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Newlywed Solutions

name change advice

Looking for name change advice or some tips for newlywed life? The MissNowMrs experts have created state-specific name change articles and checklists for you. We’ve chronicled our recommendations for how to travel while changing your name AND how to handle voting during the transition.

We’ve also compiled our best guidance for how to handle difficult sister in laws, holidays as newlyweds, the ever-annoying baby questions, and much more. Why? Because, while we are name change experts, we’re also newlywed wives, moms, and sisters.

We hope our name change advice articles help smooth your transition to your new name, and a whole new phase of life. Congratulations and best wishes from the entire MissNowMrs team!

4 Best Newlywed Ways To Handle Annoying People

Need some newlywed ways to handle annoying people? We’ve covered the top 4 offenders and given you some solutions to tactfully tackle dealing with them.

The Neighbor that talks until he/she’s blue in the face.  You and your spouse finally arrive at your house after your dreadful commute home from work and your neighbor is outside waiting to strike up a conversation that you know will last way longer than you have time or patience for.  What do you do?  You say, “I would love to catch up with you, but haven’t had anything to eat since noon, can we talk about this on the weekend?” or “I’ve been looking forward to spending time with my husband/wife all day, would you mind if we caught up at a different time?” 

You can’t put them off forever, but it’s not rude to let someone know that you have had a day from …you know where…and would simply like to go inside and forget about it!

The House Guest that Never Leaves.  Do you constantly have friends from high school or college over and they don’t know when to leave?  Sure, you love catching up with old buddies and always enjoy laughing about the glory days, but at some point it’s time to say so long til next time.  Try making plans for a specific time the day that you plan for your house guest to leave, such as dinner plans with local friends.  The point is to have a specific end time in mind and stick to it.  Discussing these plans with your house guest prior to them arriving is the best way not to offend anyone.

The Needy Sibling or Friend.  Do you or your spouse have a brother, sister, or friend who relies on you for everything?  I’m not talking about times that you should be there by there side (such as grieving, consoling them with a bad break-up or even a job loss).  I’m talking about the individual that expects you to remember and remind them of important dates such as: Mom/Dad’s birthday, anniversaries, when their bills are due (or never has the money to pay them without borrowing the money from you). 

If you grew up with a tight-knit family you know that it is never easy to say no to them for any reason, but there comes a time in life when you need to do what’s best for you and your new family…your spouse—and as a newlywed it is so important to put your spouse first to let them know that you value them and their role in your life.  Tip: purchase a calendar and write all the important dates to be remembered in it and give it to your needy friend, and let them write their other obligations in it (such as bill due dates, etc.).  After all, it really isn’t your responsibility to keep track of this for them anyway.

The Demanding Boss.  Does your boss constantly pile more projects and responsibilities on your plate than any one human being should ever have to deal with at a time?  Remember, you are one person and can only do what is humanly possible…one thing at a time!  The best thing you can do is always be on time for work and know how you work best (i.e. make a checklist and tackle it in a timely manner—no, Twitter and Facebook are not acceptable unless your job is social media marketing…nice try though). 

If the deadline is impossible for you to meet on your own consider asking a co-worker for assistance or sit-down with your boss and let him/her know that you are working on XYZ and would love to complete the task, but if the deadline can’t be pushed back it may be best for the project to be assigned to someone with fewer responsibilities.  Any boss would prefer that you let them know of the issue instead of completing the task under par.

The list of people could go on and on, right?!  If you have an example of an “annoying person” (no names please) and advice on how you deal with them, share it with our other readers by commenting below.

Written by · Categorized: Etiquette, Newlywed Needs · Tagged: Etiquette, life hack, Marriage, Newlywed, Newlywed Solutions, Relationship

Maiden to Middle Name Change

Taking her maiden name as a middle name after marriage is one of the more popular name change choices of newlyweds today. Many women are attached to their maiden names for various reasons: they built a career using it, they are the only child to carry on the family name or they can’t imagine “being anyone else”. Adding her maiden name as a middle name allows for a woman to “keep” her maiden name while taking her husband’s last name, but avoid the mouthful of a hyphenated name.

News flash! More and more states are no longer recognizing a woman’s right to change her middle name based on marriage. What does this mean to newlyweds in the middle of name change? If you live in California, New Jersey, New York, New York City, Ohio (unless your Marriage Certificate shows your intended middle name), Pennsylvania or Washington you are unable to take your maiden name as your middle name as part of your married name change.

