Relationship

Looking for name change advice or some tips for newlywed life? The MissNowMrs experts have created state-specific name change articles and checklists for you. We’ve chronicled our recommendations for how to travel while changing your name AND how to handle voting during the transition.

We’ve also compiled our best guidance for how to handle difficult sister in laws, holidays as newlyweds, the ever-annoying baby questions, and much more. Why? Because, while we are name change experts, we’re also newlywed wives, moms, and sisters.

We hope our name change advice articles help smooth your transition to your new name, and a whole new phase of life. Congratulations and best wishes from the entire MissNowMrs team!

Five Marriage Topics To Discuss Now Instead of Later

Do you know what marriage topics to discuss? As you return from your honeymoon, there a few questions you need to discuss with your spouse. While you may be hesitant to rock boat of “newlywed bliss.” It is very important to establish a understanding of how you both feel about these key topics before they cause problems in your marriage.

When do you want kids and how many do you want to have?
It’s long been discussed and long been debated. The opinions you have today will very likely change significantly in the future, but if he wants them and you don’t, or you were hoping to have a houseful and he cannot see himself with more than a single child, then how can the future possibly go smoothly? Hash out a plan that works for both of you and try to compromise as much as you can while still retaining your happiness.

Where do you see yourself in ten years; twenty?
This is not an easy question to answer for anyone. People who have been at the same job for many years are not always clear on their future ambitions, but discussing it now can point out possible points of contention that might lead to trouble in the future. For instance, if one person simply values fun and minimal commitment, but the other intends to build a large savings account before retirement, issues can quickly arise. So, even if answers are vague, at least you will have a general understanding of where your potential spouse wants your relationship to go. Meeting with a financial adviser can also help mitigate your opinions and help you come up with

What is your idea of the ideal vacation?
It might seem a silly question to be placed on a hot marriage topic list, but it is definitely worth asking. For one thing, vacation time from work is often very limited, so varying opinions regarding the best way to spend the time can create rifts. Knowing what your spouse wants out of a vacation before you go on one (honeymoons don’t count) can help minimize silent suffering and resentment and help you plan a trip that will meet both of your needs!

What level of commitment do you feel toward your family?
Sure, there is something desirable about a man who can admit that he enjoys spending time with his family, but how will that play out in the future? If one partner feels the need to frequently visit parents, grandparents, or siblings, it can limit potential places to live, greatly impact decisions regarding the holiday season, and even create weekly commitments. How will you both react to this? Discussing both of your needs and family responsibilities can help you find a balance between both families and the one you just created with your vows.

How do you feel about religion and politics?
It is best not to discuss religion and politics in most settings, but when it comes time to a lifetime commitment to another individual, there is good reason to bring these subjects to the forefront. Though your ideas regarding each might be perfectly in sync, there is a reason that these are considered taboo topics.

People generally feel very strongly about both and mismatched believes will very likely lead to heated battles in the future. Knowing what is a “hot topic” for your partner can allow you to approach it carefully and with great tact…thus reducing your chances of an argument.

Remember, as you ask these questions, that it is better to know how you and your partner feel (not how you think the other person wants you to feel). Honesty now will result in a harmonious marriage later!

Which is the the biggest of the marriage topics to discuss in your opinion? Did we miss any? Let us know in a comment!

Happy Wife…Happy Life Interpreted

Did you know that “Happy wife, Happy life” is an actual guy concept? Being a newlywed suddenly gives you a deeper insight into the male mind (sometimes good and sometimes scary). I took this concept to mean that my husband should do everything in his power to make me happy. Then I realized that my interpretation might be a bit selfish.

While your spouse should strive to make you happy, you are also responsible for your own happiness and your relationship’s healthiness. Setting reasonable expectations, communicating your needs and making an effort to invest in your own state of mind are the keys to staying happily married.

Here are a few ways to make the “happily ever after” even easier:

Tell Him What You Want – In the kitchen, yard and of course the bedroom. You may have married your soul mate, but that doesn’t make him a mind reader. You set your spouse up for failure by not letting him know that you really want him to take out the trash or bring you flowers on your birthday. Try to subtly let him know your needs and if that doesn’t work have a heart to heart discussion. Your husband wants to make you happy…so let him know how!

