Relationships

Looking for name change advice or some tips for newlywed life? The MissNowMrs experts have created state-specific name change articles and checklists for you. We’ve chronicled our recommendations for how to travel while changing your name AND how to handle voting during the transition.

We’ve also compiled our best guidance for how to handle difficult sister in laws, holidays as newlyweds, the ever-annoying baby questions, and much more. Why? Because, while we are name change experts, we’re also newlywed wives, moms, and sisters.

We hope our name change advice articles help smooth your transition to your new name, and a whole new phase of life. Congratulations and best wishes from the entire MissNowMrs team!

9 Ways to Have a Happy Wife Starting Right Now

Want to ensure you have a happy wife? If you’re settling into you’re happily ever after role of Prince Charming (aka husband). While most princes have Disney to script all the right things to do. It might be a little daunting to realize that you now have a wife and that you play a huge role in her happiness. Here are nine simple ways to make your wife happy today.

Buy her a just-because card. A romantic or steamy card costs less than $3 and will brighten your wife’s whole day. She will also probably keep it forever!
Do a chore you know your wife hates doing without telling her. When she pulls into the driveway and sees the recycling bins already at the curb you’ll be a hero.
Pour her a bubble bath and light a few candles. There is simply nothing better than coming home to such a thoughtful and pampering gesture.
Surprise her with breakfast in bed. Worried about your cooking skills? Zip out for pastries and coffee before she wakes up .
Brag about what a great wife she is, in front of her. She may be a bit embarrassed at the time, but you’ll show her how happy you are to be her husband.
Keep a secret stash of your wife’s favorite candy. The next time she wishes for M&Ms, you can instantly grant her wish!
If you’re going out to eat with a buddy, bring something back for your wife. It could be her favorite appetizer or a mini dessert. You’ll get the green light to go out more often after this one!
Do something nice for her family. Send her mom flowers, rake their yard or help her brother with his car. Your acts of kindness will warm her heart and score you son-in-law points to boot.
Tell your wife something you love about her every day. They all don’t have to be romantic. You may love how well she balances the checkbook or loads the dishwasher…just tell her. These little compliments go a very long way to making your wife feel loved and appreciated.

As you start to follow a few of our suggestions, you’ll see how easy it is to make a woman smile. The thought behind the act is always appreciated and usually reciprocated. Remember, a happy wife equals a happy life! Ladies, if your husband has done something great for your lately we’d love to hear about it. Please leave us a comment!

3 Things You Can Do to Keep Your Guy Friends and A Happy Wife

Now that you’re married, how do you keep your guy friends? Guys always tend to have a posse of guy friends. After all, they are who you watch your favorite sports games with, sometimes they are who you work with, and overall, they are who you have a good time with. There are some times though, when your wife may not be particularly thrilled with some of your buddies. You may be lucky and everyone gets along beautifully. But then there may be a few moments when you realize things are becoming a bit tense between times when you hang out with the guys and when you are with your wife.

Seeking out the right balance between your friends and your true love can occasionally seem a bit tricky, but try following these three simple concepts:

1. Don’t let the guys talk you into anything you are uncomfortable with (or that you know your wife would seriously object to!).
Many women object to a man’s friends because of the things he does with them. From getting drunk to doing something ridiculous, your wife might worry that they are a bad influence on you. Their potential bad influence as well as your wife’s disapproval can lead to a knot of problems. Any time you go out with your friends, remember that you are an adult and will make adult decisions. Your friends should not be able to talk you into anything that you do not want to do. Likewise, if you know your wife has a serious problem with something in particular, you can make her a much happier woman by agreeing to stop that specific activity and stick to your promise.

2. Make sure to balance out time with the guys and time with her.
It isn’t hard to understand that men will need some time with other men. Just as your wife goes out with her girlfriends for a fun day of shopping or a spa treatment, she understands your need to hang out with the guys and relax. As long as you balance out time with your friends and time with your wife, everyone will be happy. If you spend each and every night with the guys and never spend any alone time with your wife, it won’t be any surprise that you come home to a very unhappy woman! She married you – she loves you, and she wants to be with you. When you show her that you can manage time with her and time with the guys, she will feel comfortable in your commitment to her.

