Happiness

Looking for name change advice or some tips for newlywed life? The MissNowMrs experts have created state-specific name change articles and checklists for you. We’ve chronicled our recommendations for how to travel while changing your name AND how to handle voting during the transition.

We’ve also compiled our best guidance for how to handle difficult sister in laws, holidays as newlyweds, the ever-annoying baby questions, and much more. Why? Because, while we are name change experts, we’re also newlywed wives, moms, and sisters.

We hope our name change advice articles help smooth your transition to your new name, and a whole new phase of life. Congratulations and best wishes from the entire MissNowMrs team!

Newlywed Public Relations

As a single woman you knew exactly how you thought of yourself and had your own standards of public behavior. Now that you’re a newlywed, you need to consider the best way to represent you and your spouse as a couple. The spectrum ranges from Mr. & Mrs. Perfectly Plastic to Mr. & Mrs. Public Tantrum Throwers. Frankly, I don’t believe that anyone wants to be either of those extremes. How your relationship functions in and out of the public eye is completely up to you and your partner. A little prior planning can help prevent a poor public image of you and your marriage.

Here are a few newlywed tips for you:
Make a dispute plan. If you are both at a party or out with friends and disagree on something, what should you do? Some couples can shelve the issue and discuss it privately at a later time. Others might need to excuse themselves to immediately work things out. Having a plan in place before a potential blow up can help you both keep your cool in public, but still deal with the problem at hand.

Accentuate the positive. You shouldn’t fabricate stories about your perfect newlywed life, but you also shouldn’t do a dissertation on how terrible your husband is about leaving the toilet seat up. You married the love of your life…so be proud of him and shine a positive light on him. Imagine how you would feel overhearing your spouse complimenting your cooking versus complaining that it took you 45 minutes to pick out your party outfit. Take the initiative and say something sincerely pleasant about your husband, whether or not it makes it back to him, your marriage will be better for it!

Manage expectations. If you’re a social butterfly and your partner is more of a lone wolf, you might have very different expectations for how to enjoy a party. Perhaps your husband would like you to introduce him to other guys at the party with similar personalities or he might just want to hang out with you as you mingle. Discussing what would make both of you happyand comfortable before going out, should result in a great time for everyone instead of a potentially awkward “we should go now” situation.

Have fun. You know your husband and he knows you, so use that intimate knowledge to do things that you both enjoy. If you have a girlfriend who wants to go to the ballet, why drag your poor husband? Take your friend to the performance and then come home and go out for cocktails or a movie with your man. This way you both win and there’s no need for a difference in likes or dislikes to cause chaos in your lives!
Navigating as a newlywed couple can take some getting used to. By following our tips and putting each other first, you should have a smooth transition and be known as “that great newlywed couple” instead of some less than desirable description.
Do you have any tips for maintaining your relationship in public and in private? We’d love for you to share them in a comment!

Looking for more newlywed advice? Our experts are her to help

New Music, New Workout, New Newlywed You!

Ready for a new newlywed you? Working out is not only a physical thing, but it’s a mental thing too! In order to push yourself physically, you first need to mentally encourage yourself and think positively in order to reach your fitness goals! Do you find yourself walking out of the gym (or limping!) and you feel so much more mentally refreshed and happier than how you felt when walking in? Exercising has such a fantastic effect on your mental state-of-mind!

After having instructed various aerobics classes for many years, I will tell you that there is one factor that can completely alter your mindset, and ultimately control your workout, and that is listing to music while working on your fitness! I absolutely cannot step foot into a gym without my ipod, and if I forget it, then I forgo my workout for the day! I wanted to share a few tips, tricks, and songs with you, and I hope you’ll share yours with me too!

If you have not yet invested in an iPod or some mobile musical device, don’t worry, Christmas is coming! Hint, hint to your hubby! There have been so many studies conducted to show the correlation between listening to music and working out, here’s a good study to check out. Your heart rate increases, your energy level is up, and you’re pushing yourself harder! The way your body subconsciously responds to music, does wonders for your disposition, intermittent mood swings, especially during pms!

So–if you are in a rut, or going through the motions on the elliptical, here’s the deal! Number one- change up your play list! I have recently dedicated techno music to my cardio workouts and practice intervals! Try to maintain a pace that is in sync with the tempo of your music, so this way you’re switching it up from song-to-song!

