Name Change Advice

Looking for name change advice or some tips for newlywed life? The MissNowMrs experts have created state-specific name change articles and checklists for you. We’ve chronicled our recommendations for how to travel while changing your name AND how to handle voting during the transition.

We’ve also compiled our best guidance for how to handle difficult sister in laws, holidays as newlyweds, the ever-annoying baby questions, and much more. Why? Because, while we are name change experts, we’re also newlywed wives, moms, and sisters.

We hope our name change advice articles help smooth your transition to your new name, and a whole new phase of life. Congratulations and best wishes from the entire MissNowMrs team!

Say Yes to Your Health

It is incredibly important to say yes to your health. Now that you’re married (and maybe even have children/step-children in the mix) you are faced with the responsibility of taking care of someone else in your life. While this may be true, the ultimate truth is, “The best way to take care of those you care about is to take care of YOURSELF.”

It may sound selfish, but it really isn’t if you think about it. No one benefits from a spouse or parent who is always tired, stressed out, or ill. So let me offer you some of the best ways to make sure you are getting what you need in life to ensure that others will get what they need out of you:

Sleep: You’ve been told this all your life and I’m going to tell you again. Your body needs adequate sleep in order to function, so be sure to get 7-8 hours of sleep every night. If you notice that you are really tired in the morning, try going to bed at least 15 minutes earlier to see if this helps you feel more rested.

Me Time: Be sure to set at least 15-30 minutes (or more) aside each day for yourself. You could read a book, watch your favorite show, sit on your patio and watch the sunset or take a walk…anything that you want to do during that time is for YOU.

Smile & Be Grateful: Try your hardest to smile and think of what you’re grateful for each and every day. Smiling takes less muscles than frowning and makes other people smile too, so just do it! Thinking of your life and everyone/everything in it that you’re grateful for will make you smile anyway.

Simplify Your Life: There’s nothing wrong with making a To-Do List, but recognize the things that don’t really ‘have to’ get done that day. Running around day-in-and-day-out like a crazy person will only drag you down and make you feel exhausted. Remember, your spouse/family will love you just as much if your dinners aren’t always made from scratch or your gifts aren’t always handmade by you. If you have kids in the mix…organizing a carpool to soccer practice so you can alternate days will go a long way!

Learn to when to Say ‘No’ & when to Say ‘Yes’: If you’re traveling every weekend out-of-town for business, or to visit family or college friends you have to realize that turning people down once in a while is exactly what you NEED to do. Obviously, you can’t turn down your boss (in most cases) so unfortunately; your family and friends will need to understand when you need a weekend to relax alone. By saying “no” to another happy hour, bridal shower, baby shower, birthday party you are saying “yes” to yourself. You can still show your thoughts by sending a gift when appropriate, but when your body is telling you to slow down, do it.

Exercise/Eat right: You’re not a teenager anymore, so stop eating like one! You only get one body, so think about how the decisions you make will affect your health. It’s impossible to take care of a spouse or child if you are ill, so remember that the next time you opt out of fruits, vegetables and multi-vitamins!

Tell us what you do to put yourself FIRST. How are you saying yes to your health? We love to be inspired by our readers, so leave your thoughts and ideas by commenting below!

Newlywed Life: Unplugged

It’s high time for newlywed life: unplugged. You planned the big day using all of the best online tools, jetted off to your honeymoon (booked online of course) and sent an e-blast announcing your return home and new address. You’re one high tech woman and we at MissNowMrs salute you! That being said, there are times when you can appreciate life and your spouse more without the use of technology. Our challenge to you? Spend a day unplugged with the one you love.

Turn off your phone(s) – While your phone can keep you connected across the miles, it can also constantly distract you from the moment you’re living in. Make a pact to turn off your phones on Friday evening and don’t look at them again until Sunday morning. You’ll be amazed at how much more time you have with your beloved and how much more you will actually listen to what they have to say when you’re not being interrupted by various calls and texts.

Leave the ipod/ipad at home – We all love music and entertainment, but spending time solely focused on each other can do nothing but boost your relationship. You can take a walk and listen to each other and the sounds of nature around you or have a picnic at your local park. The result? Feeling more connected to each other and more at peace in your world.

Lose the remote – Picture this: sitting on the couch with your hubby and not watching television. Without the distraction of reality television or ESPN you can spend time together the old fashioned way…talking, playing a game or planning something fun to do over the weekend. You may find out that your husband is a lot more interesting than the re-run you would’ve watched and that you share one more thing in common (like being terrible at Scrabble).

Will you take the newlywed life: unplugged challenge or have you done something similar? We’d love to hear your unplugged results and personal revelations!

Living Up to In-laws’ Expectations: Common Mistakes

Are you concerned about living up to your in-laws’ expectations? One of the more stressful parts of getting married for many women is making a good impression on the in-laws. In some cases, these new family members have been known and well received for years. That sort of head start is certainly advantageous, but it does not always work that way, especially in this day and age when parents often live many, many miles away.

