When Your Sister-In-Law is a Jealous #$%^*

Sister in Law from HellIf you were expecting a new shopping and spa buddy,  it may seem strange that your sister-in-law would be jealous of you and your spouse, but it’s surprisingly common.  The issue may arise because she sees you as a potential threat to her bond with her brother.  She’s had them for so many years either as a big sibling to look up to or a loveable little brother, but now you’re in the picture, permanently.  Sometimes a sister-in-law will view this as her sibling being taken away from her.  Now you get them all to yourself and she gets less time to be with them.

Even though you know this isn’t true, you may find yourself stuck with a rude and downright mean sister-in-law.  The troubling part is that while you may get hit with the brunt of her crappy attitude, your spouse may never see any of it.  This may lead to many frustrating discussions in which you try to tell your partner about her bad behavior, only to be told it’s nonsense and the sister-in-law is not the person you are making her out to be.

Her behavior can vary.  She may completely ignore you when you are talking or she may say rude things and, in general, be very negative.  Whatever her attitude, it’s important that you not react to it.  Remember – she is the one with the problem.  Not you.  There’s no reason to let her anger and issues get to you.  Instead, you can kill her with kindness.  People often don’t know what to do when they are mean and instead of seeing a frustrated response, get a smile and a pleasant comment.  If she sees you as easily angered or flustered, then she will realize she has control.  Your sister-in-law should not have control over you.  You married your spouse because you loved them – anything she says should not be able to change that.

You should plan to take back control (if necessary) by ignoring your sister-in-law at the right times and being polite the rest of the time.  She will soon realize that everything negative that she does has no effect on you.  This may result in her attempting to amp up her rudeness, but in doing so out of frustration, it may betray her to your spouse, thus bringing the whole issue into the light and shutting down the problem completely.  Or she may discover that you aren’t there to steal away her beloved brother and that you are a good person and she is in the wrong.

It can be frustrating and annoying, but by sticking to your guns when your sister-in-law comes around, you should be able to disarm the situation and eventually become friends with her.

Have any juicy sister-in-law stories?!  We’d love to hear just how catty your sister-in-law was/is and what you did to fix the situation….so please leave a comment.

49 thoughts on “When Your Sister-In-Law is a Jealous #$%^*

  1. lori

    I hate my sister in law. She is a cold hearted, gold digging, narcissist. If i could get rid of her, I would. I dream of their divorce. SHe is evil and selfish to the core. She doesnt even love my brother, which is so painful to witness. She nags, she shops, she loafs, she refuses to be with him, or anyone else. She is a loner. the buzz kill, the nag! everyone in my family hates her. we pray for the day she flies away and never returns. unfortunately, my brother just takes it. i think she has brain washed him. i couldnt dislike a person more than her. Please, someone tell me the best way to split them up. that is my prayer!!

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  2. Kay

    At the time My Sister in law came to visit on Feb 2010 I was at the lowest low in my entire life. I had gone through HELL for over a solid month with My husband in the Hospital from 2 strokes and a gall bladder surgery and was running on empty emotionally and physically. My Sister in Law’s visit was hell for me! She was so inappropriate with her behavior. She had no right to pry into our financial history (looking through our taxes/ in the guise of helping with the FASFA) I did the FASFA myself and realized going through our taxes was totally unnecessary. She even had the nerve to ask me personal financial questions that were none of her business!

    She had nothing nice to say to me her entire visit. She had the callousness to actually bring up an old girlfriend of My husband’s that he hadn’t seen in over 40 years (this was said to me right after my Mom left). How is this behavior supportive during a time like this????? Then she made a comment as she picked up aVictoria secret catalog looked at me and said “these are for My Husband”, This was also very inappropriate and plain old mean/demeaning towards me. What was the purpose of that statement??? It was obviously meant to hurt me!

    The last things she said to me before she left for the airport was “Your Screwed!” How mean and cruel and unsupportive can a person be? I find her behavior to be absolutely unacceptable and Do Not want her to return to visit us again. I will not be treated like that by her ever again. She is not welcome here! I cannot even fathom as to what “help” she thought she could be to us with all of her negative actions and statements. That is not love or support for us as a family. She is just plain Mean and jealous and I have enough of her sick behavior! A Social Worker visited us shortly after her visit and I told about my Sister In Law’s behavior and she said that she is “toxic and I should not allow her to return for the sake and sanity of this family!” I AGREE. Her actions and inappropriate behavior towards me at a time like this hurt My Husband and I, and don’t want to subject our family to her negative behavior again.

    My Husband agrees we do not want her around! I am still hurting from her cruel and inappropriate words and want to limit any contact with her from now on!

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  3. Erin

    Boy do I have juice!! My future SIL is a manipulative, cunning person (for lack of a better word). Since the beginning she has slowly showed me her true colors, at times doing it bluntly. Her and her sisters are very cliquey but the others are nicer to me than she is. I’ve made it a priority to be civil and nice to them, but not give in to any games or gossip that they create (there’s a lot of that). She once took me into a separate room away from my FI and unleashed a heap load of s$&@ on me. Everything from- I’ve stolen her bro from her, I’m so distant from her, what are my true opinions about the family gossip, why don’t I tell her my family business, and that true love does NOT last forever. She had been drinking a bit but I think the truth comes out. And instead of aPologizing for her behavior she got defensive with me afterwards and accused me of being a tattletale to her brother when i told him what happened. There’s been times when me and him dance and she will pull him away. She would make comments about how he belongs to her, she had him first, etc. she sometimes comments on how skinny I am and she can never be like me which clearly shows me she’s a bit jealous. She is constantly wanting to upstage people and think everything she does is great and all her opinions are right. She will say something and ask everyone in a pressing way “am I right? Don’t you agree? I’m right, right?” she always asked when I’m finally having a child (meanwhile we had been together for 2 years). Someone else asked and she responded for me and said “oh I don’t even ask that anymore, I know she doesn’t want kids because she doesn’t want to ruin her pretty little body”. This b$8$)@ has 4 kids and is 31. I feel like since she started real young having children, she sees how I live my life for me and we are close in age, that this bOthers her. She even went as far as saying “you know my friend waited a very long time to have kids and her daughter has down syndrome” like throwing that in my face. When I talk she ignores me, and when she talks now, she talks through her brother. This is a classic example of how we must live our lives through ourselves and not base it on a comPetition with someone else or try to make someone feel like they’re doing sOmething wrong or don’t matter because you will get nowhere!!

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  4. Sharon

    My sister-in-law is a miserable person. She is 29 and pregnant with her 6th child. Not to mention she is an alcoholic. I have have known my husband for over 20 years and met her when I needed to find someone who could braid my daughters hair. He was in an un-happy marriage and his wife had some issues about me being his friend. His sister told his wife that I worked at the phone company and she tried to get me fired by lying and saying I was looking at her phone account. This was a lie because had I done that I would’ve been fired. Then he finally divorced his ex-wife and we hooked up years later. Once we finally got married, his sister gave the ex-wife his new cell phone number. Now she constantly calls my husband and tells him that her boyfriend beats her up but we live 500 miles away and then he found out that she is lying that he doesnt hit her. When we come to visit, she is always nice to me and always acts like she is my friend but once we go back home, she gets on the phone and causes trouble. I always send her children gifts and I always embrace them when we visit but she is making it hard for me. She over heard my husband and I talking about a family issue that he brought to me and she called him and told him that I have no place in the family to give my opinion even though her boyfriend does. I have tried to call her and speak with her but she just hangs up. So finally I left her a message and told her that I will always love her but I am not her brothers little girlfriend or side-line thing and I will no longer allow her to disrespect me. I also went on to say that if my husband feels the need to talk to me about issues he is having, it is my job as a wife to listen to him and I am allowed to comment to him my feelings considering he involved me. After that, she began to call his mother telling her that I am leaving rude messages to her and making her upset and making her pregnancy hard for her. She calls my husband and tells him that I am breaking up the family and also keeps telling him that once she has her baby she will deal with me. I tell my husband that he needs to let her know that she is going to far and to quit disrespcting his family that he has begun but he refuses to saying that she is just being silly but I don’t want to feel uncomfortable when I see her and most of all I dont want to feel like I cant see her kids or do for them because I really love them. I am not sure what to do but I feel like I crossed a line by standing up for myself and I refuse to back down now because I am just tired of her disrespect.

