Marriage

Looking for name change advice or some tips for newlywed life? The MissNowMrs experts have created state-specific name change articles and checklists for you. We’ve chronicled our recommendations for how to travel while changing your name AND how to handle voting during the transition.

We’ve also compiled our best guidance for how to handle difficult sister in laws, holidays as newlyweds, the ever-annoying baby questions, and much more. Why? Because, while we are name change experts, we’re also newlywed wives, moms, and sisters.

We hope our name change advice articles help smooth your transition to your new name, and a whole new phase of life. Congratulations and best wishes from the entire MissNowMrs team!

Answering the Inevitable When Are You Having Kids?

You’re back from your honeymoon for a few weeks and WHAMMO…someone asks “When are you going to have kids?”. That someone is usually a well meaning family member. Why are parents and family members so hung up on when you’re going to have kids? Shouldn’t they just be excited that you’ve met and married the love of your life?!

Whether you have decided to wait a while, or are choosing not to have children at all, prepare yourself (and your spouse) to field questions on the subject numerous times. Being prepared and united as a couple on the topic of babies can minimize the impact of family questioning on your relationship.

From your parents or your spouse’s, the insinuations about having babies are not something that really want to deal with as a newlywed, but you must also understand the reasons that parents feel so inclined to speak up on the subject. Their curiosity might have more to do with fears of their own mortality than anything else. In many cases, the desire to have grandchildren is linked to the desire to carry on the family name, family ownership of a business, or simply the bloodline.

In other situations, the concerns regarding your decision to wait or to not have children at all can stem from the desire to relive their own parenthood or worries over your fertility as you get older. Many parents look back at their child-rearing years as the best time of their lives. When those children have left the home, it is the hope and anticipation for grand babies that provides them the most joy.

Whether it is for one of these reasons or something else altogether, it is obvious that your family love you and wants you to be happy. So next time they ask about you starting a family, remember that the feelings tied to the questions likely run deep. For that reason, be considerate and assure the person that you understand and appreciate the concern, but also be firm.

The best way to answer the “When are you having kids?” question eloquently is to understand your own reasons for making your decision. Does the decision tie to financial reasoning? Is genetic illness playing a role in the decision? Are you simply tied to a profession that wouldn’t provide enough time to properly care for children? While you may not want to express them all, you will feel much more certain of yourself if you’ve identified your core reasons for waiting or not having children.

Whatever your reasons are, be sure to point out that despite the questions, comments, and concerns voiced by others, the decision is one to be made as a couple and that is exactly how you intend to make it.

Have you been hounded by family about when are you having kids? How have you handled the questions and kept your relationship healthy? We’d love to hear in a comment!

Newlywed Couples That Play Together Stay Together

Have you heard the saying, “Play together stay together?” There’s definitely something to it. Get up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, clean up, sit down, watch television, go to bed…repeat. Does this sound like the routine you have fallen into as a couple? If so, you are not alone. A large percentage of newlywed couples find that the pattern of work and living together in the same house can lead to a rather mundane existence when compared to the excitement of wedding planning and the honeymoon.

While a routine can be a good thing, it can also rob a relationship of its natural luster. While it might not be possible to go out every night, there are always ways to spice things up around the house.

Forgotten Fun – Many board games across this nation have been stashes away in closets, attics, or on book shelves to collect dust while occupants of the home turn to digital devices for entertainment. However, for the couple trying to find some fun to be had around the house, few things can beat a challenging board game. Whether it’s a lighthearted round of checkers or a competitively driven game of Scrabble, the activities can exercise the mind while improving your relationship. Looking to add some sizzle to game night? Simply play a body conscious game like twister after a glass or two of wine!

Digital Date Night – Okay, so you said goodbye to board games long ago and aren’t ready to head back to the store for more. That doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy a game with your spouse. Pick up the Wii remote or other video game controller and challenge him or her to play. Work together to destroy a common enemy or win an Olympic game and then celebrate your victory!

Get Creative – Have you always wanted to learn how to paint? Did you once have a knack for pottery? Or, have you been dying to try a new cooking technique? Rather than trying it by yourself, invite your spouse to join you. You may have to bribe him, but joint discovery of new talents is a great way to stay excited about your relationship. Learning more about each other and doing something new together is a fantastic way to stay excited about your relationship.

Honey Do’s – Take a quick look around your home…see room for improvement? Maybe there is an outdated light fixture, a fraying carpet, or a kitchen in desperate need of new paint. However small the project may be, when done together it can create a source for bonding. You can have a lot of fun looking for the perfect shade of paint or carpet and then installing it. Aside from improving your home, you’re also improving your relationship.

What do you do to play together? Do you have a standing card night, play a sport together or spend time in the kitchen getting creative? We’d love to hear about your togetherness activities in a comment!

Hot Newlywed Sex: Yes Please!

Let’s hear it for newlywed sex! I just read a reporter’s request for feedback from women who have tried the “new trend” of having testosterone pellets implanted under the skin of their backs to increase their libidos. Who does that?! As newlyweds, we’re a blessed segment of the population when it comes to hot sex and its frequency. That being said, who doesn’t want a little boost in the bedroom? Here are few non-surgical ideas to try out the next time you’re looking for inspiration.

