Newlywed

Looking for name change advice or some tips for newlywed life? The MissNowMrs experts have created state-specific name change articles and checklists for you. We’ve chronicled our recommendations for how to travel while changing your name AND how to handle voting during the transition.

We’ve also compiled our best guidance for how to handle difficult sister in laws, holidays as newlyweds, the ever-annoying baby questions, and much more. Why? Because, while we are name change experts, we’re also newlywed wives, moms, and sisters.

We hope our name change advice articles help smooth your transition to your new name, and a whole new phase of life. Congratulations and best wishes from the entire MissNowMrs team!

When Your Sister-In-Law is a Jealous #$%^*

If you were expecting a new shopping and spa buddy, it may seem strange that your sister-in-law would be jealous of you and your spouse, but it’s surprisingly common. So, we have some helpful tips for what to do when your sister in law is jealous!

The issue may arise because she sees you as a potential threat to her bond with her sibling. She’s had them for so many years either as a big sibling to look up to or a loveable little brother/sister. But, now you’re in the picture, permanently, most likely with a new last name. Sometimes a sister-in-law will view this as her sibling being taken away from her. Now you get them all to yourself and she gets less time to be with them.

Kill Your Sister In Law with Kindness

Even though you know this isn’t true, you may find yourself stuck with a rude and downright mean sister-in-law. The troubling part is that while you may get hit with the brunt of her crappy attitude, your spouse may never see any of it. This may lead to many frustrating discussions in which you try to tell your partner about her bad behavior, only to be told it’s nonsense and the sister-in-law is not the person you are making her out to be.

Her behavior can vary. She may completely ignore you when you are talking or she may say rude things and, in general, be very negative. Whatever her attitude, it’s important that you not react to it. Remember – she is the one with the problem. Not you. There’s no reason to let her anger and issues get to you. Instead, you can kill her with kindness. People often don’t know what to do when they are mean and instead of seeing a frustrated response, get a smile and a pleasant comment. If she sees you as easily angered or flustered, then she will realize she has control.

Take Back Control

Your sister-in-law should not have control over you. You married your spouse because you loved them – anything she says should not be able to change that. You should plan to take back control (if necessary) by ignoring your sister-in-law at the right times and being polite the rest of the time. She will soon realize that everything negative that she does has no effect on you. This may result in her attempting to amp up her rudeness, but in doing so out of frustration, it may betray her to your spouse, thus bringing the whole issue into the light and shutting down the problem completely. Or she may discover that you aren’t there to steal away her beloved sibling and that you are a good person and she is in the wrong.

It can be frustrating and annoying, but by sticking to your guns when your sister-in-law comes around, you should be able to disarm the situation and eventually become friends with her. Still struggling with a sister in law who is jealous? Here’s another helpful article on the topic.

Name Change Help

While we can’t directly help you with your sister in law situation. We can absolutely help you with your name change. Check out our name change after marriage checklist for tips on saving time and stress!

Help Me Change My Name

Here’s a video about what to do when your sister in law is jealous

New Music, New Workout, New Newlywed You!

Ready for a new newlywed you? Working out is not only a physical thing, but it’s a mental thing too! In order to push yourself physically, you first need to mentally encourage yourself and think positively in order to reach your fitness goals! Do you find yourself walking out of the gym (or limping!) and you feel so much more mentally refreshed and happier than how you felt when walking in? Exercising has such a fantastic effect on your mental state-of-mind!

After having instructed various aerobics classes for many years, I will tell you that there is one factor that can completely alter your mindset, and ultimately control your workout, and that is listing to music while working on your fitness! I absolutely cannot step foot into a gym without my ipod, and if I forget it, then I forgo my workout for the day! I wanted to share a few tips, tricks, and songs with you, and I hope you’ll share yours with me too!

If you have not yet invested in an iPod or some mobile musical device, don’t worry, Christmas is coming! Hint, hint to your hubby! There have been so many studies conducted to show the correlation between listening to music and working out, here’s a good study to check out. Your heart rate increases, your energy level is up, and you’re pushing yourself harder! The way your body subconsciously responds to music, does wonders for your disposition, intermittent mood swings, especially during pms!