There are a few things that recently engaged individuals and newlyweds frequently do that can make this transition to becoming a member of the family more difficult. To learn more about what you shouldn’t do when seeking the approval of your in-laws, read on.

Avoid Venting It is not uncommon to remain very close with certain members of the family – whether a parent or a sibling – even after moving to another town or another state. Venting, or the act of voicing concerns, complaints, and problems to that person can be very therapeutic. After all, it is someone that you know that you can trust and who will love you regardless of the mistakes you make in life.

However, there is a time to vent and a time to use restraint. When it comes to your spouse (or soon-to-be), the latter is definitely the way to go. Discussing relationship issues with a family member can lead to severed and hard to repair ties that will undoubtedly make your spouse feel like an outcast.

Too Much Hype Okay, so you don’t want your spouse to tell his mother, father, sister, or brother all of your faults in life. Perhaps you don’t want him sharing any of them, but there is some danger that lies in telling only the good or overplaying talents. If you do not see your in-laws often and they are led to believe that you are the ‘perfect wife,’ then surely there will be more room for criticism when visits do occur. Remind your husband that though he loves and cherishes you for everything you are, you want to be able to live up to the image he creates in the minds of his loved ones.

Preparation Craze A final mistake made by many newlyweds is the act of over-preparing for the arrival of their parents. It is very common for people to feel the need to tidy their living space, their personal appearance, and their lives in general whenever parents come into town. Stressing yourself out before your in-laws show up will only put you even more on edge and make it more difficult to maintain your normal cool, calm, collected composure during the shared time. Let them see what your life is really like (no, you don’t always wake up and bake muffins at 6:00 a.m. on Saturdays). It will lead to a better understanding in the long run.

What advice do you have for our newlywed blog readers who are stressed about living up to in-laws’ expectations? Any major “don’ts” that stand out in your own in-law experiences? We’d love to hear from you in a comment!

Just 5 Minutes

How many times have you asked your spouse for “just 5 minutes” of their time? Did he/she give you those 5 minutes or did you get a list of a million and one reasons why “now is not a good time?” Too often we believe that our time and needs are more important than the time and needs of our spouse. After 4+ years of marriage I’ve figured out that our needs are equally important (don’t judge me…you know you’ve put yourself first before too)! Time is precious (lets face it, we’re all busy and/or stressed out about work, bills, etc.) so why not take those few extra minutes to slow down and enjoy one another’s company or make our spouse’s life a little less stressful?

Here are some examples of what you can do for your spouse that take just about 5 minutes or so and could result in YOU making his/her day that much better!

1. Take out the trash
2. Rub or scratch his/her back
3. Hug/Kiss
4. Hit the snooze button for an extra few minutes of cuddling time (a.k.a “spooning”)
5. Listen to how his/her day was
6. Feed and/or walk the dog
7. Throw in a load of laundry and/or fold a load of clean laundry
8. Pick up his/her favorite adult beverage to enjoy together at home
9. Pick up his/her favorite take-out to enjoy dinner at home (sans cooking)
10. Pack his/her lunch for the next day

It’s the little gestures and things that matter most in married life (and life in general), so the next time your spouse asks you for “5 minutes” remember that he/she wouldn’t ask if they didn’t really need you.

What is your initial reaction when your spouse asks you for “5 minutes?” What do you do for your spouse (or does your spouse do for you) to make life a little bit easier?

Know Your Role: When to Speak & When to Keep Quiet

How do you know your role as a friend? When do you speak up, and when do you stay quiet? Obviously, we’re never going to get along with everyone that we cross paths with in life, but you hope to maintain and continue developing on certain relationships with those who have always been close to you! So, what do you do when one of your close girlfriends has fallen in love with someone whose presence annoys you and everyone else around you, and you find his company and conversations to be anything but enjoyable!?

Whether or not you have been personally faced with this issue, you most likely know someone who has. So a friend has been dating this guy for quite some time now, and you just know the ring is on its way! Often times, between the girlfriends, we will commiserate (gossip) together and play rock, paper, scissors, to see who is going to step forward, and express our concern to our friend.

This is an extremely fine line, as you could either end up helping her see your perspective and understand your worry, or you could end up losing a friend! I would believe the latter of the two happens more frequently than not, so you both or all end up losing in the end. I can see both sides of the situation, you want to support your friend and be there for her no matter what, but on the other hand, you want to ‘save’ her from what you believe to be an escalating bad situation.

After explaining this scenario to a neutral party, I believe I have heard the best advice yet, so I wanted to share it with you, and also find out your opinion. The next time you hear of this situation or you find yourself in it, put your own feelings aside and think about your friend’s feelings, by asking yourself these two questions:

1. Does she love this man and does he love her?
(Although you may find him to be personally annoying, do they seem to treat each other right, i.e. respect one another’s needs and wants in their relationship).
2. Are they truly happy together?
(Does your friend constantly have a smile on her face when they’re together and does she speak positively about him and their relationship)? This is where you will find your answer!

Have you found yourself struggling to know your role? Please share your advice with us, tell us how you reacted, and what was the outcome!