Family

Looking for name change advice or some tips for newlywed life? The MissNowMrs experts have created state-specific name change articles and checklists for you. We’ve chronicled our recommendations for how to travel while changing your name AND how to handle voting during the transition.

We’ve also compiled our best guidance for how to handle difficult sister in laws, holidays as newlyweds, the ever-annoying baby questions, and much more. Why? Because, while we are name change experts, we’re also newlywed wives, moms, and sisters.

We hope our name change advice articles help smooth your transition to your new name, and a whole new phase of life. Congratulations and best wishes from the entire MissNowMrs team!

3 Newlywed Holiday Tips

Looking for newlywed holiday tips? Being newlyweds opens an entirely new life…a life together. Most of the time that is an amazing thing to explore. Occasionally newlywed life can be a little scary as you navigate two families and holiday expectations. The worst thing you can do is “go with the flow” and make everyone but yourselves happy. Your first holidays together and how you handle them with your family will set a precedent for the rest of your married lives. Read on for a few tips to make the holidays more comfortable as newlyweds.

Holiday Tip 1: Know what you want for “your” holiday
If you and your spouse never discuss what would make you individually and collectively happy over the holidays, you’re setting yourselves up for unhappiness. Understanding the key thing for each person that makes a holiday special and making sure you prioritize those two things is tangible goal you can set and work to achieve together. If you have made a holiday plan together, it will be easier to communicate with your families. Instead of stammering and somehow agreeing to a dinner you know your spouse will hate. You can say “We made a plan to spend Christmas Eve in front of the fire together as newlyweds.”

Holiday Tip 2: Set gift expectations
Even if you have been dating for years, marriage can change a person’s expectations around the holidays. Talk about setting a gift budget for each other and your families. You won’t lose the element of surprise, but you will mitigate the disaster of supremely mis-matched gifts and hurt feelings. Unsure what to get each other? Consider booking a trip or purchasing a gym membership together. Memories and good habits early on will influence your marriage for years to come!

Holiday Tip 3: You can’t do it all
As you are building your married relationship, you can be tempted to do everything possible to make your spouse, family, their family, and friends happy. Don’t, it’s a recipe for burnout. Take this holiday season as a time to reflect on who is important to you and spend time with them. Not everyone needs a gift. Sometimes a coffee, cocktail, or email is all you need to spread cheer and good will.

As you enter into the holiday season with your husband or wife…remember how blessed you are to be spending it with the person you love. Don’t forget to tell them, take pictures, make memories, and have fun! Happy holidays newlyweds!

Your Holiday, My Holiday, Our Holiday?

Your holiday, my holiday, our holiday? These are questions all newlyweds face. Passover and Easter are right around the corner. Do you know what your holiday plans are? Hopefully the answer is “yes”. As a newlywed couple it’s really important to discuss the holiday, who you’ll see and what the expectations of each family are. Communication and prior planning are the best ways to avoid disappointing both families and your spouse. Below are a few of the most common holiday scenarios and some suggestions to make them successful!

In-Law Holiday

Are you spending quality time with your in-laws this weekend? There are a few things you can do to make the holiday go smoothly. First, get the scoop from your spouse. What does his family typically do (it helps to know if you’re expected to play flag football or croquette) and pack accordingly. Also, email or call his mom to ask if you can bring something. If she says no, be sure to bring a hostess gift of flowers or chocolates! You can also score family bonus points by bringing something for your new nieces and nephews.

The Holidays with Your Family

Preparing to spend time with your folks? Talk to your spouse about what your family traditions are and ask what his favorite part of the holidays are. You can ask your parents to add a favorite dish or activity to make him feel included.

Holidays at Both Family’s Houses

If you live close to both sets of your parents and they can be flexible on meal times, this may be the best way to begin your holidays together. Brunch with your family and dinner with his gives you the best of both worlds and satisfies both families, but be aware that you may be setting the expectation that you’ll do double holidays for eternity!