Be Realistic – We’d all love to have a mate that cooks, cleans, makes tons of money & writes amazing love letters, but most guys can’t do everything we wish for. Decide what is important to you and then figure out if you can supply part of your own expectations. For example, if you want every Friday to be a date night and your spouse has trouble remembering…do the research and make reservations or plan activities in advance. You’ll both win in this scenario.

Understand What He Wants – It sounds simple, but “happy wife happy life” also means that the wife’s happiness affects her husband’s. Do your best to be a happy person and meet your own needs. Then try to do things that will make your mate’s live happier. A surprise breakfast in bed or tickets to a hockey game on date night can go a long way in boosting the happiness quotient.

What do you need to be a happy wife? Has your spouse figured it out or have you both needed to talk about your expectations to maintain your newlywed bliss? Please leave a comment…we’d love to hear from you!

Newlywed Communication: 3 Tips for Success

One of the most integral parts of any great marriage is a couple’s ability to communicate effectively with each other and respect each others (often different) opinions. Many newlyweds struggle to find the balance of listening and being heard in the first years of marriage. After all, living with someone and being united with them requires new levels of patience, understanding, and self-control. When a co-worker upsets you, the disagreement is generally superficial, the boss will step in, or you can simply leave to take a breather and have an escape at home. The same is true when arguments arise with friends or extended family members. But, when you argue with your spouse, the rules change, so here are a few things to keep in mind:

Look for Visual Cues – Did you know that more than ninety percent of what you say does not come from your mouth? It has been found that it is the non-verbal actions of a person that provide most of the story. If you are failing to look at your partner when he or she is speaking, then chances are good that you are missing much of what has been said. It is also much easier to misinterpret something that is said if you do not see the non-verbal communications associated with the words.

Actively Listen – In addition to looking at him or her during the conversation, it is very essential to demonstrate that you were, in fact, listening and hearing everything that was said. Common phrases — such as ‘do you know what I mean?’, ‘what do you think?’, ‘am I crazy for feeling that way?’ – should not be ignored. Rather than just nodding your approval of what your partner has said, or starting on a tirade regarding everything you disagree with, be careful to respond meaningfully to those questions. These can be instant diffusers if handled correctly in a heated situation.

Know When to Temporarily End the Conversation – While the old saying ‘never go to bed angry’ still applies, it is unrealistic to believe that every argument throughout the life of your relationship will come to an immediate conclusion. Communication is essential, but sometimes it is just as important to know when to walk away. When tempers are flared to a level that distracts from hearing and understanding what is being said, then it is a good idea to take a moment to breathe. Don’t leave and stay away, but rather, take a moment apart to gather your thoughts, calm your nerves, and begin to think rationally again. At that point, return to your spouse and try to speak at a reasonable volume about what is bothering you.

The communication foundations you lay today will affect your relationship for a lifetime, so take the time to figure out the best ways to discuss highly charged topics and deal with confronting each other in a loving way. It will pay off, I promise! Just reading this blog post is a great step towards continuing your newlywed bliss. What discoveries have you made about communication as a newlywed?

Engagement Chicken?!

So I was reading an article in Glamour magazine and stumbled across the unusual story of “Engagement Chicken”. Apparently, an assistant at the magazine whipped up a special chicken dinner for her boyfriend and he proposed the same week. She shared her recipe with three co-workers and they all had the same results after making the chicken…ENGAGEMENT!

Since Glamour published the Engagement Chicken recipe, over 70 readers have reported success with it. While I don’t believe that the actual recipe made these women’s boyfriends go ring shopping, I am amazed at the coincidence. Is there some correlation between a woman taking the time to prepare a whole chicken for dinner and her level of commitment to a relationship (and therefore her partner’s level of commitment)?

If these engagements around the chicken dinner aren’t coincidence of commitment level, maybe there really something behind that age old saying that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!