Intervals are not only a big key to burning fat, but will keep you focused and concentrating on the amount of effort you’re putting into your workout! The more you focus and get into your workout, the better your new newlywed you results are going to be!
Here are some of my top fav cardio songs:

Black Eyed Peas- Pump It!
Black Eyed Peas- Hey Mama!
Rusted Root- Ecstacy
Cascada- Evacuate the Dance Floor
Christina Aguilera – Dirty
Flo Rida – Low
Petey Pablo – Show Me The Money
Pitbull and Enrique Iglesias- I Like It
Lady Gaga- Bad Romance
Usher – OMG

What songs are on your gym play list…any tried and true winners? Share them with us with a comment! We’d love to hear how you’re creating a new newlywed you.

5 Newlywed Rules to Throw Out the Window

One of the most annoying things that will happen to you upon becoming a newlywed is receiving unwanted, unsolicited advice from other people (both single and married)! They will bombard you with all of the ‘Newlywed Rules’ and tell you how to live your life the ‘right way’ in order to be happy. My question is: How do they know what makes you and/or your spouse happy? And what’s with the cookie-cutter way of living life, anyway?! Some of the most common rules are as follows along with reasons why you don’t have to follow them:

Rule #1: Spend All Free Time Together
We are hoping that you already realize that this is not possible and could be quite boring! If you DO end up spending ALL your free time together you’re not only going to run out of interesting things to talk about, but you will also lose touch with your family and friends. You may also find yourselves fighting more because you are sick of each other! So, get out once in awhile and enjoy catching up with friends or having time to yourself!

Rule #2: Stop Hanging Out with your Single Friends
Wait, what?! The idea that you and your spouse are a married couple and should work on replacing your single friends with other married couples is just ridiculous. It’s a great idea to have a mix of married and single friends so that when you decide to host a dinner or Super Bowl party there’s more than just one ‘type’ of person in your crowd. It will make for more interesting and dynamic conversation and an overall better time!

Rule #3: You Must go Out on Dates to be Happy
While my husband and I stick to having at least one Date Night per week (we don’t have children yet—and realize that it gets trickier when you add them to the mix), it is not necessary that you and your spouse go OUT on a date each week. Date Night doesn’t always have to mean dinner at your favorite restaurant and a movie at your local theater (that could seriously put a strain on your budget)! Your date could consist of a night at home cuddled up on the couch with your spouse. Do what works for the two of you and don’t worry about what the definition of a date is to other couples.

Rule #4: You should both Share a Last Name/Bank Account/Gym or Country Club Membership/Etc.
Nowadays 86.6% of women change their name in some way due to marriage, but that doesn’t mean that you have to. Many women are opting to have 2 last names (with or without a hyphen) or to replace their middle name with their maiden name. Now men are even changing their last name to their wife’s last name upon marriage and some couples are changing both their last names to a new last name! With all these choices out there, why would you worry about what someone else wants you to do?

It’s okay if you and your spouse decide to keep your own last names or separate bank accounts and just split the bills in half. Believe me, companies are going to accept your payment whether it comes from one check or a combination of two checks—they just want the bill paid on-time! As for your gym membership–if you attend a private Yoga or Pilates class and your spouse has a membership at a different gym, don’t feel obligated to make changes to your fitness routine. Sometimes you can save money by combining your memberships, but if there’s not that big of a difference in price or you’re not worried about losing the money than keep attending your own classes (and consider it ME time)!

Rule #5: Make a 5-Year Plan
If you are the type of person who sets goals and has a better chance of achieving them by writing them down on paper, than do it! Some people tend to stress out if they don’t reach their goals in the time they allotted to do so and end up dwelling on the idea of failure when this happens. If you are more-likely to freak out if you miss a deadline, then making a 5-year plan could be a bad idea for you. You will drive your spouse crazy with your what ifs, should have, could have, would haves! Why not just enjoy the first few years of marriage without having to worry about your deadlines to: buy a house, start a new career, start a family, go on a 2-week European vacation, etc.?

We spend so much time worrying about someone else’s idea and vision of the perfect life that we forget to just LIVE ours! Remember, it doesn’t matter what other people are doing to make their marriages work because they aren’t a part of yours. No two marriages are exactly alike and what works your grandparents, parents, in-laws and friends may not work for you. So, focus on making sure you and your spouse are happy. Keep communicating, laughing, loving, and enjoying your fabulous life together!

