Newlywed Tips

Looking for name change advice or some tips for newlywed life? The MissNowMrs experts have created state-specific name change articles and checklists for you. We’ve chronicled our recommendations for how to travel while changing your name AND how to handle voting during the transition.

We’ve also compiled our best guidance for how to handle difficult sister in laws, holidays as newlyweds, the ever-annoying baby questions, and much more. Why? Because, while we are name change experts, we’re also newlywed wives, moms, and sisters.

We hope our name change advice articles help smooth your transition to your new name, and a whole new phase of life. Congratulations and best wishes from the entire MissNowMrs team!

Newlywed In Bed

Newlywed in bed? Now that you’re sharing a house, life and possibly a last name…you’re also sharing a bed…every night. While there are some definite benefits to sharing a bed with your mate there can also be a few adjustments too. Here are a few common newlywed bed complaints and fixes.

1.Snoring
No matter who in the couple is the culprit, snoring can wreck a good night’s sleep and cause some serious resentment in the morning. Try to figure out what causes the snoring: allergies, dry air or laying on his/her back and then fix the situation. Simply popping a decongestant or buying a humidifier could be your solution or one of you may need to get some ear plugs. If, after trying some of our suggestions, the snoring situation is still leading to sleep deprivation make a doctor’s appointment. There are medical conditions that can cause snoring and you want to make sure your best beloved is diagnosed and treated.

2. Cover Stealing
Anyone who has ever woken up at 3:00am freezing cold and looked over to see their partner cocooned in all of the blankets knows how annoying cover stealing can be. Fortunately, there are a few alternatives to an all night game of cover tug of war. One thing to try is tucking in your side of the sheets and blankets to anchor them in place. You could also consider buying the next size up in linens (ex: buy King size sheets for your Queen size bed) to have more “coverage” available.

3. Miscellaneous Pets
It’s enough to share a bed with your husband, but what about the combination of your pets? One of you may be dead set on letting Fluffy sleep with you, but there are a few things to consider. Does the animal disrupt either partner’s sleep? Is there a possibility that Fido has fleas or ticks that could end up in your bed or on you? Does a pet in the bed decrease your likelihood of getting it on? Here’s an article that covers the pros and cons of sleeping with your pets. At the end of the day, you need to make a decision that results in you being a well-rested and happy couple. If you’re feeling really guilty about giving a pet the boot out of the bedroom, you can always buy them their own fabulous bed!

4. Snooze Addicts
As a single person, it is completely acceptable to hit the snooze button on your alarm several (okay more than several) times each morning. As a newlywed it is insanely rude! Unless your spouse gets up before you or is an absolute saint, you need to find a way to decrease the number of snoozes. Going to bed 15-30 minutes earlier in the evening may make waking up the first time the alarm goes off easier. You could also try positioning your alarm clock across the room so you have to get out of bed to turn it off…thus decreasing the likelihood that you’ll roll over and go back to sleep.

Do you have a newlywed in bed pet peeve or story? We’d love for you to share it with us and our readers!

Co-habitation: Newlywed Surprises and Compromises

Cohabitation can be full of newlywed surprises and compromises. If you’re moving in together after the Big Day, you probably can’t wait to start married life together. What could be more romantic than sharing a home, waking up together and never having to wait to see each other? With all of this built up anticipation, the challenges of early co-habitation might catch you off guard. There are several things to consider as you plan your move-in to help smooth the transition and ensure newlywed bliss.

If your partner is moving into your house, make room for him. Empty a closet (this can include a painful trip to Goodwill) in your room for his clothes, and if room permits, give him a room that is “his”. These small acts will show your man that you have made room for him in your home and in your life. He will sincerely appreciate the fact that you don’t expect him to squeeze himself and his stuff in a corner. Added bonus: the man room can be a great place to put any of his bachelor “décor.”

If you’re both moving to a new place after the wedding, consider how much space you’ll need based on how much stuff you both have. If neither of you can part with the majority of your furniture, you might need a much larger place than you anticipated. This brings us to potentially one of the harder parts of living together…combining your stuff. Try to be as rational as possible when approaching the big merge. If you have a ratty old couch from college and he has a new sofa, concede that his should be the one you keep (even if it is orange). Make trades, such as “I’ll get rid of this lamp if you get rid of that recliner”.

If you can’t come to a decision you both feel good about, consider donating both items and buying a new one together. It’s important to realize that with the addition of all of your wedding gifts, it is virtually impossible to keep all of each person’s belongings.

