Relationships Archives

Jan 25 2011

Fairytales vs. Realistic Expectations For Your Marriage

What are your expectations for your marriage? Most girls grow up dreaming about their wedding day. They dream about wearing a beautiful gown and walking down an aisle flanked by loving friends and family. Or they dream about an amazing ceremony performed on a beach. Either way, it’s a fairy tale. Even men tend to have fairy tale ideas about their wedding, and, their marriage as well. One reason why so many newlyweds have a hard time in those first two years of marriage is because they go into it expecting to live a fairy tale.

Unfortunately, all of married life can’t be a fairy tale. A fairy godmother isn’t likely to come sweeping into your home brandishing a beautiful gown for you to wear to the ball, nor is your new husband likely to cover you in chocolate and roses every day. While you should expect your new marriage to be a wonderful time in your life, you might want to tone down your fairy tale expectations to avoid putting too much pressure on yourself and spouse.

If you want your marriage to last, the most important thing is to recognize that married life isn’t a fairy tale, it requires work. Yes, there are a lot of fun and amazing things that you can do together, and there are certain days where it will feel magical, but eventually, you’ll find yourself dealing with the mundane or the frustrating. You’ll have to deal with in-laws or boring friends or demanding work schedules. How can you keep your relationship together with real life intruding?

Make your relationship your top priority. No you’re not Cinderella and that’s not a prince that you’re married to (unless you’re Kate Middleton), but he is your partner, and together the two of you are a team. Like your favorite sports team, you have to learn how to work together in order to keep your marriage together.

A big part of making sure that your life together is a happy one, and is the fairy tale that you hope it to be, is in enjoying the simple things that your share. Enjoy the time that you have together, and the silly and fun things that you do as a couple. This makes your married life much better than a fairy tale, it makes it a happy, healthy relationship! Now that’s something they should write stories about!

How are you keeping your marriage happy and healthy? Have you both been working to make your expectations for your marriage a reality?

Jan 19 2011

Newlyweds: Good Habits Are Hard To Break!

Newlyweds, good habits are essential to a healthy marriage. Just as we have all figured out about one thing or another in life, bad habits are hard to break! Fortunately- good ones are too! There are, naturally, many different changes that take place once you’re married… your daily routines adapt to one another’s routine, your sleeping pattern alters, your eating habits, your interaction and communication conforms to one another’s, and so on.

So start newlywed life off on the right foot! Get into the ‘good’ habits with your spouse as you step into the married world, so that you’re more likely to continue following in each other’s positive nature, thirty years down the road!

Here are a few ideas for you to think about, while deciding what is important in your marriage, and to help you recognize what your good habits are with your spouse!

-Kissing each other hello and goodbye (of course) but also kiss for no reason! What better, more simplistic way of showing each other the love and affection you have for them. Remember, it’s the little things that mean so much!

– Keeping communication open and honest between you and your spouse is one of the more important good habits to get into. This is something that will be important in your relationship for life!

–Resolve disagreements through discussion with an open mind. It’ s never good to continue an argument for any length of time, so talking things out with one another, and not walking away mad is key!

-Taking time for you. It’s important to spend time together and it’s just as important to spend time doing something for you! If your spouse is glued to the TV and you have absolutely no interest in Survivor Man, then grab a book, and read next to him (then you’re both happy).

-If you and your spouse have children, and have a designated “date” night with just the two of you, stick to it! It’s important to remember that time alone is one key to a good marriage.

– Remember to spend time with your friends whether it be dinner and drinks or a day of shopping… it’s important not to lose touch!

-Do things together; such as sit down for breakfast in the morning or make dinner together at night, go to church on the weekends, visit your families on a regular basis…whatever it may be, keeping a variety of positive activities in your life helps to bring you closer as a couple!

What are some of the newlyweds good habits that you and your spouse share that are important in your marriage? We’d love for you to share in a comment!

Jan 18 2011

7 Debt-Free Newlywed Date Night Ideas

Looking for debt-free newlywed date ideas? The holidays take a lot out of us (physically and financially), but that doesn’t mean that we should forego Date Night all together, right? I say absolutely not! Try one or all seven of these budget friendly Date Night Ideas:

1. Go bowling: It’s fun (even if you need to use the bumpers) and it doesn’t cost nearly as much as going out for dinner and drinks. Heck, you could bowl 3 or more games for the price it costs you to eat out.

