Newlywed Tips Archives

Green Thumbed Newlywed

Striving to be a green thumbed newlywed? One of my favorite things about spring and leading into summer is all the beautiful flowers that brighten up our yard and the yards of our neighbors! I have to admit, I’m not exactly the green thumb in my household…it is actually my husband who knows when to plant everything and how often to water it so it stays beautiful for the season(s).

He grew up with parents and grandparents that love gardening…seriously everything from flower beds to vegetable gardens to a pear tree growing in his grandparents’ backyard! I on the other hand grew up in a home where a landscaper took care of the shrubbery before we moved-in and the only flowers that we had were the ones we would purchase at the store and transfer into a pots that sat on our front porch and deck.

No matter how you grew up you could learn to have a green thumb…believe me, if I can learn so can you! Gardening is a great way to get back in touch with nature, be used as mild exercise or a way to relieve stress after a long day or week…so get outside this season and enjoy a new hobby!

Here are some gardening basics to help you become a green thumbed newlywed:

You’ll need some tools in order to be a successful gardener, including a shovel, pruning shears, a hose, a rake, a trowel, and a sprinkler (if necessary).

Annuals vs Perennials: Annuals for the most part don’t handle frost or cold weather very well, so it is best to plant them when the soil has had some time to warm up after winter. Perennials on the other hand can be planted in early spring or even fall and will do just fine! Find out more about the differences between annuals and perennials here.

Best Place for Flowers: Typically, flat ground is the easiest place to plant your flower bed and be sure that it’s in a sunny spot. Flowers need sun (some more than others) to live, so it’s very important to choose a place that the sun hits most of the day.

Tips for Beginners*:

Make Sure the Soil is Rich
Prepare and Loosen Soil
Plant in Warm Soil
Spray Soil with Water, Dig and Plant
Mulch (to protect soil from drying up due to sun)
Protect Plant from Insects and Disease (i.e. spray leaves with vinegar or other plant protectors)
Don’t Drown Your Plant/Flower

*Tips in detail at BasicsOfGardening.com.
What are your favorite garden flowers? What is your best tip for beginners? We’re not all green thumbs, so please help us out and leave a comment below!

Compassion Leads to Passion

Did you know that compassion leads to passion in a marriage? We all know that not every day in life is the best day ever…as a matter of fact we also know that none of us are immune to bad days, weeks, months and unfortunately even years. When I have a bad day all I want to do is go home and be with my spouse. Truly, nothing makes me feel better than a nice warm embrace from him because he knows what to say or how to act to put a smile back on my face. He is a compassionate person by nature. Are you?

I consider myself to be a compassionate person because when something goes wrong in someone else’s life I naturally find myself thinking of ways I can attempt to make them feel better (i.e. by listening, being a shoulder to cry on or even through humor). Compassion, by definition is a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering (Dictionary.com).

As a spouse you should always want to make your husband/wife feel better when they’re down, but the truth is that sometimes you don’t know what to do or say. There are circumstances that unfortunately almost nothing will make your spouse feel better in that moment (i.e. a death or loss of job); however, that doesn’t mean you can’t just be there.

Here are a few things that may help your spouse feel better the next time he has a rough day:

Cook their favorite meal: We know the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, so if you get home before he does whip up his favorite meal (even if it isn’t part of your strict diet). No time to cook his favorite meal? Try taking him to his favorite restaurant instead…there’s no prep in that!

Watch their favorite movie: So what if you’re not into war movies or raunchy comedies like he is…just cuddle up with him on the couch and know that you are helping him feel better. Here’s a list of 50 Best Guy Movies of All-Time in case you need a little direction…sorry ladies, but The Notebook didn’t make the list.

Give them a massage: The poor guy’s feeling stressed out and could use a good rub down. You can use massage oils or lotion if you have it…if not, I’m sure he’ll be happy with your hands all over him.

Give them a surprise in the bedroom: Dress up in your sexiest lingerie, give him a lap dance, or…we’ll leave it up to your imagination!

The point here is to always do whatever you can to make each other happy because life is too short to do anything less. Have you found that compassion leads to passion in your own marriage? Tell us what you do/have done to make others feel better in their time of need.

February: Time To Try Fun Things Together

Don’t forget to prioritize time to try fun things together. Now that you’re a newlywed, you may have noticed that you have more spare time than you did when you were planning your wedding and honeymoon. One great way to utilize those extra hours is to take some time to try something new with your spouse. A new experience adds instant spark to your relationship and may become a joint hobby or interest that you can share for many years to come.

Here Are a Few Fun Suggestions:

Take a dance class together. Your options range from ballroom, to salsa, to hip hop. We’re guessing your husband is going to be much happier with the latter suggestion. Is his dragging his feet? Offer a trade to make it worth his while…we’ll let you get creative with that!

