Relationship

Looking for name change advice or some tips for newlywed life? The MissNowMrs experts have created state-specific name change articles and checklists for you. We’ve chronicled our recommendations for how to travel while changing your name AND how to handle voting during the transition.

We’ve also compiled our best guidance for how to handle difficult sister in laws, holidays as newlyweds, the ever-annoying baby questions, and much more. Why? Because, while we are name change experts, we’re also newlywed wives, moms, and sisters.

We hope our name change advice articles help smooth your transition to your new name, and a whole new phase of life. Congratulations and best wishes from the entire MissNowMrs team!

Unplug to Reconnect!

It’s time to unplug to reconnect. Now that you’re settling into the newlywed life, do you ever feel like you don’t have time to talk or connect with your spouse the way you did before you said “I do”? Balancing jobs, a new marriage, family obligations and all the other joys of life can make for a grueling schedule.

My suggestion to you? Take an evening or weekend and unplug so you can reconnect. Turn off your phones & computers and sign off of all your online vices (from Facebook to shopping). Having uninterrupted time together is precious.

So you’re unplugged and staring at each other…now what? Take a walk through your neighborhood or a park and hold hands. You can talk, or not. Just being together is a good thing! Do activities that you love to do, but never have time for. Restaurant hop and have an appetizer at a few places, discover a museum or get a couples massage.

Another option is to tackle a project that has been on your joint to-do list forever. Need to paint the kitchen? Go pick out paint colors and roll up your sleeves. Completing a task together is rewarding and has been shown to strengthen relationship bonds.

As your unplugged time draws to a close, talk about what you liked about uninterrupted time together. Did you both de-stress? Learn something you didn’t know about your spouse? Have mind-blowing sex? You may realize that the time you spent together makes it easier for you to handle your spouse’s or your own work travel. Whatever the positive outcomes were, make plans to unplug on a regular basis!

What do you do to unplug with your spouse? Have you seen it benefit you relationship and marriage? We’d love to hear about it in a comment!

3 Small Steps to a Better Marriage

Looking for steps to a better marriage? Has your marriage hit an unexpected slump? If so, now is not the time to give up. This is an opportunity to renew bonds and strengthen the relationship that led you down the aisle. All marriages hit rough patches. As people grow and change and meet different obstacles, new strains and stresses can be placed on a couple. While coping may be tough, these stressful times are what make your relationship stronger and help you get through even bigger challenges in years to come.

Actions Speak Louder than Words
When your relationship is feeling rocky, the first thing most women want to do is speak up about it, but that is not always the best thing to do. When tempers are already on a short leash because of earlier arguments, tension is high because of outside stresses, or communication has simply run dry, talking about it might add fuel to the fire. Consider instead the ways that you can say what you feel without opening your mouth (it helps to envision how to communicate with a cave man). Are you tired of fighting and just want your partner to know that you are willing to hold on? Then, perhaps the best way to say so is with an impromptu hug. Slow dancing, hand holding, rubbing shoulders, and other similar gestures have universal meaning and will very likely let him know what you’re feeling.

Offer a Helping Hand
Perhaps one of the reasons that your spouse has been in a bad mood recently has more to do with outside pressures that it has to do with you. Perhaps he or she just needs a helping hand. Marriage is about team work, so show that you understand by helping with a small task, chore, or just offering some insightful advice when he or she is talking about problems at work. Taking the trash out might seem like a small thing…but it may mean a great deal to your stressed out spouse! Knowing someone is in your corner can make any situation more bearable.

Create Love Tokens
Another great way to demonstrate your feelings without words is through small tokens. Handmade cards left in a place that he or she is sure to find them, lunch delivered to the office during the day, or even a message scribbled on the fogged over bathroom mirror are great wordless ways to show love and affection.

Taking the time to make another person know that you are thinking about him or her is the best way to show how much you care. However, these ‘gifts’ tend to lose their meaning when only given after a fight. These are the things that should be done now and then and consistently throughout a relationship. They don’t have to be frequent and might occasionally be used to say sorry after an argument, but let them maintain their intended meaning. If you’re looking for a more tangible love token, draw a heart on a stone. They can be put in a coat pocket, desk drawer or even passed back and forth between you two.

Talk to us newlyweds. Can you recommend any steps to a better marriage Did your spouse get the unspoken message you were trying to convey? We’d love to hear from you in a comment!

Newlywed New Years Resolutions

It’s time to make newlywed new years resolutions! Can you believe it’s a totally new year to be a newlywed?! Whether this will mark your first full year as a married couple, or if you’ve been married for a few years, New Year’s resolutions can be great for you and your marriage.

While it’s easy to make huge promises for the new year (like working out 7 days a week or climbing Mount Everest), I find making one or two small resolutions much more easy to implement throughout the entire year. Stumped on what resolutions to make for you and/or your marriage this year? Here are a few ideas to get you started…

Resolutions for Your Marriage:
Say one nice thing about your spouse every day.
Schedule a bi-weekly date night.
Surprise your hubby once a month (be it a home made dinner or naughty lingerie).
Try a new hobby out together.
Be the wife you always thought you be (patient, kind, giving, fun, etc.).
Say something positive before you say something negative about his work/family/friends.

