Chores

Looking for name change advice or some tips for newlywed life? The MissNowMrs experts have created state-specific name change articles and checklists for you. We’ve chronicled our recommendations for how to travel while changing your name AND how to handle voting during the transition.

We’ve also compiled our best guidance for how to handle difficult sister in laws, holidays as newlyweds, the ever-annoying baby questions, and much more. Why? Because, while we are name change experts, we’re also newlywed wives, moms, and sisters.

We hope our name change advice articles help smooth your transition to your new name, and a whole new phase of life. Congratulations and best wishes from the entire MissNowMrs team!

Ahh, Never a Dull Newlywed Moment!

So you fell in love with your spouse for so many different reasons, and at this point you’ve been together long enough that nothing should come as a surprise to you, right?! You’re married, and have already proven yourself to be this incredible wife (which you knew you would be)… however, were you prepared for the unspoken duties that were to come?!

Life is full of surprises, and not all things are easy and enjoyable. In fact, some things in life may even become repetitive and somewhat annoying, specifically for me, its household chores! So, let me begin with this disclaimer: I am so in love with my husband, and to his defense, he often times will help out with responsibilities around the house which I’m so thankful for! However, (not that I’m keeping track), but here is a list of…Are you kidding me moments…that I hope other wives can commiserate with:

1. Have you slowly started finding yourself picking up the empty dishes around the house, finding the scattered socks that never made it to the hamper, or the dirty tissues lying on the coffee table like it’s now the trash can?
2. Tell me you see the crumbs on the counter from the sandwich you just made…or should we get your eyes checked?!
3. We’re women, and when we’re sick we go to the Dr., right? Men- don’t go to the Dr. unless you give them an ultimatum, and/or schedule an appointment for them and drive them there! It is in your best interest to schedule this appointment sooner rather than later, as most men don’t seem to handle sickness quite like women do!
4. Hello, toilet seat!? OK, I’m not even going to get into this one!
5. My hubby helps me with some cleaning around the house so no complaints there, and I actually enjoy doing the cleaning myself, except for the bathrooms of course, so please tell me how does one manage to pee on the back of the toilet seat?!
6. Shaving cream goes on your face (for the most part) right? So how does it always end up splattered across the bathroom mirror?
7. Please check your pockets for gum, pens, etc…before giving me your laundry?!

Remember, life wouldn’t be half as interesting if all things were perfect, so be thankful for the small things in life that keep you on your toes, and make you the fabulous wife that you are! Now, here is your chance to let it all out, so please share with us the things that really grind your gears!

Splitting the Chores, Newlywed Style!

It’s official: no one likes doing chores. You’d always find that strange kid in high school who actually liked to do homework, but show me one person who actually likes to do all the chores that have to get done around the house and I’ll be duly amazed. Chores are the most mundane part of being married, but believe it or not lots of couples have huge fights over chores. Before you begin to argue over whose turn it is to do the dishes or who has to take the trash out, it’s a good idea to split up the chores in a way that’s agreeable to the both of you.

One of the biggest deciding factors on who is going to do what type of chore is who is going to be home and who is not. Some couples have similar work schedules, but quite often, in today’s economy, one spouse is working much later than the other, or on days that the other spouse has off. Before you can begin to split up all the household chores that you have to get done, you need to make sure that you set realistic goals. You can’t expect someone to take out the trash every Saturday morning, for instance, if they have to be at work at 7 am on a Saturday. Take their work load into consideration before you even begin negotiating.

When you start splitting up the chores, volunteer to take everything that you truly enjoy doing. Do you like making meals? Do you not mind folding laundry? Put on the table everything that you actually enjoy doing. If you both like to do similar things, you can bargain for things that you dislike to do, like taking out the trash or sweeping the floor.

While some couples divide up each and every chore, others are more fluid in their division. For instance there are many couples where the wife is in charge of most of the household chores (with a few thrown in for the man), while the husband is in charge of vehicle and yard maintenance. Or vice versa. What works best for you is what’s important, and that you both agree on the division of labor. And remember: if you ever start to have an issue over the chores that you’re supposed to be doing, don’t get upset or passive-aggressive, actually talk to your spouse about the situation. Bargains and changes can always be made!

What deals have you and your spouse made about chores? We’d love to hear about your division of labor!

Divvying Up The Newlywed Dirty Work

Newlywed dirty work. What’s that?! Newlywed couples often find themselves arguing over who’s going to take care of the chores in their daily lives. It’s tough when you both work full-time jobs or have opposite schedules to figure out what works best for you as a couple. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed by responsibilities and feel like YOU do it all, but before you rip into your spouse for not pulling his weight around the house think about everything he DOES take care of by making a list.

If your list is completely one sided, it may be time to discuss splitting the household chores ASAP for your own sanity! Some couples are lucky enough to work the same schedule allowing them to partake in chore duty together, even making them fun. If you and your spouse aren’t one of these couples, you can still allocate the chores and get them done on your own time.

Here are some of the most common, laborious chores that couples despise along with a few helpful tips on how to share the burden!

Cooking: One of you could prepare dinner and the other could be in charge of washing the dishes. You could even alternate nights and take turns trying new recipes with each other. One way to keep it interesting is to recipe swap with family members or friends. You may find that you and/or your spouse aren’t cut out to be the next Iron Chef, but that you enjoy cooking and most of all, the time spent learning how to cook together!

Cleaning: It’s best not to leave all the cleaning to one person (lets face it, it’s boring and it’s not fair!) A family member once told me that she kept her house ‘clean enough’ at all times just in case someone stopped by unexpectedly. I remember thinking at the time what wonderful advice that was from a full-time working Mother and it has stuck with me over the years. You don’t want to be embarrassed because you haven’t dusted in weeks or there are dirty dishes piled up in your sink.

So, you should designate a couple of hours one day per week to dusting, vacuuming and cleaning the rooms. It works out best if you divvy up the tasks (and switch from week to week to break up the monotony of your routine). If one day per week seems like too much work for your busy schedule, at least try to keep the rooms that your guests would see spotless and then clean the rest of your house as time permits!

Money: Ugh, bills! Lucky for newlyweds today, we have the option to pay our bills online alleviating us from having to sit down at the kitchen table and manually write out checks to every company–like our parents and grandparents did. However, it’s very common to allow one person to handle the finances leaving the other in the dark as far as where the money goes each month. Be sure that you both know what’s going on when it comes to your finances so that if one of you is out-of-town or unable to take care of the bills, the other one can simply fill-in. It’s easy to miss a payment if you don’t know when it’s due or worse, you don’t know how to access your online banking account to press the payment button!

Laundry: Hand-wash, hot, cold, colors, whites only, wash but don’t dry—with all these instructions who could blame a man for not wanting to voluntarily take on doing the laundry?! Some couples prefer to stick to the “I’ll do mine and you do yours” method, but if you wish to help each other out it is probably best to do it together the first few times. This way you could show your spouse how to separate the colors from the whites and explain what gets washed using what cycle, detergent, etc. This will ultimately (hopefully) keep him from shrinking your favorite shirt into something even Barbie wouldn’t fit into. Not to mention, you could have a make-out session during the spin cycle turning the laundry into something he will surely want to do again!

We’d love to hear your solutions for divvying up newlywed dirty work. Please share in a comment below!