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  5. R Bx

    My sister in law has bullied me for 21 years, enough was enough so I told her, now I am the bad one for telling her!!! so it was be bullied or now be left out of the family, my husband and I are not invited to any social gatherings that she goes to!!! can’t win………she is a very nasty piece of work and a control freak the family are scared of upsetting her and I was far to pleasant and soft for 21 years………

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  6. Heather

    I don’t have a sister in law, my problem is the AUNT in law. She is so obsessed with my husband it’s sickening. She’s constantly talking about how she loves her sweet and handsome nephew. Even made the comment that she wishes she were younger and of no relation to him so she could scoop him up…. Ew! Since my husband and I started dating I felt that I have had to bend over backwards for her approval, yet she still doesn’t like me. On our wedding day she tried everything possible to leave me out, especially out of pictures! It was my wedding!! How are you going to leave a bride out of her own wedding? Of course it didn’t stop there, To this day she makes a point to leave me out whenever possible. I’ve come to the point that I’m almost happy about it. The less I have to endure her, the better off I am. I truly liked her until she started being mean. She’s pushed me to not even want to be close to her anymore. It’s sad, but that’s just the way it is.

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  8. MissMass

    My SIL is a psycho! Extremely jealous of me and what I have. She tried to ruin my wedding, and now that I’m pregnant with the first grandchild she is a raging &$@-!. Around my wedding she invited my other SIL’s who were in my wedding to get their hair and nails done, without consulting me. When my MIL brought this up I told her that we would all be going together and (the little twit) was invited too. My husband’s side of the family wanted me to be hush hush, which is not my style. They always brush her bull**** under the carpet in order to “keep the peace”. So then she flipped and sent my husband harassing text messages. I uninvited her to our wedding-yup! Screw her!

    So everyone wants to treat her like she walks on water and that this is acceptable behavior! Months pass and I just keep my mouth shut. So a few days ago I found out that she wrote something about me on Facebook (something I wish was never invented). So I went all out posting the funniest statuses about her. I had just had enough, and wanted everyone to know that, and facebook is the fastest way to get the word out. So I tried to call her the next day, no answer because all she does is hide behind a keyboard! So I text her telling her that she can’t even pickup the phone to resolve an issue and hides behind a keyboard. (I also told her she looks like an ape and sent her a monkey icon-hahha). Then she proceeds to tell me she will get a restraining order on me! Hahahah- just had to laugh at that one. I told her I would do the same as I have all of her harassing texts from our wedding.

    The sooner you put them their place the sooner everyone will STFU! Lol

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  9. Ari

    My sister in law ignores me,and is just a downright bitch lol she complains about everything and she’s extremely annoying. Example,today I was looking at a magazine and seen a shirt I liked and wanted to get it,so me and my mother-in-law go and I see the brand the top was,my sister in law sees it,runs,grabs the shirt I wanted and pays for it. I buy on for myself too,she gave me big attitude because I “copied” her and she just ignored me the whole night. To top it off,my mother in law told me to let her wear the top first and to not wear it on the same day. WTF! I could careless if we have the same top,she’s just an immature girl.

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  10. cindy

    my sister in law is jealous of us having a house.she messed with our refrigerater and turn the freezer and refrigerater dow n to zero.even though no one saw her do it i know my mother in law wouldn’t do it so it had to be my sister in law.one time when we lived in the apartment we told we are getting a house and when she went outside for something she slammed the door.use to she use to help cleanup the toys cause she will her kids over so her kids and my kids can play together.but now we have this house she just leaves the mess for me to cleanup.She jealous of my and my husband having boy too.She use to have a house but lost it cause they couldn’t afford it.I worked hard and waited a very long time to get this house and she does this.when she comes over wednesday we have watch her like a hawk to make sure she does’t mess with it again and make sure she doesn’t do anything else either.If she keeps this up this time she will never come back again.

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  11. Graceful and Suffering

    Sigh…have tried for many years, almost 2 decades, always forgiving and looking to see what I could do better. My husband has a twin sister but insists they are not close and yet she has a huge influence on him. With most of our families being gone, I have hung there cutting comments, hurtful email, texts, hostility, alcoholism, criticism, her ex husband’s rage, alcohol, judgement of my mother, wanting my husband to step in as father when he had a newborn and resenting his new family life. Minimizing what turned out to be high functioning Autism in our son, telling her kids we did not want them even though we always took them places before our children, surprised them, gifts, time, included in our wedding limo and they tell us they remember.

    My SIS got caught up in online dating with a fake person whom she gave money and was in love and I figured it out as a scam despite her giving big money and she never even said thankyou for stopping the runaway train, then got married in a whim months later. divorced within a month and judged us because we have strain with a special needs child. I forgive because we are called to and I am not perfect in any way.

    My kids had no clue they had an aunt and it broke my husband’s heart so I invited out after a True older loving aunt passed away and she said she wanted to be a real aunt. I was nervous because home is a safe place but I thought it would be nice for my daughter at her dance and for Father’s Day. It was also a big birthday for me and I am having surgery and in physical therapy for torn ribs and shoulder so I am limited.

    Upon arrival, which she did rent a car due to conflict in the schedule (we would have picked her up other than the recital) she forgot her toothbrush, bathing suit and while I had prepped her room, paid a college student to help us move boxes ( we just moved) and fresh linens and towels, soaps, foods etc) she would go outside to chat on her phone whenever we brought in groceries, or had to do dishes, took naps during baking with the kids and complained about my fan in 100 weather while I was in hot kitchen..She did not lift a finger or help, asked me to change her toilet paper roll 4 times and then complained to my husband..I was wiped out and it caused my children to be confused…..My husband gets lost in it..she questions everything and sets things up, asking to do things I am not comfortable and in the end, it was tense. They took a walk during peak rattlesnake hour and she is not experience and left for 2 hours and it was the night before my birthday…We had two celebrations for father’s day and I love doing that but they left and did not include, invite or tell me where they were with my young children. I finally saw my son and asked him to bring dad in for a second as a bee ( I am allergic was in the house and I needed help and my husband heard me and hopped on mower…trust me, it felt awful from all directions..My kids who are typically very well behaved, were not coming in at dark and the aunt was not answering her phone that she could not put away all during the visit but it was ringing off the hook. I was hurt, in pain and needed garbage bags and decided to take a drive..called my own family and prayed…came back and my husband who is typically wonderful, was loud and argumentative and the next day, nothing for my birthday…I tiptoed around and we worked around her flight and she criticized my daughter and asked if she had an off button, because my husband gets names mixed up, asked if he calls me her name in the bedroom and discussed my son’s issues in front of him..not all at once. She left me a gift for my birthday ..with a mixed message quote and I wrote an immediate thank you and no reply..After 3 failed marriages, bankruptcy, addicted kids she kicked out, borrowing their trust money to give to online love affair and chronic criticism if I make one misstep, I am done. My husband and I are human and while we are close, this and my aging mother are the main strain in our relationship…I did not have cross words with her nor make faces and thought we would just politely leave it be but once again…she popped in and blew out and my kids are wondering why they have not heard from their aunt..My husband said he is done with her but I know blood is thick…my friends refer to it like Theresa on Bravo but I have no time to watch that..I am flawed. human but strive in my marriage, family and love to entertain but this was really the last straw..

