Staff Writer

The Scoop on Newlyweds and Divorce

Can you tell by the way a newlywed couple communicates during an argument whether or not their marriage will last? According to a study on newlyweds and divorce conducted by UW psychology Professor John Gottman and Research Scientist Sybil Carrere the answer is YES.

Their 6-year long study published in the fall journal of the Family Process in 1999 indicates that it’s possible to predict which newlywed couples will divorce from the way the partners interact in the first 3 minutes of discussing a disagreement in their marriage. They interviewed 124 couples (married less than 9 months) and 17 couples ended up divorcing by the end of the study.

Women need to learn how to soften their approach when they bring up a problem, while men have to learn how to be more accepting of what she’s saying.

According to USA Today, people are at risk of divorce throughout their marriage; however the U.S. Census Bureau 2004 found that the highest rate of divorce is between 5-10 years of marriage (8 years is the median).

Top Causes of Newlywed Divorce

Poor communication
Financial problems
A lack of commitment to the marriage
A dramatic change in priorities
Infidelity
Failed expectations or unmet needs
Addictions and substance abuse
Physical, sexual or emotional abuse
Lack of conflict resolution skills

(Source: Americans for Divorce Reform)

How to Avoid Divorce

Getting Help. Sometimes you cannot talk to each other effectively because you are arguing too much. Seeking therapy or the assistance of a trusted pastor, family member or friend can help save your marriage.

Look in the Mirror. Not literally, but spend some time really thinking about what you may do to contribute to the issues in your marriage. Nobody’s perfect and we can all stand to make a few changes to become better people.

Love, Admire & Respect. Always show each other (through actions and words) that you love, admire and respect one another. It will go a long way. Putting forth the effort to spend some quality time together will also help keep a strong bond between you and your spouse.

So if you’re anything like me, right now you’re wondering what your chances of getting divorced are, right? Use the Divorce360.com Calculator to find out and share your thoughts on this heavy topic with us! And, should you need help changing your name, check out our awesome name change app and service.

Snuggle Up to our December Giveaway: A Sleep Number® Create Your Perfect Comforter!

Now that you’re happily married and the stress of wedding planning is out of the way, there is nothing better than curling up next to the one you love…that is unless you and your sleep partner disagree on the best bedroom sleeping temperature. If that’s the case, the Sleep Number Create Your Perfect Comforter is a great solution for you because each side of the comforter can be customized to your warmth preference. Sleep Number has teamed up with MissNowMrs.com to offer one of our newlywed blog readers the chance to win a completely customized Create Your Perfect Comforter (A $280 value)!

Temperature Preferences – While the ideal bedroom temperature is in the mid-sixties, individual preferences can lead to conflict and disturbed sleep. To make you both as comfortable as possible, purchase bedding that accommodates you both – such as a dual-weight comforter that allows you to personalize each side to your warmth preference. One side is heavier to keep you warm and the other side lightweight to keep your partner cool.

The Sleep Number Create your Perfect Comforter is the ideal solution for couples who disagree on bedroom temperature as each side of the comforter can be customized. A soft Damask-stripe cover, in 300-thread-count cotton, offers breathable protection for your inner fill inserts. L-shaped zippers on both sides allow you to easily place inserts and ties keep them secure.

Choose Your Fill – Personalize your comfort with an insert on each side. Choose from the finest down for high-loft softness, or a premium down alternative, which mimics the comfort of down in a hypoallergenic 100% polyester fill.

Customize Your Warmth – Once you’ve chosen your favorite fill, select your ideal warmth level: choose lightweight if you are always warm, to extra weight if you are often cold.

Ready to win our cozy December giveaway? Leave a comment on this, or any of our Newlywed Bed Posts on Mondays this month and you’ll be automatically entered to win. Tell us all about why you and your spouse should win this custom comforter. We’d love to know what lengths you’ve gone to to solve your temperature differences.

The randomly selected contest winner will be announced on December 31st!! If we don’t hear back from the winner within 2 weeks, we will randomly select a new winner to make sure someone ends up with this great goodie!

**If you tweet this giveaway by clicking the green retweet button below, you’ll receive an additional contest entry!**

One Day Left For Our Newlywed Art.com Giveaway!

Ready to win our newlywed Art.com giveaway? Can you believe that Thanksgiving is over and December is almost here?! Before you start (or continue) your holiday shopping be sure to enter our November giveaway. Who wouldn’t want a fantastic canvas or framed photo for themselves or to use as a gift for their parents/in-laws?

Art.com is giving one of our newlywed blog readers the chance win an 18×24 printed canvas image (or 25×31 framed image) valued at $150 to hang in their home! The Photos to Art feature on Art.com will allow our winner to upload an image of her choice (be it wedding, honeymoon or even a favorite family photo) and translate it onto high-quality photographic paper or artist-grade stretched canvas. The result? A high-quality, large-scale, beautifully-finished and ready-to-hang wall art.