Regardless, here’s the recipe (you may know a friend who’s a bit desperate):

Engagement Chicken Recipe (serves 2-4)

Ingredients:

1 whole chicken (approximately 4 pounds)
1/2 cup fresh lemon juice, plus 3 whole lemons—including 1 sliced for garnish
1 tablespoon kosher or coarse sea salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
Fresh herbs for garnish (4 rosemary sprigs, 4 sage sprigs, 8 thyme sprigs, and 1 bunch fl at-leaf parsley)

1. Position an oven rack in the upper third of the oven and preheat the oven to 400°F. Remove the giblets from the chicken, wash the chicken inside and out with cold water, then let the chicken drain, cavity down, in a colander for 2 minutes.

2. Pat the chicken dry with paper towels. Place the chicken breast-side down in a medium roasting pan fi tted with a rack and pour the lemon juice all over the chicken, both inside and out. Season the chicken all over with salt and pepper inside and out.

3. Prick 2 whole lemons three times each in three different places with a fork and place them deep inside the cavity. Chicken cavity size may vary, so if one lemon is partly sticking out, that’s fine. (Tip: If the lemons are stiff, roll them on the counter top with your palm before pricking to get the juices flowing.)

4. Put the chicken in the oven, lower the oven temperature to 350°F, and roast, uncovered, for 15 minutes.

5. Remove the roasting pan from the oven. Using tongs or two wooden spoons, turn the chicken breast- side up. Insert a meat thermometer in the thigh, and return the chicken to the oven and roast for about 1 hour to 1 hour and 15 minutes or until the meat thermometer reads 180°F and the juices run clear when the thigh is pricked with a fork. Continue roasting if necessary. Keep in mind that cooking times in different ovens vary; roasting a chicken at 350°F takes approximately 18-20 minutes per pound, plus an additional 15 minutes.

6. Let the chicken rest for 10 minutes before carving. And here’s the secret: Pour the juices from the roasting pan on top of the sliced chicken— this is the “marry me juice.” Garnish with fresh herbs and lemon slices.

Should you be further along in your married relationship, here’s the recipe fhttps://www.glamour.com/story/lets-make-a-baby-pastaor “Let’s Make a Baby Pasta”! We’d love to hear if you’ve made either recipe with success or know of someone else who has.
*Recipe from Glamour.com

Do You Need A Vacation From Your Spouse’s Job?!

What do you do when you and your spouse seem to be at each other’s throats a little more than usual? Do you find yourselves having the same annoying arguments over and over again? Lately I’ve noticed in my marriage that our reoccurring issues are stemming from one thing—his stress from work! This excessive stress has been coming home with him after leaving the office, and affecting our relationship! Work has been absolutely devouring my husband, consuming his energy, his every thought and every second of the day, so much so that even when we’re “spending time” catching up on our favorite shows on the couch, work calls continue to come in and he is still on the computer! Don’t get me wrong, I certainly appreciate his dedication and passion that he has for his job, but there comes a point where the happy median between work and pleasure needs to be a bit more… defined! In a serious effort to divert further issues and arguments, I called an intervention and demanded a vacation!

I believe there comes a point in every relationship where one, or both parties, becomes unintentionally wrapped up in one thing, and all of the remaining things in life suffer! Sooo, my solution- a romantic getaway! A nice vacation just me and the hubby (and by request- no computers!) I figured this was the only way get him away from his workload and at the same time will give us a chance to devote sole attention to one another, and spend some much-needed quality, romantic time- alone! Your marriage is a partnership, so it’s important to recognize one another’s needs and to be there to show each other support and love!

Now that we have moved out of the never-ending winter season, I want nothing more than the sand in my feet and a nice dark tan! Here are some getaway ideas and inspiration that I wanted to share with you from one of my fav’s, Travel and Leisure’s Ideas Section and here are some amazing hot-spots, rated the top destinations of 2011!

Do you and your spouse have a go-to place when you just need a romantic getaway? We would love to hear you favorite vacation spots- it always helps to spark new ideas for those in need of a getaway, so please share!