2. Prepare a romantic dinner (at home): Head to your local grocery store and pick up all the necessities for your home cooked meal. DivineDinnerParty.com has a collection of romantic dinner recipes that will surely sweep you both off your feet! You can light some candles, open a bottle of wine and listen to your favorite love songs while enjoying each other’s company.

3. Dance the night away: Set up your iPod to play your favorite guilty pleasure songs or dust off your CD’s and you could sing and dance in your family room. It sure beats paying a cover charge to enter the club and then for drinks too!

4. Rent a movie: They are so cheap ($1.00) to rent using RedBox (typically located at grocery stores and gas stations). You can choose your movie and snuggle up on the couch and enjoy it together.

5. Bath Time: Who needs a hot tub when you can fill the bath tub with hot water and bubbles?! Light some candles and you’ll have yourselves a relaxing, romantic evening for two!

6. Watch the sunrise or sunset: When was the last time you did something with your spouse without distractions? It’s so beautiful to watch the sun come up or go down. Just sit there (enjoy each others’ company) and stare as the beautiful colors appear in the sky (and it’s FREE)! Click here to find out what time the sun will rise/set in your area: calendar-updates.com.

7. Looking for some slight physical activity and entertainment: Head to your local driving range or try mini golf (it’s always a good time)!

Do you have anything to add to this list? What budget-friendly Date Nights have you and your spouse enjoyed?

Jan 12 2011

Kissing: Not Just a Newlywed Past Time

Kissing is not just a newlywed past time. Think long and hard, when was the last time you and your spouse really kissed? I’m talking about a passionate connection, not just a peck on lips before you leave for work or when you get home. Kissing is a wonderful way to connect with each other and can make you feel like a love-struck teenager!

Nothing says I love you as much as a kiss out of nowhere, not to mention it could help keep your relationship young and fun. A great kiss can lead to a full on make-out session and some steamy heat in the sheets!

According to Hilda Hutcherson, M.D. author of What Your Mother Never Told You About S-E-X, for some women, “Kissing is more intimate, than intercourse.” You may be asking yourself why? Well, science tells us that kissing causes our bodies to release endorphins much like exercise, chocolate and other things that make us happy individuals.

In a recent Redbook Magazine poll, 79% of readers said they don’t kiss their husbands nearly as much as they’d like; 58% said they don’t kiss as much as they used to and 14% said they’re lucky to do it once a day. Wait, what?! Come on ladies and gents, brush those teeth and get to kissing! It’s a fact that our busy lives can cause stress and strain in our marriages, however; making a conscious effort not to allow life to get in the way of our relationships is the best we can do.

So, try this: Always kiss your spouse good morning, goodbye before work, when you come home, while you’re watching tv, before you go to bed… in bed. You get the idea, sneak in a kiss any time anywhere (within reason) as full on PDA could make others feel incredibly uncomfortable (i.e. when children are around or getting a wee-bit too touchy feely).

WebMD has a great article called Kissing: The Hot Love Habit That Makes You Both Happier full of giggly, fun, hot and sexy experiments for the 2 of you to try. Believe me, they will keep the sparks flying like fireworks!

Tell us: Did this post make you realize it’s time to for more kissing? Did you try any of these experiments and how did they make you feel as a couple?

Jan 11 2011

A Happy Marriage, A Partnership!

I came across an interesting article the other day, and found it to provide some good ‘food-for-thought’ for married couples, and I wanted to share it with you! Have you heard people say that once you’re a newlywed it is no longer a “Me” thing it’s an “Us” thing!? To a certain extent I suppose that’s true but don’t forget that you are still your own person, and have your own needs, thoughts, desires and expectations for your life… you’re just now working as a team with your partner to achieve these things!

Have you stopped to think about the reasons why you fell in love with your spouse and what makes you happy in your marriage? The article that I want to share with you describes how couples are looking for more of a “partnership” in a relationship, to mold and shape each other into becoming a ‘better’ person! Individuals in a relationship can offer things to one another that maybe they were lacking on their own, ultimately creating a more self-fulfilling, happy marriage! I found this to be very true for my husband and me, in the fact that we compliment one another in different aspects of our life; which makes us a good team. He provides me with certain things that I was lacking on my own, and vice versa. I suppose this is backing up the “two heads are better than one” concept!

Share with us the things in your marriage that you and your partner ‘compliment’ one another in and what makes you a great team!