Newlywed Needs Archives

Jul 08 2010

5 Newlywed Rules to Throw Out the Window

One of the most annoying things that will happen to you upon becoming a newlywed is receiving unwanted, unsolicited advice from other people (both single and married)! They will bombard you with all of the ‘Newlywed Rules’ and tell you how to live your life the ‘right way’ in order to be happy. My question is: How do they know what makes you and/or your spouse happy? And what’s with the cookie-cutter way of living life, anyway?! Some of the most common rules are as follows along with reasons why you don’t have to follow them:

Rule #1: Spend All Free Time Together
We are hoping that you already realize that this is not possible and could be quite boring! If you DO end up spending ALL your free time together you’re not only going to run out of interesting things to talk about, but you will also lose touch with your family and friends. You may also find yourselves fighting more because you are sick of each other! So, get out once in awhile and enjoy catching up with friends or having time to yourself!

Rule #2: Stop Hanging Out with your Single Friends
Wait, what?! The idea that you and your spouse are a married couple and should work on replacing your single friends with other married couples is just ridiculous. It’s a great idea to have a mix of married and single friends so that when you decide to host a dinner or Super Bowl party there’s more than just one ‘type’ of person in your crowd. It will make for more interesting and dynamic conversation and an overall better time!

Rule #3: You Must go Out on Dates to be Happy
While my husband and I stick to having at least one Date Night per week (we don’t have children yet—and realize that it gets trickier when you add them to the mix), it is not necessary that you and your spouse go OUT on a date each week. Date Night doesn’t always have to mean dinner at your favorite restaurant and a movie at your local theater (that could seriously put a strain on your budget)! Your date could consist of a night at home cuddled up on the couch with your spouse. Do what works for the two of you and don’t worry about what the definition of a date is to other couples.

Rule #4: You should both Share a Last Name/Bank Account/Gym or Country Club Membership/Etc.
Nowadays 86.6% of women change their name in some way due to marriage, but that doesn’t mean that you have to. Many women are opting to have 2 last names (with or without a hyphen) or to replace their middle name with their maiden name. Now men are even changing their last name to their wife’s last name upon marriage and some couples are changing both their last names to a new last name! With all these choices out there, why would you worry about what someone else wants you to do?

It’s okay if you and your spouse decide to keep your own last names or separate bank accounts and just split the bills in half. Believe me, companies are going to accept your payment whether it comes from one check or a combination of two checks—they just want the bill paid on-time! As for your gym membership–if you attend a private Yoga or Pilates class and your spouse has a membership at a different gym, don’t feel obligated to make changes to your fitness routine. Sometimes you can save money by combining your memberships, but if there’s not that big of a difference in price or you’re not worried about losing the money than keep attending your own classes (and consider it ME time)!

Rule #5: Make a 5-Year Plan
If you are the type of person who sets goals and has a better chance of achieving them by writing them down on paper, than do it! Some people tend to stress out if they don’t reach their goals in the time they allotted to do so and end up dwelling on the idea of failure when this happens. If you are more-likely to freak out if you miss a deadline, then making a 5-year plan could be a bad idea for you. You will drive your spouse crazy with your what ifs, should have, could have, would haves! Why not just enjoy the first few years of marriage without having to worry about your deadlines to: buy a house, start a new career, start a family, go on a 2-week European vacation, etc.?

We spend so much time worrying about someone else’s idea and vision of the perfect life that we forget to just LIVE ours! Remember, it doesn’t matter what other people are doing to make their marriages work because they aren’t a part of yours. No two marriages are exactly alike and what works your grandparents, parents, in-laws and friends may not work for you. So, focus on making sure you and your spouse are happy. Keep communicating, laughing, loving, and enjoying your fabulous life together!

We’d love hear what crazy ‘Newlywed Rules’ you’ve heard since your nuptials. Leave us a comment below and start a discussion with other Newlyweds!

Jul 07 2010

Registry Entertaining: What to do with ALL of the new stuff in your kitchen!

Don’t miss our tips for registry entertaining! Newlywed bliss and tons of newlywed gifts…sounds great right? Now that you’re moved in and opened all the wedding gifts, you may be wondering “Why did I ever register for this?”. Most newlywed couples will agree that they might have gotten a tiny bit overzealous with the registry gun and may have even ended up with everything they asked for! Not to worry…we’ve come up with a few tips and ideas on how to utilize all the sparkly new kitchen equipment stuffed in your cabinets.

