Newlywed Needs

Looking for name change advice or some tips for newlywed life? The MissNowMrs experts have created state-specific name change articles and checklists for you. We’ve chronicled our recommendations for how to travel while changing your name AND how to handle voting during the transition.

We’ve also compiled our best guidance for how to handle difficult sister in laws, holidays as newlyweds, the ever-annoying baby questions, and much more. Why? Because, while we are name change experts, we’re also newlywed wives, moms, and sisters.

We hope our name change advice articles help smooth your transition to your new name, and a whole new phase of life. Congratulations and best wishes from the entire MissNowMrs team!

Newlywed Love, Life and Family

Newlywed love, life and family… it’s so much to think about! You’ve said yes, you’ve said I Do, so what’s next on your life agenda? For some of us, it’s a promotion, a new job, a new home, or a dog, or maybe; dare I say it, becoming parents?! Whatever the case may be, we all have things on our list of “to-do’s” and we as women create a pretty picture in our minds of how things are going to be as we get older.

Falling in love, getting engaged, your wedding day, your marriage, being a wife, becoming a mother, and the list goes on! Obviously we all know that things don’t always work out just as we have planned, and that’s just life. If you think about it, it wouldn’t be half as interesting if things in life worked out ‘by-the-book’!

Having a few friends in the same boat as myself now, where we’ve now been married a few years, we’re finding that the number one topic of conversation is starting a family. Other popular topics of conversation also include: moving to a different location, purchasing a bigger home, trips that we want to take with our spouses, and so on!

So now we’re looking at our list of “to-do’s”, deciding what we would really like to accomplish before having kids, and re-structuring the remaining items based on finances and a more realistic time frame. In my opinion, it is most important to be on the same page as your spouse when planning to start a family. Make sure it is something you are both ready for in your life and that you have taken time for yourselves, to build on your relationship as a married couple!

Please share your thoughts with us! We would love to hear how your handling newlywed love life and family.

Fight Fair as a Newlywed and Beyond

It’s important to know how to fight fair as a newlywed, if you want your marriage to last. Do you and your spouse disagree on one little thing and somehow it turns into an all-out brawl where you’re screaming about things that happened months or even years ago? If so, one or both of you may be fighting…DIRTY! Below are useful newlywed tips on how to fight fair; and if you use them, you’ll find yourselves in a happier, healthier marriage.

#1. Face Your Fear of Confrontation and Discuss the Issue as soon as Possible-You can’t resolve an issue that you’re too afraid to bring up. It’s time to realize that you have to discuss things that bother you in order for you and your spouse to truly be a team. Marriage requires two people, so speak up! Bottling up your problems will only result in a bigger blowout later on. If you’re in public or somewhere that you don’t feel comfortable resolving the issue at least acknowledge that there IS an issue and set a specific time to talk about it when you’re in a better place/frame of mind.

#2. State exactly what’s bothering you and Stick to the Issue at Hand-Be clear about what specifically made you upset and how it made you feel. Being as detailed as possible will help your partner understand your point of view and will present the best (and sometimes obvious) ways to resolve the issue. Often times, individuals begin arguing about crumbs on the counter and it turns into “and I hate when you do this and I get annoyed when you do that!” Stay focused on what occurred here and now to upset you.

#3. Avoid Generalizing-Try not to say, “you always” or “you never” because these words cause people to be defensive and could cause your spouse to lash out at you.

#4. If Your Spouse Says You Do Something, Then You most-likely do… (Trust Your Spouse)-Your partner will say that you do something and your response is, “I DO NOT!” Trust that your spouse knows you well enough by now that he/she will not lie to you about what he/she sees.
#5. Avoid Personal Insults-Don’t say things that you can’t take back (and will regret later on). Attacking your spouse’s character or appearance is something that may truly hurt them and they will remember it and dwell on it because it came from your mouth.

#6. Listen (You May Learn Something)-You are NOT always going to be right! Listen to what your spouse is saying when you have a conflict. This way you will learn what went wrong and avoid doing it again.

#7. Confront to Resolve, Not to Win-This is not a competition or a game. The sooner you both realize that the happier you will be. Think about it, no one truly wins when you argue. Winning is what happens when you’re able to resolve an issue and not re-visit it.

#8. Always Remind Spouse that You Love Him/Her-I will stand by this every time. Let your partner know that you love them after your issue is resolved. Using those three words is the most obvious way, but a warm embrace or a passionate kiss is another great way to lighten the mood/tension between you two. And hey–there’s nothing wrong with making-up all night long…

Tell us: What do you think about this list of ways to fight fair as a newlywed? What will you do differently the next time you and your spouse find yourselves in an argument to avoid WWIII?

Newlywed Social Networking: Stop Snooping!

You may have heard a lot of newlywed social networking news stories recently. A couple suddenly has major issues because one person decided to poke around on another’s Facebook page or MySpace page. This tends to occur when one person becomes curious about their partner and their online activities. Who is he friends with? Who follows her page updates? Sometimes newlywed curiosity can spiral out of control and before you know it, you’re surfing your spouse’s Facebook page and suddenly the door opens and you’re caught red-handed. What happens to your relationship then?

That’s why trust is such an important part of a relationship. You’ve dated, fallen in love, and gotten married. Why should things suddenly change? Why should curiosity about your loved one’s online social life get in the way of being happy?

There are some who automatically think, “We’re married, so what’s mine is yours, and I should know everything going on in your life.” Sure, sharing and being close is an important part of a happy, healthy marriage, but let’s face it – everyone needs a bit of alone time as well as privacy in their life. Each of you is still an individual and will want to do different things. Though you are a couple and sharing your life together is a wonderful thing, it can feel equally good to just be on your own for a bit. To post some Twitter updates and joke with Facebook friends – and trust that your spouse won’t go rooting around in them.

