Danielle Tate

10 Newlywed Stress Busters (Under $10)!

Looking for newlywed stress busters? There’s only so much time in a day and not much of it is spent on you! So take a minute to think about when you can remove yourself from the stresses of your world, and make YOU your only responsibility. It is important to spend some time clearing your head and getting rid of the stress built up from the day.

So to get you started, I’ve put together a few ideas that may interest you and possibly spark some new ideas of your own! The holidays are around the corner, so start de-stressing right now (before it builds up inside)… and because the holidays are coming- let’s be mindful of our wallets!

Here are a few of my favorite newlywed stress busters under $10.00:

Break out a movie- better yet, how about a soothing workout DVD! I particularly like Pilates every once in awhile to throw my body for a curve, and it’s relaxing pace allows for you to concentrate on the different poses. It’s a great mental exercise as well, because when you’re going through the motions on a cardio machine at the gym- you’re still thinking about your responsibilities!
Get a massage—from your spouse of course! Since going to a masseuse can be a little pricey, and besides you’ll enjoy it more this way!
Bath & Body- It Works! Pick a night after work, go home, and pour a nice warm bath for yourself- and most importantly, leave your cell phone in another room!! I can’t think of anything more relaxing than a bubble bath! Go to the store, pick out your favorite fragrance, and enjoy! There’s plenty to choose from for under $10.
Life isn’t always a walk in the park- but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take one once in awhile! If it’s not exactly 70 degrees outside, throw your scarf and gloves on and pick up your favorite latte on your way! Sunshine and fresh air does wonders!
Remove yourself from the world, and indulge in a book! The most obvious way to not think about your own responsibilities and ‘get away’ is to get into someone else’s world! Find the latest book by your favorite author, or try something new and try reading a chapter a night; it will give you something to look forward to!
PJ’s, a chick flick, and yes, a big bowl of ice cream! This is an instant mood-booster!
Turn on some music at home, light some aromatherapy candles and either relax on the couch, or cook-up your favorite recipe (but only if you enjoy cooking, otherwise that will just stress you out more)!
Plan a picnic, with your spouse or your favorite gal pal! Be sure grab a blanket and throw in a bottle of vino!
Thrifty Shopping! Shopping is always an automatic stress-reliever for me, although sometimes not in my budget! So check out your local thrift store and browse around! There are always great treasures to find! Don’t want leave home— try Ebay!

Newlywed Public Relations

As a single woman you knew exactly how you thought of yourself and had your own standards of public behavior. Now that you’re a newlywed, you need to consider the best way to represent you and your spouse as a couple. The spectrum ranges from Mr. & Mrs. Perfectly Plastic to Mr. & Mrs. Public Tantrum Throwers. Frankly, I don’t believe that anyone wants to be either of those extremes. How your relationship functions in and out of the public eye is completely up to you and your partner. A little prior planning can help prevent a poor public image of you and your marriage.

Here are a few newlywed tips for you:
Make a dispute plan. If you are both at a party or out with friends and disagree on something, what should you do? Some couples can shelve the issue and discuss it privately at a later time. Others might need to excuse themselves to immediately work things out. Having a plan in place before a potential blow up can help you both keep your cool in public, but still deal with the problem at hand.

Accentuate the positive. You shouldn’t fabricate stories about your perfect newlywed life, but you also shouldn’t do a dissertation on how terrible your husband is about leaving the toilet seat up. You married the love of your life…so be proud of him and shine a positive light on him. Imagine how you would feel overhearing your spouse complimenting your cooking versus complaining that it took you 45 minutes to pick out your party outfit. Take the initiative and say something sincerely pleasant about your husband, whether or not it makes it back to him, your marriage will be better for it!

Manage expectations. If you’re a social butterfly and your partner is more of a lone wolf, you might have very different expectations for how to enjoy a party. Perhaps your husband would like you to introduce him to other guys at the party with similar personalities or he might just want to hang out with you as you mingle. Discussing what would make both of you happyand comfortable before going out, should result in a great time for everyone instead of a potentially awkward “we should go now” situation.

Have fun. You know your husband and he knows you, so use that intimate knowledge to do things that you both enjoy. If you have a girlfriend who wants to go to the ballet, why drag your poor husband? Take your friend to the performance and then come home and go out for cocktails or a movie with your man. This way you both win and there’s no need for a difference in likes or dislikes to cause chaos in your lives!
Navigating as a newlywed couple can take some getting used to. By following our tips and putting each other first, you should have a smooth transition and be known as “that great newlywed couple” instead of some less than desirable description.
Do you have any tips for maintaining your relationship in public and in private? We’d love for you to share them in a comment!

Looking for more newlywed advice? Our experts are her to help

When Your Sister-In-Law is a Jealous #$%^*

If you were expecting a new shopping and spa buddy, it may seem strange that your sister-in-law would be jealous of you and your spouse, but it’s surprisingly common. So, we have some helpful tips for what to do when your sister in law is jealous!

The issue may arise because she sees you as a potential threat to her bond with her sibling. She’s had them for so many years either as a big sibling to look up to or a loveable little brother/sister. But, now you’re in the picture, permanently, most likely with a new last name. Sometimes a sister-in-law will view this as her sibling being taken away from her. Now you get them all to yourself and she gets less time to be with them.