Blender: So you’re looking at your top-of-the-line blending technology in awe and wonder….and possibly wondering what to make first. While your first inclination might be a margarita, there are so many things you can make instead! Work your inner kitchen diva and whip up a batch of spicy summer gazpacho shooters. Williams-Sonoma has a great recipe that you can use the next time you end up hosting a neighborhood BBQ. You could also use your new blender to jump start a healthy summer diet with fresh fruit protein smoothies in the morning. Missing your girlfriends? Blend up one or more of the facial recipes at Hello Glow and invite them over for a fun face mask and a movie! If that margarita still sounds best…..you could surprise your best friend or hubby with an impromptu fiesta and let go amigo!

Panini Press: These great little machines elevate the sandwich from boring lunch option to savory party fare. Panini parties make for really simple and really fun registry entertaining! Invite a few friends over and lay out several sandwich ingredients for them to choose from. You can pick a theme to make the entire party/meal flow together, such as Italian Summer or All American. With the Italian theme you could serve any of the following: Italian sodas and wine for beverages, chicken, prosciutto, salami, any selection of Italian cheeses, roasted red peppers, fresh basil or fresh sage for sandwiches and then tiramisu for dessert! Worried you don’t know how to use your press? Sounds like a great time to do a test run dinner with your spouse. Have them read the instructions while you assemble two sandwiches. Pop them in the press and watch the clock. You’ll have a mini dinner party for two in minutes!

Wine Decanter: – Not only does this glassware improve the taste and bouquet of red wine, it also looks great as a wine bar or kitchen shelf decoration. Don’t pack your decanter away somewhere. Display it and be inspired to enjoy a nice glass of wine with your mate. Decanters improve even inexpensive bottles of wine, so take twenty minutes and unwind with your spouse tonight after work…just because you can!

Have you done any registry entertaining of your own? We’d love for you to share your tips and ideas in comment below.

Jun 30 2010

Could This Be The Perfect Time for a Weekend Getaway?

Have you made time for a weekend getaway? Remember when you and your spouse were dating and you would surprise each other with planning something special for just the two of you? Maybe you would make a special meal for them and the two of you would spend quality time at home together or they would plan a weekend getaway for the two of you to enjoy a mini-vacation. Think long and hard–when was the last time that you actually enjoyed uninterrupted quality time together?

Money might be tight right now (since you just had a wedding, or maybe you bought a home.) But that’s no reason to forego planning a weekend away. It doesn’t have to be any where extravagant to be a good time.

So, here are a few ideas for a weekend getaway (some more budget-friendly than others, but all are sure to be a great time for the just the two of you)!

Spend the night at a Bed and Breakfast or your favorite hotel: If you ‘re lucky enough to live in the country or a mountainous area a Bed and Breakfast could be one of the most romantic places to go for the weekend. You get to ‘feel like home,’ but without the stresses of cleaning or cooking dinner.

Plan a Spa Weekend: Set up an appointment for a couple’s massage and the two of you could lie there and forget all your worries while someone takes care of your muscles. Check out spaweek.com for reputable spas near you!

Plan a Camping Trip: All you need is a tent and a sleeping bag (or two) and you could look at the stars all night while indulging in some delicious s ‘mores.

If a weekend away is too much you could try these one day adventures:
Visit a Local Amusement Park: Stop denying yourself of your inner-child! Everyone remembers when they were young and how much fun it was to ride the roller coaster over and over again.
Plan a Picnic: Visit a local park and have a picnic lunch or dinner. You could go bike riding or hiking while you’re there too; which allows the two of you to enjoy your time together and counts as your cardio workout for the day!
Visit a Local Winery: Lots of wineries offer free tastings and most don’t even require a reservation! If your winery has a deck/patio with tables, you could purchase your favorite bottle and enjoy it with some cheeses, grapes and snacks from home—just pack a small cooler!

No matter how busy your lives may seem, always remember that your relationship should come first. It’s not always that easy, but if you make it a point to surprise each other once in awhile with something fun, you’ll both truly appreciate it!