3. Remind her that she is #1 in your heart.
When it comes down to the wire – the guys or your wife – let her know that she is your #1 choice. Sometimes it may be as simple as telling her you love her and you intend to be home by a specific time and then honor that promise. Or it may mean staying home on your anniversary when the guys have prime hockey tickets. Just remember, honoring your new wife will only result in good things for you. Trust us….it’s worth it!

5 Newlywed Rules to Throw Out the Window

One of the most annoying things that will happen to you upon becoming a newlywed is receiving unwanted, unsolicited advice from other people (both single and married)! They will bombard you with all of the ‘Newlywed Rules’ and tell you how to live your life the ‘right way’ in order to be happy. My question is: How do they know what makes you and/or your spouse happy? And what’s with the cookie-cutter way of living life, anyway?! Some of the most common rules are as follows along with reasons why you don’t have to follow them:

Rule #1: Spend All Free Time Together
We are hoping that you already realize that this is not possible and could be quite boring! If you DO end up spending ALL your free time together you’re not only going to run out of interesting things to talk about, but you will also lose touch with your family and friends. You may also find yourselves fighting more because you are sick of each other! So, get out once in awhile and enjoy catching up with friends or having time to yourself!

Rule #2: Stop Hanging Out with your Single Friends
Wait, what?! The idea that you and your spouse are a married couple and should work on replacing your single friends with other married couples is just ridiculous. It’s a great idea to have a mix of married and single friends so that when you decide to host a dinner or Super Bowl party there’s more than just one ‘type’ of person in your crowd. It will make for more interesting and dynamic conversation and an overall better time!

Rule #3: You Must go Out on Dates to be Happy
While my husband and I stick to having at least one Date Night per week (we don’t have children yet—and realize that it gets trickier when you add them to the mix), it is not necessary that you and your spouse go OUT on a date each week. Date Night doesn’t always have to mean dinner at your favorite restaurant and a movie at your local theater (that could seriously put a strain on your budget)! Your date could consist of a night at home cuddled up on the couch with your spouse. Do what works for the two of you and don’t worry about what the definition of a date is to other couples.

Rule #4: You should both Share a Last Name/Bank Account/Gym or Country Club Membership/Etc.
Nowadays 86.6% of women change their name in some way due to marriage, but that doesn’t mean that you have to. Many women are opting to have 2 last names (with or without a hyphen) or to replace their middle name with their maiden name. Now men are even changing their last name to their wife’s last name upon marriage and some couples are changing both their last names to a new last name! With all these choices out there, why would you worry about what someone else wants you to do?

It’s okay if you and your spouse decide to keep your own last names or separate bank accounts and just split the bills in half. Believe me, companies are going to accept your payment whether it comes from one check or a combination of two checks—they just want the bill paid on-time! As for your gym membership–if you attend a private Yoga or Pilates class and your spouse has a membership at a different gym, don’t feel obligated to make changes to your fitness routine. Sometimes you can save money by combining your memberships, but if there’s not that big of a difference in price or you’re not worried about losing the money than keep attending your own classes (and consider it ME time)!

Rule #5: Make a 5-Year Plan
If you are the type of person who sets goals and has a better chance of achieving them by writing them down on paper, than do it! Some people tend to stress out if they don’t reach their goals in the time they allotted to do so and end up dwelling on the idea of failure when this happens. If you are more-likely to freak out if you miss a deadline, then making a 5-year plan could be a bad idea for you. You will drive your spouse crazy with your what ifs, should have, could have, would haves! Why not just enjoy the first few years of marriage without having to worry about your deadlines to: buy a house, start a new career, start a family, go on a 2-week European vacation, etc.?

We spend so much time worrying about someone else’s idea and vision of the perfect life that we forget to just LIVE ours! Remember, it doesn’t matter what other people are doing to make their marriages work because they aren’t a part of yours. No two marriages are exactly alike and what works your grandparents, parents, in-laws and friends may not work for you. So, focus on making sure you and your spouse are happy. Keep communicating, laughing, loving, and enjoying your fabulous life together!