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  12. Tie

    Word of advice…confront these demonic people. If they don’t like it then oh well!!!! Your there for your love one not for “IT” who needs their approval?! They wanna destroy what u have so they pick on u..why???! Because they know they can. They love how u get frustrated over the litte stuff they do to u. They then start playing mind games with u. And they are winning everytime u get annoyed or frustrated. I say ignore it and if it gets too far punch them in da face show who is really boss ;)

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  13. Ltristan

    My sister in law can be nice to me, but I feel like sometimes she’s being fake. She’s my husbands older sister. My husband told me that she never liked me until I moved in with him but I feel like nothing’s changed. She decided to throw my babyshower and I agreed with that, she said to just let her know what I wanted and how I wanted it and she would do it. I decided I wanted outside and through this fit that it wasn’t a good idea and so on. She got extremely pissed off because my husband and I started to but things for the babyshower(it was two weeks before the babyshower and she had not bought anything). But it went on with my babyshower being ruined because of her. I now have my baby and all she did was point out what I did wrong with him. She thought that only her arms would soothe him(which was a lie) she would try to bathe, diaper change him as much as she could and she made me feel like I wasn’t able to do any of those things. I than told her that if I was available I would be doing all of those things. She took it the wrong way and went on how I was taking her family away from her!! Now she barely holds him and she gets mad when my husband and I go out everywhere because she texts him asking him where he’s at. I don’t how she’s going to react when she finds out that we are going to move out soon. She can annoy me sometime but I feel that we will get along once we move out.

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  14. LittleMissSunshyne

    To Tie (see above): if only life was that easy to punch people in the face, I would! In California they call that assault and battery.

    My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 6 years. For the most part, I believe myself to be a good person, down to earth and really caring. I remember his sister from the beginning of time and I’ve always felt that she –didn’t like me–. I’m not sure for whatever reason but I’ve always have been nice to her to the point that I try to gain her approval. For years its been ups and downs and little irritable comments. I would only disclose to my boyfriend that she can be a B!7(# or very rude at times. But over the years, I put up with it just to be civil and to be more in harmony with my bf’s family.

    Fast foward 5 years, I’ve come to realize that she doesn’t take criticism very well, even if it is for her own good. Issues of always comparing herself to me, (I see the way she looks at me, or how she tries to top me) but it just doesnt happen because she’s on the heavy set. Aside from that, it’s another girl in her life that she must encounter in her “space/home”.

    During this summer, she was explaining a story to her co-workers but the way she was explaining it, they thought she was being hyper. (She just talks very loud and a nicer way to say it, whining). Afterwards they must have gotten annoyed but they told her “Are u done being hyper?!” And she wasn’t too happy when she told me this story. I wanted to tell her, ” well, sometimes when u talk u can be a little overreactant.” But failed not to do so because i know she would get hella pissed off.

    I know they’re many occurrences I would have wanted to tell her how it is but I know she would totally shun me or take it to heart.

    I live in cohabitation with my boyfriend and his family for 3 years and I am very grateful for them allowing me to stay at their house. Recently during the summer, I get in a fight with my boyfriend’s sister because she found a note that I wrote saying that she is “f~€{!=• rude” but it was only meant for my bf to see. She finds it on accident and this whole issue has blown up. I’ve apologized profusely but this chick wont settle just to be civil and keep peace in the house. On top of everything she tries to make the situation like her parents are choosing me and my bf over their –beloved, sweet, angel of a daughter.”

    She is very manipulating, buys her parents off with money, disrespects my stuff like keying my car and throwing my shoes all over the place. You have to keep in mind that this is stuff I’ve seen, I’m sure theres more she does behind my back.
    When I think about her, cannot take criticism at all, she’s unable to be an effective communicator, is pyscho and acts like a little baby crying over spilt milk.

    To top it off, she told everyone that I’m violent because I stepped in front of her face because she called me “dumb”. She’s dumb, she didn’t even graduate from her college and got spoon feed all her life. What a baby brat! has the audacity to think shes right when she cannot even admit her wrongs.

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  15. kim

    I really need help on how to handle a very evil sister in-law. We use to be close then after my father died I started to seeing what kind of person she really was. She always is putting someone down especially the other sister in law who she hates from the beginning. She has caused problems for me by calling my husband to complain that I have done something wrong. The latest telling my husbands brother that she wanted her parents to disinherit my husband because she hates me. The only reason she hates me is because I stopped letting her control me. She is the type of person that has to be in control. She is causing a lot of hurt in the family. I blame her parents for not being harder on her when their children started getting married. They have just enabled her and so did my husband for a long time before I said he needed to stop enabling her as well. I think she is really upset that he won’t listen to her complain about me anymore. Please help I need advice terribly. She is trying to break up our marriage.

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  16. Amy

    My sister in law is always moody. Sometimes – like 2x a year- she’s nice to me. Other times she ignores me and pretends like I’m not there. She loves to be the center of attention and kind of throws a fit when shes not. She also makes her other brothers- my husband pay attention to only her when we all at a family gathering. I have known my husband for years and we have been together for about 6. I don’t understand why she’s so moody all the time. She so nice to her friends however when it comes to when I’m around I feel like she’s always a bitch. When she’s nice I’m like omg she’s turning around but then the next time I see her I’m like oh well never mind! I have tried to be friends with her but she wants nothing to do with me. My husband said she’s always moody to her family too and “that’s just who she is. ” I have been waiting for her to grow up but when I was her age I was never this much of a bitch. help! What do I do??

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  17. Crystal

    My sister in law is really wired, she talks to me how ever she wants.
    She yells at me in front of people and she simply has no manners at all.
    She normally does it when my husband is not around.
    Recently she did it in front of him and he told her about it and she got up set because
    she thinks he should not tell her anything cause she us his sister, anyways since he spoke to
    her about her behavior she has stop speaking to him and myself .
    I do not what she told her parents but they aren’t speaking to me as well but only me they aren’t speaking too ( they are speaking to him, but they weren’t at first).
    And they are fully aware of how she treats me cause she does it around her mother all the time.

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  18. Shelley

    My SIL has some weird obsession with my husband (her older brother). We have been married for 13 years and have 11 year old twins. We have a wonderful marriage and couldn’t be happier with our lives. My SIL has a failed marriage, picks the loser boyfriends and has no children. She says rude things to me at the dinner table with family and friends present. SIL also has high expectations of my husband and pouts when he doesn’t dote on her. She also complains to family and friends how mean her brother is to her. Good thing my husband see’s it and is sick of it!

    My thoughts are she is jealous of what we have and her father was never a very caring man. Sometimes I can’t tell if she wants my husband to treat her as a father or husband. Probably both!

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  19. Manda

    I thought I was the only one! My SIL is 31, married (to a man much older), has 2 young children (she refuses to discipline), doesn’t work or drive. Her only friends are her mom and her brother, my fiancé. She doesn’t like me, she pretends but I’ve heard she makes fun of me behind my back. At first it was because I had a smart phone I would constantly check but now she has one and does the same thing… She goes out of her way to leave me out of things but makes sure her brother can be there. It’s ridiculous. Glad to know I’m not alone.

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  20. courtney

    “Leaving and cleaving” involves realignment emotionally.
    I have had two sister in laws very jealous of me, and I simply do NOT react “on their level”.
    With one of them, I will not see her alone…always with my husband present but more often in the context of extended families.

    The other one is through marriage. I like this one, but I have found that if I mention anything that has to do with money, future plans, it causes the envy to rise, which comes back to bite, and she herself is affluent, so I realize in some ways not to share too much.

