Relationship Archives

Oct 05 2010

Newlyweds: 6 Tips to Bring Your Marriage Back to Life

Do you need a few tips to bring your marriage back to life? There are so many responsibilities in life that keep piling on your plate as you grow up, and may begin to interfere with your “alone” time with your spouse. Schedules can be so hectic that your marriage unintentionally is put on the back burner, causing frustration and tension to grow between the two of you, and your daily schedules may naturally become somewhat of a routine, and you simply go through the motions. If you have transitioned into parenthood, then you surely know that your life becomes kid-centric, as your attention, your emotion, and your everyday activities are focused on your little one now rather than each other.

If you’re experiencing this, you’re not alone, but the important thing is to recognize when your lifestyle is hurting your marriage, and then do something about it! Just as all things in life, it’s good to find a ‘healthy balance’ in all that you do.

Here are a few ideas to help keep your marriage alive and healthy:

*Surprise your spouse- who doesn’t love a surprise?! Sneak a note in your spouse’s lunch, or their brief case, just letting them know how much they are appreciated and loved!

*For parents – have a dinner date one night a week (after the kids are in bed) to relax together and enjoy one another’s company. Not a parent yet? You and your spouse could go out on a date once a week or as your schedules and budgets allow. Try going to a movie or dinner at your favorite restaurant.

*Day time chat- if you don’t normally communicate with your spouse during the work day, call, text, or write a quick email just to let the other one know that although you’re busy, you are still thinking of them, and while you’re at it you may want to even throw in some naughty comments that you wouldn’t say in front of the kiddos (however, keep the freaky emails to your personal email account, not your work email—otherwise you could find yourself in the HR Office or worse)!
*PDA’s – need I say more?

*Go for a walk with your spouse and hold hands. You will both benefit from the exercise, the physical connection and the uninterrupted adult conversation that distractions such as children, TV, internet, blackberries, iphones, etc. don’t permit!

*Think about what the two of you would do when you first got together…do it again! Sure you’re older and wiser, but you’re still a couple in-love…now show each other (and have some fun doing it)!
What have you done to rekindle your relationship? Our readers would love to know your tips and tricks to a happy and healthy relationship, so please leave a comment.

Sep 29 2010

Marriage Advice: Heavy Topics Create Light Hearts

It’s time for a little marriage advice ladies. It took you (and your spouse, if you’re one of the lucky ones) your entire engagement to plan your wedding and less than a second to say “I DO.” Was there any time in there for you to have a serious conversation on what your expectations on marriage were and what makes up a successful marriage?

Couples often times spend so much time thinking about every last detail that goes into the perfect wedding that they forget that life as newlyweds (and the responsibilities that come with your new status as a married couple) begin the moment the wedding is over! Ok, maybe that was a bit over dramatic…but it certainly begins upon returning from your honeymoon.

It’s so important that prior to your marriage you discuss topics that will surely come up in your future. You may be thinking, well it’s too late now—we’re already married, but I’m hear to tell you that it’s not!

Here are important topics not to be taken lightly that the two of you as a couple should put some thought into:

What do we expect in terms of how our marriage will work?
This includes having a clear discussion on the following: When do we plan to start a family and how many children do we want? Will we have pets? Will we share household responsibilities such as: cooking, cleaning and paying the bills?

Do we understand each other’s communication style and how will we resolve conflict?
How will the two of you handle conflicts in your relationship? It’s not as easy as it was when you lived separately or when you were dating and you could hang up the phone and talk tomorrow. Discuss how the two of you will work together to resolve any issues that may arise in the future.

What do we expect from our sexual relationship?
This is some serious marriage advice. Discussions about what you need and expect sexually from your partner could definitely help alleviate future arguments!

Do we have a financial plan?
Remember that upon marrying someone, you acquire their debts (if they have any). You should definitely know each other’s credit history (i.e. credit score) as this will have a direct affect when you file for a loan to purchase a home or vehicle. If one of you has credit card debts or school loans, you will both be paying them off. You may also want to discuss whether or not you will have separate or joint bank accounts. It’s best to be upfront about finances because surprises are nice, but not when they come in the form of financial stress!