We’d love hear what crazy ‘Newlywed Rules’ you’ve heard since your nuptials. Leave us a comment below and start a discussion with other Newlyweds!

Rushing the Future: The Worst Possible Idea for Newlyweds

As newlyweds are you rushing the future? As Elvis sang in his famous song “Only Fools Rush In”. When it comes to marriages, most would agree that these words define truth – marrying a person you hardly know can prove to be a thoughtless and sometimes even a dangerous decision

Your marriage was different, right? It wasn’t a hasty act. You two had time to get to know each other, and the thought of marriage wasn’t something that you rushed. Like many, you married someone with whom you see yourself having children and growing old.

Wait, what was that? Having children? Retiring? Getting old? It’s only natural to think of the future occasionally, but rushing things is the worst possible idea for newlyweds! Rushing the future may not just create an array of hard-to-meet expectations for your spouse, but alienate your significant other, creating feelings of anxiety that shouldn’t be there. You may even make your husband feel trapped in the marriage instead of being a happy member of the union.

The first few years of marriage are crucial for every married couple. During those years, responsibilities are divided, finances are joined and the spouses learn each other’s habits, traits they may dislike, and nuances they may have missed during the dating period. The time of adjustment, which starts after the wedding and the honeymoon, can last anywhere from a few months for up to a year, depending on a couple. It is NOT a good time to make important financial decisions, such as buying a house, or life-altering decision such as having a child. Just let these things occur as naturally as possible.

If, prior to the wedding, you and your fiancé created a “five-year plan” where you outlined all the steps you will be taking to achieve certain goals during the first five years of marriage, remember that unforeseen circumstances can significantly alter your plans or make it impossible to achieve your set goals in such a short period of time. Perhaps you envisioned your family building its future in a different location, provided one of you found a new job there, and, due to a difficult economic situation and job market flooded with great candidates, the two of you are unable to find anything. Once again, rushing things will only create stress on your marriage. Things will work out in due course.

The best thing you can do during the first year or two of your marriage is to take things slowly, listen to your partner, and communicate and spend quality time together while continuing to maintain your own interests and circle of friends. The future is inevitable. Just focus on loving each other and let it happen! There’s no need for you to be rushing the future.

Your Newlywed Guide To Dividing Up Household Responsibilities

Is dividing up household responsibilities a sore point in your marriage? Many couples struggle when it comes to the division of chores. If you were living together before you got married, it may be an easier process. But what if the two very different households merged, and the two members of the new family need to decide who does what without making the process too lengthy and too painful? There are ways to divide the responsibilities without over-complicating the process.

First – figure out which chores you hate. If you are a “neat-freak,” and your spouse can never be pictured holding a duster, you’re probably going to want to remain responsible for dusting and cleaning. This does not mean your partner should be completely excluded from this chore – perhaps vacuuming the carpet and furniture may seem like an exciting activity to do once in a while! Note that wherever machinery is involved, your husband may be more eager to participate in the task. So if, while you love the smell of freshly cut grass, you can hardly maneuver the loan mower – let your spouse do it!

Obviously, when dividing the responsibilities, it is important to realize that job responsibilities need to come first. After a hard day at work, your partner may be exhausted, and trying to come home and handle a week’s worth of laundry on a Tuesday evening just isn’t a good idea. Sound like your house?

Try to be more understanding. Perhaps it’s time to divide things a bit differently. Maybe once a month you can handle the laundry instead. The best idea? Make a list and stick to it. Revise the list after the week passes, addressing the items that have not been taking care of and what may be behind that problem.

What if you married someone affected by the rare condition domestic-itis? You know…the refusal to participate in chores of any kind? Depending on the cultural background and the household your spouse grew up in, your best efforts at persuasion might not work.

Don’t waste your time with an argument. Simply let your spouse know that you’ll be taking part of the budget to hire an individual who will help out around the house. That will either change the picture entirely or get you the help you need right away!

How does dividing up household responsibilities work in your marriage? We’d love to hear from you in a comment.