In Laws

Looking for name change advice or some tips for newlywed life? The MissNowMrs experts have created state-specific name change articles and checklists for you. We’ve chronicled our recommendations for how to travel while changing your name AND how to handle voting during the transition.

We’ve also compiled our best guidance for how to handle difficult sister in laws, holidays as newlyweds, the ever-annoying baby questions, and much more. Why? Because, while we are name change experts, we’re also newlywed wives, moms, and sisters.

We hope our name change advice articles help smooth your transition to your new name, and a whole new phase of life. Congratulations and best wishes from the entire MissNowMrs team!

Your First Christmas:Tips For Handling Your In-Laws

Oh in-laws. Can’t live with them and can’t live without them. Well, maybe. But the fact of the matter is that the majority of people have in-laws – mothers, fathers, and siblings – and eventually have a holiday where everyone can come together and celebrate. We’ve all heard comedians joke about awful in-laws and dealing with them at the table, but that doesn’t have to be your holiday experience!

Talk to your spouse first. You may be surprised at how helpful it is to know how your partner spent their holidays, that way you can better predict how your in-laws may act. Some families place more significance on some holidays than others. For example, to you Christmas Eve may not be that big of a deal, but your spouse’s family has a whole set of traditions and all sorts of things that they do on that day.

Before in-laws even come over, it might be a good idea to lay out a few basic agreements. For example, you and your spouse have just moved into your new home. Your spouse’s mother typically cooks the turkey for Christmas. But since the holiday is at your home, you want to do the cooking. Let them know! You can always suggest that they bring a favorite dish or two, or that you’d love some help from your mother-in-law, but overall, you want to be the one doing the entertaining.
Taking the time to talk to your in-laws about certain things can help holidays go more smoothly. This can be especially true if you come from a different cultural or religious background than your in-laws. By prepping them beforehand, they will have a better idea of what to expect as well as how to act. Remember, this is your home and your new life – everyone may have their own family traditions, but now is the time for you to start a few traditions of your own. Don’t let family members (from either side!) try to control everything.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t be flexible. If someone suggests an idea and you love it, then go for it! Holidays are about being together, having a good time, and enjoying one another’s company. Allowing variety into the holiday will keep it from being predictable and dull. You shouldn’t have to work too hard in order to make a holiday memorable or special.

By keeping the lines of communication open, remaining versatile when it comes to new ideas, and focusing on having a good time, your holiday should be met with plenty of love and lots of good cheer. Do you have any stories of how you prepared for your first holiday with your in-laws? We’d love to hear about it!

Addressing Your In-Laws: Mom, Mrs. So-And-So, or Something Completely Different?

Anxious about addressing your in-laws? If there’s one thing you’re almost certain to get along with your mate once you get married, it’s in-laws. There are many cases in which you will already know your in-laws, even get along great with them, be invited to family functions and so forth. All of this long before you get married. If this is the case, then great! You’re probably already past the stage of awkward introductions and being unsure of what exactly to call your spouse’s mother.

However, there are occasions in which you may have never had the chance to meet them before the wedding. Perhaps everyone lives too far away for any visits. Whatever the case, at some point the manner of addressing your in-laws will come up…especially during the holidays with holiday cards, gift tags and party introductions.

In general, as with any person, the correct way to start off is by using the traditional Mr. and Mrs. forms. Doing so shows respect and doesn’t make anyone feel uncomfortable, as opposed if you just start calling one of your in-laws “Mom” right away. As time goes by, you may feel more comfortable with them and can either try to transition into a first name basis on your own, or ask if it is all right for you to call them by something different.

Respect is the key to the whole situation. Some families will correct you the moment you finish – but in a good way. Such as:
“Why, hello, Mrs. Winston.”
“Oh, don’t be silly – you can call me Gail!”

And suddenly you’re already on a first name basis. A lot of married couples simply stick with first names. They are familiar enough with their in-laws for this to be normal (after all, Gail is her name).
Of course, there is also the occasional switch to Mom or Dad. Families that are close may transition into this naturally and feel comfortable with it. In-laws might encourage you to call them by these names. If you have no problems with this, by all means call them Mom or Dad. But if you are at any time uncomfortable with doing so, then quietly sit down with them and explain your reasons. They should understand your feelings and allow you to call them by either their first name or by using Mr. or Mrs.

The general rundown of addressing in-laws tends to go from the most formal to the least formal. So unless someone insists you use something else straight from the get-go, over time you should be able to move through these with relative ease: Mrs. Winston – Gail – Mom.

What do you call your in-laws? Were there any truly uncomfortable moments at the beginning of your relationship or unusual name requests when it came to addressing your in-laws? We’d love to hear your comments!

When Your Sister-In-Law is a Jealous #$%^*

If you were expecting a new shopping and spa buddy, it may seem strange that your sister-in-law would be jealous of you and your spouse, but it’s surprisingly common. So, we have some helpful tips for what to do when your sister in law is jealous!

The issue may arise because she sees you as a potential threat to her bond with her sibling. She’s had them for so many years either as a big sibling to look up to or a loveable little brother/sister. But, now you’re in the picture, permanently, most likely with a new last name. Sometimes a sister-in-law will view this as her sibling being taken away from her. Now you get them all to yourself and she gets less time to be with them.

Kill Your Sister In Law with Kindness

Even though you know this isn’t true, you may find yourself stuck with a rude and downright mean sister-in-law. The troubling part is that while you may get hit with the brunt of her crappy attitude, your spouse may never see any of it. This may lead to many frustrating discussions in which you try to tell your partner about her bad behavior, only to be told it’s nonsense and the sister-in-law is not the person you are making her out to be.

Her behavior can vary. She may completely ignore you when you are talking or she may say rude things and, in general, be very negative. Whatever her attitude, it’s important that you not react to it. Remember – she is the one with the problem. Not you. There’s no reason to let her anger and issues get to you. Instead, you can kill her with kindness. People often don’t know what to do when they are mean and instead of seeing a frustrated response, get a smile and a pleasant comment. If she sees you as easily angered or flustered, then she will realize she has control.

Take Back Control

Your sister-in-law should not have control over you. You married your spouse because you loved them – anything she says should not be able to change that. You should plan to take back control (if necessary) by ignoring your sister-in-law at the right times and being polite the rest of the time. She will soon realize that everything negative that she does has no effect on you. This may result in her attempting to amp up her rudeness, but in doing so out of frustration, it may betray her to your spouse, thus bringing the whole issue into the light and shutting down the problem completely. Or she may discover that you aren’t there to steal away her beloved sibling and that you are a good person and she is in the wrong.

It can be frustrating and annoying, but by sticking to your guns when your sister-in-law comes around, you should be able to disarm the situation and eventually become friends with her. Still struggling with a sister in law who is jealous? Here’s another helpful article on the topic.

Name Change Help

While we can’t directly help you with your sister in law situation. We can absolutely help you with your name change. Check out our name change after marriage checklist for tips on saving time and stress!

Help Me Change My Name

Here’s a video about what to do when your sister in law is jealous