth the effort to spend some quality time together will also help keep a strong bond between you and your spouse.
So if you’re anything like me, right now you’re wondering what your chances of getting divorced are, right? Use the Divorce360.com Calculator to find out and share your thoughts on this heavy topic with us!