So–if you are in a rut, or going through the motions on the elliptical, here’s the deal! Number one- change up your play list! I have recently dedicated techno music to my cardio workouts and practice intervals! Try to maintain a pace that is in sync with the tempo of your music, so this way you’re switching it up from song-to-song!

Intervals are not only a big key to burning fat, but will keep you focused and concentrating on the amount of effort you’re putting into your workout! The more you focus and get into your workout, the better your new newlywed you results are going to be!
Here are some of my top fav cardio songs:

Black Eyed Peas- Pump It!
Black Eyed Peas- Hey Mama!
Rusted Root- Ecstacy
Cascada- Evacuate the Dance Floor
Christina Aguilera – Dirty
Flo Rida – Low
Petey Pablo – Show Me The Money
Pitbull and Enrique Iglesias- I Like It
Lady Gaga- Bad Romance
Usher – OMG

What songs are on your gym play list…any tried and true winners? Share them with us with a comment! We’d love to hear how you’re creating a new newlywed you.

Fabulous Fall Cocktails

Are you ready for some fabulous fall cocktails?! The air is crisp and the leaves are turning beautiful colors…two indicators that Fall is now upon us. Take some time to savor the season as a newlywed with a trip to a pumpkin patch or a romantic walk through the woods. When you return, what could be more fun than enjoying a seasonal beverage together or with a group of friends?

Our Favorite Autumn Cocktail: The Smore’s Martini – Get that festive Fall feeling with this toasted-marshmallow treat in a glass!
S’more Martini Recipe
• 8 ounces chocolate vodka (we used Stoli)
• 4 ounces chocolate liqueur (we used Godiva)
• 1 graham cracker
• 1 jar marshmallow creme
• 4 martini glasses
• 4 mini wooden skewers
• 1 bag mini marshmallows
Pour vodka and chocolate liqueur into cocktail shaker. Crush a graham cracker in a plastic bag & then pour the crumbs into a small bowl.
Lightly coat the rims of the martini glasses with marshmallow creme. Next, dip each glass into the bowl of graham cracker crumbs and shake the bowl gently to cover the marshmallow creme with crumbs.

Place three mini marshmallows on each wooden skewer and then roast over a fire, your gas oven burner or a large candle.
Pour about 3 ounces of the drink mixture into each of the rimmed glasses and then slide in the roasted marshmallow skewers for a delicious garnish.
Serves 4 (or 2 responsible adults twice)!

Here’s five other cocktails guaranteed to help you celebrate the Fall:

Ginger Pear Martini – A crisp and zesty way to relax after a day full of sunshine, fall foliage and possibly a roll in the leaves. Here’s the recipe!

Autumn Delight – This delightful combination of whiskey, cider and cinnamon will warm you from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. Here’s the recipe!

Caramel Appletini – All that amazing sweet and tangy taste with none of the gooey mess. Who could ask for more from a martini? Here’s the recipe!

Hot Chambord Cider: A chic twist on the classic fall mug of cider, certain to add a rosy glow to your cheeks. Here’s the recipe!

Ginger Snap – This delectable drink has a kick that goes well beyond Grandma’s cookies. Here’s the recipe!

Do you have a signature fabulous Fall cocktail that you’d like to share? Please leave it for us in a comment and remember ladies…drink responsibly!

4 Best Newlywed Ways To Handle Annoying People

Need some newlywed ways to handle annoying people? We’ve covered the top 4 offenders and given you some solutions to tactfully tackle dealing with them.

The Neighbor that talks until he/she’s blue in the face. You and your spouse finally arrive at your house after your dreadful commute home from work and your neighbor is outside waiting to strike up a conversation that you know will last way longer than you have time or patience for. What do you do? You say, “I would love to catch up with you, but haven’t had anything to eat since noon, can we talk about this on the weekend?” or “I’ve been looking forward to spending time with my husband/wife all day, would you mind if we caught up at a different time?”

You can’t put them off forever, but it’s not rude to let someone know that you have had a day from …you know where…and would simply like to go inside and forget about it!