    The best way to handle someone jealous of you, again, is not to a. return “evil” (or sniping), not to talk about them behind their backs with other family members, not to share too many personal things, and also not to deliberately goad them by bringing up triggers one knows will cause them to be jealous.

    This modus operandi is one we must use with friends, too.

    One reason I don’t have Facebook because is it gives some people too much information.
    Protect your privacy zones.

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  21. Valerie

    My sister and law and I were actually good friends in house school and I thought I was lucky! Little did I know that she would ever become the monster sister and law because she is so nice and quiet to everybody else. I remember dive years ago when my husband and I first dated my husband told me to not tell her anything because she is nosy but I didn’t listen to him. She not only told their step mom about a very personal thing that happened to me in highschool she said that .okay huge first red flag so I kept a very polite distance and stopped telling her anything . Then being that we have mutual friends she was always trashing me and trashing her brother on Facebook . I pointed it out and e said he is used to it. I defended him and stood up to her and that’s when the Green monster appeared! She told me that I can never keep her brother from her and that he will always be here brother! I got very upset by her saying im controlling when im a very laid back person.When she texts him or calls he would never respond so that made her think I was telling him not to talk to her! What an overgrown child and that was when I fed into her tactics so when she would call I would tell him to call or text her back so she doesn’t feel ignored! There was even a rumor in high school about them sleeping together and how she couldn’t stand his girlfriend at the time and would get into physical fights. Of purse thy blamed the gf at the time and said how crazy she was. Well now going back many years later we are happily married with three kids and our youngest child passed away unexpected at four and a half months. She was very supportive at that time and I confides into her many things. The day after our sons funeral service she posted a picture of her brother with her and all their cousins smiling how much they loves that picture. My husband was devastated that she posted it online and when I confronted her and told her that picture is very private and that day didn’t belong on social media she got mad at me. Who gets mad at somebody who is upset that they posted a pic if their husband who just lost a child? She deleted it off of hers and then made it their moms cover page for six months. So she hid behind her moms account and in spite made it a cover page. Finally after me bringing it up how many times my husband asked her to take it down. Well then when it is she has her cousin post it on Instagram. The same cousin who she had go through our home the first few days after we lost our son and couldn’t bear to be home . That photo album was a gift from his mom that had his . Sisters and cousins baby pictures and they could of justsbasked for it. Instead she gives it to their mom and lies that she didn’t have the cousin take it. I just feel so violated by her and my husband is sick of hearing about it. She is killing him with kindness and saying how she didn’t know that picture of them from our sons funeral party would hurt us. She knew because I told her only she wanted control of our pain. I just keep reminding him that nobody takes a pic aid a grieving father and puts on Facebook and there was nothing to love about that day. it was my mistake letting he elbow it upset me but I wanted justice. She is such a meddler and I am not used to people exploiting their family’s privacy like this. At this point I am wondering wht life would be like without my husband just so I can get rid of her. Of purse that’s what she wants but I can’t live the rest of my life with somebody so twisted. She has also been stalking his ex on Facebook that she wasnt even close to just as a way to annoy me. i am not on Facebook anymore because of all the rude comments she makes about us but i am told that every picture or comment somebody posts she likes and has something to say. and following her every move. I have to listen to her and her step mom and cousins talk anout all their droends behind their back at any event and its sickening to know how uncaring and nosy they are in other lives.I don’t know how my sister in law has enough energy to keep track of her kids and husband when she is always keeping track of her brother and everybody else . So actually she lives her life through her brother and is so nice to him but secretly hates me and makes it look like I am the bitch because I shouldn’t be upset with all this nonsense. Trying to figure out why she is so jealous is making me crazy but what’s killing me is that she took a picture of her brother at our sons sacred day. All the other stories have really helped because now I know I should not act like I care what she does or says and not to bring it up around my husband! It’s just too many lines have been crossed and she went way to far with an inappropriate picture for everybody on Facebook to see. She is so shallow and if she loves being around her brother even if its at his sons funeral party she could of took a pic at a holiday or family reunion! Craziness I’ve never dealt with this before and just wish that she grows up and realizes in not keeping her away from my husband so stop blaming me and take a lol at your actions!

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  22. Caroline

    Iknow all about sister rivalry and it can be nasty. from day one of entering my husbands family, it was NOT fun or easy. I was judged immediately in a negative way and constant RUDE comments. I honestly hardly even knew these people but I could tell that I wasn’t in for anything pleasant. For my husband and I it finally got to the point after nearly 10 years of marriage and a baby on the way that we couldn’t stand it anymore. Nothing that you ever do with these people is GOOD enough and constant NASTY remarks to your face and I can only imagine behind your back. Not too mention my own sister is a nasty, backstabbing little weazle herself. I think that she became angry the year that my husband and I got married and unfortunately she was pregnant and “NOT” married which did not go over well with my dad, as you can imagine. To make matters worse, she was supposed to stand up for me at my wedding but was too far along. Get this, her own Com’mon law husband as we call him made her attend the wedding all “ALONE”. Imagine the “SHAME”? He has always treated her and her two kids badly to start with but she won’t leave as we believe that she is afraid of being “ALONE”. Therefore the childhood bond that I had with my own sister is LONG gone and we barely speak anymore, so sad. This is why I had hoped that when I married and had a new sister-in-law that we could have a great relationship but it wasn’t meant to be. Now we all just barely to speak to one another and its so sad as I have two beautiful children that we adore and they seldom ever see these people. I wish that things were different but its just too negative a situation and we think that its just best to stay away from one another.

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  23. rosse ong

    Never marry anyone with lots of sisters or brothers . Those bils and sils can really be “pain in the neck” . They always tend to be the bad rather than good and coming between you and yr spouse . I have rich sil/bil and they are always putting on “superior than thou attitude” . The worse is that they treat their bro/sis well so if you complain to you spouse , he/she will think you are paranoid . I refuse to attend any get together of theirs where I am treated as if I do not exist . Sigh , I can’t get away from this sickening crowd unless I divorce my spouse ! I hope that one day they will get a dose of their own medicine.

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  24. Emerald

    I have decided that it is time for me to get professional advice on how to deal with a SIL that has never had a conversation with me in 7 yrs, and yet, she is making up all sorts of stories about me. Seriously, the woman is nuts. She and the mother-in-law are nuttier than nuts ! They invent conversations that I allegedly have with the MIL !!! I have stopped all communication by phone and will only speak to the MIL when the hubby is around. The MIL invented a conversation that I apparently had with her a few months back, related that invented conversation to the nutty SIL and then the SIL gave details to the hubby. I actually had to laugh it was so crazy. I actually took out the telephone bills to show him that I had not made any phone calls to the MIL. I am thinking that it does not matter how good or what type of person i am the SIL and MIL will invent their own versions of who I am. It is the lying that really hurts me ! She has made up lies and stories about me that are truly histerial. And boy is she jealous ! She has tried to control others with her money – pity is – I am a strong professional woman myself and do not need any of her money and I don’t think much of her as a sister, mother, wife or human being. I am determined to keep my children away from these crazy ladies. What happened to being a grown up.

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  25. Liz

    Its amazing how many people are affected by their in laws. I can relate to the folks that have commented on this forum. What it comes down to is that most in law problems have a lot to do with jealousy and selfishness. Over the years, every time I hung out with my husband’s family on outings, its obvious to me they were alienating themselves from my husband and I. How can we expect to enjoy these outings when they ignore us altogether? You can literally feel the tension in the air to every single family gathering we go to.
    As the years have gone by, things got worse. The entire family disrespected me and my husband. What it came down to was they were against us moving in together. I respect their opinion, but we are 40 years old and established in our lives. Since they have disrespected us, some of them weren’t invited to our wedding unless they got their act together and learn how to respect us a human beings.