Kill Your Sister In Law with Kindness

Even though you know this isn’t true, you may find yourself stuck with a rude and downright mean sister-in-law. The troubling part is that while you may get hit with the brunt of her crappy attitude, your spouse may never see any of it. This may lead to many frustrating discussions in which you try to tell your partner about her bad behavior, only to be told it’s nonsense and the sister-in-law is not the person you are making her out to be.

Her behavior can vary. She may completely ignore you when you are talking or she may say rude things and, in general, be very negative. Whatever her attitude, it’s important that you not react to it. Remember – she is the one with the problem. Not you. There’s no reason to let her anger and issues get to you. Instead, you can kill her with kindness. People often don’t know what to do when they are mean and instead of seeing a frustrated response, get a smile and a pleasant comment. If she sees you as easily angered or flustered, then she will realize she has control.

Take Back Control

Your sister-in-law should not have control over you. You married your spouse because you loved them – anything she says should not be able to change that. You should plan to take back control (if necessary) by ignoring your sister-in-law at the right times and being polite the rest of the time. She will soon realize that everything negative that she does has no effect on you. This may result in her attempting to amp up her rudeness, but in doing so out of frustration, it may betray her to your spouse, thus bringing the whole issue into the light and shutting down the problem completely. Or she may discover that you aren’t there to steal away her beloved sibling and that you are a good person and she is in the wrong.

It can be frustrating and annoying, but by sticking to your guns when your sister-in-law comes around, you should be able to disarm the situation and eventually become friends with her. Still struggling with a sister in law who is jealous? Here’s another helpful article on the topic.

Name Change Help

While we can’t directly help you with your sister in law situation. We can absolutely help you with your name change. Check out our name change after marriage checklist for tips on saving time and stress!

Help Me Change My Name

Here’s a video about what to do when your sister in law is jealous

6 Bad Newlywed Habits That Can Ruin Your Marriage

Skip these newlywed habits that can ruin your marriage ladies! We all know the odds are stacked against us newlyweds these days with the divorce rate through the roof (50% being 1 out of 2 marriages), so now more than ever couples need to keep the lines of communication open and honest.

There are so many things that can ruin a marriage and no one is perfect! Try to stay away from the following bad habits and rest assured that the bond between you and your partner will continue to grow together rather than apart.

Bad Habit #1: Keeping Secrets. Whether it’s about finances, friends or your career; there’s no room for secrets in a marriage. I’m not talking about when your best friend says, “Swear you won’t tell anyone about…” I’m talking about hiding big purchases, not talking to your spouse about your feelings, etc.

Bad Habit #2: Disorganization. You may find that from time to time your home office looks like a bomb went off, but if your entire home is in disarray it may be time to do some serious housekeeping! Being disorganized will cause you both to feel anxious and out of control. It could cause you to miss due dates on important bills, adding unnecessary stress to you and your spouse; which will undoubtedly strain your relationship.

Bad Habit #3: Confiding in Relatives and Friends instead of your partner. One of the best parts of being married is always having someone to confide in and not having to worry about being judged for your opinions. You certainly would not appreciate finding out that your husband/wife confided in a parent, friend, co-worker or neighbor about something that he/she should have trusted you with. It hurts, don’t do it.

Bad Habit #4: Constant Criticism. It’s ok not to agree with each other all the time (you are allowed to be individuals with your own opinions); however nagging your spouse constantly about the little things that really do not matter in the scheme of life will result in a lot of fighting and negative feelings in your marriage.

Bad Habit #5: No Sex Life. Careers, children and other responsibilities and obligations are the cause of exhaustion—we all get it! Remember sex is one (major) key to a happy marriage and without it the two of you will be left feeling disconnected and will be more like roommates rather than husband and wife. Get out the lingerie and pretend like you’re dating again so you don’t become one of the 15-20% of couples in a sexless marriage (sex 10 or less times per year—yikes)! You can watch videos for advice on this topic, and to get a better understanding of just how many couples will experience this issue in their marriage.

Bad Habit #6: Forgetting the important words. Saying please and thank you have always been important words in my house, but saying I love you each and every day at least once is the most important. While actions may speak louder than words, reminding your partner that you love them is the utmost important thing you can ever say to them.

Can you add to our list of newlywed habits that can ruin your marriage? Tell us another bad habit that you avoid and why. You never know whose marriage you could be saving just by sharing your thoughts!

Newlywed Winner Announced!

Congratulations to Ashley!! You read our newlywed blog, left a comment and now you’ve won a free BareEase & Cream kit! This kit includes a physician-formulated cream will not only erase the pain and discomfort associated with waxing, but its skin soothing components will leave your skin feeling soft, silky and sexy post salon visit! The cream is quickly absorbed into the skin underneath the cute pink panty made of latex, which keeps the cream where it’s supposed to be and not on your 7 jeans!

Please check your email for the details on how to redeem your prize from BareEase & Cream. We’d love to hear your feedback on this prize and if it really works (because we might buy one ourselves). Once again, thanks to our friends who provided this cool giveaway!