Your Newlywed Guide To Dividing Up Household Responsibilities

Newlywed Chore DisputeMany couples struggle when it comes to the division of household chores. If you were living together before you got married, it may be an easier process. But what if the two very different households merged, and the two members of the new family need to decide who does what without making the process too lengthy and too painful?  There are ways to divide the responsibilities without over-complicating the process.

First – figure out which chores you hate. If you are a “neat-freak,” and your spouse can never be pictured holding a duster, you’re probably going to want to remain responsible for dusting and cleaning. This does not mean your partner should be completely excluded from this chore – perhaps vacuuming the carpet and furniture may seem like an exciting activity to do once in a while! Note that wherever machinery is involved, your husband may be more eager to participate in the task. So if, while you love the smell of freshly cut grass, you can hardly maneuver the loan mower – let your spouse do it!

Obviously, when dividing the responsibilities, it is important to realize that job responsibilities need to come first. After a hard day at work, your partner may be exhausted, and trying to come home and handle a week’s worth of laundry on a Tuesday evening just isn’t a good idea. Sound like your house? Try to be more understanding. Perhaps it’s time to divide things a bit differently. Maybe once a month you can handle the laundry instead. The best idea?  Make a list and stick to it. Revise the list after the week passes, addressing the items that have not been taking care of and what may be behind that problem.

What if you married someone affected by the rare condition domestic-itis? You know…the refusal to participate in chores of any kind? Depending on the cultural background and the household your spouse grew up in, your best efforts at persuasion might not work. Don’t waste your time with an argument. Simply let your spouse know that you’ll be taking part of the budget to hire an individual who will help out around the house. That will either change the picture entirely or get you the help you need right away!

3 thoughts on “Your Newlywed Guide To Dividing Up Household Responsibilities

  1. T.Valletta

    I really enjoyed reading this article. I couldn’t help but think it was written for my fiance’ and I. I have to say, my fiance’ is pretty good about helping around the house. The only thing that is a ” no can do” for him, is the bathroom. I think of it this way, as long as he is willing to do the dishes, dust, ect. I’ll clean the toilet anyday!

    Thanks for the good read! :)

  2. Darya

    I’m definitely the one with neat-freak tendencies and my fiance doesn’t even see mess. I think hiring a cleaning service would be a life-saver!

  3. Keil

    It may sound anti-feminist but I used the “but your stronger” arguement. Now my hubby does the floors (vacuum, mopping with the Hoover floor mate and the hard-wood floor cleaning). Plus, each of these gets a new gadget for him to explore. I do the bathrooms (because I want them clean clean clean). He does the cooking (his hobby) and does the heavy cleaning while I do the dishes. I do the laundry and he does the yard work. We split the dusting – he gets the high areas, I get the low areas. We came to this agreement because I told him we need to split up the chores in order to have more time together doing the things we enjoy. So we both get up early Saturday morning, knock it out, and then have the rest of the weekend to play!


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