Danielle Tate

Ode to Thanksgiving Pie

Who doesn’t look forward to Thanksgiving pie?! Thanksgiving is almost upon us and that means getting together with family and celebrating all of the things you are thankful for with a ton of food. Whether it’s pumpkin, chocolate meringue, apple or berry; a fabulous slice of pie is the best way to top off a great meal. As the newlywed addition to your spouse’s family, what better thing to bring to the meal, but a homemade pie?

Here a few recipes to help you make a great impression (and pie) this Thanksgiving as well as show off your personality.

For the Traditionalist: If you love a classic Thanksgiving meal then make a classic dessert to match it. Here are a few great recipes for pumpkin pie, apple pie and berry cobbler. Your new family is certainly in for a treat!

For the Foodie: Are you the gracious gourmet? Flaunt your skills and great taste with a Chocolate Pumpkin Mousse Tart or, if the oven is in over-drive, why not make a delectable frozen treat? You’ll have more than a few family fans after making a Cold Lemon Souffle for dessert.
For the Frazzled: Want to bring something to add to dinner, but are short on time? Here are two great ideas that take an hour or less: whip up a Sweet Potato Pie or try this Pecan Caramel Tart Recipe. These recipes may be short on prep time but they sure aren’t lacking in flavor or presentation. No one needs to know that you made them in a matter of minutes!

For the Innovator: Are you the edgy interesting person that loves a new flavor combination? Show off your taste for adventure with Pumpkin Candy Cups that are not quite pie and not quite candy…but all together scrumptious. You could also make a Banana Rum Cream Pie that will have your in-laws drooling!

Do you have a signature pie recipe that you plan to make this Thanksgiving? Please share it with us!

3 Financial Mistakes Most Newlywed Couples Make

Let’s talk about the financial mistakes most newlywed couples make. Money is always a stressful subject no matter who you are or who you’re with. Some newlywed couples aren’t quite sure what to do in certain situations. How do we file taxes? What do we do about debt? There are plenty of questions to ask, but there are three big mistakes that every couple should look out for. Avoiding these money pitfalls will put you on firmer financial ground for your marriage.

1. Merging everything all at once, right now.
There’s no need to rush into a banking merge. Not all your finances need to be filed into a joint account the second you say, “I do.” Instead, take a little time to learn about one another’s saving and spending habits, and see what works best for you. Many couples have no qualms about putting all their finance into one pot, whereas others prefer to keep things separate.

Many assume they know how their partner handles money, but until you see them in action, take your time. When you both know your money preferences, you can make the best decisions regarding accounts. A lot of newlyweds are better off with an overall balance; money for him, money for her, and money for both. As you learn and grow as a couple, you may decide to go all in. Take your time – there’s no rush.

2. Spending, spending, spending.
Spending can quickly become a touchy subject if not handled properly. Oftentimes, someone in the relationship becomes the “spender” and that’s where a problem can arise. Typically, the issue lies within how the money is actually spent. Perhaps you spend money on smaller things like groceries, bills, and maybe a pair of shoes for yourself, while your spouse brings home a new laptop. In the end, you both spent about the same, but it’s easy to see how the perception can get skewed.

Take time to sit down with one another and discuss how much of the budget should be spent on particular items. Specify how much should be spent on necessary items and how much can be spent on fun, larger purchases. Make it a win-win situation for everyone.

3. Keeping secrets.
Let’s face it, secrets are bad for any marriage (except for that surprise birthday party for your spouse – that’s okay). This is especially true for secrets involving money. A common secret is about how much an item actually costs. True, it won’t break a marriage if you said that $40 scarf was only $30, but doing this repeatedly shows that there is an issue. If too much money is being secreted away, it’s a good idea to get some outside help.

Don’t let money get in the way of your marriage! Did you get caught in one of financial mistakes most newlywed couples make? Let our readers avoid your mistakes…leave a comment today!

Fight Fair as a Newlywed and Beyond

It’s important to know how to fight fair as a newlywed, if you want your marriage to last. Do you and your spouse disagree on one little thing and somehow it turns into an all-out brawl where you’re screaming about things that happened months or even years ago? If so, one or both of you may be fighting…DIRTY! Below are useful newlywed tips on how to fight fair; and if you use them, you’ll find yourselves in a happier, healthier marriage.

#1. Face Your Fear of Confrontation and Discuss the Issue as soon as Possible-You can’t resolve an issue that you’re too afraid to bring up. It’s time to realize that you have to discuss things that bother you in order for you and your spouse to truly be a team. Marriage requires two people, so speak up! Bottling up your problems will only result in a bigger blowout later on. If you’re in public or somewhere that you don’t feel comfortable resolving the issue at least acknowledge that there IS an issue and set a specific time to talk about it when you’re in a better place/frame of mind.

#2. State exactly what’s bothering you and Stick to the Issue at Hand-Be clear about what specifically made you upset and how it made you feel. Being as detailed as possible will help your partner understand your point of view and will present the best (and sometimes obvious) ways to resolve the issue. Often times, individuals begin arguing about crumbs on the counter and it turns into “and I hate when you do this and I get annoyed when you do that!” Stay focused on what occurred here and now to upset you.

#3. Avoid Generalizing-Try not to say, “you always” or “you never” because these words cause people to be defensive and could cause your spouse to lash out at you.

