Name Change Advice

Looking for name change advice or some tips for newlywed life? The MissNowMrs experts have created state-specific name change articles and checklists for you. We’ve chronicled our recommendations for how to travel while changing your name AND how to handle voting during the transition.

We’ve also compiled our best guidance for how to handle difficult sister in laws, holidays as newlyweds, the ever-annoying baby questions, and much more. Why? Because, while we are name change experts, we’re also newlywed wives, moms, and sisters.

We hope our name change advice articles help smooth your transition to your new name, and a whole new phase of life. Congratulations and best wishes from the entire MissNowMrs team!

5 Newlywed Rules to Throw Out the Window

One of the most annoying things that will happen to you upon becoming a newlywed is receiving unwanted, unsolicited advice from other people (both single and married)! They will bombard you with all of the ‘Newlywed Rules’ and tell you how to live your life the ‘right way’ in order to be happy. My question is: How do they know what makes you and/or your spouse happy? And what’s with the cookie-cutter way of living life, anyway?! Some of the most common rules are as follows along with reasons why you don’t have to follow them:

Rule #1: Spend All Free Time Together
We are hoping that you already realize that this is not possible and could be quite boring! If you DO end up spending ALL your free time together you’re not only going to run out of interesting things to talk about, but you will also lose touch with your family and friends. You may also find yourselves fighting more because you are sick of each other! So, get out once in awhile and enjoy catching up with friends or having time to yourself!

Rule #2: Stop Hanging Out with your Single Friends
Wait, what?! The idea that you and your spouse are a married couple and should work on replacing your single friends with other married couples is just ridiculous. It’s a great idea to have a mix of married and single friends so that when you decide to host a dinner or Super Bowl party there’s more than just one ‘type’ of person in your crowd. It will make for more interesting and dynamic conversation and an overall better time!

Rule #3: You Must go Out on Dates to be Happy
While my husband and I stick to having at least one Date Night per week (we don’t have children yet—and realize that it gets trickier when you add them to the mix), it is not necessary that you and your spouse go OUT on a date each week. Date Night doesn’t always have to mean dinner at your favorite restaurant and a movie at your local theater (that could seriously put a strain on your budget)! Your date could consist of a night at home cuddled up on the couch with your spouse. Do what works for the two of you and don’t worry about what the definition of a date is to other couples.

Rule #4: You should both Share a Last Name/Bank Account/Gym or Country Club Membership/Etc.
Nowadays 86.6% of women change their name in some way due to marriage, but that doesn’t mean that you have to. Many women are opting to have 2 last names (with or without a hyphen) or to replace their middle name with their maiden name. Now men are even changing their last name to their wife’s last name upon marriage and some couples are changing both their last names to a new last name! With all these choices out there, why would you worry about what someone else wants you to do?

It’s okay if you and your spouse decide to keep your own last names or separate bank accounts and just split the bills in half. Believe me, companies are going to accept your payment whether it comes from one check or a combination of two checks—they just want the bill paid on-time! As for your gym membership–if you attend a private Yoga or Pilates class and your spouse has a membership at a different gym, don’t feel obligated to make changes to your fitness routine. Sometimes you can save money by combining your memberships, but if there’s not that big of a difference in price or you’re not worried about losing the money than keep attending your own classes (and consider it ME time)!

Rule #5: Make a 5-Year Plan
If you are the type of person who sets goals and has a better chance of achieving them by writing them down on paper, than do it! Some people tend to stress out if they don’t reach their goals in the time they allotted to do so and end up dwelling on the idea of failure when this happens. If you are more-likely to freak out if you miss a deadline, then making a 5-year plan could be a bad idea for you. You will drive your spouse crazy with your what ifs, should have, could have, would haves! Why not just enjoy the first few years of marriage without having to worry about your deadlines to: buy a house, start a new career, start a family, go on a 2-week European vacation, etc.?

We spend so much time worrying about someone else’s idea and vision of the perfect life that we forget to just LIVE ours! Remember, it doesn’t matter what other people are doing to make their marriages work because they aren’t a part of yours. No two marriages are exactly alike and what works your grandparents, parents, in-laws and friends may not work for you. So, focus on making sure you and your spouse are happy. Keep communicating, laughing, loving, and enjoying your fabulous life together!

We’d love hear what crazy ‘Newlywed Rules’ you’ve heard since your nuptials. Leave us a comment below and start a discussion with other Newlyweds!

