Etiquette

Looking for name change advice or some tips for newlywed life? The MissNowMrs experts have created state-specific name change articles and checklists for you. We’ve chronicled our recommendations for how to travel while changing your name AND how to handle voting during the transition.

We’ve also compiled our best guidance for how to handle difficult sister in laws, holidays as newlyweds, the ever-annoying baby questions, and much more. Why? Because, while we are name change experts, we’re also newlywed wives, moms, and sisters.

We hope our name change advice articles help smooth your transition to your new name, and a whole new phase of life. Congratulations and best wishes from the entire MissNowMrs team!

Family Gift Giving 101: Newlywed Holiday Etiquette

Newlywed holiday etiquette, it’s so important! The holidays are filled with happiness, love, good food, great friends, and the creation of many wonderful memories. However, for many, this time of year also comes with great stress, as one is forced to consider the etiquette of gift giving within a new family.

It is absolutely wonderful to give a gift and enjoy the look of thrill that comes with opening it, but giving a gift to a person who wasn’t expecting it often means giving a handful of guilt as well. When you are the one on the receiving end, with nothing to give in return, it can be horribly embarrassing. So now that you’re part of a new family, how do you know who you are supposed to buy for and how much to spend?

Who Should You Be Buying For? This is often the first question asked in new marriages. While it might be obvious what gifts need to be purchased on your side of the family, because you are very familiar with the traditions, it can be far more difficult deciding which relatives of your spouse will expect a present. One of the easiest ways to figure this out is to inquire about the annual holiday events. Is there a big get-together with the extended family? Who attends it? Are gifts exchanged and how?

In many families, especially large families, it is nearly impossible to get a gift for every member, so names will be drawn from a hat so each person buys just one gift. Others may choose to have a gift swap for which each person brings one or two wrapped gifts and names are drawn deciding the order in which participants choose from the table of presents.

Knowing what happens at your spouse’s holiday gatherings can often save you a great deal of worry. If you are still unsure of the situation, consider stockpiling a few small items wrapped and on hand for unexpected circumstances. Consider small ornaments, kitchen gadgets, scarfs, candles or other items that anyone might enjoy and if someone gives you a gift who you haven’t shopped for, use one of these standbys to prevent an uncomfortable situation.

How Much Should You Spend? This question should not have a universal answer. Each family faces a different set of financial circumstances. Staying on budget with your holiday shopping should be the primary goal, rather than worrying about what others are going to shell out for gifts. Create a budget for what you can afford, who you need to buy for, and divide the total among them. That way, there will be no question as to whether or not you have spent enough – you have spent what you can afford.

As a final note, in some families, there will be a price limit set for gifts. If that is the case, abide by the guideline, even if you feel that it is really too little. This avoids embarrassing those who can’t afford to spend more.

Are you anxious about holiday shopping for your in-laws this year? Hopefully our newlywed holiday etiquette explanations helped. Stay tuned for our Top 10 In-Law gifts post later this week!

Recipes to Help You Make a Great Impression (& Pie) this Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is almost upon us and that means getting together with family and celebrating all of the things you are thankful for with a ton of food. It’s also a great time to showcase your personality and abilities to the family you married into. Whether it’s pumpkin, chocolate meringue, apple or berry; a fabulous slice of pie is the best way to top off a great meal. As the newlywed addition to your spouse’s family, what better thing to bring to the meal, but a homemade pie?
Here a few recipes to help you make a great impression (and pie) this Thanksgiving:

For the Traditionalist: If you and Martha Steward are BFFs make a classic dessert to add to the feast. Here are a few great recipes for pumpkin pie, apple pie and berry cobbler. Your new family is certainly in for a treat!

For the Foodie: Are you the gracious gourmet? Flaunt your skills and great taste with a Pear Tarte Tatin or, if the oven is in over-drive, why not make a festive frozen treat? You’ll have more than a few family fans after making a Pumpkin Ice Cream Pie for dessert.

