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10 Fun Things To Do This Winter As Newlyweds

Things To Do This Winter As Newlyweds

Looking for things to do this winter as newlyweds? As the fun of the holidays begins to fade and winter sets in for the long haul, it’s easy to feel a little blah. Here are ten fun ideas for newlyweds to make winter more bearable and even fun!

1. Go Sledding! Dig out your sleds and snow pants and head outside! Better yet, invite a few couples to join you in your winter fun. You’ll feel 10 years old in a matter of minutes. Then try #4 on our list to warm up.

2. Check into a Bed & Breakfast this weekend. If you’re feeling a little house-bound, a quick getaway will boost your spirits and give you some quality time with your husband.

3. Go shopping! Now is the time to scoop up cashmere sweaters and other great winter duds at after Christmas sales. Ann Taylor, for example, is having a great sale.

4. Sit by the fire and sip cocoa. Indulge in the ultimate winter warm up!

5. Start a new hobby, like learning to knit. Knitty.com has great ideas for beginners.

6. Bikram Yoga (aka Hot Yoga). The opposite of the freezing cold is doing yoga poses in a hundred and five degree class. Not only will you warm up, you’ll sweat off all those Christmas cookies!

7. Plan your flowers/planters/garden. Nothing makes Spring feel closer than looking at catalogs of plants and envisioning what your porch or yard could look like. Check out White Flower Farms for ideas.

8. Ice skate. Even if you’ve never been before, ice skating is really fun and can be a great way to get some fresh air, exercise and a few laughs all at the same time. Look for a local rink to take your hubby or friends to.

9. Host a slumber party for your girlfriends. Get in some great girl time before temperatures rise and everyone suddenly has plans. Order pizza, do face masks and watch a chick flick or two!

10. Get a pedicure. Just because you’re wearing socks every day, doesn’t mean your toes have to suffer. Pick a sizzling summer shade to instantly feel warmer.

Have any suggestions of things to do this winter as newlyweds? Please leave a comment to share with us and your fellow readers!

5 Ways to Steer Clear of Unnecessary Holiday Highway Frustrations

holiday highway frustrations

Tis the season for holiday highway frustrations. There are two ways to look at this holiday season- 1. If you’re staying home and don’t have to travel, lucky you for avoiding the traffic troubles, but then your concerns lie with having to be the host, and cook for family and friends. 2. If you are the ones making the trek over the holidays to visit family, then fortunate for you someone else will be doing the cooking this year, but unfortunately you will need to cope with the hustle and bustle of fellow travelers!

Since my husband and I have not yet been promoted to the hosting position yet, we are the ones that are traveling around visiting our families during the holidays. Because of this, we have had to come up with a serious system; a time and money-saver system, and a try not to strangle each other in the car system. So, if you’re one of the millions of people that have plans to be traveling in the next months, here are some tips to help make it a more pleasant, enjoyable experience with your spouse!

  1. Pack the night before. If you don’t have kids yet, you’re still going to find that you are packing for more than yourself, if you catch my drift, so make sure to get the laundry finished ahead of time so that you can pack the day before your trip!
  2. Be cash conservative! Tolls are out-of-control expensive these days, so conserve your spending money elsewhere by packing a cooler with some H20 and a few snacks for the ride. This will also save you a few minutes of your time sitting through the drive through!
  3. Music is key! Make sure to have your music selection ready-to-go, especially if you get stuck in some heavy traffic on the way, you will need something fun to take your mind off of your situation at-hand!
  4. Find your alternative route. You never can be sure that you’re not going to get stuck in a detour or have to stray off of your course due to an accident.  Although your GPS can help with this situation, they’re not always 100% accurate, so printing off an alternative route from Google Maps isn’t at all a bad idea.
  5. Avoid the rage. It is so easy to lose your temper and become frustrated, so if someone flips you the bird, wink, smile or wave back. It’s so much more fun and may help to calm down the other party involved!

What are your best tactics to ease the holiday highway frustrations when traveling, and maintain your holiday spirit!? Please share!

The Scoop on Newlyweds and Divorce

Can you tell by the way a newlywed couple communicates during an argument whether or not their marriage will last?  According to a study on newlyweds and divorce conducted by UW psychology Professor John Gottman and Research Scientist Sybil Carrere the answer is YES. 

Their 6-year long study published in the fall journal of the Family Process in 1999 indicates that it’s possible to predict which newlywed couples will divorce from the way the partners interact in the first 3 minutes of discussing a disagreement in their marriage.  They interviewed 124 couples (married less than 9 months) and 17 couples ended up divorcing by the end of the study. 

Women need to learn how to soften their approach when they bring up a problem, while men have to learn how to be more accepting of what she’s saying.

According to USA Today, people are at risk of divorce throughout their marriage; however the U.S. Census Bureau 2004 found that the highest rate of divorce is between 5-10 years of marriage (8 years is the median).

Top Causes of Newlywed Divorce

Poor communication
Financial problems
A lack of commitment to the marriage
A dramatic change in priorities
Infidelity
Failed expectations or unmet needs
Addictions and substance abuse
Physical, sexual or emotional abuse
Lack of conflict resolution skills

(Source: Americans for Divorce Reform)

How to Avoid Divorce

Getting Help. Sometimes you cannot talk to each other effectively because you are arguing too much.  Seeking therapy or the assistance of a trusted pastor, family member or friend can help save your marriage.

