Relationships

Looking for name change advice or some tips for newlywed life? The MissNowMrs experts have created state-specific name change articles and checklists for you. We’ve chronicled our recommendations for how to travel while changing your name AND how to handle voting during the transition.

We’ve also compiled our best guidance for how to handle difficult sister in laws, holidays as newlyweds, the ever-annoying baby questions, and much more. Why? Because, while we are name change experts, we’re also newlywed wives, moms, and sisters.

We hope our name change advice articles help smooth your transition to your new name, and a whole new phase of life. Congratulations and best wishes from the entire MissNowMrs team!

Newlyweds: 6 Tips to Bring Your Marriage Back to Life

Do you need a few tips to bring your marriage back to life? There are so many responsibilities in life that keep piling on your plate as you grow up, and may begin to interfere with your “alone” time with your spouse. Schedules can be so hectic that your marriage unintentionally is put on the back burner, causing frustration and tension to grow between the two of you, and your daily schedules may naturally become somewhat of a routine, and you simply go through the motions. If you have transitioned into parenthood, then you surely know that your life becomes kid-centric, as your attention, your emotion, and your everyday activities are focused on your little one now rather than each other.

If you’re experiencing this, you’re not alone, but the important thing is to recognize when your lifestyle is hurting your marriage, and then do something about it! Just as all things in life, it’s good to find a ‘healthy balance’ in all that you do.

Here are a few ideas to help keep your marriage alive and healthy:

*Surprise your spouse- who doesn’t love a surprise?! Sneak a note in your spouse’s lunch, or their brief case, just letting them know how much they are appreciated and loved!

*For parents – have a dinner date one night a week (after the kids are in bed) to relax together and enjoy one another’s company. Not a parent yet? You and your spouse could go out on a date once a week or as your schedules and budgets allow. Try going to a movie or dinner at your favorite restaurant.

*Day time chat- if you don’t normally communicate with your spouse during the work day, call, text, or write a quick email just to let the other one know that although you’re busy, you are still thinking of them, and while you’re at it you may want to even throw in some naughty comments that you wouldn’t say in front of the kiddos (however, keep the freaky emails to your personal email account, not your work email—otherwise you could find yourself in the HR Office or worse)!
*PDA’s – need I say more?

*Go for a walk with your spouse and hold hands. You will both benefit from the exercise, the physical connection and the uninterrupted adult conversation that distractions such as children, TV, internet, blackberries, iphones, etc. don’t permit!

*Think about what the two of you would do when you first got together…do it again! Sure you’re older and wiser, but you’re still a couple in-love…now show each other (and have some fun doing it)!
What have you done to rekindle your relationship? Our readers would love to know your tips and tricks to a happy and healthy relationship, so please leave a comment.

Marriage Advice: Heavy Topics Create Light Hearts

It’s time for a little marriage advice ladies. It took you (and your spouse, if you’re one of the lucky ones) your entire engagement to plan your wedding and less than a second to say “I DO.” Was there any time in there for you to have a serious conversation on what your expectations on marriage were and what makes up a successful marriage?

Couples often times spend so much time thinking about every last detail that goes into the perfect wedding that they forget that life as newlyweds (and the responsibilities that come with your new status as a married couple) begin the moment the wedding is over! Ok, maybe that was a bit over dramatic…but it certainly begins upon returning from your honeymoon.

It’s so important that prior to your marriage you discuss topics that will surely come up in your future. You may be thinking, well it’s too late now—we’re already married, but I’m hear to tell you that it’s not!

Here are important topics not to be taken lightly that the two of you as a couple should put some thought into:

What do we expect in terms of how our marriage will work?
This includes having a clear discussion on the following: When do we plan to start a family and how many children do we want? Will we have pets? Will we share household responsibilities such as: cooking, cleaning and paying the bills?

Do we understand each other’s communication style and how will we resolve conflict?
How will the two of you handle conflicts in your relationship? It’s not as easy as it was when you lived separately or when you were dating and you could hang up the phone and talk tomorrow. Discuss how the two of you will work together to resolve any issues that may arise in the future.