Jun 29 2010

Date Night Spice

Do you need some date night spice? How many times do you and your spouse find yourselves attending the same restaurants, and maybe even ordering the same meals!? Sometimes you may find your marriage and your life in general to be some-what of a routine… and routine is GOOD, but once in awhile you need to spice-it-up a bit! When you have a night to yourselves and are pondering over one of your select favorite restaurants to have dinner, instead… plan a date night with spice!

You say, well I’m married now, we don’t “date” – sure you do! Pick a theme, dress accordingly and go out for the evening! Here are just a few ideas for you! Discuss them with your spouse and get them all pumped up about it—they will appreciate a change from a nice dinner and bottle of wine!

Mini Golf and Ice Cream– its casual and a fun summer evening activity, or instead hit the driving range; it’s a great aggression reliever. Here’s a mini golf locator!
Pizza and Comedy– this too can be a bit more casual and you can enjoy some spontaneous laughter together either at a comedy club or at the movies (or if you’re on a budget—in the comfort of your own home)!
Beer, Wings, and Pool– visit the bar on the corner that you wouldn’t normally frequent for a nice evening out, make sure to dress accordingly, and bring some cash for the jukebox- this will be something you’ll do again!
Outdoor Stroll – enjoy the beautiful summer nights, and check out the local events in your area, this is the time you will find outdoor festivals, shows, and concerts. Hey, you might even get to know your neighbors, strolling around the block a time or two!
Bring on the Romance– Decide to try a new restaurant tonight, and get all dressed-up! It’s even more fun if you get ready in a separate room, meet him in the car, and just see where the night takes you!
At-Home-Date– don’t feel like leaving the house? Turn on some tunes, set the table (not the coffee table) or have a backyard picnic and let him cook for you—and if that doesn’t work, pizza always does!
Remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away! So enjoy your fabulous married life, and do so happily in love!

Jun 24 2010

Why Man Space Has Nothing to Do with Your Marriage

Have you heard of man space? We all have personal space (and need it) and when someone violates the unspoken rule of ‘not invading someone’s personal space’ we tend to feel strong emotions about it. We expect people to adhere to these unwritten rules because they go along with our perception of protection and safety in our environment, right?

While you and your spouse may not need to follow unspoken rules to feel protected or safe you still expect one another to respect your personal space. Women tend to be the interior decorators in the home and like to have everything just so (matching and coordinating EVERYTHING and worrying about how it all looks), causing some men to long for Man Space.

What is Man Space and why is it necessary, you ask? It’s a place where your man doesn’t need to worry about anyone else’s needs, but his own. He can mix and match old college furniture, his favorite childhood bean bag and have a huge TV with ugly speakers and not have to worry about what you think about it. He can play video games, watch the movies HE wants to watch, not clean-up after himself immediately upon finishing a snack or scratch his butt (if he wants to) without worrying about offending anyone!

Some of the most common places to create Man Space are a garage, a basement, or even a shed in the backyard. Believe it or not some couples are actually basing their home-buying decision on whether or not there’s enough room to create Man Space. They are even making some eye-popping changes to create the ideal man cave such as; sports themed rooms, putting in a bar and pool table as well as in-home theatre and surround-sound systems! So, you’re thinking “how does having Man Space for my husband help me,” right?!

Here are a couple reasons why allocating space specifically for your man is a great idea—for BOTH of you.

Keeps him at home not at the bar: You don’t really want him lounging around at the local bar all the time, do you? He can enjoy himself just as much with a beer in-hand in his new man cave!

Guys night at your house, rather than at that single friend’s house you’re not so sure you trust: Think about it…if your man has his own room where his buddies can come over and enjoy watching sports while downing a few brews they won’t be bugging your husband to go out on the town so often.

No arguments over what to watch on TV or him making a mess of the room you JUST cleaned: Lets face it, you like to watch Oprah, or Lifetime (what my husband refers to as “the man hater channel”) or What Not to Wear and he wants to watch Sports Center, Law & Order and the big game. You see how creating a space just for him will allow for each of you to enjoy some ME time indulging in your favorite guilty pleasures?!

He needs to catch up on work emails and you just want to exercise and listen to music: Cyndi Lauper was onto something with “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.” If your husband has a room where he can handle his business and you can blare music and dance around the house without bothering him, isn’t it worth it?!

When you started reading this post you might have been thinking, “Why do men need a room solely for them?” What are you thinking now? We’d love for you to share your thoughts and stories on Man Space, and why it’s necessary for the both of you, so leave a comment below!