For the Frazzled: Want to bring something to add to dinner, but are short on time? Here are two great ideas that take an hour or less: whip up a Blackberry Pear Pie or try this Pecan Caramel Tart Recipe. These recipes may be short on prep time but they sure aren’t lacking in flavor or presentation. No one needs to know that you made them in a matter of minutes!

For the Innovator: Are you the edgy interesting person that loves a new flavor combination? Show off your taste for adventure with Pear Soup with Pancetta & Blue Cheese. I know it’s not pie…but it’s too amazing not to mention! You could also make a Banana Rum Cream Pie that will have your in-laws drooling!

For the Health Conscious: Challenged by the invitation to bring something “sweet but healthy” to dinner? Instantly ingratiate yourself with any children in the family by bringing Caramel Apples or Cranberry Pineapple Minis!
Do you have a signature pie recipe that you plan to make this Thanksgiving? Please share it with us!

Holiday Parties – Ho Ho Ho!

‘Tis the season for corporate and family holiday parties. Now let’s talk about not looking like a Ho, Ho, ho as a newlywed or newly engaged lady! There is definitely a way to look attractive at events, without raising any in-law eyebrows or causing the CEO’s blood pressure to spike.

Here are a few tips to keep you looking your best during the holiday season:

1. Choose to accent your upper body or lower body with an outfit, not both. A great mini dress that has sleeves or a or a high neckline will allow your legs to take center stage without causing catcalls. If you’ve got killer arms or cleavage, choose a longer dress or pants and then show A LITTLE skin up top.

2. Leave the leave-em-on boots at home. Don’t get me wrong, some boots are appropriate with dresses. But, if you have patent leather over the knee boots there are certain call girl connotations that will enter most people’s minds when they meet you. Frankly, you don’t want to be that girl, especially as someone’s wife or fiancé!

3. Get your hair done! Now’s the time to touch up any roots or split ends that you have showing. A quick trip to the salon or some do-it-yourself tricks will have you looking polished and presentable wherever you go. It will also ensure that you’ll love the way you look in holiday photos and not kick yourself for that hair. If you already have a few photos you regret, you can use this cool root touch-up software to erase any hair color mistakes.

4. Go easy on the make-up. Choose to do a smoky eye and neutral lips or play up your lips and do very muted eyes. This tactic allows one feature of your face to stand out and keeps you from looking like you were hit by the paint truck!

5. Smile. You’re a newlywed or newly engaged and the world is your oyster. No need to be serious or nervous, just be yourself and let everyone get to know the real you.

With these few tips you should be able to focus on having fun at the flurry of holiday parties you attend. You can rest assured that you’re presenting yourself in a wonderful way and everyone that meets you will be impressed.

What are you wearing to holiday parties this year and what are you avoiding wearing? We’d love to hear about your outfits and the dreadful ones you saw last holiday season, so please leave a comment!

Addressing Your In-Laws: Mom, Mrs. So-And-So, or Something Completely Different?

Anxious about addressing your in-laws? If there’s one thing you’re almost certain to get along with your mate once you get married, it’s in-laws. There are many cases in which you will already know your in-laws, even get along great with them, be invited to family functions and so forth. All of this long before you get married. If this is the case, then great! You’re probably already past the stage of awkward introductions and being unsure of what exactly to call your spouse’s mother.

However, there are occasions in which you may have never had the chance to meet them before the wedding. Perhaps everyone lives too far away for any visits. Whatever the case, at some point the manner of addressing your in-laws will come up…especially during the holidays with holiday cards, gift tags and party introductions.

In general, as with any person, the correct way to start off is by using the traditional Mr. and Mrs. forms. Doing so shows respect and doesn’t make anyone feel uncomfortable, as opposed if you just start calling one of your in-laws “Mom” right away. As time goes by, you may feel more comfortable with them and can either try to transition into a first name basis on your own, or ask if it is all right for you to call them by something different.