Combined Family Holiday at Your House

Hosting a holiday as newlyweds is a great way for your families to get to know each other post-wedding. Just be sure to talk to both sides and make sure that they’re okay with spending time as a group. The first celebration will be the biggest adjustment for all of you (especially if you are a mixed religion couple), but if you can incorporate traditions from both sides and let both moms bring something for the meal you’re on the road to a successful event. Don’t forget to add a tradition or dish that is totally yours!

Just the Two of You

Too far away to spend Passover or Easter with your families? Consider the weekend as a great way to spend time together as a couple and create a memorable holiday and possibly some traditions. You could go out for a meal or make your own elaborate feast. Making Easter baskets for each other can also be fun!

Party of 2 + Friends

Spending the holidays away from family and know a few other people who are too? Host a holiday brunch and have each guest bring a component. You’ll all bond over a meal and not feel like you missed out on the holiday hubbub that families share. Feel free to be creative when planning your holiday event, I often host an Easterita (pastel colored margaritas) party in the evening for friends and neighbors to unwind after time spent with their families!

However you spend the coming weekend, be grateful that you have a loving spouse to share the holidays with. We’d love to hear your plans in a comment!

Family Gift Giving 101: Newlywed Holiday Etiquette

Newlywed holiday etiquette, it’s so important! The holidays are filled with happiness, love, good food, great friends, and the creation of many wonderful memories. However, for many, this time of year also comes with great stress, as one is forced to consider the etiquette of gift giving within a new family.

It is absolutely wonderful to give a gift and enjoy the look of thrill that comes with opening it, but giving a gift to a person who wasn’t expecting it often means giving a handful of guilt as well. When you are the one on the receiving end, with nothing to give in return, it can be horribly embarrassing. So now that you’re part of a new family, how do you know who you are supposed to buy for and how much to spend?

Who Should You Be Buying For? This is often the first question asked in new marriages. While it might be obvious what gifts need to be purchased on your side of the family, because you are very familiar with the traditions, it can be far more difficult deciding which relatives of your spouse will expect a present. One of the easiest ways to figure this out is to inquire about the annual holiday events. Is there a big get-together with the extended family? Who attends it? Are gifts exchanged and how?

In many families, especially large families, it is nearly impossible to get a gift for every member, so names will be drawn from a hat so each person buys just one gift. Others may choose to have a gift swap for which each person brings one or two wrapped gifts and names are drawn deciding the order in which participants choose from the table of presents.

Knowing what happens at your spouse’s holiday gatherings can often save you a great deal of worry. If you are still unsure of the situation, consider stockpiling a few small items wrapped and on hand for unexpected circumstances. Consider small ornaments, kitchen gadgets, scarfs, candles or other items that anyone might enjoy and if someone gives you a gift who you haven’t shopped for, use one of these standbys to prevent an uncomfortable situation.

How Much Should You Spend? This question should not have a universal answer. Each family faces a different set of financial circumstances. Staying on budget with your holiday shopping should be the primary goal, rather than worrying about what others are going to shell out for gifts. Create a budget for what you can afford, who you need to buy for, and divide the total among them. That way, there will be no question as to whether or not you have spent enough – you have spent what you can afford.

As a final note, in some families, there will be a price limit set for gifts. If that is the case, abide by the guideline, even if you feel that it is really too little. This avoids embarrassing those who can’t afford to spend more.

Are you anxious about holiday shopping for your in-laws this year? Hopefully our newlywed holiday etiquette explanations helped. Stay tuned for our Top 10 In-Law gifts post later this week!

Thanksgiving As Newlyweds: Tips For Success

Ready for your first Thanksgiving as newlyweds? Millions of men and women before you have successfully hosted Thanksgiving, so why should you and your spouse be any different? The Thanksgiving meal is feared nearly as much as it is enjoyed each year.

After all, the many side dishes that come together with the giant bird require a lot of organization and planning if they are to be prepared and served correctly. That certainly doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t give it a try with hubby, but it does mean that you will want to create a game plan before you begin.

