Hopefully wedding planning and newlywed life has improved your relationship with your mother as you now share even more life events in common. Newlywed life has also provided you with another mother to honor on Mother’s Day, your Mother-In-Law. Below are a few tips for incorporating your Mother-in-Law into the holiday.
To avoid any disappointment on either side of the family, it is wise to chat with your spouse about their traditions for Mother’s Day. Some families may simply send a card, while others plan elaborate weekends together. Understanding expectations before the holiday will help you plan a way to make both moms happy and prevent hard feelings between families.
For your first married Mother’s Day, it may be easier to celebrate separately. This is especially helpful if your mother’s live in different states. If both of you plan to spend time with both of your moms, you’ll need to schedule times in advance or see if both mothers would want to celebrate together.
This may sound like a great deal of planning for a single day, but happy in-law relationships can only help your marriage. If you’re planning a family in the future, it will also lay the ground work for your mothers to be flexible when it is your first Mother’s Day.
How are you spending Mother’s Day as a newlywed? Did you have to juggle family traditions or are you celebrating your own first Mother’s Day? We’d love to hear from you in a comment.
Looking for name change advice or some tips for newlywed life? The MissNowMrs experts have created state-specific name change articles and checklists for you. We’ve chronicled our recommendations for how to travel while changing your name AND how to handle voting during the transition.
We’ve also compiled our best guidance for how to handle difficult sister in laws, holidays as newlyweds, the ever-annoying baby questions, and much more. Why? Because, while we are name change experts, we’re also newlywed wives, moms, and sisters.
We hope our name change advice articles help smooth your transition to your new name, and a whole new phase of life. Congratulations and best wishes from the entire MissNowMrs team!
One of the most important and potentially tedious relationships you’re likely to have, is with your in-laws. They’re not your parents, but now they’re family and very important to your spouse. Taking the time to get to know them as individuals (not just your in-laws) will help your relationship with them and your relationship with your partner for years to come.
Everyone likes to be appreciated, so take your mother-in-law out to lunch for her birthday. Don’t forget a card and/or flowers on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. While technically your husband should keep up with his family and you should keep up with yours…you may end up responsible for all parents appreciation. Better to be the one sending cards than letting your spouse forget and make both of you look bad! There are a number of creative ways you can show your respect, so take advantage of each one of those.
Think Outside the In-Law Part
Sure, they’re your partner’s parents, but you should think of them as your friends and/or mentors. Try to get involved with something they enjoy (like gardening or golf). Having a common interest will give you things to talk about during family dinners and holidays. The relationship you have will be an important part of your marriage, and a cue for how your spouse should treat your parents…so keep that in mind the next time you visit your in-laws.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
There are bound to be differences between you and your in-laws, but if you don’t keep an open mind, you may not really see them for who they are. So maybe your mother in law has a few decorating opinions that aren’t in step with yours, just smile and try to understand her viewpoint. You aren’t obligated to make any of the changes she suggests. Listening will win you more points than arguing. Keep in mind that it takes some time to develop a relationship and understand each others boundaries. Proper communication will help you build a lasting relationship.
Time Will Tell
Rome and relationships weren’t built in a day. Try to give things a bit of extra time to gel, particularly if your new spouse was very close to his family. The closer they are, the more threatened they may feel by your presence, so be sure to be respectful and friendly, but try to give your in-laws a bit of extra space too. The relationship you build is essential to a happy marriage, so even if you don’t start off on the right foot, keep at it.
What tips do you think are the most important when adjusting to your new in-laws? We’d love for you to share in a comment.
Whether it is the first holiday with your spouse or the tenth, it can be intimidating to pick out gifts for your in-laws. If you have felt uncertain when shopping, then rest assured that you are not alone. With the many fun, but scary things that come when saying ‘I Do’, there are a whole host of new holiday-related questions to be answered. But, shopping for your in-laws doesn’t have to be intimidating. Consider these few pieces of advice before you head out to the stores.
Find Out What They Like The first step to finding the right gift this holiday season is to determine what things are most likely to be well-received. In order to do this, you might have to a little covert investigation. Carry a small notebook with you next time you are with your in-laws. Take note of things said or noticed around the house. Is there something missing in the kitchen that one of them would surely love to have? Did someone mention something seen in a catalog, online, or in a store? You might even be able to start a conversation that leads down this path. Mention a cool commercial you’ve seen recently or talk about your own shopping adventures.