Respect is the key to the whole situation. Some families will correct you the moment you finish – but in a good way. Such as:
“Why, hello, Mrs. Winston.”
“Oh, don’t be silly – you can call me Gail!”

And suddenly you’re already on a first name basis. A lot of married couples simply stick with first names. They are familiar enough with their in-laws for this to be normal (after all, Gail is her name).
Of course, there is also the occasional switch to Mom or Dad. Families that are close may transition into this naturally and feel comfortable with it. In-laws might encourage you to call them by these names. If you have no problems with this, by all means call them Mom or Dad. But if you are at any time uncomfortable with doing so, then quietly sit down with them and explain your reasons. They should understand your feelings and allow you to call them by either their first name or by using Mr. or Mrs.

The general rundown of addressing in-laws tends to go from the most formal to the least formal. So unless someone insists you use something else straight from the get-go, over time you should be able to move through these with relative ease: Mrs. Winston – Gail – Mom.

What do you call your in-laws? Were there any truly uncomfortable moments at the beginning of your relationship or unusual name requests when it came to addressing your in-laws? We’d love to hear your comments!

4 Best Newlywed Ways To Handle Annoying People

Need some newlywed ways to handle annoying people? We’ve covered the top 4 offenders and given you some solutions to tactfully tackle dealing with them.

The Neighbor that talks until he/she’s blue in the face. You and your spouse finally arrive at your house after your dreadful commute home from work and your neighbor is outside waiting to strike up a conversation that you know will last way longer than you have time or patience for. What do you do? You say, “I would love to catch up with you, but haven’t had anything to eat since noon, can we talk about this on the weekend?” or “I’ve been looking forward to spending time with my husband/wife all day, would you mind if we caught up at a different time?”

You can’t put them off forever, but it’s not rude to let someone know that you have had a day from …you know where…and would simply like to go inside and forget about it!

The House Guest that Never Leaves. Do you constantly have friends from high school or college over and they don’t know when to leave? Sure, you love catching up with old buddies and always enjoy laughing about the glory days, but at some point it’s time to say so long til next time. Try making plans for a specific time the day that you plan for your house guest to leave, such as dinner plans with local friends. The point is to have a specific end time in mind and stick to it. Discussing these plans with your house guest prior to them arriving is the best way not to offend anyone.

The Needy Sibling or Friend. Do you or your spouse have a brother, sister, or friend who relies on you for everything? I’m not talking about times that you should be there by there side (such as grieving, consoling them with a bad break-up or even a job loss). I’m talking about the individual that expects you to remember and remind them of important dates such as: Mom/Dad’s birthday, anniversaries, when their bills are due (or never has the money to pay them without borrowing the money from you).

If you grew up with a tight-knit family you know that it is never easy to say no to them for any reason, but there comes a time in life when you need to do what’s best for you and your new family…your spouse—and as a newlywed it is so important to put your spouse first to let them know that you value them and their role in your life. Tip: purchase a calendar and write all the important dates to be remembered in it and give it to your needy friend, and let them write their other obligations in it (such as bill due dates, etc.). After all, it really isn’t your responsibility to keep track of this for them anyway.

The Demanding Boss. Does your boss constantly pile more projects and responsibilities on your plate than any one human being should ever have to deal with at a time? Remember, you are one person and can only do what is humanly possible…one thing at a time! The best thing you can do is always be on time for work and know how you work best (i.e. make a checklist and tackle it in a timely manner—no, Twitter and Facebook are not acceptable unless your job is social media marketing…nice try though).

If the deadline is impossible for you to meet on your own consider asking a co-worker for assistance or sit-down with your boss and let him/her know that you are working on XYZ and would love to complete the task, but if the deadline can’t be pushed back it may be best for the project to be assigned to someone with fewer responsibilities. Any boss would prefer that you let them know of the issue instead of completing the task under par.

The list of people could go on and on, right?! If you have an example of an “annoying person” (no names please) and advice on how you deal with them, share it with our other readers by commenting below.