#4. If Your Spouse Says You Do Something, Then You most-likely do… (Trust Your Spouse)-Your partner will say that you do something and your response is, “I DO NOT!” Trust that your spouse knows you well enough by now that he/she will not lie to you about what he/she sees.
#5. Avoid Personal Insults-Don’t say things that you can’t take back (and will regret later on). Attacking your spouse’s character or appearance is something that may truly hurt them and they will remember it and dwell on it because it came from your mouth.

#6. Listen (You May Learn Something)-You are NOT always going to be right! Listen to what your spouse is saying when you have a conflict. This way you will learn what went wrong and avoid doing it again.

#7. Confront to Resolve, Not to Win-This is not a competition or a game. The sooner you both realize that the happier you will be. Think about it, no one truly wins when you argue. Winning is what happens when you’re able to resolve an issue and not re-visit it.

#8. Always Remind Spouse that You Love Him/Her-I will stand by this every time. Let your partner know that you love them after your issue is resolved. Using those three words is the most obvious way, but a warm embrace or a passionate kiss is another great way to lighten the mood/tension between you two. And hey–there’s nothing wrong with making-up all night long…

Tell us: What do you think about this list of ways to fight fair as a newlywed? What will you do differently the next time you and your spouse find yourselves in an argument to avoid WWIII?

Newlywed Social Networking: Stop Snooping!

You may have heard a lot of newlywed social networking news stories recently. A couple suddenly has major issues because one person decided to poke around on another’s Facebook page or MySpace page. This tends to occur when one person becomes curious about their partner and their online activities. Who is he friends with? Who follows her page updates? Sometimes newlywed curiosity can spiral out of control and before you know it, you’re surfing your spouse’s Facebook page and suddenly the door opens and you’re caught red-handed. What happens to your relationship then?

That’s why trust is such an important part of a relationship. You’ve dated, fallen in love, and gotten married. Why should things suddenly change? Why should curiosity about your loved one’s online social life get in the way of being happy?

There are some who automatically think, “We’re married, so what’s mine is yours, and I should know everything going on in your life.” Sure, sharing and being close is an important part of a happy, healthy marriage, but let’s face it – everyone needs a bit of alone time as well as privacy in their life. Each of you is still an individual and will want to do different things. Though you are a couple and sharing your life together is a wonderful thing, it can feel equally good to just be on your own for a bit. To post some Twitter updates and joke with Facebook friends – and trust that your spouse won’t go rooting around in them.

Privacy goes a long way in the trust department. Having a healthy amount of privacy – online and offline – means that your partner trusts you and vice versa. There are some people who might say, “I wouldn’t mind if my spouse looked at my Facebook page. I don’t have anything to hide.” True, you probably don’t. But how would it make you feel if you came home to see your partner hitting the mouse button and peering through all your social details – without your permission? At the very least, it would make you uneasy. Curiosity or not, it shows a lack of trust as well as a lack of respect. If there is curiosity that must be satisfied, politely ask your partner your questions and see what the answers are.

There’s no need to let something as ridiculous as Facebook or a rogue tweet come between you and your spouse, so keep your lines of communication open and your social networking accounts private!

Do you have any stories about newlywed social networking? We’d love to hear your discoveries, compromises & solutions, so please leave a comment.

Newlywed Art Advice: Compromise

Do you need some newlywed art advice? Art is defined as: the creation of works of beauty or other special significance. That being said, there is a very wide range of ideas about what is and isn’t art. Newlyweds are the most likely segment of the population to experience this variance in a very personal way. As you combine your worldly goods, you may be in for some surprises in the art department!

For example, you may have a framed Monet print and know that it is indeed art by most people’s standards. Your husband may see the same print as a really blurry elementary school project while his framed Chicago Bulls poster (from college) is worthy of the prized spot over your living room couch. What can a newly married couple do?

Hopefully you both can compromise on your tastes and use your collective art to decorate your home. If your partner has one particular piece that drives you crazy, consider offering him a trade. Tell him he can select any item out of your wall art to give to Good Will as long as you can do the same thing. You need to be willing to part with the fuzzy kitty inspirational poster from high school if you expect him to get rid of something that is important to him too.

Compromise is the way to go unless your beloved’s art collection includes naked women that you find offensive, images of his previous girlfiend(s)/wife, or truly gory/scary stuff. In that circumstance you need to hold your ground and stoop to calling his mother about the situation if necessary. For most of you, you know your spouse well enough that art won’t result in major conflict in your marriage. If there is some unhappiness about a certain wall or section of your home, consider selecting a piece for that spot together. That way you’ll both enjoy the view.

Need new art for your house or to compromise? Art.com is giving one of our newlywed blog readers the chance win an 18×24 printed canvas image (or 25×31 framed image) valued at $150 to hang in their home! Talk about an inspiring giveaway! The Photos to Art feature on Art.com will allow our winner to upload an image of her choice (be it wedding, honeymoon or even a favorite family photo) and translate it onto high-quality photographic paper or artist-grade stretched canvas. The result? A high-quality, large-scale, beautifully-finished and ready-to-hang wall art.

Ready to win our awesome November art giveaway? Leave a comment on this, or any of our Newlywed Art Posts on Mondays this month and you’ll be automatically entered to win. Tell us all about the photos from your wedding and honeymoon. We’d love to know what image you’d want to have printed and where you plan to hang it. The randomly selected contest winner will be announced on November 30th!! If we don’t hear back from the winner within 2 weeks, we will randomly select a new winner to make sure someone ends up with this great goodie!

What did you think of our newlywed art advice? Was it helpful? We’d love to hear from you in a comment.