Name Change After Marriage: Expert Advice and Tips

Jul 20 2010

5 Signs Your Newlywed Husband is in a Bromance

Is your husband in a bromance? Does he have a guy friend that he is unusually close to? He’s always talking to him or about him and reminiscing about times they’ve had together—if so, it is very likely that you’re man is part of a bromance! Some of you may be thinking, a what?! Urban Dictionary’s definition of a Bromance is a close relationship between two males to such a point where they seem like a couple.

They are more common today than ever before due to the growing number of men (and women) waiting longer to get married—and staying single. Bromances are typically between 2 heterosexual males who have known each other for a long time (since childhood or college) and may even share a bond like brothers often do.

You may recognize some of the following celebrity bromances: Brad Pitt and George Clooney, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, P. Diddy and Notorious B.I.G. (in the early 90’s). Most guys tend to have at least one best friend or co-worker they really enjoy hanging out with/being around, so there’s no need to get upset or feel jealous. Although, these negative feelings are understandable if your spouse does any of the following:

5 signs your man is part of a bromance:

He talks to his bro more often than he talks to you or anyone else and they have so many inside jokes that to you it sounds like they’re speaking a different language.
He tells you (and anyone else who will listen) the story about that “one time…” over and over again!
He tells you that he’s going to run your thoughts/ideas on a big life decision (i.e. buying a house, changing your career or starting a family) by his friend to see if HE thinks it’s a good idea.
He spends more time/effort making plans for his man date than he does planning a date night for the two of you.
He tries to include his friend in any plans you’ve made including: dinner dates, concerts, cocktail parties, vacations, etc.

If any of the above mentioned signs struck a cord with you, you’re not alone! Hey ladies, you may have a girlfriend, sister or co-worker you enjoy being with too—so try not to judge! However, in all seriousness if your man is focused more on his bromance than on romancing you it could cause some bumps in your marriage.

It is best to sit down with your husband and communicate with him about how you feel in this situation. Allow him to explain to you why his buddy means so much to him (if you don’t already know the reason(s)). After all, it’s sweet that a he feels so strongly about his friendship and shows how loyal and sensitive he can be. Perhaps he just needs to be reminded that the two of you are in a union and need to spend quality time together—alone!

So tell us ladies, has your husband brought his man crush along to your romantic Valentine’s Day dinner date or something worse? Come on, we know you have stories of a Bromance between your spouse and his BFF, so please don’t keep them inside…share them with us and other readers!

Jul 19 2010

Maiden to Middle Name Change

Taking her maiden name as a middle name after marriage is one of the more popular name change choices of newlyweds today. Many women are attached to their maiden names for various reasons: they built a career using it, they are the only child to carry on the family name or they can’t imagine “being anyone else”. Adding her maiden name as a middle name allows for a woman to “keep” her maiden name while taking her husband’s last name, but avoid the mouthful of a hyphenated name.

News flash! More and more states are no longer recognizing a woman’s right to change her middle name based on marriage. What does this mean to newlyweds in the middle of name change? If you live in California, New Jersey, New York, New York City, Ohio (unless your Marriage Certificate shows your intended middle name), Pennsylvania or Washington you are unable to take your maiden name as your middle name as part of your married name change.

Be aware of your state’s policies regarding name change. If you file your government forms with a new middle name, but live in a state that disallows maiden to middle name change you will end up with mismatched identification documents. The reality of having a different name on your state driver’s license and your U.S. Passport can be unsettling. Travel will be tedious as you need to book any international flights in the name on your passport, but local flights should match your state driver’s license. There can also be issues if security is requiring two forms of ID (as yours won’t match). We highly recommend choosing one married name option and using it on ALL of your documents.

Petitioning the Court System

If a bride is dead set on changing her middle name, she will have to petition the U.S. court system via an attorney for a legal name change. This can be a very long and expensive process, but it might be the only way a couple can come to a married name they can agree upon. The moral of this blog posting is be sure to research your state’s name change policies before you begin your name change.

If you’d like to speak with a married name change expert about your particular state and situation, call the gurus at MissNowMrs. They’ll provide you with the most up-to-date information on your state for free! They can also help you consider alternate name change options if you end up being in a non-middle name change state.

Have you tried to change your name and run into red tape and state-specific issues? Share your story today and help another newlywed avoid unnecessary name change hassle! You can also check out our name change checklist for more help.