Living or moving somewhere with two bathrooms? I highly recommend starting a marriage with your own bathroom. Learning to live with someone can be stressful, and allocating bathrooms allows you to keep your current morning schedule without interrupting each other. It also circumvents any disputes about cabinet space and leaving seat up vs. leaving the seat down. Small amounts of personal space allow you both to breathe and adjust to living together.

No matter where you’re living or moving to, communication and planning are key. Try to hash out the majority of major co-habitation decisions before your move. Take into account both partners’ current schedules, commutes, belongings and ideas as you come up with a mutual plan to co-habitate and start your journey of married life together. A little planning goes a long way towards happily ever after!

Do you have any funny co-habitation newlywed surprises and compromises? We’d love to hear how you accidentally used an expensive bottle of “his” wine to make spaghetti sauce or how he ended up washing his hair with your fancy body lotion!

3 Things You Can Do to Keep Your Guy Friends and A Happy Wife

Now that you’re married, how do you keep your guy friends? Guys always tend to have a posse of guy friends. After all, they are who you watch your favorite sports games with, sometimes they are who you work with, and overall, they are who you have a good time with. There are some times though, when your wife may not be particularly thrilled with some of your buddies. You may be lucky and everyone gets along beautifully. But then there may be a few moments when you realize things are becoming a bit tense between times when you hang out with the guys and when you are with your wife.

Seeking out the right balance between your friends and your true love can occasionally seem a bit tricky, but try following these three simple concepts:

1. Don’t let the guys talk you into anything you are uncomfortable with (or that you know your wife would seriously object to!).
Many women object to a man’s friends because of the things he does with them. From getting drunk to doing something ridiculous, your wife might worry that they are a bad influence on you. Their potential bad influence as well as your wife’s disapproval can lead to a knot of problems. Any time you go out with your friends, remember that you are an adult and will make adult decisions. Your friends should not be able to talk you into anything that you do not want to do. Likewise, if you know your wife has a serious problem with something in particular, you can make her a much happier woman by agreeing to stop that specific activity and stick to your promise.

2. Make sure to balance out time with the guys and time with her.
It isn’t hard to understand that men will need some time with other men. Just as your wife goes out with her girlfriends for a fun day of shopping or a spa treatment, she understands your need to hang out with the guys and relax. As long as you balance out time with your friends and time with your wife, everyone will be happy. If you spend each and every night with the guys and never spend any alone time with your wife, it won’t be any surprise that you come home to a very unhappy woman! She married you – she loves you, and she wants to be with you. When you show her that you can manage time with her and time with the guys, she will feel comfortable in your commitment to her.

3. Remind her that she is #1 in your heart.
When it comes down to the wire – the guys or your wife – let her know that she is your #1 choice. Sometimes it may be as simple as telling her you love her and you intend to be home by a specific time and then honor that promise. Or it may mean staying home on your anniversary when the guys have prime hockey tickets. Just remember, honoring your new wife will only result in good things for you. Trust us….it’s worth it!

5 Newlywed Rules to Throw Out the Window

One of the most annoying things that will happen to you upon becoming a newlywed is receiving unwanted, unsolicited advice from other people (both single and married)! They will bombard you with all of the ‘Newlywed Rules’ and tell you how to live your life the ‘right way’ in order to be happy. My question is: How do they know what makes you and/or your spouse happy? And what’s with the cookie-cutter way of living life, anyway?! Some of the most common rules are as follows along with reasons why you don’t have to follow them:

Rule #1: Spend All Free Time Together
We are hoping that you already realize that this is not possible and could be quite boring! If you DO end up spending ALL your free time together you’re not only going to run out of interesting things to talk about, but you will also lose touch with your family and friends. You may also find yourselves fighting more because you are sick of each other! So, get out once in awhile and enjoy catching up with friends or having time to yourself!

Rule #2: Stop Hanging Out with your Single Friends
Wait, what?! The idea that you and your spouse are a married couple and should work on replacing your single friends with other married couples is just ridiculous. It’s a great idea to have a mix of married and single friends so that when you decide to host a dinner or Super Bowl party there’s more than just one ‘type’ of person in your crowd. It will make for more interesting and dynamic conversation and an overall better time!

Rule #3: You Must go Out on Dates to be Happy
While my husband and I stick to having at least one Date Night per week (we don’t have children yet—and realize that it gets trickier when you add them to the mix), it is not necessary that you and your spouse go OUT on a date each week. Date Night doesn’t always have to mean dinner at your favorite restaurant and a movie at your local theater (that could seriously put a strain on your budget)! Your date could consist of a night at home cuddled up on the couch with your spouse. Do what works for the two of you and don’t worry about what the definition of a date is to other couples.