Steamy Movie Scene – Pick a favorite steamy scene from a movie you’ve both watched and try it out. Need some suggestions? Choose something from Jerry Maguire, Unfaithful, Pretty Woman (if you’re a die-hard romantic) or Eyes Wide Shut. I’m sure your hubby might be able to help select a scene too!

Body Paint – Get in touch with your artsy/sexy side with a chocolate body paint kit. You can decorate each others bodies and lick it off, or decorate your own bodies and surprise each other with the results. Arrows pointing to certain places can act as a sensual guide for your amour.

Raincoat Moment – This is a risky maneuver, but if you pull it off it will be something your spouse talks about for the rest of his life. If your man has his own office (with a lock), show up to take him out to lunch in a raincoat, a pair of heels and nothing else. Obviously you’re not going to actually have lunch! Please weigh the possibilities of being caught in the act and possible unemployment before trying this one.

Somewhere Different – You know how vacation sex is always a little more fabulous? Part of that has to do with “doing it” in new surroundings. Book a room at a boutique hotel or set up a romantic scene in your attic as a surprise for your mate.

Wig Out – This suggestion might not work for everyone, but consider purchasing a wig that is radically different from your normal hair. If you’ve got short black hair go for long and blonde and if you’ve got long brown hair, go for short and red. You’ll get to feel like a totally different woman and your husband will get to experience sex with a totally different you!

What are you steamy secrets for keeping newlywed sex hot? Share a PG-13 comment with our readers today!

From Boyfriend & Girlfriend to Husband & Wife

Couples tend to think the transition from being engaged to being married is as simple as 1-2-3, but most married couples will tell you that it isn’t always that easy. With marriage, comes expectations (from both husband and wife…and even from In-laws too) and sometimes those expectations are set quite high. What’s the reason for this? It’s often times pressure to be like another couple, fantasies of a fairytale life or even media influences (i.e. magazines, books, TV shows, and celebrities). Try to put that aside and focus on what’s best for you as a couple by nurturing your relationship.

Love Individual Differences: When you’re dating it’s easy to miss how different the two of you really are, not to mention if you didn’t live together prior to your wedding you’re definitely getting to see a whole other side of your spouse now. It’s important to understand and appreciate your differences. It can be very difficult to live in the same household with someone who doesn’t wash the dishes or do the laundry the way you were taught to as a child, but remember that just because it’s different doesn’t make it wrong. Open your heart and your mind to the person that you vowed to share your life with and laugh about your differences as much as possible. After all, this is what makes you, YOU and the same goes for your spouse!

Invest Time in the Relationship: Dating is easy…you get to see each other when you want to and make plans with friends or family when you need a break. Now that you’re married it’s important to spend quality time together alone. You can plan date nights (i.e. out for dinner, happy hour, attend a sporting event or go to the movies). You should also spend time at home being intimate and talking about your goals and ideas for your life together. They say marriage takes work and it’s true, but it is the most rewarding work you’ll ever do for yourselves!

Make Me Time Important: This was probably the easiest part of dating, as you could plan to have a day or two in between your dates leaving you both time to do what you want on your days “off.” In a marriage it’s not only important to spend quality time together, but is equally as important for you both to have time to yourselves too. Some people like to enjoy a drink and read a book or attend a yoga class, while others like to play video games or peruse the Internet for new hobbies or interests. Whatever it is you enjoy doing, make time to do it even if it’s only once or twice a month.

Learn Together: Dating is all about learning about each other and about relationships in general. Marriage too is a learning process that should continue to grow both inside and outside of your relationship. Knowledge is food for your brain and it’s important to keep learning throughout our lives. You could take a class together on something you both want to become better at (i.e. cooking or dancing) or learn a new language together.

Have a Marriage Idol: Whether it’s your grandparents, parents, a family friend or a couple from your church, you should always have someone you can talk to about marriage. Seeing a successful marriage and always aspiring to be like them is healthy as long as what you are aspiring to be is happy and in love like the other couple.

What has been the most difficult transition for you and your spouse? How are you working through it?

A Happy Marriage, A Partnership!

I came across an interesting article the other day, and found it to provide some good ‘food-for-thought’ for married couples, and I wanted to share it with you! Have you heard people say that once you’re a newlywed it is no longer a “Me” thing it’s an “Us” thing!? To a certain extent I suppose that’s true but don’t forget that you are still your own person, and have your own needs, thoughts, desires and expectations for your life… you’re just now working as a team with your partner to achieve these things!

Have you stopped to think about the reasons why you fell in love with your spouse and what makes you happy in your marriage? The article that I want to share with you describes how couples are looking for more of a “partnership” in a relationship, to mold and shape each other into becoming a ‘better’ person! Individuals in a relationship can offer things to one another that maybe they were lacking on their own, ultimately creating a more self-fulfilling, happy marriage! I found this to be very true for my husband and me, in the fact that we compliment one another in different aspects of our life; which makes us a good team. He provides me with certain things that I was lacking on my own, and vice versa. I suppose this is backing up the “two heads are better than one” concept!

Share with us the things in your marriage that you and your partner ‘compliment’ one another in and what makes you a great team!