Privacy goes a long way in the trust department. Having a healthy amount of privacy – online and offline – means that your partner trusts you and vice versa. There are some people who might say, “I wouldn’t mind if my spouse looked at my Facebook page. I don’t have anything to hide.” True, you probably don’t. But how would it make you feel if you came home to see your partner hitting the mouse button and peering through all your social details – without your permission? At the very least, it would make you uneasy. Curiosity or not, it shows a lack of trust as well as a lack of respect. If there is curiosity that must be satisfied, politely ask your partner your questions and see what the answers are.

There’s no need to let something as ridiculous as Facebook or a rogue tweet come between you and your spouse, so keep your lines of communication open and your social networking accounts private!

Do you have any stories about newlywed social networking? We’d love to hear your discoveries, compromises & solutions, so please leave a comment.

Newlywed Art Advice: Compromise

Do you need some newlywed art advice? Art is defined as: the creation of works of beauty or other special significance. That being said, there is a very wide range of ideas about what is and isn’t art. Newlyweds are the most likely segment of the population to experience this variance in a very personal way. As you combine your worldly goods, you may be in for some surprises in the art department!

For example, you may have a framed Monet print and know that it is indeed art by most people’s standards. Your husband may see the same print as a really blurry elementary school project while his framed Chicago Bulls poster (from college) is worthy of the prized spot over your living room couch. What can a newly married couple do?

Hopefully you both can compromise on your tastes and use your collective art to decorate your home. If your partner has one particular piece that drives you crazy, consider offering him a trade. Tell him he can select any item out of your wall art to give to Good Will as long as you can do the same thing. You need to be willing to part with the fuzzy kitty inspirational poster from high school if you expect him to get rid of something that is important to him too.

Compromise is the way to go unless your beloved’s art collection includes naked women that you find offensive, images of his previous girlfiend(s)/wife, or truly gory/scary stuff. In that circumstance you need to hold your ground and stoop to calling his mother about the situation if necessary. For most of you, you know your spouse well enough that art won’t result in major conflict in your marriage. If there is some unhappiness about a certain wall or section of your home, consider selecting a piece for that spot together. That way you’ll both enjoy the view.

Need new art for your house or to compromise? Art.com is giving one of our newlywed blog readers the chance win an 18×24 printed canvas image (or 25×31 framed image) valued at $150 to hang in their home! Talk about an inspiring giveaway! The Photos to Art feature on Art.com will allow our winner to upload an image of her choice (be it wedding, honeymoon or even a favorite family photo) and translate it onto high-quality photographic paper or artist-grade stretched canvas. The result? A high-quality, large-scale, beautifully-finished and ready-to-hang wall art.

Ready to win our awesome November art giveaway? Leave a comment on this, or any of our Newlywed Art Posts on Mondays this month and you’ll be automatically entered to win. Tell us all about the photos from your wedding and honeymoon. We’d love to know what image you’d want to have printed and where you plan to hang it. The randomly selected contest winner will be announced on November 30th!! If we don’t hear back from the winner within 2 weeks, we will randomly select a new winner to make sure someone ends up with this great goodie!

What did you think of our newlywed art advice? Was it helpful? We’d love to hear from you in a comment.

10 Newlywed Stress Busters (Under $10)!

Looking for newlywed stress busters? There’s only so much time in a day and not much of it is spent on you! So take a minute to think about when you can remove yourself from the stresses of your world, and make YOU your only responsibility. It is important to spend some time clearing your head and getting rid of the stress built up from the day.

So to get you started, I’ve put together a few ideas that may interest you and possibly spark some new ideas of your own! The holidays are around the corner, so start de-stressing right now (before it builds up inside)… and because the holidays are coming- let’s be mindful of our wallets!

Here are a few of my favorite newlywed stress busters under $10.00:

Break out a movie- better yet, how about a soothing workout DVD! I particularly like Pilates every once in awhile to throw my body for a curve, and it’s relaxing pace allows for you to concentrate on the different poses. It’s a great mental exercise as well, because when you’re going through the motions on a cardio machine at the gym- you’re still thinking about your responsibilities!
Get a massage—from your spouse of course! Since going to a masseuse can be a little pricey, and besides you’ll enjoy it more this way!
Bath & Body- It Works! Pick a night after work, go home, and pour a nice warm bath for yourself- and most importantly, leave your cell phone in another room!! I can’t think of anything more relaxing than a bubble bath! Go to the store, pick out your favorite fragrance, and enjoy! There’s plenty to choose from for under $10.
Life isn’t always a walk in the park- but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take one once in awhile! If it’s not exactly 70 degrees outside, throw your scarf and gloves on and pick up your favorite latte on your way! Sunshine and fresh air does wonders!
Remove yourself from the world, and indulge in a book! The most obvious way to not think about your own responsibilities and ‘get away’ is to get into someone else’s world! Find the latest book by your favorite author, or try something new and try reading a chapter a night; it will give you something to look forward to!
PJ’s, a chick flick, and yes, a big bowl of ice cream! This is an instant mood-booster!
Turn on some music at home, light some aromatherapy candles and either relax on the couch, or cook-up your favorite recipe (but only if you enjoy cooking, otherwise that will just stress you out more)!
Plan a picnic, with your spouse or your favorite gal pal! Be sure grab a blanket and throw in a bottle of vino!
Thrifty Shopping! Shopping is always an automatic stress-reliever for me, although sometimes not in my budget! So check out your local thrift store and browse around! There are always great treasures to find! Don’t want leave home— try Ebay!