Rule #4: You should both Share a Last Name/Bank Account/Gym or Country Club Membership/Etc.
Nowadays 86.6% of women change their name in some way due to marriage, but that doesn’t mean that you have to. Many women are opting to have 2 last names (with or without a hyphen) or to replace their middle name with their maiden name. Now men are even changing their last name to their wife’s last name upon marriage and some couples are changing both their last names to a new last name! With all these choices out there, why would you worry about what someone else wants you to do?

It’s okay if you and your spouse decide to keep your own last names or separate bank accounts and just split the bills in half. Believe me, companies are going to accept your payment whether it comes from one check or a combination of two checks—they just want the bill paid on-time! As for your gym membership–if you attend a private Yoga or Pilates class and your spouse has a membership at a different gym, don’t feel obligated to make changes to your fitness routine. Sometimes you can save money by combining your memberships, but if there’s not that big of a difference in price or you’re not worried about losing the money than keep attending your own classes (and consider it ME time)!

Rule #5: Make a 5-Year Plan
If you are the type of person who sets goals and has a better chance of achieving them by writing them down on paper, than do it! Some people tend to stress out if they don’t reach their goals in the time they allotted to do so and end up dwelling on the idea of failure when this happens. If you are more-likely to freak out if you miss a deadline, then making a 5-year plan could be a bad idea for you. You will drive your spouse crazy with your what ifs, should have, could have, would haves! Why not just enjoy the first few years of marriage without having to worry about your deadlines to: buy a house, start a new career, start a family, go on a 2-week European vacation, etc.?

We spend so much time worrying about someone else’s idea and vision of the perfect life that we forget to just LIVE ours! Remember, it doesn’t matter what other people are doing to make their marriages work because they aren’t a part of yours. No two marriages are exactly alike and what works your grandparents, parents, in-laws and friends may not work for you. So, focus on making sure you and your spouse are happy. Keep communicating, laughing, loving, and enjoying your fabulous life together!

We’d love hear what crazy ‘Newlywed Rules’ you’ve heard since your nuptials. Leave us a comment below and start a discussion with other Newlyweds!

3 Secrets to Preventing Newlywed Weight Gain

After your fiancé pops the question, there are a million thoughts that immediately run through your head, and then the planning begins! Along with the preparation for a wedding, most newlyweds also begin physically preparing themselves to fit into the wedding attire they’ve always dreamed of. This is usually accomplished through strict dieting and long hours at the gym! You probably haven’t thought about newlywed weight gain. Have you?

Well, what happens after the wedding? Your time is no longer consumed with wedding plans and it can be very easy to put on those extra few pounds, so get your spouse on board with you and come up with a diet and fitness plan to suit the both of you!

Healthy lifestyle tips and sites to help avoid newlywed weight gain

1. Healthy eating is an important concept when trying to loose or maintain your weight, but shopping healthy is probably the most important! If you and your spouse decide to establish a healthy lifestyle and learn to eat healthy early on in your marriage, it’s easier to maintain this habit down the road! Find yourself some healthy recipes, and construct your grocery list from there. Check out one of my favs: EatingWell.com. Try to stay away from the junk when you’re shopping; this is a true test of will-power ladies. As you know the more accessible it is, the more frequently you’re going to help yourself and indulge! And remember the golden rule… do not go grocery shopping when hungry!

2. If you’re like me, then you’ve tried every diet regimen out there and have completely exhausted your ‘dieting’ efforts, and now realize that not all diets were made for every BODY, because not all bodies are created equal, so decide what works best for you! Diets are often times short-lived, so just deciding to eat healthy, and watching portion sizes can be the key. Check out WebMD’s breakdown of healthy eating and diet. Sign up for their email newsletter and you’ll receive some cool healthy recipe ideas as well!

3. Some of you may already have your own routine at the gym and enjoy your alone time when exercising, but working out a few days with your spouse will give you the extra push your body needs. If you’re not a gym go-er, home video workouts is the new craze to really whip yourself into shape. If this is something you and your hubby can both commit to, it can be a fun activity and improve on teamwork! My personal favorite is: BeachBody.com.

Regardless of how you choose to exercise, it is important to find something you love. Remember to switch up your workout so that you’re not just going through the motions, so-to-speak, but also giving your fitness level an extra push! The summer months are the perfect time to take advantage of the warm weather when you have the opportunity, and plan your workout, outdoors! For some fitness tips and tricks around newlywed weight gain, check out what Self has to say.

Whatever you decide to do, do it together, you’ll be appreciative of each other’s support and establish a long, happy… healthy life together! You can also work together on your name change using our 20 step name change checklist.