Ready to win our awesome November art giveaway? This is the last day to leave a comment on this, or any of our Newlywed Art Posts from Mondays this month and you’ll be automatically entered to win. Tell us all about the photos from your wedding and honeymoon. We’d love to know what image you’d want to have printed and where you plan to hang it. The randomly selected contest winner will be announced on November 30th!! If we don’t hear back from the winner within 2 weeks, we will randomly select a new winner to make sure someone ends up with this great goodie!

**If you tweet this giveaway by clicking the green retweet button below, you’ll receive an additional newlywed Art.com giveaway entry!**

Last Week to Win Our Newlywed Art.com Giveaway!

Are you ready for an Art.com giveaway?! What makes a truly great picture? Some may argue that there needs to be a specific resolution, great lighting and depth of field for a good photo. I beg to differ on this one! Some of my very favorite photos are from my own wedding when the photographer’s lens fogged over due to the humidity. The result was a series of dreamy images of two newlyweds leaving the church and driving off down the road. I believe that a great picture needs to provoke a strong emotion in the viewer.

If your favorite photo shows you and your beloved on the beach, but you elbow is cut off….who cares? Frame that picture and remember all of the fun of that exact moment in your newlywed life!

Do you have a favorite newlywed photo that you’re dying to frame? Great news: Art.com is giving one of our newlywed blog readers the chance win an 18×24 printed canvas image (or 25×31 framed image) valued at $150 to hang in their home! Talk about an inspiring giveaway!

The Photos to Art feature on Art.com will allow our winner to upload an image of her choice (be it wedding, honeymoon or even a favorite family photo) and translate it onto high-quality photographic paper or artist-grade stretched canvas. The result? A high-quality, large-scale, beautifully-finished and ready-to-hang wall art.

Ready to win our awesome November art giveaway? This is the last full week to leave a comment on this, or any of our Newlywed Art Posts on Mondays this month and you’ll be automatically entered to win. Tell us all about the photos from your wedding and honeymoon. We’d love to know what image you’d want to have printed and where you plan to hang it.

The randomly selected contest winner will be announced on November 30th!! If we don’t hear back from the winner within 2 weeks, we will randomly select a new winner to make sure someone ends up with this great goodie!

**If you tweet this giveaway by clicking the green retweet button below, you’ll receive an additional Art.com giveaway contest entry!**

How to Convince Your Wife That She Needs a New Gadget

Are you longing for the latest version of your favorite electronic toy (i.e. TV, iPhone, Xbox, etc.)? Not sure how to convince your lady that it’s a good purchase that you’ll both benefit from and surely enjoy? Well, don’t sweat it! Try these helpful strategies and you’ll find yourself making your next new gadget purchase as early as this weekend.

As women, we don’t always see why your new $200+ new gadget is a good idea, much like you don’t understand our shoe bill at the end of the month. Your wife may not see the point in your purchase because she hasn’t been convinced or sold on the idea of the mutual benefits.

Your job is to figure out what those mutual benefits are (not your strong suit? Not a problem, we’ve got you covered!…keep reading) and tell her about them. Once she has a better understanding of how this new gadget fits into both your lives (and relates to her interests/hobbies), she will be more susceptible to the idea of purchasing the said item!

Women tend to care about the following (among so many other things, but for the purpose of this post we’ll stick with these): how will it fit/look in our home, will it make my life easier and will it affect our communication (i.e. will it bring us closer together)?

How will it look in my home?

Women spend a lot of time making sure everything in the house is color coordinated and has its own special place. Don’t mess with that! Try talking to your wife about how a new TV will not ruin the chic and sleek look she has going on in the family room because it’s a wall mount with wires that will not be seen! She’s more-likely to agree to a purchase that won’t clash with the décor or ruin her vision of your home.

Will this gadget make life easier?

Women have so much on their minds (i.e. You, a career, a home, fitness, kids just to name a few) and don’t need anything to make life more complicated or stressful. If you can figure out a way to prove that the new gadget will make life easier you will be one step closer to getting exactly what you want. It could be as simple as explaining how a universal remote will work the TV, DVD player, stereo and surround sound system, eliminating 3 of 4 different remotes. Believe me, this will sound like a mini lifesaver to your wife!

Will this gadget affect our communication or bring us closer together?

Whether it’s a conversation over a glass of wine or watching a movie with a bowl of popcorn, at the end of the day your wife just wants to spend some quality time with you. Let her know how a new gaming system will allow you to have video game nights together; which is great if you are the competitive types or how a new laptop or Smartphone will allow for you to sit on the couch and catch up on emails and bills instead of having to head to your home office. After all, it’s not always about what you’re doing that matters most, it’s that you’re able to be together while you do it.

Tell us: What purchase were you able to convince your wife to make using our tips or others? Share your tactics with other readers…I’m sure fellas all over will appreciate advice Man-to-Man!