What do we expect from our sexual relationship?
This is some serious marriage advice. Discussions about what you need and expect sexually from your partner could definitely help alleviate future arguments!

Do we have a financial plan?
Remember that upon marrying someone, you acquire their debts (if they have any). You should definitely know each other’s credit history (i.e. credit score) as this will have a direct affect when you file for a loan to purchase a home or vehicle. If one of you has credit card debts or school loans, you will both be paying them off. You may also want to discuss whether or not you will have separate or joint bank accounts. It’s best to be upfront about finances because surprises are nice, but not when they come in the form of financial stress!

How will spirituality play a role in our marriage?
You will more-than-likely know whether or not your spouse has a spiritual background, but do you know if you believe the same things? Will you actively practice your religious beliefs as a couple? Having a belief system could help you both with any future struggles, although issues could arise if one of you is more spiritual than the other.

Discussing these tough topics may be awkward at first, but in the end these are some of the topics that can make or break a marriage. So, make it a point to sit down and communicate to benefit your married union, and it will only help you as you start a family and go through this crazy thing we called life…together!

What do you think of our marriage advice? Did you discuss any of these topics with your spouse? How did you feel afterward? Was it beneficial or a waste of time?

Best Newlywed Advice

Looking for newlywed advice? People love giving advice about all kinds of topics, as a way to help others. You know this, you’re a newlywed who has more-than-likely received an array of solicited or unsolicited advice about how to be the perfect bride, perfect wife, perfect friend or co-worker (basically, how to be Super Woman)!

Here’s 3 bits of advice graciously given to myself and 2 of my colleagues by our closest family members that we felt would help you in your new status as a newlywed couple!

The best advice I received was to never stop talking to your husband. At the time I thought, what is that supposed to mean, of course I’m going to always talk to him. Now, after 4 years of marriage I realize that the person meant talk with (a.k.a. communication is the key). Some people may think this is so easy, but it is in fact one of the hardest things to do.

Most people can talk until their blue in the face, but communicating well is another story. So my advice to you is that a conversation should always be a two-way street when you or your spouse is feeling upset or even happy about something!

Another great piece of advice that one of my colleagues received is to NEVER go to bed angry! Stay up all night if you have to, but always come to an agreed upon resolution to the issue at hand. There will be times that you may have to agree to disagree and that’s ok as long as you remember to respect each other’s views on the issue.

Last, but certainly not least is to remember to show appreciation for one another. Think back to when the two of you were dating (and perhaps living separately). When you were out shopping you would see something (i.e. a shirt or favorite food) that made you think of the other person and smile. What did you do? Maybe you called him/her, texted or purchased the item for your significant other. Don’t stop doing that now! It’s so easy to let life (work, friends, kids, etc.) get in the way sometimes. Remember, often times it’s the little things that count the most!

What is the best advice that you have received regarding your newlywed couple status? Not a newlywed (no problem), what is the best advice that you could give to our newlywed readers? They all want to know what has worked best for you and your spouse to create a happy long-lasting marriage.

Newlywed In Bed

Newlywed in bed? Now that you’re sharing a house, life and possibly a last name…you’re also sharing a bed…every night. While there are some definite benefits to sharing a bed with your mate there can also be a few adjustments too. Here are a few common newlywed bed complaints and fixes.

1.Snoring
No matter who in the couple is the culprit, snoring can wreck a good night’s sleep and cause some serious resentment in the morning. Try to figure out what causes the snoring: allergies, dry air or laying on his/her back and then fix the situation. Simply popping a decongestant or buying a humidifier could be your solution or one of you may need to get some ear plugs. If, after trying some of our suggestions, the snoring situation is still leading to sleep deprivation make a doctor’s appointment. There are medical conditions that can cause snoring and you want to make sure your best beloved is diagnosed and treated.