Sign up for a bad-ass gym class like CrossFit. You’ll both be challenged by the class and can cheer each other on. The result? An awesome endorphin high and the bond of making it through together. If you keep attending the classes as a couple, you’ll both have rock hard bodies before beach season!

Consider attending a wine or beer tasting class . You’ll both enjoy yourselves and come away with a new appreciation for adult beverages. You can also use your new knowledge to create really cool food pairings at home and impress a few friends.

Join a recreational sports team. Ultimate Frisbee or rec soccer would be good choices. You’ll make new friends and foster a team mentality that can be very helpful in your married relationship.

Try a cooking class. Pick a genre of food that you both love to eat, but have no experience cooking and then find a class offered in your area. You’ll have a great time and end up with at least one dish that you can prepare as a couple.

No matter what you do, the point is to try something new together. The challenge itself will be exciting and give you something to talk about at the next party you attend. You’ll be the cool couple who learned how to Cha-Cha or make pad Thai last week!

Have you committed to try fun things together as newlyweds? Did they turn out to be fun or at least something to laugh about? Leave a comment and let us know!

Splitting the Chores, Newlywed Style!

It’s official: no one likes doing chores. You’d always find that strange kid in high school who actually liked to do homework, but show me one person who actually likes to do all the chores that have to get done around the house and I’ll be duly amazed. Chores are the most mundane part of being married, but believe it or not lots of couples have huge fights over chores. Before you begin to argue over whose turn it is to do the dishes or who has to take the trash out, it’s a good idea to split up the chores in a way that’s agreeable to the both of you.

One of the biggest deciding factors on who is going to do what type of chore is who is going to be home and who is not. Some couples have similar work schedules, but quite often, in today’s economy, one spouse is working much later than the other, or on days that the other spouse has off. Before you can begin to split up all the household chores that you have to get done, you need to make sure that you set realistic goals. You can’t expect someone to take out the trash every Saturday morning, for instance, if they have to be at work at 7 am on a Saturday. Take their work load into consideration before you even begin negotiating.

When you start splitting up the chores, volunteer to take everything that you truly enjoy doing. Do you like making meals? Do you not mind folding laundry? Put on the table everything that you actually enjoy doing. If you both like to do similar things, you can bargain for things that you dislike to do, like taking out the trash or sweeping the floor.

While some couples divide up each and every chore, others are more fluid in their division. For instance there are many couples where the wife is in charge of most of the household chores (with a few thrown in for the man), while the husband is in charge of vehicle and yard maintenance. Or vice versa. What works best for you is what’s important, and that you both agree on the division of labor. And remember: if you ever start to have an issue over the chores that you’re supposed to be doing, don’t get upset or passive-aggressive, actually talk to your spouse about the situation. Bargains and changes can always be made!

What deals have you and your spouse made about chores? We’d love to hear about your division of labor!

Tips for Effective Newlywed Communication

Remember those nights that you used to spend hours on the phone talking with one another when you first started dating? Then, as time passed, you got more comfortable being quiet when you were in each other’s company. That’s actually a good thing. What’s not so good is when you start to have a hard time communicating with each other. Many newlyweds actually find themselves in this type of a predicament right after they’re married. Even if they’ve been living together before their wedding, and they had no problem communicating before, there’s something about that marriage certificate that changes everything, and you may need to learn how to communicate effectively with each other all over again!

How much time do you spend talking with your spouse on an everyday basis? Most couples say that they only spend a few minutes talking with their newlywed husband or wife, even if they have similar work schedules. They get home, make dinner, and then go to their respective ends of the house. She may be working out or chatting online, while he may be watching sports or tinkering in the garage. This is not effective communication, in fact it’s a total lack of communication. If you find that your life is like this, try meshing together what you love. For instance if she loves to get online after work, and he’d rather watch sports, why not get a laptop? Then she can bring it into the living room and can sit right next to her husband while he’s watching sports. Yes you’re both doing two different things, but the simple act of being together in the room will spark conversation, even if it’s only to debate about the benefits of having a high def television.

When you get into arguments having good communication established is the most effective way to end the argument. If you find that you’re having a difficult time talking about the subject with your spouse face-to-face, try doing it another way. Some couples have a very hard time with verbal disagreements because they turn into heated fights very quickly. If this is your situation, try sending emails to each other. When you write an email you are able to compose things to say exactly what you want to say to your spouse, without rehashing things that should be left in the past. Remember to always re-read the things that you have written a few times before hitting the send button. This can open up the lines of communication and can give you both time to cool down before you meet for that face-to-face discussion, and for the best part of any argument: the makeup portion.
What newlywed communication tips do you have for our readers? Please share them with us in a comment!