Jul 14 2010

3 Things You Can Do to Keep Your Guy Friends and A Happy Wife

Now that you’re married, how do you keep your guy friends? Guys always tend to have a posse of guy friends. After all, they are who you watch your favorite sports games with, sometimes they are who you work with, and overall, they are who you have a good time with. There are some times though, when your wife may not be particularly thrilled with some of your buddies. You may be lucky and everyone gets along beautifully. But then there may be a few moments when you realize things are becoming a bit tense between times when you hang out with the guys and when you are with your wife.

Seeking out the right balance between your friends and your true love can occasionally seem a bit tricky, but try following these three simple concepts:

1. Don’t let the guys talk you into anything you are uncomfortable with (or that you know your wife would seriously object to!).
Many women object to a man’s friends because of the things he does with them. From getting drunk to doing something ridiculous, your wife might worry that they are a bad influence on you. Their potential bad influence as well as your wife’s disapproval can lead to a knot of problems. Any time you go out with your friends, remember that you are an adult and will make adult decisions. Your friends should not be able to talk you into anything that you do not want to do. Likewise, if you know your wife has a serious problem with something in particular, you can make her a much happier woman by agreeing to stop that specific activity and stick to your promise.

2. Make sure to balance out time with the guys and time with her.
It isn’t hard to understand that men will need some time with other men. Just as your wife goes out with her girlfriends for a fun day of shopping or a spa treatment, she understands your need to hang out with the guys and relax. As long as you balance out time with your friends and time with your wife, everyone will be happy. If you spend each and every night with the guys and never spend any alone time with your wife, it won’t be any surprise that you come home to a very unhappy woman! She married you – she loves you, and she wants to be with you. When you show her that you can manage time with her and time with the guys, she will feel comfortable in your commitment to her.

3. Remind her that she is #1 in your heart.
When it comes down to the wire – the guys or your wife – let her know that she is your #1 choice. Sometimes it may be as simple as telling her you love her and you intend to be home by a specific time and then honor that promise. Or it may mean staying home on your anniversary when the guys have prime hockey tickets. Just remember, honoring your new wife will only result in good things for you. Trust us….it’s worth it!

Jul 12 2010

5 Reasons to Feel Good about the Raise in Passport Agency Fees

The Passport Agency fees to apply for a new U.S. Passport Book or U.S. Passport Card as well as the fees to renew your current U.S. Passport Book or Passport Card are going up as of Tuesday July 13, 2010. We know what you’re thinking, not another raise in fees! Unfortunately, yes that is exactly what is happening with the U.S. Passport Agency, but with good reason. Here’s a breakdown of the new fees along with some reasons not to sweat the extra money!

First time Adult U.S. Passport Book: $110 (payable to Department of State) + $25 (payable to Acceptance Facility)
First time Adult U.S. Passport Card: $30 (payable to Department of State) + $25 (payable to Acceptance Facility)
Renewal of Adult U.S. Passport Book (DS82 Form): $110 (payable to Department of State)
Renewal of Adult U.S. Passport Card (DS82 Form): $30 (payable to Department of State)
Expedite Processing Fee (added to the above mentioned fees if you need your Passport in a rush): $60

1. Fees cover more than the cost of your new Passport Book or Passport Card:
Believe it or not the fees are also used to cover the costs of providing emergency services for American citizens who have been the victims of crime (or a crisis; such as an earthquake) while traveling or living abroad as well as providing support to the families of American citizens who have died overseas.

2. Application fees allow us to keep up with the latest technology in fraud prevention:
You don’t want just anyone to be able to obtain a U.S. Passport, do you? The Passport Agency has received great praise from document security specialists all over the world and views the prevention of Passport fraud as a key ongoing priority.

3. Fees help fund passport infrastructure and service.
Offering more timely service to the traveling public is always a number one priority at the Passport Agency Office, but it is equally as important to maintain high standards for adjudication in accordance with US citizenship laws.

4. Millions of Passports are requested each year.
The demand for passports has increased to an average of 15 million per year in recent years. For example, in FY 2005, the Passport Agency issued 10.1 million passports, 18.4 million in FY 2007; and they predict to issue over 15 million in FY 2010. The new fees will help them to increase their presence in underserved areas such as communities affected by the land border-crossing requirements associated with the Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative. They expect to have 23
agencies providing emergency passport services to the general public, three high-volume application processing centers, and two large-scale document print centers by the end of FY 2010.

