Happiness

Looking for name change advice or some tips for newlywed life? The MissNowMrs experts have created state-specific name change articles and checklists for you. We’ve chronicled our recommendations for how to travel while changing your name AND how to handle voting during the transition.

We’ve also compiled our best guidance for how to handle difficult sister in laws, holidays as newlyweds, the ever-annoying baby questions, and much more. Why? Because, while we are name change experts, we’re also newlywed wives, moms, and sisters.

We hope our name change advice articles help smooth your transition to your new name, and a whole new phase of life. Congratulations and best wishes from the entire MissNowMrs team!

Being True to You After I Do: Maintaining Friendships

Friendship is a wonderful thing that can get a person through some of the roughest points he or she faces in life. Friends offer the shoulder to cry on, the tissue to dry the tears, and the invitation to fun activities that promote healing will, undoubtedly, hold great meaning for the rest of that person’s life. Unfortunately, maintaining a new marriage can often strain friendships and challenge them in ways that no one could quite expect. There are many reasons that this happens and it is a natural occurrence. For one thing, marriage changes the way that decisions are made. It is no longer a matter of what ‘I would like to do’ but rather a decision of what ‘we would like to do’. Furthermore, marriage often brings added responsibilities and a new group of people to spend time with. This doesn’t mean that a friendship ends when the words ‘I do’ are said, but that the relationship will require effort.

Scheduling – Time as a newlywed, must be split between the marriage, old friends, new friends, and family. Often the best way to maintain friendships with hurting your marriage is to schedule visits in advance. Whether the activities will be done as couples or just you will be attending, it is important to discuss them with your spouse to prevent calendar conflicts such as you planning to attend a girls’ happy hour on Friday but he promised that you’d both be at his mother’s dinner party. Newlyweds need to realize that there’s more than one person making plans!

Understanding How To Handle Change – As we grow up and get married, life changes happen. Some of those changes in direction will be pre-planned decisions and others might be unexpected. However, all can affect relationships, including those between you and your friends. The choice to start a family, to move, or even to change jobs can have major impact on the time you have available to spend with friends and also how your perspective aligns with theirs’. Being aware that changes will happen can make it easier to address them and even prevent them from causing issues within your friendships.

The Need for Boundaries – Though friendships are undeniably important, when you say your vows, you promise to think of your spouse first. Defining special times, places, and events that should be reserved for just the two of you is a good way to prevent hard feelings and big fights in the future. These boundaries will actually make it easier to maintain the friendship and balance it with the new life you have started with your spouse.
How do you maintain your friendships as a newlywed? Have you instituted a girls night in or Skype chats to stay connected? We’d love to hear your solutions and thoughts in a comment!

Newlywed Couples That Play Together Stay Together

Have you heard the saying, “Play together stay together?” There’s definitely something to it. Get up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, clean up, sit down, watch television, go to bed…repeat. Does this sound like the routine you have fallen into as a couple? If so, you are not alone. A large percentage of newlywed couples find that the pattern of work and living together in the same house can lead to a rather mundane existence when compared to the excitement of wedding planning and the honeymoon.

While a routine can be a good thing, it can also rob a relationship of its natural luster. While it might not be possible to go out every night, there are always ways to spice things up around the house.

Forgotten Fun – Many board games across this nation have been stashes away in closets, attics, or on book shelves to collect dust while occupants of the home turn to digital devices for entertainment. However, for the couple trying to find some fun to be had around the house, few things can beat a challenging board game. Whether it’s a lighthearted round of checkers or a competitively driven game of Scrabble, the activities can exercise the mind while improving your relationship. Looking to add some sizzle to game night? Simply play a body conscious game like twister after a glass or two of wine!

Digital Date Night – Okay, so you said goodbye to board games long ago and aren’t ready to head back to the store for more. That doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy a game with your spouse. Pick up the Wii remote or other video game controller and challenge him or her to play. Work together to destroy a common enemy or win an Olympic game and then celebrate your victory!

Get Creative – Have you always wanted to learn how to paint? Did you once have a knack for pottery? Or, have you been dying to try a new cooking technique? Rather than trying it by yourself, invite your spouse to join you. You may have to bribe him, but joint discovery of new talents is a great way to stay excited about your relationship. Learning more about each other and doing something new together is a fantastic way to stay excited about your relationship.

Honey Do’s – Take a quick look around your home…see room for improvement? Maybe there is an outdated light fixture, a fraying carpet, or a kitchen in desperate need of new paint. However small the project may be, when done together it can create a source for bonding. You can have a lot of fun looking for the perfect shade of paint or carpet and then installing it. Aside from improving your home, you’re also improving your relationship.

What do you do to play together? Do you have a standing card night, play a sport together or spend time in the kitchen getting creative? We’d love to hear about your togetherness activities in a comment!

Happy Wife…Happy Life Interpreted

Did you know that “Happy wife, Happy life” is an actual guy concept? Being a newlywed suddenly gives you a deeper insight into the male mind (sometimes good and sometimes scary). I took this concept to mean that my husband should do everything in his power to make me happy. Then I realized that my interpretation might be a bit selfish.

While your spouse should strive to make you happy, you are also responsible for your own happiness and your relationship’s healthiness. Setting reasonable expectations, communicating your needs and making an effort to invest in your own state of mind are the keys to staying happily married.