3 Secrets to Preventing Newlywed Weight Gain

After your fiancé pops the question, there are a million thoughts that immediately run through your head, and then the planning begins! Along with the preparation for a wedding, most newlyweds also begin physically preparing themselves to fit into the wedding attire they’ve always dreamed of. This is usually accomplished through strict dieting and long hours at the gym! You probably haven’t thought about newlywed weight gain. Have you?

Well, what happens after the wedding? Your time is no longer consumed with wedding plans and it can be very easy to put on those extra few pounds, so get your spouse on board with you and come up with a diet and fitness plan to suit the both of you!

Healthy lifestyle tips and sites to help avoid newlywed weight gain

1. Healthy eating is an important concept when trying to loose or maintain your weight, but shopping healthy is probably the most important! If you and your spouse decide to establish a healthy lifestyle and learn to eat healthy early on in your marriage, it’s easier to maintain this habit down the road! Find yourself some healthy recipes, and construct your grocery list from there. Check out one of my favs: EatingWell.com. Try to stay away from the junk when you’re shopping; this is a true test of will-power ladies. As you know the more accessible it is, the more frequently you’re going to help yourself and indulge! And remember the golden rule… do not go grocery shopping when hungry!

2. If you’re like me, then you’ve tried every diet regimen out there and have completely exhausted your ‘dieting’ efforts, and now realize that not all diets were made for every BODY, because not all bodies are created equal, so decide what works best for you! Diets are often times short-lived, so just deciding to eat healthy, and watching portion sizes can be the key. Check out WebMD’s breakdown of healthy eating and diet. Sign up for their email newsletter and you’ll receive some cool healthy recipe ideas as well!

3. Some of you may already have your own routine at the gym and enjoy your alone time when exercising, but working out a few days with your spouse will give you the extra push your body needs. If you’re not a gym go-er, home video workouts is the new craze to really whip yourself into shape. If this is something you and your hubby can both commit to, it can be a fun activity and improve on teamwork! My personal favorite is: BeachBody.com.

Regardless of how you choose to exercise, it is important to find something you love. Remember to switch up your workout so that you’re not just going through the motions, so-to-speak, but also giving your fitness level an extra push! The summer months are the perfect time to take advantage of the warm weather when you have the opportunity, and plan your workout, outdoors! For some fitness tips and tricks around newlywed weight gain, check out what Self has to say.

Whatever you decide to do, do it together, you’ll be appreciative of each other’s support and establish a long, happy… healthy life together! You can also work together on your name change using our 20 step name change checklist.

Registry Entertaining: What to do with ALL of the new stuff in your kitchen!

Don’t miss our tips for registry entertaining! Newlywed bliss and tons of newlywed gifts…sounds great right? Now that you’re moved in and opened all the wedding gifts, you may be wondering “Why did I ever register for this?”. Most newlywed couples will agree that they might have gotten a tiny bit overzealous with the registry gun and may have even ended up with everything they asked for! Not to worry…we’ve come up with a few tips and ideas on how to utilize all the sparkly new kitchen equipment stuffed in your cabinets.

Blender: So you’re looking at your top-of-the-line blending technology in awe and wonder….and possibly wondering what to make first. While your first inclination might be a margarita, there are so many things you can make instead! Work your inner kitchen diva and whip up a batch of spicy summer gazpacho shooters. Williams-Sonoma has a great recipe that you can use the next time you end up hosting a neighborhood BBQ. You could also use your new blender to jump start a healthy summer diet with fresh fruit protein smoothies in the morning. Missing your girlfriends? Blend up one or more of the facial recipes at Hello Glow and invite them over for a fun face mask and a movie! If that margarita still sounds best…..you could surprise your best friend or hubby with an impromptu fiesta and let go amigo!

Panini Press: These great little machines elevate the sandwich from boring lunch option to savory party fare. Panini parties make for really simple and really fun registry entertaining! Invite a few friends over and lay out several sandwich ingredients for them to choose from. You can pick a theme to make the entire party/meal flow together, such as Italian Summer or All American. With the Italian theme you could serve any of the following: Italian sodas and wine for beverages, chicken, prosciutto, salami, any selection of Italian cheeses, roasted red peppers, fresh basil or fresh sage for sandwiches and then tiramisu for dessert! Worried you don’t know how to use your press? Sounds like a great time to do a test run dinner with your spouse. Have them read the instructions while you assemble two sandwiches. Pop them in the press and watch the clock. You’ll have a mini dinner party for two in minutes!

