Relationships Archives

Jul 29 2010

Newlywed In Bed

Newlywed in bed? Now that you’re sharing a house, life and possibly a last name…you’re also sharing a bed…every night. While there are some definite benefits to sharing a bed with your mate there can also be a few adjustments too. Here are a few common newlywed bed complaints and fixes.

1.Snoring
No matter who in the couple is the culprit, snoring can wreck a good night’s sleep and cause some serious resentment in the morning. Try to figure out what causes the snoring: allergies, dry air or laying on his/her back and then fix the situation. Simply popping a decongestant or buying a humidifier could be your solution or one of you may need to get some ear plugs. If, after trying some of our suggestions, the snoring situation is still leading to sleep deprivation make a doctor’s appointment. There are medical conditions that can cause snoring and you want to make sure your best beloved is diagnosed and treated.

2. Cover Stealing
Anyone who has ever woken up at 3:00am freezing cold and looked over to see their partner cocooned in all of the blankets knows how annoying cover stealing can be. Fortunately, there are a few alternatives to an all night game of cover tug of war. One thing to try is tucking in your side of the sheets and blankets to anchor them in place. You could also consider buying the next size up in linens (ex: buy King size sheets for your Queen size bed) to have more “coverage” available.

3. Miscellaneous Pets
It’s enough to share a bed with your husband, but what about the combination of your pets? One of you may be dead set on letting Fluffy sleep with you, but there are a few things to consider. Does the animal disrupt either partner’s sleep? Is there a possibility that Fido has fleas or ticks that could end up in your bed or on you? Does a pet in the bed decrease your likelihood of getting it on? Here’s an article that covers the pros and cons of sleeping with your pets. At the end of the day, you need to make a decision that results in you being a well-rested and happy couple. If you’re feeling really guilty about giving a pet the boot out of the bedroom, you can always buy them their own fabulous bed!

4. Snooze Addicts
As a single person, it is completely acceptable to hit the snooze button on your alarm several (okay more than several) times each morning. As a newlywed it is insanely rude! Unless your spouse gets up before you or is an absolute saint, you need to find a way to decrease the number of snoozes. Going to bed 15-30 minutes earlier in the evening may make waking up the first time the alarm goes off easier. You could also try positioning your alarm clock across the room so you have to get out of bed to turn it off…thus decreasing the likelihood that you’ll roll over and go back to sleep.

Do you have a newlywed in bed pet peeve or story? We’d love for you to share it with us and our readers!

Jul 14 2010

3 Things You Can Do to Keep Your Guy Friends and A Happy Wife

Now that you’re married, how do you keep your guy friends? Guys always tend to have a posse of guy friends. After all, they are who you watch your favorite sports games with, sometimes they are who you work with, and overall, they are who you have a good time with. There are some times though, when your wife may not be particularly thrilled with some of your buddies. You may be lucky and everyone gets along beautifully. But then there may be a few moments when you realize things are becoming a bit tense between times when you hang out with the guys and when you are with your wife.

Seeking out the right balance between your friends and your true love can occasionally seem a bit tricky, but try following these three simple concepts:

1. Don’t let the guys talk you into anything you are uncomfortable with (or that you know your wife would seriously object to!).
Many women object to a man’s friends because of the things he does with them. From getting drunk to doing something ridiculous, your wife might worry that they are a bad influence on you. Their potential bad influence as well as your wife’s disapproval can lead to a knot of problems. Any time you go out with your friends, remember that you are an adult and will make adult decisions. Your friends should not be able to talk you into anything that you do not want to do. Likewise, if you know your wife has a serious problem with something in particular, you can make her a much happier woman by agreeing to stop that specific activity and stick to your promise.

2. Make sure to balance out time with the guys and time with her.
It isn’t hard to understand that men will need some time with other men. Just as your wife goes out with her girlfriends for a fun day of shopping or a spa treatment, she understands your need to hang out with the guys and relax. As long as you balance out time with your friends and time with your wife, everyone will be happy. If you spend each and every night with the guys and never spend any alone time with your wife, it won’t be any surprise that you come home to a very unhappy woman! She married you – she loves you, and she wants to be with you. When you show her that you can manage time with her and time with the guys, she will feel comfortable in your commitment to her.