5. Passports are no longer used just for travel.
The U.S. Passport Book and U.S. Passport Card serves as proof of U.S. citizenship and identity for important purposes such as: work authorization and eligibility for many Federal benefits. Keep in mind that Adult U.S. Passport Books and U.S. Passport Cards are valid for 10 years, so paying these fees once every 10 years with all of the benefits listed above sounds not too shabby to us!

* Information for this post on Passport Agency Fees was obtained via the State Department website. For more details, please visit www.state.gov. If you need to change to your married name on your U.S. Passport, check out MissNowMrs.com/Passport-Name-Change.aspx for the inside scoop!

Jul 08 2010

5 Newlywed Rules to Throw Out the Window

One of the most annoying things that will happen to you upon becoming a newlywed is receiving unwanted, unsolicited advice from other people (both single and married)! They will bombard you with all of the ‘Newlywed Rules’ and tell you how to live your life the ‘right way’ in order to be happy. My question is: How do they know what makes you and/or your spouse happy? And what’s with the cookie-cutter way of living life, anyway?! Some of the most common rules are as follows along with reasons why you don’t have to follow them:

Rule #1: Spend All Free Time Together
We are hoping that you already realize that this is not possible and could be quite boring! If you DO end up spending ALL your free time together you’re not only going to run out of interesting things to talk about, but you will also lose touch with your family and friends. You may also find yourselves fighting more because you are sick of each other! So, get out once in awhile and enjoy catching up with friends or having time to yourself!

Rule #2: Stop Hanging Out with your Single Friends
Wait, what?! The idea that you and your spouse are a married couple and should work on replacing your single friends with other married couples is just ridiculous. It’s a great idea to have a mix of married and single friends so that when you decide to host a dinner or Super Bowl party there’s more than just one ‘type’ of person in your crowd. It will make for more interesting and dynamic conversation and an overall better time!

Rule #3: You Must go Out on Dates to be Happy
While my husband and I stick to having at least one Date Night per week (we don’t have children yet—and realize that it gets trickier when you add them to the mix), it is not necessary that you and your spouse go OUT on a date each week. Date Night doesn’t always have to mean dinner at your favorite restaurant and a movie at your local theater (that could seriously put a strain on your budget)! Your date could consist of a night at home cuddled up on the couch with your spouse. Do what works for the two of you and don’t worry about what the definition of a date is to other couples.

Rule #4: You should both Share a Last Name/Bank Account/Gym or Country Club Membership/Etc.
Nowadays 86.6% of women change their name in some way due to marriage, but that doesn’t mean that you have to. Many women are opting to have 2 last names (with or without a hyphen) or to replace their middle name with their maiden name. Now men are even changing their last name to their wife’s last name upon marriage and some couples are changing both their last names to a new last name! With all these choices out there, why would you worry about what someone else wants you to do?

It’s okay if you and your spouse decide to keep your own last names or separate bank accounts and just split the bills in half. Believe me, companies are going to accept your payment whether it comes from one check or a combination of two checks—they just want the bill paid on-time! As for your gym membership–if you attend a private Yoga or Pilates class and your spouse has a membership at a different gym, don’t feel obligated to make changes to your fitness routine. Sometimes you can save money by combining your memberships, but if there’s not that big of a difference in price or you’re not worried about losing the money than keep attending your own classes (and consider it ME time)!

Rule #5: Make a 5-Year Plan
If you are the type of person who sets goals and has a better chance of achieving them by writing them down on paper, than do it! Some people tend to stress out if they don’t reach their goals in the time they allotted to do so and end up dwelling on the idea of failure when this happens. If you are more-likely to freak out if you miss a deadline, then making a 5-year plan could be a bad idea for you. You will drive your spouse crazy with your what ifs, should have, could have, would haves! Why not just enjoy the first few years of marriage without having to worry about your deadlines to: buy a house, start a new career, start a family, go on a 2-week European vacation, etc.?

We spend so much time worrying about someone else’s idea and vision of the perfect life that we forget to just LIVE ours! Remember, it doesn’t matter what other people are doing to make their marriages work because they aren’t a part of yours. No two marriages are exactly alike and what works your grandparents, parents, in-laws and friends may not work for you. So, focus on making sure you and your spouse are happy. Keep communicating, laughing, loving, and enjoying your fabulous life together!

We’d love hear what crazy ‘Newlywed Rules’ you’ve heard since your nuptials. Leave us a comment below and start a discussion with other Newlyweds!