Be aware of your state’s policies regarding name change. If you file your government forms with a new middle name, but live in a state that disallows maiden to middle name change you will end up with mismatched identification documents. The reality of having a different name on your state driver’s license and your U.S. Passport can be unsettling. Travel will be tedious as you need to book any international flights in the name on your passport, but local flights should match your state driver’s license. There can also be issues if security is requiring two forms of ID (as yours won’t match). We highly recommend choosing one married name option and using it on ALL of your documents.

Petitioning the Court System

If a bride is dead set on changing her middle name, she will have to petition the U.S. court system via an attorney for a legal name change. This can be a very long and expensive process, but it might be the only way a couple can come to a married name they can agree upon. The moral of this blog posting is be sure to research your state’s name change policies before you begin your name change.

If you’d like to speak with a married name change expert about your particular state and situation, call the gurus at MissNowMrs. They’ll provide you with the most up-to-date information on your state for free! They can also help you consider alternate name change options if you end up being in a non-middle name change state.

Have you tried to change your name and run into red tape and state-specific issues? Share your story today and help another newlywed avoid unnecessary name change hassle! You can also check out our name change checklist for more help.

Written by · Categorized: Name Change After Marriage for Newlyweds, Newlywed Needs · Tagged: bride, maiden name, Maiden to Middle Name Change, Married Name Change, Name Change after Marriage, Name Change After Marriage for Newlyweds, Newlywed, Newlywed Solutions

Divvying Up The Newlywed Dirty Work

Newlwyed Dirty Work

Newlywed dirty work. What’s that?! Newlywed couples often find themselves arguing over who’s going to take care of the chores in their daily lives.  It’s tough when you both work full-time jobs or have opposite schedules to figure out what works best for you as a couple.  It’s normal to feel overwhelmed by responsibilities and feel like YOU do it all, but before you rip into your spouse for not pulling his weight around the house think about everything he DOES take care of by making a list. 

If your list is completely one sided, it may be time to discuss splitting the household chores ASAP for your own sanity!  Some couples are lucky enough to work the same schedule allowing them to partake in chore duty together, even making them fun.  If you and your spouse aren’t one of these couples, you can still allocate the chores and get them done on your own time.

Here are some of the most common, laborious chores that couples despise along with a few helpful tips on how to share the burden!

Cooking: One of you could prepare dinner and the other could be in charge of washing the dishes.  You could even alternate nights and take turns trying new recipes with each other.  One way to keep it interesting is to recipe swap with family members or friends.  You may find that you and/or your spouse aren’t cut out to be the next Iron Chef, but that you enjoy cooking and most of all, the time spent learning how to cook together!

Cleaning: It’s best not to leave all the cleaning to one person (lets face it, it’s boring and it’s not fair!)  A family member once told me that she kept her house ‘clean enough’ at all times just in case someone stopped by unexpectedly.  I remember thinking at the time what wonderful advice that was from a full-time working Mother and it has stuck with me over the years.  You don’t want to be embarrassed because you haven’t dusted in weeks or there are dirty dishes piled up in your sink. 

So, you should designate a couple of hours one day per week to dusting, vacuuming and cleaning the rooms.  It works out best if you divvy up the tasks (and switch from week to week to break up the monotony of your routine).  If one day per week seems like too much work for your busy schedule, at least try to keep the rooms that your guests would see spotless and then clean the rest of your house as time permits!

Money: Ugh, bills! Lucky for newlyweds today, we have the option to pay our bills online alleviating us from having to sit down at the kitchen table and manually write out checks to every company–like our parents and grandparents did.  However, it’s very common to allow one person to handle the finances leaving the other in the dark as far as where the money goes each month.  Be sure that you both know what’s going on when it comes to your finances so that if one of you is out-of-town or unable to take care of the bills, the other one can simply fill-in.  It’s easy to miss a payment if you don’t know when it’s due or worse, you don’t know how to access your online banking account to press the payment button!

Laundry: Hand-wash, hot, cold, colors, whites only, wash but don’t dry—with all these instructions who could blame a man for not wanting to voluntarily take on doing the laundry?! Some couples prefer to stick to the “I’ll do mine and you do yours” method, but if you wish to help each other out it is probably best to do it together the first few times.  This way you could show your spouse how to separate the colors from the whites and explain what gets washed using what cycle, detergent, etc.  This will ultimately (hopefully) keep him from shrinking your favorite shirt into something even Barbie wouldn’t fit into.  Not to mention, you could have a make-out session during the spin cycle turning the laundry into something he will surely want to do again!

We’d love to hear your solutions for divvying up newlywed dirty work. Please share in a comment below!

Written by · Categorized: Newlywed Needs · Tagged: Chores, Cleaning, Cooking, equality, household, Laundry, Money, Newlywed, Newlywed Solutions, Newlywed Tips, Relationship

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