3. Remind her that she is #1 in your heart.
When it comes down to the wire – the guys or your wife – let her know that she is your #1 choice. Sometimes it may be as simple as telling her you love her and you intend to be home by a specific time and then honor that promise. Or it may mean staying home on your anniversary when the guys have prime hockey tickets. Just remember, honoring your new wife will only result in good things for you. Trust us….it’s worth it!

Jul 08 2010

5 Newlywed Rules to Throw Out the Window

One of the most annoying things that will happen to you upon becoming a newlywed is receiving unwanted, unsolicited advice from other people (both single and married)! They will bombard you with all of the ‘Newlywed Rules’ and tell you how to live your life the ‘right way’ in order to be happy. My question is: How do they know what makes you and/or your spouse happy? And what’s with the cookie-cutter way of living life, anyway?! Some of the most common rules are as follows along with reasons why you don’t have to follow them:

Rule #1: Spend All Free Time Together
We are hoping that you already realize that this is not possible and could be quite boring! If you DO end up spending ALL your free time together you’re not only going to run out of interesting things to talk about, but you will also lose touch with your family and friends. You may also find yourselves fighting more because you are sick of each other! So, get out once in awhile and enjoy catching up with friends or having time to yourself!

Rule #2: Stop Hanging Out with your Single Friends
Wait, what?! The idea that you and your spouse are a married couple and should work on replacing your single friends with other married couples is just ridiculous. It’s a great idea to have a mix of married and single friends so that when you decide to host a dinner or Super Bowl party there’s more than just one ‘type’ of person in your crowd. It will make for more interesting and dynamic conversation and an overall better time!

Rule #3: You Must go Out on Dates to be Happy
While my husband and I stick to having at least one Date Night per week (we don’t have children yet—and realize that it gets trickier when you add them to the mix), it is not necessary that you and your spouse go OUT on a date each week. Date Night doesn’t always have to mean dinner at your favorite restaurant and a movie at your local theater (that could seriously put a strain on your budget)! Your date could consist of a night at home cuddled up on the couch with your spouse. Do what works for the two of you and don’t worry about what the definition of a date is to other couples.

Rule #4: You should both Share a Last Name/Bank Account/Gym or Country Club Membership/Etc.
Nowadays 86.6% of women change their name in some way due to marriage, but that doesn’t mean that you have to. Many women are opting to have 2 last names (with or without a hyphen) or to replace their middle name with their maiden name. Now men are even changing their last name to their wife’s last name upon marriage and some couples are changing both their last names to a new last name! With all these choices out there, why would you worry about what someone else wants you to do?

It’s okay if you and your spouse decide to keep your own last names or separate bank accounts and just split the bills in half. Believe me, companies are going to accept your payment whether it comes from one check or a combination of two checks—they just want the bill paid on-time! As for your gym membership–if you attend a private Yoga or Pilates class and your spouse has a membership at a different gym, don’t feel obligated to make changes to your fitness routine. Sometimes you can save money by combining your memberships, but if there’s not that big of a difference in price or you’re not worried about losing the money than keep attending your own classes (and consider it ME time)!

Rule #5: Make a 5-Year Plan
If you are the type of person who sets goals and has a better chance of achieving them by writing them down on paper, than do it! Some people tend to stress out if they don’t reach their goals in the time they allotted to do so and end up dwelling on the idea of failure when this happens. If you are more-likely to freak out if you miss a deadline, then making a 5-year plan could be a bad idea for you. You will drive your spouse crazy with your what ifs, should have, could have, would haves! Why not just enjoy the first few years of marriage without having to worry about your deadlines to: buy a house, start a new career, start a family, go on a 2-week European vacation, etc.?

We spend so much time worrying about someone else’s idea and vision of the perfect life that we forget to just LIVE ours! Remember, it doesn’t matter what other people are doing to make their marriages work because they aren’t a part of yours. No two marriages are exactly alike and what works your grandparents, parents, in-laws and friends may not work for you. So, focus on making sure you and your spouse are happy. Keep communicating, laughing, loving, and enjoying your fabulous life together!

