You may have heard a lot of newlywed social networking news stories recently. A couple suddenly has major issues because one person decided to poke around on another’s Facebook page or MySpace page. This tends to occur when one person becomes curious about their partner and their online activities. Who is he friends with? Who follows her page updates? Sometimes newlywed curiosity can spiral out of control and before you know it, you’re surfing your spouse’s Facebook page and suddenly the door opens and you’re caught red-handed. What happens to your relationship then?
That’s why trust is such an important part of a relationship. You’ve dated, fallen in love, and gotten married. Why should things suddenly change? Why should curiosity about your loved one’s online social life get in the way of being happy?
There are some who automatically think, “We’re married, so what’s mine is yours, and I should know everything going on in your life.” Sure, sharing and being close is an important part of a happy, healthy marriage, but let’s face it – everyone needs a bit of alone time as well as privacy in their life. Each of you is still an individual and will want to do different things. Though you are a couple and sharing your life together is a wonderful thing, it can feel equally good to just be on your own for a bit. To post some Twitter updates and joke with Facebook friends – and trust that your spouse won’t go rooting around in them.
Privacy goes a long way in the trust department. Having a healthy amount of privacy – online and offline – means that your partner trusts you and vice versa. There are some people who might say, “I wouldn’t mind if my spouse looked at my Facebook page. I don’t have anything to hide.” True, you probably don’t. But how would it make you feel if you came home to see your partner hitting the mouse button and peering through all your social details – without your permission? At the very least, it would make you uneasy. Curiosity or not, it shows a lack of trust as well as a lack of respect. If there is curiosity that must be satisfied, politely ask your partner your questions and see what the answers are.
There’s no need to let something as ridiculous as Facebook or a rogue tweet come between you and your spouse, so keep your lines of communication open and your social networking accounts private!
Do you have any stories about newlywed social networking? We’d love to hear your discoveries, compromises & solutions, so please leave a comment.