Wine Decanter: – Not only does this glassware improve the taste and bouquet of red wine, it also looks great as a wine bar or kitchen shelf decoration. Don’t pack your decanter away somewhere. Display it and be inspired to enjoy a nice glass of wine with your mate. Decanters improve even inexpensive bottles of wine, so take twenty minutes and unwind with your spouse tonight after work…just because you can!

Have you done any registry entertaining of your own? We’d love for you to share your tips and ideas in comment below.

Rushing the Future: The Worst Possible Idea for Newlyweds

As newlyweds are you rushing the future? As Elvis sang in his famous song “Only Fools Rush In”. When it comes to marriages, most would agree that these words define truth – marrying a person you hardly know can prove to be a thoughtless and sometimes even a dangerous decision

Your marriage was different, right? It wasn’t a hasty act. You two had time to get to know each other, and the thought of marriage wasn’t something that you rushed. Like many, you married someone with whom you see yourself having children and growing old.

Wait, what was that? Having children? Retiring? Getting old? It’s only natural to think of the future occasionally, but rushing things is the worst possible idea for newlyweds! Rushing the future may not just create an array of hard-to-meet expectations for your spouse, but alienate your significant other, creating feelings of anxiety that shouldn’t be there. You may even make your husband feel trapped in the marriage instead of being a happy member of the union.

The first few years of marriage are crucial for every married couple. During those years, responsibilities are divided, finances are joined and the spouses learn each other’s habits, traits they may dislike, and nuances they may have missed during the dating period. The time of adjustment, which starts after the wedding and the honeymoon, can last anywhere from a few months for up to a year, depending on a couple. It is NOT a good time to make important financial decisions, such as buying a house, or life-altering decision such as having a child. Just let these things occur as naturally as possible.

If, prior to the wedding, you and your fiancé created a “five-year plan” where you outlined all the steps you will be taking to achieve certain goals during the first five years of marriage, remember that unforeseen circumstances can significantly alter your plans or make it impossible to achieve your set goals in such a short period of time. Perhaps you envisioned your family building its future in a different location, provided one of you found a new job there, and, due to a difficult economic situation and job market flooded with great candidates, the two of you are unable to find anything. Once again, rushing things will only create stress on your marriage. Things will work out in due course.

The best thing you can do during the first year or two of your marriage is to take things slowly, listen to your partner, and communicate and spend quality time together while continuing to maintain your own interests and circle of friends. The future is inevitable. Just focus on loving each other and let it happen! There’s no need for you to be rushing the future.

Your Newlywed Guide To Dividing Up Household Responsibilities

Is dividing up household responsibilities a sore point in your marriage? Many couples struggle when it comes to the division of chores. If you were living together before you got married, it may be an easier process. But what if the two very different households merged, and the two members of the new family need to decide who does what without making the process too lengthy and too painful? There are ways to divide the responsibilities without over-complicating the process.

First – figure out which chores you hate. If you are a “neat-freak,” and your spouse can never be pictured holding a duster, you’re probably going to want to remain responsible for dusting and cleaning. This does not mean your partner should be completely excluded from this chore – perhaps vacuuming the carpet and furniture may seem like an exciting activity to do once in a while! Note that wherever machinery is involved, your husband may be more eager to participate in the task. So if, while you love the smell of freshly cut grass, you can hardly maneuver the loan mower – let your spouse do it!

Obviously, when dividing the responsibilities, it is important to realize that job responsibilities need to come first. After a hard day at work, your partner may be exhausted, and trying to come home and handle a week’s worth of laundry on a Tuesday evening just isn’t a good idea. Sound like your house?

Try to be more understanding. Perhaps it’s time to divide things a bit differently. Maybe once a month you can handle the laundry instead. The best idea? Make a list and stick to it. Revise the list after the week passes, addressing the items that have not been taking care of and what may be behind that problem.

What if you married someone affected by the rare condition domestic-itis? You know…the refusal to participate in chores of any kind? Depending on the cultural background and the household your spouse grew up in, your best efforts at persuasion might not work.

Don’t waste your time with an argument. Simply let your spouse know that you’ll be taking part of the budget to hire an individual who will help out around the house. That will either change the picture entirely or get you the help you need right away!

How does dividing up household responsibilities work in your marriage? We’d love to hear from you in a comment.