We’d love hear what crazy ‘Newlywed Rules’ you’ve heard since your nuptials. Leave us a comment below and start a discussion with other Newlyweds!

Jun 30 2010

Could This Be The Perfect Time for a Weekend Getaway?

Have you made time for a weekend getaway? Remember when you and your spouse were dating and you would surprise each other with planning something special for just the two of you? Maybe you would make a special meal for them and the two of you would spend quality time at home together or they would plan a weekend getaway for the two of you to enjoy a mini-vacation. Think long and hard–when was the last time that you actually enjoyed uninterrupted quality time together?

Money might be tight right now (since you just had a wedding, or maybe you bought a home.) But that’s no reason to forego planning a weekend away. It doesn’t have to be any where extravagant to be a good time.

So, here are a few ideas for a weekend getaway (some more budget-friendly than others, but all are sure to be a great time for the just the two of you)!

Spend the night at a Bed and Breakfast or your favorite hotel: If you ‘re lucky enough to live in the country or a mountainous area a Bed and Breakfast could be one of the most romantic places to go for the weekend. You get to ‘feel like home,’ but without the stresses of cleaning or cooking dinner.

Plan a Spa Weekend: Set up an appointment for a couple’s massage and the two of you could lie there and forget all your worries while someone takes care of your muscles. Check out spaweek.com for reputable spas near you!

Plan a Camping Trip: All you need is a tent and a sleeping bag (or two) and you could look at the stars all night while indulging in some delicious s ‘mores.

If a weekend away is too much you could try these one day adventures:
Visit a Local Amusement Park: Stop denying yourself of your inner-child! Everyone remembers when they were young and how much fun it was to ride the roller coaster over and over again.
Plan a Picnic: Visit a local park and have a picnic lunch or dinner. You could go bike riding or hiking while you’re there too; which allows the two of you to enjoy your time together and counts as your cardio workout for the day!
Visit a Local Winery: Lots of wineries offer free tastings and most don’t even require a reservation! If your winery has a deck/patio with tables, you could purchase your favorite bottle and enjoy it with some cheeses, grapes and snacks from home—just pack a small cooler!

No matter how busy your lives may seem, always remember that your relationship should come first. It’s not always that easy, but if you make it a point to surprise each other once in awhile with something fun, you’ll both truly appreciate it!

Jun 29 2010

Date Night Spice

Do you need some date night spice? How many times do you and your spouse find yourselves attending the same restaurants, and maybe even ordering the same meals!? Sometimes you may find your marriage and your life in general to be some-what of a routine… and routine is GOOD, but once in awhile you need to spice-it-up a bit! When you have a night to yourselves and are pondering over one of your select favorite restaurants to have dinner, instead… plan a date night with spice!

You say, well I’m married now, we don’t “date” – sure you do! Pick a theme, dress accordingly and go out for the evening! Here are just a few ideas for you! Discuss them with your spouse and get them all pumped up about it—they will appreciate a change from a nice dinner and bottle of wine!

Mini Golf and Ice Cream– its casual and a fun summer evening activity, or instead hit the driving range; it’s a great aggression reliever. Here’s a mini golf locator!
Pizza and Comedy– this too can be a bit more casual and you can enjoy some spontaneous laughter together either at a comedy club or at the movies (or if you’re on a budget—in the comfort of your own home)!
Beer, Wings, and Pool– visit the bar on the corner that you wouldn’t normally frequent for a nice evening out, make sure to dress accordingly, and bring some cash for the jukebox- this will be something you’ll do again!
Outdoor Stroll – enjoy the beautiful summer nights, and check out the local events in your area, this is the time you will find outdoor festivals, shows, and concerts. Hey, you might even get to know your neighbors, strolling around the block a time or two!
Bring on the Romance– Decide to try a new restaurant tonight, and get all dressed-up! It’s even more fun if you get ready in a separate room, meet him in the car, and just see where the night takes you!
At-Home-Date– don’t feel like leaving the house? Turn on some tunes, set the table (not the coffee table) or have a backyard picnic and let him cook for you—and if that doesn’t work, pizza always does!
Remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away! So enjoy your fabulous married life, and do so happily in love!