Deciding Who to Invite – One of the most difficult moments in every new marriage comes with deciding what should happen at the holidays. Whose family should be visited and when? How will the time be divided and who will be dined with? Having a dinner in your own home can help to avoid some of those uncomfortable moments, but you will still need to formulate a guest list that will likely be based on the amount of space you have for entertaining, the existing plans of loved ones, and the distance between you and them.

Work together to draw up the best possible list as far in advance as you can, so you can give friends and family members ample time to re-arrange schedules. Have a fussy family or a few “difficult family members”? Consider a seating chart…so draw upon who sat by whom at your wedding and got along and arrange your table accordingly.

Planning a Menu – The great part about Thanksgiving is that most of the meal is dependent on tradition. Unfortunately, while is the common denominator, many families will vary substantially in the rest of their menus. But, with some work, you can make a meal that pulls a little something special from each family’s traditions and makes everyone feel comfortable, welcome, and ultimately, full. Also, think about asking each family invited to bring a favorite side or dessert. This potluck concept lowers your workload and allows family members to feel included in the meal.

Shopping and Cooking – There is good reason that the Thanksgiving meal is consumed only once per year. It often requires a huge number of ingredients, a lot of space for preparation, and a great deal of time to make it happen. Fortunately, there are two of you and that means that tasks can be divided among you to make the whole event much more manageable. Enjoy the shopping time together, getting excited about the impending meal and work together to divvy up the cooking.

When it comes time to create, turn on some music that you both enjoy. Sing along, laugh together, and enjoy the special memories that are being made on your very first Thanksgiving. While one boils and mashes potatoes, another can be basting the turkey and chopping veggies for other dishes. With two sets of hands, what might be a very chaotic experience can be very enjoyable.

Here’s to you and your first Thanksgiving as newlyweds! Stay tuned to our newlywed blog for Thanksgiving pie recipes and ideas.

Answering the Inevitable When Are You Having Kids?

You’re back from your honeymoon for a few weeks and WHAMMO…someone asks “When are you going to have kids?”. That someone is usually a well meaning family member. Why are parents and family members so hung up on when you’re going to have kids? Shouldn’t they just be excited that you’ve met and married the love of your life?!

Whether you have decided to wait a while, or are choosing not to have children at all, prepare yourself (and your spouse) to field questions on the subject numerous times. Being prepared and united as a couple on the topic of babies can minimize the impact of family questioning on your relationship.

From your parents or your spouse’s, the insinuations about having babies are not something that really want to deal with as a newlywed, but you must also understand the reasons that parents feel so inclined to speak up on the subject. Their curiosity might have more to do with fears of their own mortality than anything else. In many cases, the desire to have grandchildren is linked to the desire to carry on the family name, family ownership of a business, or simply the bloodline.

In other situations, the concerns regarding your decision to wait or to not have children at all can stem from the desire to relive their own parenthood or worries over your fertility as you get older. Many parents look back at their child-rearing years as the best time of their lives. When those children have left the home, it is the hope and anticipation for grand babies that provides them the most joy.

Whether it is for one of these reasons or something else altogether, it is obvious that your family love you and wants you to be happy. So next time they ask about you starting a family, remember that the feelings tied to the questions likely run deep. For that reason, be considerate and assure the person that you understand and appreciate the concern, but also be firm.

The best way to answer the “When are you having kids?” question eloquently is to understand your own reasons for making your decision. Does the decision tie to financial reasoning? Is genetic illness playing a role in the decision? Are you simply tied to a profession that wouldn’t provide enough time to properly care for children? While you may not want to express them all, you will feel much more certain of yourself if you’ve identified your core reasons for waiting or not having children.

Whatever your reasons are, be sure to point out that despite the questions, comments, and concerns voiced by others, the decision is one to be made as a couple and that is exactly how you intend to make it.

Have you been hounded by family about when are you having kids? How have you handled the questions and kept your relationship healthy? We’d love to hear in a comment!