Here are a few ways to make the “happily ever after” even easier:

Tell Him What You Want – In the kitchen, yard and of course the bedroom. You may have married your soul mate, but that doesn’t make him a mind reader. You set your spouse up for failure by not letting him know that you really want him to take out the trash or bring you flowers on your birthday. Try to subtly let him know your needs and if that doesn’t work have a heart to heart discussion. Your husband wants to make you happy…so let him know how!

Be Realistic – We’d all love to have a mate that cooks, cleans, makes tons of money & writes amazing love letters, but most guys can’t do everything we wish for. Decide what is important to you and then figure out if you can supply part of your own expectations. For example, if you want every Friday to be a date night and your spouse has trouble remembering…do the research and make reservations or plan activities in advance. You’ll both win in this scenario.

Understand What He Wants – It sounds simple, but “happy wife happy life” also means that the wife’s happiness affects her husband’s. Do your best to be a happy person and meet your own needs. Then try to do things that will make your mate’s live happier. A surprise breakfast in bed or tickets to a hockey game on date night can go a long way in boosting the happiness quotient.

What do you need to be a happy wife? Has your spouse figured it out or have you both needed to talk about your expectations to maintain your newlywed bliss? Please leave a comment…we’d love to hear from you!

Cooperation in the Kitchen: Blending Tastes as Newlyweds

Working on blending tastes as newlyweds? There are many things that we develop as we grow from infants to adults. Among those is a sense of taste. We become used to what we knew from our childhoods and develop dislikes for certain foods. This is very natural and should be expected.

However, it must also be realized that the foods you favor may very well differ from the ones that your spouse would choose. The beginning of a marriage is all about recognizing and embracing those differences. It can be difficult, especially when two picky eaters are paired together and left with very few foods that seem to overlap.

The best thing that you can do for your marriage if food is a source of disagreement – and even if it’s not – is to share the duty of making the evening meals, and also the responsibility of grocery shopping. You will eventually come up with some common ground and recipes!

Go to the Grocery Store Together – Shopping for food together is a great way to find common tastes. There are many foods that might be overlooked when discussing the topic in your kitchen, which will become more apparent as your loop through the aisles of the local grocery store. For the first few shopping trips, allot you and your spouse extra time and don’t try to follow a list directly. Instead, walk together and pick out foods that you both like, which could be incorporated into meals that both of you will be happy eating.

Preparation – Once you have stocked your kitchen with foods you agree on, it is time to cook. Seasonings, rubs, marinades, sauces, and more go into the very best meals and that means finding common ground on these issues as well. Don’t panic if he or she likes the sauce a bit spicier than you can tolerate. The great part about marriage is that it is all about the two of you being happy. Also, don’t be afraid to do things in your own way. If you know that you both love chicken parmesan, but he likes more heat, then simply split the sauce into two small pans and allow him to add some more peppers and onions to his. Small efforts like this can go a long way toward maintaining the peace and happiness in the household.

Be Open Minded – Easy to say and hard to do, but even if you think you will hate a favorite food of your spouse’s give it a try…you might surprise yourself and like it! Even if you don’t, ask him what aspects of the dish make it his favorite…maybe it’s the sauce or how the flavors meld together. This information can help you create a dish that is similar, but something you will like too.

How are you handling blending tastes as newlyweds? We’d love for you to share any solutions or funny stories in a comment!

Newlywed Communication: 3 Tips for Success

One of the most integral parts of any great marriage is a couple’s ability to communicate effectively with each other and respect each others (often different) opinions. Many newlyweds struggle to find the balance of listening and being heard in the first years of marriage. After all, living with someone and being united with them requires new levels of patience, understanding, and self-control. When a co-worker upsets you, the disagreement is generally superficial, the boss will step in, or you can simply leave to take a breather and have an escape at home. The same is true when arguments arise with friends or extended family members. But, when you argue with your spouse, the rules change, so here are a few things to keep in mind:

Look for Visual Cues – Did you know that more than ninety percent of what you say does not come from your mouth? It has been found that it is the non-verbal actions of a person that provide most of the story. If you are failing to look at your partner when he or she is speaking, then chances are good that you are missing much of what has been said. It is also much easier to misinterpret something that is said if you do not see the non-verbal communications associated with the words.

Actively Listen – In addition to looking at him or her during the conversation, it is very essential to demonstrate that you were, in fact, listening and hearing everything that was said. Common phrases — such as ‘do you know what I mean?’, ‘what do you think?’, ‘am I crazy for feeling that way?’ – should not be ignored. Rather than just nodding your approval of what your partner has said, or starting on a tirade regarding everything you disagree with, be careful to respond meaningfully to those questions. These can be instant diffusers if handled correctly in a heated situation.

Know When to Temporarily End the Conversation – While the old saying ‘never go to bed angry’ still applies, it is unrealistic to believe that every argument throughout the life of your relationship will come to an immediate conclusion. Communication is essential, but sometimes it is just as important to know when to walk away. When tempers are flared to a level that distracts from hearing and understanding what is being said, then it is a good idea to take a moment to breathe. Don’t leave and stay away, but rather, take a moment apart to gather your thoughts, calm your nerves, and begin to think rationally again. At that point, return to your spouse and try to speak at a reasonable volume about what is bothering you.

The communication foundations you lay today will affect your relationship for a lifetime, so take the time to figure out the best ways to discuss highly charged topics and deal with confronting each other in a loving way. It will pay off, I promise! Just reading this blog post is a great step towards continuing your newlywed bliss. What discoveries have you made about communication as a newlywed?