How will spirituality play a role in our marriage?
You will more-than-likely know whether or not your spouse has a spiritual background, but do you know if you believe the same things? Will you actively practice your religious beliefs as a couple? Having a belief system could help you both with any future struggles, although issues could arise if one of you is more spiritual than the other.

Discussing these tough topics may be awkward at first, but in the end these are some of the topics that can make or break a marriage. So, make it a point to sit down and communicate to benefit your married union, and it will only help you as you start a family and go through this crazy thing we called life…together!

What do you think of our marriage advice? Did you discuss any of these topics with your spouse? How did you feel afterward? Was it beneficial or a waste of time?

Aug 13 2010

New Wife, New Life: New Wardrobe?

The saying goes, “Don’t Judge a Book by its Cover;” but we know that unfortunately it can be hard not to! I was recently hanging clean laundry up in our walk-in closet, when I realized that some of my husband’s clothes looked seriously faded and old. I thought to myself, “He is in desperate need of new shirts!”

I bet if you took a look at what you’re wearing right now or thought about what you enjoy wearing, you too could find a good excuse for some new attire. It’s a fact, men do not like to go shopping like women do; which is fine, but there comes a time when you NEED to purchase yourself some new stuff—and I’m not referring to electronics or the latest video game (nice try though)! After work or on the weekends, you have your go-to outfits of t-shirts and jeans or maybe a pair of sweat pants or mesh shorts that you choose to wear as often as possible.

Chances are that you have a specific dress code required for work, whether it’s a suit and tie or uniform of some sort; which means that the last thing you want is a “uniform” or “dress code” for your home life. That’s not what I’m alluding to here at all, so no need to worry! I am, however; suggesting that it might be time to donate some of your go-to t-shirts such as: your FBI (Female Body Inspector) t-shirt, your I heart Atari t-shirt and your VANS sneakers to a teenage boy in need of your old wardrobe. While these items are a token of your youth, they don’t exactly spell-out mature, sophisticated, married man.

If you can’t imagine getting rid of your favorite childhood t-shirts [that somehow miraculously still fit you], then perhaps you should limit how often you wear them (i.e. wear them only to bed, to the gym, or better yet, put them away for when you have a son someday). Your wife loves you and has vowed to love you “til death do you part,” so she’ll no doubt still love you in your Superman t-shirt and jeans—but do her a favor and put on a nice button down shirt, polo or sweater when her family or friends stop by—she’ll greatly appreciate your effort!

And if you don’t, you may find that your favorite t-shirt has mysteriously disappeared. Gentlemen, please do your ladies a favor and get shopping! Check out your local Outlets for bargain prices on your favorite brands. Women LOVE shopping, so I’m sure your wife will have no problem being your Personal Shopper—just say the word and fork over the credit card!

What is/was your favorite piece of clothing to wear (i.e. t-shirt, sweatshirt, etc.)? What does/did it say and why is/was it your favorite? Share your stories of Batman Boxers or Thunder Cats sweatshirts that your wife had no choice, but to hide from you! Please leave your comments below and enjoy a laugh with us!

Jul 29 2010

Newlywed In Bed

Newlywed in bed? Now that you’re sharing a house, life and possibly a last name…you’re also sharing a bed…every night. While there are some definite benefits to sharing a bed with your mate there can also be a few adjustments too. Here are a few common newlywed bed complaints and fixes.

1.Snoring
No matter who in the couple is the culprit, snoring can wreck a good night’s sleep and cause some serious resentment in the morning. Try to figure out what causes the snoring: allergies, dry air or laying on his/her back and then fix the situation. Simply popping a decongestant or buying a humidifier could be your solution or one of you may need to get some ear plugs. If, after trying some of our suggestions, the snoring situation is still leading to sleep deprivation make a doctor’s appointment. There are medical conditions that can cause snoring and you want to make sure your best beloved is diagnosed and treated.

