Friends

Looking for name change advice or some tips for newlywed life? The MissNowMrs experts have created state-specific name change articles and checklists for you. We’ve chronicled our recommendations for how to travel while changing your name AND how to handle voting during the transition.

We’ve also compiled our best guidance for how to handle difficult sister in laws, holidays as newlyweds, the ever-annoying baby questions, and much more. Why? Because, while we are name change experts, we’re also newlywed wives, moms, and sisters.

We hope our name change advice articles help smooth your transition to your new name, and a whole new phase of life. Congratulations and best wishes from the entire MissNowMrs team!

Know Your Role: When to Speak & When to Keep Quiet

How do you know your role as a friend? When do you speak up, and when do you stay quiet? Obviously, we’re never going to get along with everyone that we cross paths with in life, but you hope to maintain and continue developing on certain relationships with those who have always been close to you! So, what do you do when one of your close girlfriends has fallen in love with someone whose presence annoys you and everyone else around you, and you find his company and conversations to be anything but enjoyable!?

Whether or not you have been personally faced with this issue, you most likely know someone who has. So a friend has been dating this guy for quite some time now, and you just know the ring is on its way! Often times, between the girlfriends, we will commiserate (gossip) together and play rock, paper, scissors, to see who is going to step forward, and express our concern to our friend.

This is an extremely fine line, as you could either end up helping her see your perspective and understand your worry, or you could end up losing a friend! I would believe the latter of the two happens more frequently than not, so you both or all end up losing in the end. I can see both sides of the situation, you want to support your friend and be there for her no matter what, but on the other hand, you want to ‘save’ her from what you believe to be an escalating bad situation.

After explaining this scenario to a neutral party, I believe I have heard the best advice yet, so I wanted to share it with you, and also find out your opinion. The next time you hear of this situation or you find yourself in it, put your own feelings aside and think about your friend’s feelings, by asking yourself these two questions:

1. Does she love this man and does he love her?
(Although you may find him to be personally annoying, do they seem to treat each other right, i.e. respect one another’s needs and wants in their relationship).
2. Are they truly happy together?
(Does your friend constantly have a smile on her face when they’re together and does she speak positively about him and their relationship)? This is where you will find your answer!

Have you found yourself struggling to know your role? Please share your advice with us, tell us how you reacted, and what was the outcome!

Five Fun Ways To Focus On Your Girlfriends

As a newlywed, don’t forget to focus on your girlfriends. It was just Valentine’s Day, and that means St. Patrick’s Day and Easter are around the corner. As I think about holidays, I wonder why there isn’t a day to celebrate your best friends. Being a newlywed can be all-consuming as you figure out your married life, but don’t forget your buddies from before you tied the knot. Here are a five ways to brighten the days of the ladies that are always there for you.

1. Send a card. Whether it’s sentimental or downright silly, a card will brighten a best friend’s day for as little as 99 cents. It’s really nice to find a surprise envelope in the midst of all the bills and catalogs that come in the mail every day.

2. Give her a call. Do you struggle to keep in touch with long distance girlfriends that have insanely busy schedules? Make a standing phone or skype date where you alternate who calls whom and maybe even plan to pour a glass of wine while you talk.

3. Plan a pedicure. Make a mutual plan to catch up while you have your toes painted. There’s something intensely girly and luxurious about going to a spa with a friend and chatting during your treatments. Be sure to look to see if there are any 2 for 1 specials in your area before you make your appointments!

4. Surprise her with a bouquet. You could leave flowers that you purchased at the grocery store on your buddy’s porch or send a succulent to her office. Just a few blooms will let her know how much you value your friendship and she’ll smile for the entire time that they last.

5. Make a playlist. Do you have songs that instantly remind you of your friend(s) and the times you’ve had together? Compile a list of your favorite friend songs and then make a Spotify playlist for all of you. It’s a great way to walk down the memory lane of your friendship during your daily commute.

How are you planning to focus on your girlfriends? Do you have any fun ways that you keep in touch? Please let us know in a comment.

Thankful Newlywed Thoughts

Are you struggling to find thankful newlywed thoughts? As a newlywed, it is easy to get caught up in the holiday rush and the aspects of how to juggle whose family to do what with, when. My advice to you: take a moment and realize how fortunate you are.

If you can keep the things that you are thankful for in the forefront of your mind, you’re guaranteed not to miss the reasons for the seasons that are upon us.

Ideas for Thankful Newlywed Thoughts:

Your Spouse – Not only have you met the person of your dreams…you married them! I can’t think of too many other things that are as amazing as being married and madly in love.

Security – You now have someone to have and hold in sickness and in health till death do you part. Just knowing that someone is going to be by your side for long haul is incredibly comforting.

Friends – There are people in the world that know all of your flaws and faults (some since childhood) and still love you. How great is that?

Family – Whether you’re working on making your own or thinking about your parents, family is a gift to be treasured. These are the people who have loved you before they even met you and want only the best for you.