Set a Budget Once you have some ideas in mind, it is time to sit down with your spouse and talk about the financial end of the holiday affairs. How much can your household afford to spare? This number, whatever it happens to be, needs to be split between all gift-receiving individuals. To avoid hard feelings, it is often best to spend the same amount on each parent. Some couples decide to pay for their own parents gifts, respectively.
Shop Smart & Be Creative If you, like many Americans, are feeling the financial pinch this holiday season, don’t worry. Everyone is aware of the economic status and the vast majority of people will understand if you have to cut holiday spending down this season. Even those with little or nothing to spend can afford to create fantastic gifts. Consider baking cookies or biscotti. If you have an artistic talent, use it to make something personal for your in laws. Small, inexpensive tokens are often better received and more meaningful than impersonal ones that cost a small fortune.
What are you buying your in-laws this year? Do you have a tried and true system that works? We’d love for you to share in a comment!
The holidays are filled with happiness, love, good food, great friends, and the creation of many wonderful memories. However, for many, this time of year also comes with great stress, as one is forced to consider the etiquette of gift giving within a new family. It is absolutely wonderful to give a gift and enjoy the look of thrill that comes with opening it, but giving a gift to a person who wasn’t expecting it often means giving a handful of guilt as well. When you are the one on the receiving end, with nothing to give in return, it can be horribly embarrassing. So now that you’re part of a new family, how do you know who you are supposed to buy for and how much to spend?
Who Should You Be Buying For? This is often the first question asked in new marriages. While it might be obvious what gifts need to be purchased on your side of the family, because you are very familiar with the traditions, it can be far more difficult deciding which relatives of your spouse will expect a present. One of the easiest ways to figure this out is to inquire about the annual holiday events. Is there a big get-together with the extended family? Who attends it? Are gifts exchanged and how? In many families, especially large families, it is nearly impossible to get a gift for every member, so names will be drawn from a hat so each person buys just one gift. Others may choose to have a gift swap for which each person brings one or two wrapped gifts and names are drawn deciding the order in which participants choose from the table of presents. Knowing what happens at your spouse’s holiday gatherings can often save you a great deal of worry. If you are still unsure of the situation, consider stockpiling a few small items wrapped and on hand for unexpected circumstances. Consider small ornaments, kitchen gadgets, scarfs, candles or other items that anyone might enjoy and if someone gives you a gift who you haven’t shopped for, use one of these standbys to prevent an uncomfortable situation.
How Much Should You Spend? This question should not have a universal answer. Each family faces a different set of financial circumstances. Staying on budget with your holiday shopping should be the primary goal, rather than worrying about what others are going to shell out for gifts. Create a budget for what you can afford, who you need to buy for, and divide the total among them. That way, there will be no question as to whether or not you have spent enough – you have spent what you can afford. As a final note, in some families, there will be a price limit set for gifts. If that is the case, abide by the guideline, even if you feel that it is really too little. This avoids embarrassing those who can’t afford to spend more.
Are you anxious about holiday shopping for your in-laws this year? Stay tuned for our Top 10 In-Law gifts post later this week!
Are you spending Easter with the in-laws this year? If so, you might be a little worried about how things will turn out. One way to start the holiday off on the right foot is with a hostess gift for your mother-in-law. It shows that you appreciate her hospitality and that you have excellent manners (never a bad thing). Here are a few gift ideas to help you position yourself in the best way possible with your new family members:
1. Easter Colored Chocolate Strawberries – You can make them yourself with this simple recipe or order them from Shari’s Berries. Everyone loves holiday candy, and chocolate covered strawberries elevate Easter treats to a new level!
2. Robin’s Egg Soaps – Help your mother-in-law celebrate spring with this adorable soap collection. It’s a simple, sweet and practical hostess gift, all at the same time.
3. Seasonal Shakers – If you’re completely stumped on what to bring, consider these pewter rabbit salt & pepper shakers. They’ll add a bit of holiday charm to your family Easter brunch or dinner.
4. Upscale Eggs – Indulge your spouse’s family with chocolate truffle filled eggs! No need to wrap, the container is perfect on its own and perfect for Easter with the in-laws.
5. Flower Power – Give a sure-fire Spring gift, a lily of the valley bulb garden. The site and scent will fill the house with Spring and Easter cheer.
Hostess gifts aren’t just reserved for non-family members…so consider taking something to your mom if you’re headed to your family’s house for Easter this year. Every hostess deserves a little thank you goodie.
Those are our best gift ideas for Easter with the in-laws. Should you want to surprise them with your name change, the MissNowMrs app or service can help!