2. Cover Stealing
Anyone who has ever woken up at 3:00am freezing cold and looked over to see their partner cocooned in all of the blankets knows how annoying cover stealing can be. Fortunately, there are a few alternatives to an all night game of cover tug of war. One thing to try is tucking in your side of the sheets and blankets to anchor them in place. You could also consider buying the next size up in linens (ex: buy King size sheets for your Queen size bed) to have more “coverage” available.

3. Miscellaneous Pets
It’s enough to share a bed with your husband, but what about the combination of your pets? One of you may be dead set on letting Fluffy sleep with you, but there are a few things to consider. Does the animal disrupt either partner’s sleep? Is there a possibility that Fido has fleas or ticks that could end up in your bed or on you? Does a pet in the bed decrease your likelihood of getting it on? Here’s an article that covers the pros and cons of sleeping with your pets. At the end of the day, you need to make a decision that results in you being a well-rested and happy couple. If you’re feeling really guilty about giving a pet the boot out of the bedroom, you can always buy them their own fabulous bed!

4. Snooze Addicts
As a single person, it is completely acceptable to hit the snooze button on your alarm several (okay more than several) times each morning. As a newlywed it is insanely rude! Unless your spouse gets up before you or is an absolute saint, you need to find a way to decrease the number of snoozes. Going to bed 15-30 minutes earlier in the evening may make waking up the first time the alarm goes off easier. You could also try positioning your alarm clock across the room so you have to get out of bed to turn it off…thus decreasing the likelihood that you’ll roll over and go back to sleep.

Do you have a newlywed in bed pet peeve or story? We’d love for you to share it with us and our readers!

Jul 20 2010

5 Signs Your Newlywed Husband is in a Bromance

Is your husband in a bromance? Does he have a guy friend that he is unusually close to? He’s always talking to him or about him and reminiscing about times they’ve had together—if so, it is very likely that you’re man is part of a bromance! Some of you may be thinking, a what?! Urban Dictionary’s definition of a Bromance is a close relationship between two males to such a point where they seem like a couple.

They are more common today than ever before due to the growing number of men (and women) waiting longer to get married—and staying single. Bromances are typically between 2 heterosexual males who have known each other for a long time (since childhood or college) and may even share a bond like brothers often do.

You may recognize some of the following celebrity bromances: Brad Pitt and George Clooney, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, P. Diddy and Notorious B.I.G. (in the early 90’s). Most guys tend to have at least one best friend or co-worker they really enjoy hanging out with/being around, so there’s no need to get upset or feel jealous. Although, these negative feelings are understandable if your spouse does any of the following:

5 signs your man is part of a bromance:

He talks to his bro more often than he talks to you or anyone else and they have so many inside jokes that to you it sounds like they’re speaking a different language.
He tells you (and anyone else who will listen) the story about that “one time…” over and over again!
He tells you that he’s going to run your thoughts/ideas on a big life decision (i.e. buying a house, changing your career or starting a family) by his friend to see if HE thinks it’s a good idea.
He spends more time/effort making plans for his man date than he does planning a date night for the two of you.
He tries to include his friend in any plans you’ve made including: dinner dates, concerts, cocktail parties, vacations, etc.

If any of the above mentioned signs struck a cord with you, you’re not alone! Hey ladies, you may have a girlfriend, sister or co-worker you enjoy being with too—so try not to judge! However, in all seriousness if your man is focused more on his bromance than on romancing you it could cause some bumps in your marriage.

It is best to sit down with your husband and communicate with him about how you feel in this situation. Allow him to explain to you why his buddy means so much to him (if you don’t already know the reason(s)). After all, it’s sweet that a he feels so strongly about his friendship and shows how loyal and sensitive he can be. Perhaps he just needs to be reminded that the two of you are in a union and need to spend quality time together—alone!

So tell us ladies, has your husband brought his man crush along to your romantic Valentine’s Day dinner date or something worse? Come on, we know you have stories of a Bromance between your spouse and his BFF, so please don’t keep them inside…share them with us and other readers!