We’d love hear what crazy ‘Newlywed Rules’ you’ve heard since your nuptials. Leave us a comment below and start a discussion with other Newlyweds!

Rushing the Future: The Worst Possible Idea for Newlyweds

As newlyweds are you rushing the future? As Elvis sang in his famous song “Only Fools Rush In”. When it comes to marriages, most would agree that these words define truth – marrying a person you hardly know can prove to be a thoughtless and sometimes even a dangerous decision

Your marriage was different, right? It wasn’t a hasty act. You two had time to get to know each other, and the thought of marriage wasn’t something that you rushed. Like many, you married someone with whom you see yourself having children and growing old.

Wait, what was that? Having children? Retiring? Getting old? It’s only natural to think of the future occasionally, but rushing things is the worst possible idea for newlyweds! Rushing the future may not just create an array of hard-to-meet expectations for your spouse, but alienate your significant other, creating feelings of anxiety that shouldn’t be there. You may even make your husband feel trapped in the marriage instead of being a happy member of the union.

The first few years of marriage are crucial for every married couple. During those years, responsibilities are divided, finances are joined and the spouses learn each other’s habits, traits they may dislike, and nuances they may have missed during the dating period. The time of adjustment, which starts after the wedding and the honeymoon, can last anywhere from a few months for up to a year, depending on a couple. It is NOT a good time to make important financial decisions, such as buying a house, or life-altering decision such as having a child. Just let these things occur as naturally as possible.

If, prior to the wedding, you and your fiancé created a “five-year plan” where you outlined all the steps you will be taking to achieve certain goals during the first five years of marriage, remember that unforeseen circumstances can significantly alter your plans or make it impossible to achieve your set goals in such a short period of time. Perhaps you envisioned your family building its future in a different location, provided one of you found a new job there, and, due to a difficult economic situation and job market flooded with great candidates, the two of you are unable to find anything. Once again, rushing things will only create stress on your marriage. Things will work out in due course.

The best thing you can do during the first year or two of your marriage is to take things slowly, listen to your partner, and communicate and spend quality time together while continuing to maintain your own interests and circle of friends. The future is inevitable. Just focus on loving each other and let it happen! There’s no need for you to be rushing the future.

3 Secrets Every Newlywed Couple Needs to Maintain Happiness for a Lifetime

What’s the secret to maintain happiness in your marriage? As you return from your honeymoon, unpack your wedding gifts and begin settling into married life, you most likely start asking yourself if you and your partner will be as happy now as you were when you first met, fell in love and spent every single minute together as a pair.

Suddenly, you start imagining the worst – you and your spouse, bored with married life, unhappy and grumpy. The key to a happy marriage? Stop the negative thinking! Many couples stay happy together through the years, in spite of occasional arguments, financial difficulties or other hardships, because they work on keeping their marriage happy. “Happiness maintenance” should be a couple’s joint chore and you can achieve great success in performing it if you know these three simple secrets.

1. Understand what makes both you and your hubby happy. If you are an avid shopper and a shoe sale at Saks makes your heart beat faster and instantly fills you with glee, your new partner may not share your sentiments. Don’t be completely selfish. Instead, focus on mutual interests and activities that can fulfill both of you. Whether it is traveling, watching sports or decorating your house – try to do more of what makes the two of you happy! Once you do, you will realize that your marriage is becoming a more rewarding and peaceful journey every day.

2. Know that everyone argues, so when you have your first argument as a married couple, don’t automatically assume something horrible is happening. Communication is key and sometimes it can come in the form of an argument, but remember – never go to bed angry! “Finish” your argument by sincerely apologizing and assuring that both of you understand where the other person was coming from. You can agree to disagree on occasion, but carrying anger over to the bedroom is the worst thing a newlywed couple can do.

3. Remember how you felt that first time you heard “I love you” from your now partner-for-life? The bliss of that moment may have worn off, but the meaning and significance of these three little words never did, and you surely appreciate every opportunity to hear them. So does your spouse! Never pass a chance of saying “I love you” not just to remind him of how you feel but to give your husband a feeling of happiness! While the words are great, little “I love you” surprises are even better. Send your man a romantic text, make him heart shaped cookies or hide a love note somewhere you know he’ll find it and smile. Remember, love is all you need!

What small things have you done to maintain happiness in your marriage lately? Were any a huge hit or a total miss? We’d love to know!