Resolutions for You:
Reserve 30 minutes for “you” every day.
Try a new gym class or fitness craze (it’s a great way to meet new friends & zap holiday pounds).
Make a monthly girls night schedule with your friends.
Smile at people you don’t know.
Be nice to yourself (it sounds crazy, but not being so hard on yourself relieves tons of stress).
Save up, and buy yourself the fabulous bag you’ve been coveting!

Hopefully these ideas will act as springboards for your own 2012 resolutions. Did you make any newlywed new years resolutions you’d like to share with us? Leave a comment!

Answering the Inevitable When Are You Having Kids?

You’re back from your honeymoon for a few weeks and WHAMMO…someone asks “When are you going to have kids?”. That someone is usually a well meaning family member. Why are parents and family members so hung up on when you’re going to have kids? Shouldn’t they just be excited that you’ve met and married the love of your life?!

Whether you have decided to wait a while, or are choosing not to have children at all, prepare yourself (and your spouse) to field questions on the subject numerous times. Being prepared and united as a couple on the topic of babies can minimize the impact of family questioning on your relationship.

From your parents or your spouse’s, the insinuations about having babies are not something that really want to deal with as a newlywed, but you must also understand the reasons that parents feel so inclined to speak up on the subject. Their curiosity might have more to do with fears of their own mortality than anything else. In many cases, the desire to have grandchildren is linked to the desire to carry on the family name, family ownership of a business, or simply the bloodline.

In other situations, the concerns regarding your decision to wait or to not have children at all can stem from the desire to relive their own parenthood or worries over your fertility as you get older. Many parents look back at their child-rearing years as the best time of their lives. When those children have left the home, it is the hope and anticipation for grand babies that provides them the most joy.

Whether it is for one of these reasons or something else altogether, it is obvious that your family love you and wants you to be happy. So next time they ask about you starting a family, remember that the feelings tied to the questions likely run deep. For that reason, be considerate and assure the person that you understand and appreciate the concern, but also be firm.

The best way to answer the “When are you having kids?” question eloquently is to understand your own reasons for making your decision. Does the decision tie to financial reasoning? Is genetic illness playing a role in the decision? Are you simply tied to a profession that wouldn’t provide enough time to properly care for children? While you may not want to express them all, you will feel much more certain of yourself if you’ve identified your core reasons for waiting or not having children.

Whatever your reasons are, be sure to point out that despite the questions, comments, and concerns voiced by others, the decision is one to be made as a couple and that is exactly how you intend to make it.

Have you been hounded by family about when are you having kids? How have you handled the questions and kept your relationship healthy? We’d love to hear in a comment!

Newlywed Couples That Play Together Stay Together

Have you heard the saying, “Play together stay together?” There’s definitely something to it. Get up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, clean up, sit down, watch television, go to bed…repeat. Does this sound like the routine you have fallen into as a couple? If so, you are not alone. A large percentage of newlywed couples find that the pattern of work and living together in the same house can lead to a rather mundane existence when compared to the excitement of wedding planning and the honeymoon.

While a routine can be a good thing, it can also rob a relationship of its natural luster. While it might not be possible to go out every night, there are always ways to spice things up around the house.

Forgotten Fun – Many board games across this nation have been stashes away in closets, attics, or on book shelves to collect dust while occupants of the home turn to digital devices for entertainment. However, for the couple trying to find some fun to be had around the house, few things can beat a challenging board game. Whether it’s a lighthearted round of checkers or a competitively driven game of Scrabble, the activities can exercise the mind while improving your relationship. Looking to add some sizzle to game night? Simply play a body conscious game like twister after a glass or two of wine!

Digital Date Night – Okay, so you said goodbye to board games long ago and aren’t ready to head back to the store for more. That doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy a game with your spouse. Pick up the Wii remote or other video game controller and challenge him or her to play. Work together to destroy a common enemy or win an Olympic game and then celebrate your victory!

Get Creative – Have you always wanted to learn how to paint? Did you once have a knack for pottery? Or, have you been dying to try a new cooking technique? Rather than trying it by yourself, invite your spouse to join you. You may have to bribe him, but joint discovery of new talents is a great way to stay excited about your relationship. Learning more about each other and doing something new together is a fantastic way to stay excited about your relationship.

Honey Do’s – Take a quick look around your home…see room for improvement? Maybe there is an outdated light fixture, a fraying carpet, or a kitchen in desperate need of new paint. However small the project may be, when done together it can create a source for bonding. You can have a lot of fun looking for the perfect shade of paint or carpet and then installing it. Aside from improving your home, you’re also improving your relationship.

What do you do to play together? Do you have a standing card night, play a sport together or spend time in the kitchen getting creative? We’d love to hear about your togetherness activities in a comment!