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  26. Robyn

    My SIL is an emotional vampire. Period dot. Dealing with my husband’s sister is like dealing with a jealous ex wife or girlfriend.

    She can’t accept the fact that her brother has a true wife. I’m the first wife he has ever had. And she has this need to be the most important woman in his life, to the point where she has decided that it’s okay to say nasty things to me on social media, we live far enough away that we don’t see her often, and then when her brother just ignores her, she has now taken to family gossiping and getting her perceptions out as reality.

    I have tried to be nice to her. I have tried to relate to her. And quite frankly, I’m done being nice to her completely. She has taken the stance that I should never have gotten involved with my husband, that she will be there to pick up the pieces when I leave and hopes that I haven’t messed him up as a person.

    I’m happily married. I don’t get where she comes up with some of what she comes up with, it’s down right absurd.

    And what is sad is that she has been married for 15 years, has her own home, kids and life. But for some reason, her brother can’t POSSIBLY be happy with a woman. He can’t POSSIBLY be happy having a family life.

    And the worst part is that she does it behind his back, so acts really sweet and innocent. Thank goodness for the written word and the many ways we can communicate without voice. Because she likes to deny that she called me names or said anything she said to me, and it’s written forever and can’t be deleted on her whims.

    Currently my husband is not talking to her. She has gone so far as to try to use children as an excuse to get him to call her. Contact her and has accused HIM of being the one who walked away from her. No. She ignored him for 5 months to punish him for daring to stand up for his wife and marriage and tell his family that it hurts him that they can’t accept his wife and believe that I make him happy.

    I don’t want to see my husband not have a relationship with his sister. That is just not right. However, decisions need to be made to have a happy marriage without the constant competition coming from his sister.

    She has to stop thinking that she trumps a wife in everything with him. Yes, I live with him every day and therefore I get more affection and attention. Get over it. Stop whining about it. Stop making it out to be that I stole your brother. You are jealous. Try watering your marriage garden and let mine grow and leave it alone.

    I don’t like her. I have lost respect for her. I have forgiven her the issues she has, but I will never forget that she wants me gone. And she lost a potential friend. I don’t allow women like her into my life. If she weren’t my husband’s sister, I would have tossed her out of my life years ago.

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  27. Jila

    I have a terrible sister in law. She is quite jealous and tries to tell me indirectly than I have stolen his brother. She wants me and my husband serving her and their mother!
    Today, they came to our hours while we were not talking. I told her hello and she answered freezingly cold. We didn’t talk anymore and I added all thing to her such as nuts, cookies, sweets, fruits. but she didn’t tell “thank you”. After they left my house (my SIL,MIL and FIL), I told my husband all the story and we had a very very bad argument. I couldn’t stay scilent because I do believe that my husband is the only one who can solve this problem by telling his sister that she should respect me and have good and at least normal behavior to his own wife (me).

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  28. Tammy

    Hello, I’m having a big issue with my boyfriends sister. He just met her not even a whole year again once their father passed away. His father never raised or did anything for him ever. The first time met her it was at her house and I felt a very bad vibe about her. She was very dry and stayed distant. I didn’t feel any type of warm welcome at all from her. After we left, I told my bf she wasn’t friendly at all and I wasn’t feeling her vibe. It was if she didn’t like me. He said asked me why did I feel like that and I eplained. He just acted as if I was wrong. After being around her I started noticing her questioning me about my business. Then she started borrowing money from
    my bf and barely know him. I’m mad because my bf volunteered to help with her wedding. I really think she’s tryna get close to him because she’s a user and he always treat her and her man and they never once treated us to anything but she always try to be around us because she know he’s gonna front the bill. Now all a sudden she want to call and act like me and her is cool when I know she don’t like me. What is it about her?

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  29. MB

    I’m sorry you ladies are having trouble with your in-laws. My SIL is OK…we aren’t best friends, but she isn’t bad.

    The only issue is that she can be a bit competitive and catty sometimes. She is in her late 40’s, I’m in my late 20’s. My husband is in his early 40’s. I first realized there was kind of a problem when she started making comments about the way I dress. Now I’m somebody who likes to look good…I grew up relatively poor, but my mother always told me that it was important to carry myself well at all times.

    I don’t wear designer clothes or anything, but I love pretty clothes and I have my own style. I like to look feminine. Apparently this bothers her because she’s made comments about it. On my wedding day back in 2009, my husband told me that his sister wanted me to wear jeans and a T-shirt to brunch. I was like, are you kidding me? It was MY special day and I wanted to be fancy. She wanted me to blend in with her and my MIL because they always wear very plain casual clothes…nothing wrong with that, but don’t tell me what to wear because I am a grown woman.

    Anyway, I decided to wear a cute sundress just to show her that she isn’t the boss of me. I could tell she was annoyed but I didn’t care. Who tells a bride to be dowdy on her wedding day?! Really? And then at Christmas last year, I didn’t bring a nice dress or anything so I wore blue jeans (dark blue), a gorgeous red sweater, and some classic gold jewelry to church. Her first comment was: “I’m so relieved that you wore pants”. I find it so bizarre. Who cares what I’m wearing? Why does it matter so much? I’m not showing off just because I actually take the time to shower, fix my hair, throw on some mascara, and wear a cute outfit.

    I do it because it makes ME feel good. She also made a rude comment about how “weird” it is to see her brother wearing a wedding ring and she wonders why he is wearing one in the first place. It’s like, hello…you were at our wedding and we’ve been married nearly 5 years!

    I simply smiled sweetly and said, “yep, he’s stuck with me”. That was my way of letting her know that I am his wife and I will not be treated like some insignificant person. I think my age bothers her too, because I’m 13 years younger than my husband. She obviously sees me as some childish girl who doesn’t know anything about life. Oh, and then there was the time when she “tattled” behind my back and complained to him about my Facebook profile.

    I don’t have anything offensive on Facebook (there are people who post truly offensive things on there) but for some reason, she complained to my husband instead of speaking to me directly. I was annoyed. Now I don’t trust her anymore. And she is rude about my interests as well…I love classic movies and stuff that others find weird sometimes, but they are MY interests. I don’t make fun of what she likes.

    I believe there are several issues in my case…the fact that I’m younger, I’m of a different ethnic background, I don’t gossip like a lot of women do, and I have my own sense of style. Some females are threatened by women who don’t “follow the herd”.

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  30. MB

    I forgot to add that she could dress nicely if she wanted to…there’s nothing stopping her. She has a very good job that pays well, she can afford to travel all the time, so she can certainly afford anything she wants. I don’t have a lot of money but I do have style and I guess that bothers her. Maybe I’m supposed to look frumpy so she can feel better about herself? I don’t know. She always looks unkempt but I’ve never criticized her appearance to her face, not the way she does with me. A person doesn’t have to be wealthy to look good either. When I was growing up, my mother always looked like a million bucks and we were far from rich. She sewed our clothes and also shopped discount/thrift sometimes. She was simple and classic, yet original. So it isn’t about money…it’s about having your own style and having enough confidence to let other women wear what they want, without making catty comments about it.

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  31. Hectic

    My husband’s & my sister-in-law is getting on our last nerve with our wedding planning. Her husband is my husband’s brother & she’s acting like a spoiled child about everything! She’s jealous that her husband (best man) will be standing with another woman (my maid of honor) and also that her daughter isn’t my flower girl. My step daughter & niece are flower girls and we are trying to keep the wedding as small as possible. I’m appalled by just how catty she has gotten. I don’t know how to deal with her jealousy and negativity. Our wedding day is fast approaching and I don’t want any problems from her. I wouldn’t put it past her to wear white on my day. What do we do? She’s driving us crazy!