2. Cover Stealing
Anyone who has ever woken up at 3:00am freezing cold and looked over to see their partner cocooned in all of the blankets knows how annoying cover stealing can be. Fortunately, there are a few alternatives to an all night game of cover tug of war. One thing to try is tucking in your side of the sheets and blankets to anchor them in place. You could also consider buying the next size up in linens (ex: buy King size sheets for your Queen size bed) to have more “coverage” available.

3. Miscellaneous Pets
It’s enough to share a bed with your husband, but what about the combination of your pets? One of you may be dead set on letting Fluffy sleep with you, but there are a few things to consider. Does the animal disrupt either partner’s sleep? Is there a possibility that Fido has fleas or ticks that could end up in your bed or on you? Does a pet in the bed decrease your likelihood of getting it on? Here’s an article that covers the pros and cons of sleeping with your pets. At the end of the day, you need to make a decision that results in you being a well-rested and happy couple. If you’re feeling really guilty about giving a pet the boot out of the bedroom, you can always buy them their own fabulous bed!

4. Snooze Addicts
As a single person, it is completely acceptable to hit the snooze button on your alarm several (okay more than several) times each morning. As a newlywed it is insanely rude! Unless your spouse gets up before you or is an absolute saint, you need to find a way to decrease the number of snoozes. Going to bed 15-30 minutes earlier in the evening may make waking up the first time the alarm goes off easier. You could also try positioning your alarm clock across the room so you have to get out of bed to turn it off…thus decreasing the likelihood that you’ll roll over and go back to sleep.

Do you have a newlywed in bed pet peeve or story? We’d love for you to share it with us and our readers!

Co-habitation: Newlywed Surprises and Compromises

Cohabitation can be full of newlywed surprises and compromises. If you’re moving in together after the Big Day, you probably can’t wait to start married life together. What could be more romantic than sharing a home, waking up together and never having to wait to see each other? With all of this built up anticipation, the challenges of early co-habitation might catch you off guard. There are several things to consider as you plan your move-in to help smooth the transition and ensure newlywed bliss.

If your partner is moving into your house, make room for him. Empty a closet (this can include a painful trip to Goodwill) in your room for his clothes, and if room permits, give him a room that is “his”. These small acts will show your man that you have made room for him in your home and in your life. He will sincerely appreciate the fact that you don’t expect him to squeeze himself and his stuff in a corner. Added bonus: the man room can be a great place to put any of his bachelor “décor.”

If you’re both moving to a new place after the wedding, consider how much space you’ll need based on how much stuff you both have. If neither of you can part with the majority of your furniture, you might need a much larger place than you anticipated. This brings us to potentially one of the harder parts of living together…combining your stuff. Try to be as rational as possible when approaching the big merge. If you have a ratty old couch from college and he has a new sofa, concede that his should be the one you keep (even if it is orange). Make trades, such as “I’ll get rid of this lamp if you get rid of that recliner”.

If you can’t come to a decision you both feel good about, consider donating both items and buying a new one together. It’s important to realize that with the addition of all of your wedding gifts, it is virtually impossible to keep all of each person’s belongings.

Living or moving somewhere with two bathrooms? I highly recommend starting a marriage with your own bathroom. Learning to live with someone can be stressful, and allocating bathrooms allows you to keep your current morning schedule without interrupting each other. It also circumvents any disputes about cabinet space and leaving seat up vs. leaving the seat down. Small amounts of personal space allow you both to breathe and adjust to living together.

No matter where you’re living or moving to, communication and planning are key. Try to hash out the majority of major co-habitation decisions before your move. Take into account both partners’ current schedules, commutes, belongings and ideas as you come up with a mutual plan to co-habitate and start your journey of married life together. A little planning goes a long way towards happily ever after!

Do you have any funny co-habitation newlywed surprises and compromises? We’d love to hear how you accidentally used an expensive bottle of “his” wine to make spaghetti sauce or how he ended up washing his hair with your fancy body lotion!