Look in the Mirror.  Not literally, but spend some time really thinking about what you may do to contribute to the issues in your marriage.  Nobody’s perfect and we can all stand to make a few changes to become better people.

Love, Admire & Respect.  Always show each other (through actions and words) that you love, admire and respect one another. It will go a long way.  Putting forth the effort to spend some quality time together will also help keep a strong bond between you and your spouse.

So if you’re anything like me, right now you’re wondering what your chances of getting divorced are, right?  Use the Divorce360.com Calculator to find out and share your thoughts on this heavy topic with us! And, should you need help changing your name, check out our awesome name change app and service.

Fight Fair as a Newlywed and Beyond

Fight Fair as a Newlywed

It’s important to know how to fight fair as a newlywed, if you want your marriage to last. Do you and your spouse disagree on one little thing and somehow it turns into an all-out brawl where you’re screaming about things that happened months or even years ago?  If so, one or both of you may be fighting…DIRTY!  Below are useful newlywed tips on how to fight fair; and if you use them, you’ll find yourselves in a happier, healthier marriage.

#1. Face Your Fear of Confrontation and Discuss the Issue as soon as Possible-You can’t resolve an issue that you’re too afraid to bring up.  It’s time to realize that you have to discuss things that bother you in order for you and your spouse to truly be a team.  Marriage requires two people, so speak up!  Bottling up your problems will only result in a bigger blowout later on.  If you’re in public or somewhere that you don’t feel comfortable resolving the issue at least acknowledge that there IS an issue and set a specific time to talk about it when you’re in a better place/frame of mind.

#2. State exactly what’s bothering you and Stick to the Issue at Hand-Be clear about what specifically made you upset and how it made you feel.  Being as detailed as possible will help your partner understand your point of view and will present the best (and sometimes obvious) ways to resolve the issue.  Often times, individuals begin arguing about crumbs on the counter and it turns into “and I hate when you do this and I get annoyed when you do that!”  Stay focused on what occurred here and now to upset you.

#3.  Avoid Generalizing-Try not to say, “you always” or “you never” because these words cause people to be defensive and could cause your spouse to lash out at you.

#4.  If Your Spouse Says You Do Something, Then You most-likely do… (Trust Your Spouse)-Your partner will say that you do something and your response is, “I DO NOT!”  Trust that your spouse knows you well enough by now that he/she will not lie to you about what he/she sees.
#5.  Avoid Personal Insults-Don’t say things that you can’t take back (and will regret later on).  Attacking your spouse’s character or appearance is something that may truly hurt them and they will remember it and dwell on it because it came from your mouth.

#6.  Listen (You May Learn Something)-You are NOT always going to be right!  Listen to what your spouse is saying when you have a conflict.  This way you will learn what went wrong and avoid doing it again.

#7. Confront to Resolve, Not to Win-This is not a competition or a game.  The sooner you both realize that the happier you will be.  Think about it, no one truly wins when you argue.  Winning is what happens when you’re able to resolve an issue and not re-visit it.

#8. Always Remind Spouse that You Love Him/Her-I will stand by this every time.  Let your partner know that you love them after your issue is resolved.  Using those three words is the most obvious way, but a warm embrace or a passionate kiss is another great way to lighten the mood/tension between you two.  And hey–there’s nothing wrong with making-up all night long…

Tell us: What do you think about this list of ways to fight fair as a newlywed?  What will you do differently the next time you and your spouse find yourselves in an argument to avoid WWIII?

Newlywed Social Networking: Stop Snooping!

Newlywed Social Networking

You may have heard a lot of newlywed social networking news stories recently.  A couple suddenly has major issues because one person decided to poke around on another’s Facebook page or MySpace page.   This tends to occur when one person becomes curious about their partner and their online activities.  Who is he friends with?  Who follows her page updates?  Sometimes newlywed curiosity can spiral out of control and before you know it, you’re surfing your spouse’s Facebook page and suddenly the door opens and you’re caught red-handed.  What happens to your relationship then?

That’s why trust is such an important part of a relationship.  You’ve dated, fallen in love, and gotten married.  Why should things suddenly change?  Why should curiosity about your loved one’s online social life get in the way of being happy?

There are some who automatically think, “We’re married, so what’s mine is yours, and I should know everything going on in your life.”  Sure, sharing and being close is an important part of a happy, healthy marriage, but let’s face it – everyone needs a bit of alone time as well as privacy in their life.  Each of you is still an individual and will want to do different things.  Though you are a couple and sharing your life together is a wonderful thing, it can feel equally good to just be on your own for a bit.  To post some Twitter updates and joke with Facebook friends – and trust that your spouse won’t go rooting around in them.

Privacy goes a long way in the trust department.  Having a healthy amount of privacy – online and offline – means that your partner trusts you and vice versa.  There are some people who might say, “I wouldn’t mind if my spouse looked at my Facebook page.  I don’t have anything to hide.”  True, you probably don’t.  But how would it make you feel if you came home to see your partner hitting the mouse button and peering through all your social details – without your permission?  At the very least, it would make you uneasy.  Curiosity or not, it shows a lack of trust as well as a lack of respect.  If there is curiosity that must be satisfied, politely ask your partner your questions and see what the answers are.

There’s no need to let something as ridiculous as Facebook or a rogue tweet come between you and your spouse, so keep your lines of communication open and your social networking accounts private!

Do you have any stories about newlywed social networking?  We’d love to hear your discoveries, compromises & solutions, so please leave a comment.