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  32. Girl Annonymous

    My sister in law is the most cruel and hateful person I have ever known. She is extremely jealous of my relationship with her brother, almost on a borderline romantic/incestuous level. She will stop at nothing to break us up, so that she can spend all of her time with him, and cause me pain!

    Anyone who has ever met me will tell you that I have lots of flaws (klutzy, ditzy at times, etc), but being mean to people is not one of them. I’m one of the friendliest people you’ll ever meet, and go out of my way to be nice. It would actually bother me to think I had hurt someone. This is why I have bent over backwards to befriend my sister in law, only to be hurt for the last 10 years.

    When my husband and I first started getting dating, he was in college ,and lived with his sister. I thought it was a little odd, but said nothing. At first, she didn’t pay much attention to our relationship, but a few months went by. She realized we were falling for each other on a serious level. That’s when the claws came out, and we had to be stopped. God forbid, if we got married, he would spend more time with me than her. She didn’t have a driver’s license ,and needed my husband to be her chaufuer. I was in the way! If we had a date planned, she would say “No…take ME out instead. Take ME out to eat. Spend money on ME, not her”. She would justify this by saying “I had a rough day”, or ” I just broke up with my boyfriend”. The first few times, he obliged. When I would bring this up, he would say I was overthinking it…but I wasn’t.

    When we finally did get to go on a date, it would be interrupted by her calling and asking him to pick her up ,or bring her Taco Bell….yes I’m serious! When we would pick her up, she would get in the car, look at me, and say “What the hell are you doing here”? She become more and more aggressive and direct with her approach.
    She would call and say ” We’re going out to the movies, and you’re not invited.”, etc. She finally told me, “He is my f***ing brother. Stay the f** away from him. Their father was a pastor. She also added the comment ” Everyone loves me because I’m the pastor’s f***ing daughter, and I can do whatever the hell I want.” Wow…talk about hypocritical!

    When my father died, she (and her family) did nothing. They did not call, come to the funeral, bring flowers, food, or anything. In fact, the only thing they DID do was call my husband and tell him to come home DURING the wake. They told him he’d been at my house too long! I was falling apart and needed his support. Not only could they not give me a measley “I’m sorry”, but they could not even let him be there for me without being jealous!

    Finally, it became too much for me. I was not supposed to have to compete with a sister for my own boyfriend’s attention. I decided to break up with him. When I did, she wrote “Free at last!!!” all over her Facebook. I cried uncontrollably when I saw it. I still loved him, but could not deal with her.

    While we were separated, I dated a man in the military. He was funny and kind. Best of all, he didn’t have a jealous psycho sister. He treated me very well, but the problem was, I was not in love with him.

    When my husband found out that I was dating this man, he got drunk and in his drunken state, whined about it to his sister. She then went behind his back, and sent me a hate mail, cussing me out and calling me a slut and a whore. She said that “Her brother was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I wasn’t good enough for him. She said “How dare you for hurting him like that”. This hurt me beyond words. I wanted to say “I would still be with your brother and not this other man, if it weren’t for you making my life a living hell! I could not get over her calling me a slut. ( My husband had given me quite a few stories on her, and let’s just say it was ironic for HER to call ME the slut!).

    After a few months apart, he was miserable. He not only begged me to come back, but he proposed. I was overjoyed, and said yes. He was the love of my life ,and I was not going to let her ruin that for me!

    When she found out about this she went into a psycho crazy rage. She wrote him a hate mail, claiming that “blood was thicker than water” ,and telling him she would “denounce him” if he chose me over her. Let’s look at this rationally. “Chose ME over HER?” Of course he did! You are his sister! I am his future wife! Wives come first! Read the Bible, “Pastor’s daughter”! Wives definitely come first!

    I wanted to say “Are you in love with him?” Why else would you be so crazy jealous?” I don’t think she is sexually ,but I think she has an emotional intimacy with him, and somewhat saw him as her “boyfriend”.

    So, my husband FINALLY realized that I was right ,and she was out of control. He told her she HAD to apologize to me, or else he would cut her out of his life. She called me to “apologize” , but wound up saying “I don’t totally hate you”. I called him crying and told him that was NOT an apology. She said that was the best she could do.

    Ever since we got married, it’s been one thing after another. She has texted him and tried to get him to “sneak out” and have dinner dates with her, leaving me at home!!!! He told her no, he would not do that! She says demeaning, snippy comments whenever she can. She always frowns and looks angry if he praises me or says he loves me. She always tries to talk about memories that I wasn’t there for, like when they were kids to make me feel left out. She writes on Facebook about how much she “misses” him. (She put me through hell, but poor her, right?). I wanted to write back “Oh yes, and I miss my father…not that you ever acknowledged he died”.

    Her parents are oblivious to the hell she was put not just me through, but her own brother as well. Every time I try to tell them, they say “You need to forgive her”. I consider the fact hat I haven’t beaten the shit out of her amazing! I consider the fact that I smile and am nice to her beyond belief! They don’t realize how much restraint that takes!!! If that’s not trying to forgive her, I don’t know is. Now, I think it’s time for HER to apologize!

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  33. beuty

    I have a 32 year old SIL who is possesssed with his brother. She even works up to cook him breabreakfast when I leave the living room she talks and when I enter she is silent I just ignore her and talk to my husband but she is spiteful. She wants to bully me in my home and she is jus useless . She is completely obsessed with her brother this is really affecting me I hate her now I used to love her so much but I have these evil thoughts on her can’t help it

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  34. nice girl

    It’s sort of comforting to hear all these stories and makes mine seem not as bad. Yet, my SIL has been casually insulting and offending me since the day we met. The first thing she ever said to me was rude. My husband said it was her way of breaking the ice. I can think of 100 better ways that don’t involve an insult. She loves to comment on the way I dress in which she is discreetly saying that sometimes the way I dress makes me look fat. WTF! Slowly I have realized her game and do stick up for myself. She has made all types of weird comments that I either ignore or quickly address. Either way it is hurtful. It is so obvious that is just immature jealousy, as she is almost 50 and has never been married or had kids. She controls and plans everything in the family, but most times it is appreciated because she is very good at it and now she seems to think she can control my life as well. Originally we wanted to elope but my husband made the mistake of telling her, which resulted in us having to plan a small wedding. It was nice, but I would have preferred to go with our plan as I was left with some bad feelings, not just from her. The proof is in the pudding though. She wore white to my wedding! If that is not an insult, I don’t know what is. She also took it upon herself to design my wedding ring, which I changed after a year
    two, and of course that is now a point of contention which she sees as being difficult or high maintenance. All of it is just pompous and immature Nd I ever never done anything
    but been kind and also be true to myself. The worst part is that my husband doesn’t see it and he even thinks that maybe it is my fault because I can be kind of sassy. I’m just fed up with assholes trying to control my life. I have been practicing the kill her with kindness thing and it seems to work. It just sucks to have to always be on guard. Any feedback?