The Holidays – While they may be stressful, holidays are the times we get to spend with all of the people we are thankful for. When you look at them this way, it’s much easier to stretch a bit to make sure you see everyone and celebrate together.

What are you thankful for this holiday season? Do you have a creative way to see all of your family members while remaining sane? We’d love to hear about it!

5 Signs Your Newlywed Husband is in a Bromance

Is your husband in a bromance? Does he have a guy friend that he is unusually close to? He’s always talking to him or about him and reminiscing about times they’ve had together—if so, it is very likely that you’re man is part of a bromance! Some of you may be thinking, a what?! Urban Dictionary’s definition of a Bromance is a close relationship between two males to such a point where they seem like a couple.

They are more common today than ever before due to the growing number of men (and women) waiting longer to get married—and staying single. Bromances are typically between 2 heterosexual males who have known each other for a long time (since childhood or college) and may even share a bond like brothers often do.

You may recognize some of the following celebrity bromances: Brad Pitt and George Clooney, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, P. Diddy and Notorious B.I.G. (in the early 90’s). Most guys tend to have at least one best friend or co-worker they really enjoy hanging out with/being around, so there’s no need to get upset or feel jealous. Although, these negative feelings are understandable if your spouse does any of the following:

5 signs your man is part of a bromance:

He talks to his bro more often than he talks to you or anyone else and they have so many inside jokes that to you it sounds like they’re speaking a different language.
He tells you (and anyone else who will listen) the story about that “one time…” over and over again!
He tells you that he’s going to run your thoughts/ideas on a big life decision (i.e. buying a house, changing your career or starting a family) by his friend to see if HE thinks it’s a good idea.
He spends more time/effort making plans for his man date than he does planning a date night for the two of you.
He tries to include his friend in any plans you’ve made including: dinner dates, concerts, cocktail parties, vacations, etc.

If any of the above mentioned signs struck a cord with you, you’re not alone! Hey ladies, you may have a girlfriend, sister or co-worker you enjoy being with too—so try not to judge! However, in all seriousness if your man is focused more on his bromance than on romancing you it could cause some bumps in your marriage.

It is best to sit down with your husband and communicate with him about how you feel in this situation. Allow him to explain to you why his buddy means so much to him (if you don’t already know the reason(s)). After all, it’s sweet that a he feels so strongly about his friendship and shows how loyal and sensitive he can be. Perhaps he just needs to be reminded that the two of you are in a union and need to spend quality time together—alone!

So tell us ladies, has your husband brought his man crush along to your romantic Valentine’s Day dinner date or something worse? Come on, we know you have stories of a Bromance between your spouse and his BFF, so please don’t keep them inside…share them with us and other readers!

Newly Married & All Wedding’ed Out

Have you and your spouse found yourselves to be all wedding’ed out!? I’m not talking about feelings of exhaustion from your own wedding, but suddenly now everyone you know is getting engaged and shower and wedding invitations are flooding your mail box! Everyone seems to say the same thing, that if you’re one of the first of your friends to get married, you will have one “golden” year where you will find yourself loading up your calendar with showers, bachelorette parties and weddings to attend.

Of course you are so excited for your friends, and look forward to sharing this special time with them and helping with preparations for their special day, but you may also find yourself feeling somewhat overwhelmed, and unfortunately not being able to accept all invites due to other schedule conflicts, and not to mention the obvious… budgetary restraints.

My husband and I have now attended 4 weddings so far this year and still have another 5 remaining in 2010! Is it selfish of me to want a vacation of my own? Well I’ve come to grips that it’s not going to happen this year, so my husband and I have promised each other that we’re going somewhere fabulous in 2011!

With so many weddings, and your free weekends becoming well… non-existent, how do you choose when to decline some invites, and… if you have mutual friends, when is it OK to decline some and accept others?! This is becoming an on-going, harder-to-handle issue as you certainly don’t want to create hard feelings!

There are a few obvious questions that come into play when making your decision on whether or not to accept your invite! Are you available that weekend? How far away is the wedding (is it a destination wedding with plane tickets and a car rental), and can you afford it? Is it a family member’s wedding? Did you invite them to your wedding? Did they attend your wedding?

I have recognized one thing when making your decision to attend or regretfully decline… Remember to make your decision based on logical factors, not based on whether or not that couple attended your wedding! Even if you’re not the best of friends, the couple must have thought highly enough of you in the first place to put you on their guest list, so you should take a moment to decide on how to mark your reply card. Sometimes you will be forced to decline if you have a conflicting event or just don’t have the funds, but do be sure to mail a card! It is considered courteous and acceptable to send a card and/or gift up to six months after the wedding date.

Remember, it’s an honor to be invited to someone’s wedding, so always be sure to handle your response with care… but above and beyond anything, be sure to respond! There’s nothing more awkward and annoying for a bride and groom than having to call guests who didn’t respond! So hang in there if you’re trudging through your golden year of weddings, and do yourself a favor and keep a photo book of the weddings you attend… its fun to reminisce about these events down the road!

How have you handled being all wedding’ed out? We’d love to hear your solutions in a comment.