The House Guest that Never Leaves. Do you constantly have friends from high school or college over and they don’t know when to leave? Sure, you love catching up with old buddies and always enjoy laughing about the glory days, but at some point it’s time to say so long til next time. Try making plans for a specific time the day that you plan for your house guest to leave, such as dinner plans with local friends. The point is to have a specific end time in mind and stick to it. Discussing these plans with your house guest prior to them arriving is the best way not to offend anyone.

The Needy Sibling or Friend. Do you or your spouse have a brother, sister, or friend who relies on you for everything? I’m not talking about times that you should be there by there side (such as grieving, consoling them with a bad break-up or even a job loss). I’m talking about the individual that expects you to remember and remind them of important dates such as: Mom/Dad’s birthday, anniversaries, when their bills are due (or never has the money to pay them without borrowing the money from you).

If you grew up with a tight-knit family you know that it is never easy to say no to them for any reason, but there comes a time in life when you need to do what’s best for you and your new family…your spouse—and as a newlywed it is so important to put your spouse first to let them know that you value them and their role in your life. Tip: purchase a calendar and write all the important dates to be remembered in it and give it to your needy friend, and let them write their other obligations in it (such as bill due dates, etc.). After all, it really isn’t your responsibility to keep track of this for them anyway.

The Demanding Boss. Does your boss constantly pile more projects and responsibilities on your plate than any one human being should ever have to deal with at a time? Remember, you are one person and can only do what is humanly possible…one thing at a time! The best thing you can do is always be on time for work and know how you work best (i.e. make a checklist and tackle it in a timely manner—no, Twitter and Facebook are not acceptable unless your job is social media marketing…nice try though).

If the deadline is impossible for you to meet on your own consider asking a co-worker for assistance or sit-down with your boss and let him/her know that you are working on XYZ and would love to complete the task, but if the deadline can’t be pushed back it may be best for the project to be assigned to someone with fewer responsibilities. Any boss would prefer that you let them know of the issue instead of completing the task under par.

The list of people could go on and on, right?! If you have an example of an “annoying person” (no names please) and advice on how you deal with them, share it with our other readers by commenting below.

Newlyweds: 6 Tips to Bring Your Marriage Back to Life

Do you need a few tips to bring your marriage back to life? There are so many responsibilities in life that keep piling on your plate as you grow up, and may begin to interfere with your “alone” time with your spouse. Schedules can be so hectic that your marriage unintentionally is put on the back burner, causing frustration and tension to grow between the two of you, and your daily schedules may naturally become somewhat of a routine, and you simply go through the motions. If you have transitioned into parenthood, then you surely know that your life becomes kid-centric, as your attention, your emotion, and your everyday activities are focused on your little one now rather than each other.

If you’re experiencing this, you’re not alone, but the important thing is to recognize when your lifestyle is hurting your marriage, and then do something about it! Just as all things in life, it’s good to find a ‘healthy balance’ in all that you do.

Here are a few ideas to help keep your marriage alive and healthy:

*Surprise your spouse- who doesn’t love a surprise?! Sneak a note in your spouse’s lunch, or their brief case, just letting them know how much they are appreciated and loved!

*For parents – have a dinner date one night a week (after the kids are in bed) to relax together and enjoy one another’s company. Not a parent yet? You and your spouse could go out on a date once a week or as your schedules and budgets allow. Try going to a movie or dinner at your favorite restaurant.

*Day time chat- if you don’t normally communicate with your spouse during the work day, call, text, or write a quick email just to let the other one know that although you’re busy, you are still thinking of them, and while you’re at it you may want to even throw in some naughty comments that you wouldn’t say in front of the kiddos (however, keep the freaky emails to your personal email account, not your work email—otherwise you could find yourself in the HR Office or worse)!
*PDA’s – need I say more?

*Go for a walk with your spouse and hold hands. You will both benefit from the exercise, the physical connection and the uninterrupted adult conversation that distractions such as children, TV, internet, blackberries, iphones, etc. don’t permit!

*Think about what the two of you would do when you first got together…do it again! Sure you’re older and wiser, but you’re still a couple in-love…now show each other (and have some fun doing it)!
What have you done to rekindle your relationship? Our readers would love to know your tips and tricks to a happy and healthy relationship, so please leave a comment.