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  35. Aimei

    I have started a blog because my sister in law is tearing apart the peace in my family. If it isn’t one thing it is another. I am planning my wedding and at first everything was fine. I began to note my sister in law (SIL) was procrastinating a ton with ordering her bridesmaids dress and it got to the point that I have to get my parents involved. Then it began to be other things and issues – mostly financial. At first I felt bad for her situation and then later discovered that she was manipulating me (either on purpose or subconsciously). Her behavior for the past 3 weeks has been unacceptable and the drama she is causing is giving me health issues. I have been nauseated and having other bathroom related issues, my appetite has decreased. It is bad. She MUST stop and I am not sure how to express to her that she needs to put the drama on hold until after the wedding because I am getting sick. I want to kick her out of the wedding but politics in the family make this impossible. Please check out my blog if you want to read about the drama as it continues to unfold.
    also- nice girl – that is a tough situation! Be confident in yourself and put her ‘on the run’ so to speak. She is doing what she does because she is insecure and, yes, needs to grow up. Same w/ my SIL. I would just refrain from making any comment whatsoever (nice or mean) so her and just view her as a child until she decides she is going to be an adult. This could take a while and I don’t know if you have already tried this tactic. Just be true to yourself. And if she crosses the line with a comment then just really loudly and firmly stare directly into her eye (do not veil your feelings) and say, “What is your problem?” loud enough so those around are called to acknowledge what she said. And it forces her to reflect too. Hope this helps :) Another tactic is to repeat what she says back to her so she can hear how it sounds and so she has to explain the comment.

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  36. vivian

    My sister in law is terrible. My marrage is just 7month old. Right 4rm when I was dating my spours. She has been so jelours about me. But I did not get it 4rm the start. Now am married to the brother things get worst. If I go out with my husband and come back that day we are enemy. She dosent want to see me happy in my home and the problem is that my husband seem to see notting Wroung in what she is doing.

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  37. Marita

    I have tolerated a very mean sister in law for the past 12 years which began the day we got married and the first time I met her. I was warned that she could be a prima donna but when she flaunted throughout the family meal and held court at our wedding….my heart just sank. She thinks she is so incredibly beautiful and would over the years by making statements about her dress size compared to mine. She pranced around the living room with her hands under her sweatshirt declaring she was me…. I avoided her and ignored her to the point where she was no longer there. Her mean spirit and snobbish ways finally came to a head a few weeks ago when she called out of the blue to tell me that my second diagnosis was ‘no big deal’. I happen to be seeing a lawyer about a will and was looking into making future funeral arrangements in case the ‘no big deal’ turned out to be something a little more drastic than her dismissive attitudes. I sat down and decided to write her the following:

    I want you to read this and reflect on what has transpired over the past day since your phone call to me. You did not call to congratulate me on my graduation a few weeks ago when I graduated with distinction, you did not call me at any time over the years to just chat…. you have put me down in front of others and behind my back. You have been deeply disrespectful on so many levels that it is hard for me to believe that yesterday you were concerned for me as you outlined your ‘professional’ diagnosis based on nothing more than a smattering of facts. When does this end with you? When can we sit in a room with you and not feel like i want to scream? When do you finally stop with your ‘i am better than you’ attitude? It is of no consequence to me if I ever see you again but my husband is more important to me than anyone in this entire planet (of course my children too) and it behooves me that you treat his wife with such disdain, as if I am the gum on the bottom of your shoes. I want you to think long and hard and I do not want to hear from you again until you apologize to me personally and then to my husband and other family members that you have dragged along. My blood pressure is through the roof at a time when I just needed love and support.

    Gratefully, she has removed herself from my facebook account and has been warned by other family members including my husband to cease any communication. I would never think to treat anyone like her and I am not the only one she has treated like this. I put up with this far too long and I should have stopped it at the very beginning.

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  38. Cheryl

    I have been married for 8 years and my SIL started being catty before we were married. My husband had hinted that SIL likes to be the center of attention and was raised to get whatever she wanted. His attitude about her is that a) she can be destructive so it is easier and better to just roll over and always let her have her way and b) any instances where she has tried to exclude me, steal my role as a wife, or “one up” a gift I have given him are all in my head because she would never intentionally do such things. I honestly know I could handle her better if he would wake up and see what is going on. She fawns and dotes on him and he loves it so he is blind to her leaving me out and worse. The last time I expressed to him that it concerns me that we will – not by choice since we’re military – be moving closer to her and will see her more, he suggested that the fact I would say such a thing concerns him about my mental state. His refusal to acknowledge and address what is going on is the worst.

    A few incidents of my SIL’s best work:
    1) When my husband came home from the Middle East, she invited herself to our house and took over making a welcome home dinner for him. I had already purchased the groceries and had a plan but, nevermind, she would be cooking the meal! She took over the kitchen and my husband told me to leave her be, but I had spent his entire deployment dreaming of his homecoming and she just took over. I couldn’t hide my disappointment so early the next morning, she took off which made my husband angry at me for not sucking it up.
    2) At my husband’s last promotion – which will be the last of his military career and was the only one I was present for since he was halfway around the world for the one before – she came to town and got in between us in all of the pictures. I told my hubby I wanted a picture with him but I was again told to leave her be. As a result, I have no photo of myself next to my husband on that big day. He said it was only important that I was there and I should be fixated on not having a photo.
    3) I got very sick the night of his promotion party. I sucked it up to make it through the dinner but needed to get back home to bed when it was over. Well, SIL decided she wanted to party so she led the group of us through downtown partying at every bar. I told hubby I needed to go but he ignored. Finally, a friend of hers who I had just met hailed a cab and escorted me home. Hubby stayed out partying with SIL until the wee hours.
    4) The latest is a “one up” gift she gave hubby.

    Reply
  39. Donna

    I couldn’t stand my sister-in-law, whom I used to get along with really well. They did divorce, but now I really can’t stand the woman he cheated on her with and is dating now. She’s immature, lives in a little la-la land, says crazy things and the worst part is that my MIL seems to love her! Be careful what you wish for. I’d much rather still have the SIL than this crazy kid.

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  40. CC

    I have a SIL who is childish and disrespectful. I have known my brother in law for seven Yeats. They’ve only been together for three and have been married for about a year. She has neighborhood guys in and out side in front of her apartment when my brother in law is at work. Well my husband and her husband are brothers nd they work together. So yesterday one of the neighborhood guys was over there and I asked her for my phone so I could call mymy husband. So once I tell my husband that this Guy is at the house ( she had called him down there asking him was he hungry) and once I hing up, I guess my babe told his brother and he got mad and called her back wanting to know why she had a Guy in the house making him a plate when he had already told her not to do that in the first place. So she got mad at me and while we were leaving she shut the door and locked it behind us. I said that’s fine you can be that way. Not screaming or being disrespectful. Her response was bitch imma beat

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  41. Nancy Nicole

    OMG. I hate my sister in Law it all started when me and her were having a conversation at my boyfriends soccer game and she made a comment about my husband being “fine as fuck”
    Uhm yeah where I come from that just isint right , and I’ve told my sister and friends about it and they think that’s just straight out creepy .
    Not only that but she undresses infront of my husband and I was actually in the room once when she did this and She was like “oh nancy I’ve been meaning to ask you , do you feel comfortable changing in front of your brother ?” I was like uhm no that’s just not right where I come from o.O
    Also I’ve been pregnant and me and my husband barley told his sister maybe like 2 weeks ago and she’s acting as if she cares so much when deep down I know she’s only trying to win my husbands attention, oh god I’m just so sick of this girl my husbands on my side but it’s like fuck I can’t stand her . Not only that I’m not trying to be concided or anything but I’m a very attractive woman and my body is very well built and shapey and I’ve noticed she resembles more of a little girl body and she pretty much try’s competing with me now in the clothes we wear , she use to not care how she looked and pretty much covered up her body and me I’m the the complete oppisite and I noticed she like try’s to be better then me ? It’s just creepy to me because idk ifs she’s doing it to get my attention or my husbands ?! She try’s to act so innocent , I always keep my cool and kill her with kindness but since being pregnant I’m so close to going bananas on this girl -_- ugh !

    Reply
  42. Pat

    My problem started when she brought a twelve pack of ginger ale to our wedding to insinuate I was an alcoholic, brought an uninvited male guest, neither brought a gift, ate the food, stayed a half hour and left. Seven years later, we have yet to see a wedding gift, card, flowers or anything. All family dinners are hosted at her house where she indirectly solicits contributions through her mother (my mother-in-law). She is secretive and withholds basic information like driving directions, having us follow her to destinations as she gets lost, wasting our gas instead of accepting our help on how to get places (or basically do anything) because she must prove she is superior and knows everything. She refuses to participate in any of my family planning like health care proxies or wills on her brother, even if she is being made a benefactor, stating it is against her religious beliefs, “we don’t do that type of thing”. She is very arrogant, preferring to lecture on subjects with no degree while I sit there with an Ivy League masters listening to her shrill and dictatorial reasoning. She is 42 with no children and no respect for her (half) brother except to use him. I had enough of her last night. I pulled up beside her in my Beamer on the bridge and said, “where the hell are you going?”, stopped following her and took off to the destination. When she arrived, she sent her friend down to ride back with us and I felt so good when I told the lady she wasn’t getting in my car and we drove off. I’ve had enough of her princess behavior and I’m so angry that I can’t wait until the next encounter.

    Reply
  43. Erin M.

    My sil is a nightmare! I have never met anybody like her. She has had a problem with me since the day my fiance introduced me to her. She always feels the need to text me or call me telling me that I can’t take her brother away from her, blood is thicker than water!” She is married to a prisoner and has 3 kids. She doesnt work she just expects her brother to take care of her and her kids. She tells him that I am trying to keep him away from his real family if he doesnt call her on a daily bases. Keep in mind that we have been together for 5 years and have 3 kids ourselves. The worst part is that if i stand up to her when she’s disrespecting me or yelling at me calling me every name in the book he gets mad at me! Tells me that i need to ignore her and not upset her bc she has a lot of stress. He NEVER tells her to stop or that she needs to show me some respect as his future wife he just acts like its okay. I honestly don’t see how i can marry into a relationship like this. I love him but shouldnt he stand up for me? I would love to have a relationship with my sister in law but it will never happen bc she is too worried about me taking her brother away from her.

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  44. Daffodil

    I got my sil as a “gift” at my wedding. When I got married, i could not join my husband for 3 months coz of visa delay, but with that sorted out, when i finally joined my husband, his sis moved from chicago to west coast in 4 months. I was fully supportive of it at the time- little did i know i had opened the doors to Hell!
    I am a homemaker.. If you haven’t yet guessed where this is going, here goes.. Out of goodness when i offered to foot the bill for her groceries when we went grocery shopping together, she would say “this is not your money anyway- it’s my brother’s money!”
    She comments even today(3 years later) on how we live, things we have in our house, complimenting us on our taste in the same breath as saying “i don’t have any money”.
    When my husband met with an accident early on in my marriage, she helped bring us groceries 2ce and my husband would pay her back 2ce the amount by cheque and ahe’d accept it with a giant-size smile blurting out to me, “he gave me 2ce the amt- yayy”!
    Some other monologues from her to me in my husband’s absence:
    A) you both should do seperate groceries in marriage, spend time alone doing your own thing, cook for our individual selves…..
    B) dont give my bro spicy food
    C) dont let my bro talk on the fone while driving
    D) there’s a beautiful girl i met on the bus once in chicago who’s a good friend now- wish i’d met her before, i’d have got her married to my bro
    E) my bro puts his arm around u?? He never holds me!
    F) she comes home and completely ignores me like she can’t see me, until i greet her. She somehow every time, does not respond to what i say or ask.
    There’s so much more…….it is mentally exhausting and traumatic to see her behavior continue and i recently found out that she will be around( rt across from the street) 3 more yrs at least!
    I really want my marriage to last but it seems like i have married my husband and his sister.
    She has no interest in getting married, her health is not so great, my husband helps her out financially(even though) she has a great job in Dell! (The job my husband got her)
    Maybe i should mention that my husband and he were not on talking terms for 5 years, way before we got married and i did not know my husband before marriage.
    My husband enjoyed his life alone for 8 yrs with the mother in India and the sis in a diff city. Why does he have the need to have her close to him NOW after marrying me?
    There’s a lot of bitterness and resentment in me since 3 yrs with no solution, no apology for the words and actions.. I do not want toeave my husband but living like this is sufficating and i have reached a point where i want to walk out if i have to live in the same city for a day more!

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  45. Used

    My SIL is the most manipulative person I have ever met. From the beginning, she was so rude to me. I’m the quiet type that has always gotten along with almost anyone, but that all changed when I met her. She accused me of putting her and her boyfriend at a separate table when my husband (her brother) and I had a dinner party (because according to her, her brother “would never do that”–even though he did…); she thinks I am out to get her and that I deliberately do things to “ruin her birthday,” which is absolutely insane. She is a paranoid conspiracy theorist who tells me what I should and shouldn’t be doing, but has a cow whenever I’ve given my opinion (rarely, trust me). She’s offended by religion, so I rarely even discuss my Christian faith with her, but she likes to provoke me by insulting “religious people” (I don’t even consider myself religious, I consider myself spiritual, but she continues to define me the way she wants to). She uses her dad for money and has him buy her everything, then freaks out on the rare occasion he actually helps my husband (she’s afraid he won’t buy her house if he helps us even for small gifts). She is a loudmouthed drunk pothead, who works part-time, but brags constantly to me and everyone else that she is “so responsible” compared to everyone she knows. She says it with such arrogance too. She says she worked from an early age and honestly considers herself better than everyone else…but she forgets to mention that she dropped out of high school, was in a mental institute, and got hook-ups from Daddy. The only reason she has an apartment now is because of her ex-husband (who she cheated on, btw, and aborted the kid she got pregnant with from the guy she cheated with) and because Daddy of her fiancé buys most of the groceries. Then she has the nerve to turn around and insult us because we have debt (only about $5,000, and I haven’t used my credit card in over a year and a half and am trying to pay back the debt). She tries to make me look bad to her father by comparing the foods we eat, but she does it indirectly by saying “Hmm…I don’t eat that, but I wonder who does….” She is a monster. I overheard her brainwashing her father’s girlfriend one day so that she would break up with him. It worked! I felt sick to my stomach that she broke them up by lying and manipulating the situation. She then told her dad lies about his girlfriend so he would move back in with her and help support her. It makes me want to puke. She is a horrible person, because what she does is underhanded and not out in the open. Her mom is similar but less crafty. I like my father in law, but he is completely blind to his daughter and it makes me sick how he touts her as his little princess while my husband is ignored.

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  46. Used

    I want to add that she had the nerve to tell people behind my back that she was going to kick my a** (just because she thinks I think I’m superior since I have a college degree…but I’ve always listened to her and been polite, never condescending, so it’s her imagination). When my husband told me she said this, I decided I didn’t want to go to Christmas dinner with the family. SIL calls us up cussing us out because she expected us to bring our board games. HA! As if I’m going to let someone who threatens to kick my a** use MY games. My husband tried to explain and she hung up and told the family lies about us, so everyone thought, of course, that *I* was the one responsible, keeping him “away from the family” (like most of you all have experienced). She once told me that she was praying for me and him to get divorced and would always “take him back” when he was done with me. It’s so similar to what some of you have said—almost incestuous. She said he used to be “fine” before I met him, but now he’s overweight (barely). I know the backstory and he actually still had the same issues before me, but she’s using me as a scapegoat. When I met her, she would pose in sexy pictures with him, brag about how he’d cook her breakfasts in the morning, and just otherwise act in love with him. It was gross. Now she doesn’t act like that, but she’s just really covert and points things out subtly that make her look better than me. I don’t know why she feels so threatened, but I need to get away from her. The holidays are coming up and I’m hoping we can avoid her issues as much as possible.

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